


Drum Major of Your Heart

by NotSoForteQuhe



Series: Fortissimo Feelings (DMOYH universe) [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Asthma, Band, Band couples, Bashing on nerds, Cheerleaders, Controlling Behavior, Emotional Manipulation, F/F, Falling In Love, Fist Fights, Friendship, High School, Human gems, Implied Sexual Content, Insecurity, Jealousy, Lil lesbians, Love Triangles, Marching Band, Mental Health Issues, Mild Language, Musicians, My First Work in This Fandom, Name-Calling, Nerd!Peridot, Pain, Possessive Behavior, Prosthetics!Peridot, Romance, Sexual Attraction vs Romantic Attraction, Sexual Relationships, Some Spanish, Somewhat punk/indie/hipster!Amethyst, Stereotypes, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, Unhealthy Relationships, Violence, band nerds, gay af, human!AU, idk man
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-07-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 21:00:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 90,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6582241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotSoForteQuhe/pseuds/NotSoForteQuhe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peridot is a stereotypical high school nerd, excelling in all of her classes, in high grade level classes, and even taking college classes. Aside from academics, she's in the school's marching, jazz, and concert band. As a sophomore, she is one of the school's best musicians overall and her clarinet skills are already as good as her best friend, Jade. Needless to say, she excels at everything, and despite being the most infamous nerd at South Downtown High, she managed to score with the quarterback of the football team and a girl a grade higher, Jasper. Jasper and Peridot were the school's most infamous power couple for many different reasons, despite their on and off tendencies. When Peridot is assigned a new duet partner after her original one move moved away, she meets the new alto saxophonist, Amethyst, a punk/indie teen with no filter, things get more interesting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. New Duet Partner

**Author's Note:**

> This is a little idea that's been floating around in my head.  
> Amedot centric but it starts with Jasper and Peridot and there will be some cute moments with them but they're not the focus of this.  
> Probably pretty OOC tbh. This is going to be focused more around the band partners aspect of this.

Peridot was overall pleased with how her life was going. The first year of her high school career had been absolutely Hell, being the stereotypical nerd she was, almost as if she came out from a movie cliché. But her sophomore year was never what she had ever prayed for (not that she exactly believe in that stuff). In freshman year, everyone had picked on her and she lost count of how many times she had been asked out so that the popular kids could laugh about it with their friends. She had been excruciatingly lonely, other than when she hung out with her one best friend, Steven Universe, and occasionally she had followed the boy to his table during lunch, hanging out with his other, older female friends. Peridot supposed she had friends, but none that often talked to her outside of class and after school. She was in many clubs and extracurriculars because she knew that many colleges were looking for a student that was active in high school. However, the only club/elective class that she had enjoyed greatly was concert, jazz, marching band. The people in there weren't exactly popular, but they were still above her level. They were all very kind and made the kind of jokes she laughed at and most importantly, they found her hilarious. She also excelled at the instruments she played, including the clarinet as her main instrument. To summarize, she has enjoyed her time in marching band mostly, playing at the school's football games and sometimes basketball and baseball games as a pep band. 

But towards the beginning of her marching band season, she had been at a daytime football game. It was unusual, but occasionally they happened on Saturday's when Friday was not an available day for the field or the opposing team. It was bright and sunny and it seemed like it would be a pretty bad day for the small girl, having to wear her thick, long sleeved marching uniform. 

_“Ugh. These clods need to figure out a better time to have their games. It's bad for us, my skin and hair, it's extremely sweaty, and it could damage our instruments.” Peridot ended her rant to her clarinet captain, Jade. She knew mostly often she thought the same as her. However her only response was a nod and a groan._

_The clarinetist whined once more and mumbled that she was going to go fetch some water. She tried her best to walk straight past the football team, practicing on their side of the field (the football team and band director decided that before a game, they could both practice using half of the field). She didn't particular like socializing with the ‘jocks’ mostly because a majority of them pretended to be cheerful of the marching band but were really disrespectful to her and would laugh at her enthusiasm for the music and couldn't remember most of them or even congratulated them when they qualified for the state championships._

_She would've gone unnoticed, if there had not been a large Hispanic football player clad in their uniform running towards her. She was looking down, to avoid contact and when she heard footsteps, she looked up and it was too late. With a scream, they classed together, Peridot getting the most impact as the bigger, bulkier figure landed on her. Quickly, the person moved back quickly, freaking out._

_“Oh my god, I'm so sorry, are you okay?!” The person, a women based off the voice, mumbled and it was soon confirmed about her gender as she removed her helmet and with that all her blonde hair fell to her back. She was probably the beefiest girl Peridot had seen. She had vibrant hazel eyes. “Please tell me you're not hurt. Oh god, that's 300 lbs.”_

_All that came out of Peridot was a groan. She tried to say words but she felt it was too much energy. She then tried to sit up but that was a bust as well. Before her next attempt, her friend Jade was rushing over to her. Shr was frantic, “Dot! Dot! Oh no, you're tiny and fragile there's no way you're okay.” Jade glanced up and glared at the football player in front of them._

Jasper and Peridot had been dating for about a year coming somewhat soon and despite that they were on and off, they were both happy. Peridot was a woman of her pride so they once in awhile break up because of a fight and her being too petty to apologize, usually resulting in Jasper apologizing when she wasn't wrong. But they were what was called a ‘power couple’. Jasper had been crowned their school’s ‘homecoming princess’ and had refused the dance with the homecoming prince, which was a tradition and instead danced with her nerdy girlfriend, the one that she kept near and dear to her heart. They shared a kiss and were then kicked out for ‘throwing the rules’. 

Peridot was snapped out her reminiscing when she heard Jade greeted her when she reached the old unused basketball courts that they used for drill setting. They wasn't an official band rehearsal but it was optional and Mr. A was there to help the underclass man with their marching and Mr. A told Peridot she ‘better be there’ to work on her solo and Jade was here helping the younger woodwind players. 

They went on practicing drill and technical studies. Peridot was working by herself on the other side of the court. Her solo was an important part of the who show, it changed the whole theme of it. To sum, it was the climax of the whole performance.

Her solo was turned into a duet when there was an alto sax added, and then took it over as their own solo. She had gotten it to be perfect with her musical partner, Jason, but he family problems and had to move out of the blue. They were holding auditions for who can take his solo and spot but all the saxes in their band currently didn't have enough energy to be a soloist. Mr. A had told her not to stress about it and he'll figure things out but she needed to know what was going on!

Minutes went by with her having to play both parts so that she could hear it for reference when her band director was approaching her. With him was a girl about her height, a little bit shorter but her body type was more plump. She was wear a blue exercise tank top and neon purple shorts. Her hair appeared to be long and thick, even though it was up in a bun. Peridot could so see that her hair was artificially color lilac purple. The girl was carrying a black instrument case with her. 

“Hey Peridot! You never guess what happened. This is Amethyst, she moved here recently and she's an exceptional alto saxophonist! She's won regional competitions all around in her last ensemble. Oh, this is a miracle!” The old band director cried out and lowered his voice, “She's a much better option to take someone like Jason's spot rather than the other fools. Sorry I'm rushing but get to know each other and show her the slow first, then help her set drill! I gave her the drill sheet and music but I gotta go set her up with our program. Bye!” The over excited music teacher went without another word back to his band room. 

The two girls stood there, staring after him. That was kind of messy, but it did make sense since he's been stressing about this and it had caused them to receive a good instead of an excellent at their last competition. “Wow. Is he always like this?” The new girl chucked to herself, breaking the silence. She moved her hand out to the other thinner girl, “Hello man. I'm Amethyst. Nice to meet ya!” 

Peridot stared at the extended hand before her. She didn't have time for greetings like this. Their next competition was in a week and this girl needed to learn her drill and music! “Yeah, I heard. My name is Peridot and I don't have time to chit chat right now. We have a comp upcoming and you better not goof off!” She explained. “Now come on. Let me see your drill.”

“Oh.” Murmured the other girl, pulling the two sheets out of her flip folder. “Here.” 

“Okay,” began Peridot. “Now let me see you sight read this! I'll give you the tempo!” She then started to clap at an even tempo of 115 beats. She watched as the girl fumbled to wet her reed, put her sax together and set up her flip folder. Once ready, she began to sight read and Peridot was ready for the mess it would be.

She was surprised though. The sight reading wasn't a terrible mess. It was actually pretty good. Her tone sounded well and all the rhythms were right. She stumbled a little with the ritardandos but found the correct tempo afterwards. She played with such intensity, as if she was trying to impress Peridot, which honestly, she sort of was. This ruffled Peridot's feathers a little at how good this girl seemed to be. 

She came to a finish and the release rang and they noticed that they caught the attention of the other people on the court practicing. They were all quiet before they all started cheering. “Wow! You're amazing! That was your sight reading? You're the perfect partner for Lil’ Dottie.” Jade threw her a thumbs up and the new girl blushed but threw one right back at her. 

Peridot looked back at the girl who was now looking back at her with the craving of approval in her eyes. “Okay… That was good but how about you follow the dynamics this time?” She lied. Amethyst's volume and attacks had been mostly spot on. The shorter girl shot her a nasty look before she nodded at her. 

This was not what Peridot expected. She hasn't expected Jason's replacement to be better than him. She could let Amethyst get out control and grow a big head. She could also smell that she smelled lightly of weed. Oh lord. She rolled her eyes at the thought of any sort of smoking and huffed. 

She couldn't let this girl badly influence her band friends. And most importantly, she couldn't let this girl take her place as most valuable sophomore.


	2. Drill Setting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Informational filler. Peridot gets a new lab partner and she is assigned to help Amethyst set drill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a filler, tbh. It's important but short. I am anxious to get passed the introductions and get towards the cool stuff that I've already written. Likely will edit the whole story later once I'm bored or finished.

Flabbergasted was never a word Peridot liked to use but it was the only choice word to describe. Peridot felt absolutely _flabbergasted_ when she walked into her AP Chemistry class the next day after she had met her new duet partner. A few minutes after the bell rang, she saw a somewhat familiar face walk in and to the teachers desk. 

The two talked for a while and Peridot looked around and realized there were only two empty seats in the the class. It would've been empty had it been later in the year because a lot of people tended to drop the class once it got too hard, but it was fuller than ever in this moment. 

Thinking quick, Peridot grabbed her backpack and pulled the desk slightly closer to her, hoping that Ms. Gutierrez wouldn't notice, but she wasn't paying attention to what it looked like, she was looking at her seating chart. She was moving her mouth to Amethyst but she couldn't make out what was being said. 

Then she saw her teacher point to her left side and Amethyst started making her way. Somehow, she hoped that she would just stop before getting to Peridot's aisle, but she didn't. She turned and jumped over the bar, landing in her seat and she dropped down her backpack. The majority of the class were staring at her. 

The teacher didn't often do introductions to new students, so she just told Peridot that she'll be her new lab partner year long and she will no longer have the opportunity to work alone and began to project the notes they were taking on ionic compounds. Amethyst pulled out a thick three subject notebook, which is what was suggested for the class and a pack of pens and other school supplies. 

Peridot wrote relatively small and detailed. Most of her writing was in black pen or pencil, but when notes took people two pages, she finished with half a page left. Whereas, from what she could see, Amethyst's notes were sloppy and colorful, taking up much space. Once finished, they were instructed that they were free to do as they pleased, though they should review and edit their notes. 

With a quiet sigh, Peridot turned to face her new partner. Examining her silently. The girl had been in her class for only about a month, starting in October. She heard her name was Amethyst. She was tan and had lilac dyed hair and a silver lip piercing. She was wearing black leggings, which showed off her large hips, and her shirt was a loose fitting shirt with some sort of character crying on it. What an odd design. 

“Um yo.” Her partner spoke, “Peridot? You have the clarinet solo? What's up?” She said, smiling at her. “I'm Amethyst, the new _saxy_ alto though I shouldn't need any introduction.” She paused to snicker at her own joke, “So, what's good?”

This made the thin girl snap out her thoughts. “Yes, it's Peridot. I am in the early college program and I take this very seriously, so I recommend you don't slack off. I don't work for someone else so if you decide you don't want to work then that's you're problem. I have seen the way you talk to some of the people in our marching band and I don't like the smoking or your attitude.”

“Oh,” began Amethyst. “You're a nerd, huh?”

Peridot growled, “Caring about your grades and not wanting to be flipping burgers for a living doesn't make me a ‘nerd’. I wouldn't assume you're a punk based on your behavior and appearance so I would greatly appreciate it if you didn't make assumptions about me. I don't appreciate being called that and only my girlfriend can call me a nerd, and it that case it's endearing.” She huffed crossing her arms across her chest. 

“But I am a little bit of punk mixed with indie and hippie. I acknowledge it. And aren't you a nerd? I mean, you're super smart, right? And you have glasses and braces and your inhaler is sitting on your desk. Aren't you also into video games and comics? I mean you're shirt kind of says that. You _scream_ nerd. But it's fine, I mean, your style is your style.” She shrugged. 

“But it's cool that were in marching band together."

“I don't hang out with smokers or punks. It was just a fluke that you got a spot because Jason happened to move! So don't get cocky. We were desperate.”

Amethyst averted her eyes, “Chill, girl. Why are you being so cruel? You just met me yesterday, do you know anything about me?”

“No, and I don't intend to. You don't fit in with my team. They're my family. So don't influence them negatively, okay?” Peridot scoffed at her.

“Whatever, nerd. I'm not a slacker, though. Why do you think I'm in this AP class as a sophomore. Usually they take bio in sophomore year.” She said casually and not at all trying to seem like she was trying to surprise her partner. 

“Fine. Just don't act like an imbecile and we'll be okay. Okay?” She sighed. 

“Sure thing, Peri.” Amethyst shrugged, “I can prove you wrong. And for your health, please stop being so uptight.”

“I am NOT uptight.” Peridot defended herself quickly. “And it's Peridot, not Peri.”

“Eh, I like Peri more.” Was the last non-work thing that was said that class. Peridot had planned to ignore her the rest of the day but then at marching band rehearsal the day after, it was clear she couldn't do that. 

“Hey Peridot! Can you move over to the baseball field to help Amethyst set her drill? I think the drill should be finished first, the solo already sounds fine.” Mr. A said and shooed both the girls away from the rest of the ensemble. 

Peridot growled but led Amethyst to the empty, old baseball field. It was hardly used anymore, but occasionally the softball team would have their games there when the actual baseball team had the newer field. But, it wasn't their season, so it hasn't been used much since May.

“I don't know why I have to spend my precious time showing you your drill because you can't just go and learn it. But I do want this show to be good, so I'll begrudgingly show you the steps.” Peridot clasped her hand together. “So! I know we should be starting drill but I think basics are super important before anything. But of course, we need to get you warmed up, so uh, let's start.”

Clearly Peridot hadn't worked completely one on one with anyone, but she had to start somewhere, if she wanted to be drum major ever. She instructed Amethyst to follow her lead as she dropped down to the floor and began with leg stretches such as toe touches, butterflies, then she began doing plank push ups. Once they were all sweaty and stretched, Peridot jumped to her feet. 

“Okay! Can you march a basic 8-5 block for me, please?” She asked, pointed to what line Amethyst was to start on. Amethyst moved over to the fifty yard line. She already knew what to do. Peridot began clapping a steady rhythm, “Band, ten hut!” 

Amethyst was not at all surprised by the call of attention, she'd spent a lot of her time in marching band at her old school her freshman year and had been trained so that when she heard repeated clapping, her instinct was to jump to attention. Keeping hold of her sax, she kept her heels together but not her toes and kept a traditional pose. “Hut!” She exclaimed, perhaps a little too enthusiastic. 

“Oh. Nice!” Peridot was somewhat caught off guard that Amethyst didn't miss a beat, but alas she sustained her pulse. “Mark time, mark-” Amethyst's foot came up perfectly in time, “Push!” She said aloud while Amethyst kept on marching, counting each step and occasionally saying which foot. 

Once they finished, the five yards, Peridot was beyond more impressed than she'd like to admit. “Well, that was pretty good, but you need to keep a straight leg. But since you're limited on time, I think we should just go straight into setting drill, then next week we can concentrate on working with the group and music.” 

By the end of the rehearsal, the band ran the first movement and Amethyst was able to run three-quarters of it. Peridot was ashamed to admit but for someone who acts like her, she may have misjudged her duet partner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What'd ya think?? I continue??? Yes? Also mi Tumblr is justadapperbowtie.tumblr.com lmao. Criticize me or whatever. Anyway I swear if I continue it'll get better. Whatcha think?


	3. Power Imbalence?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idk it started out but lost my motivation half way but it starting to get so exciting to write.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol, I'm not quite sure where I'm going with dis? What y'all think should happen?

Ever since Amethyst came they've been forced to spend a lot of time with each other, due to their band director insisting they do. Amethyst had no complaints. If she was being honest, so found it rather amusing when she would hang out or be around her. Peridot always said the most funny things, without even realizing it. She was also good at helping her understand things better, somehow, but she learned more with her than with their teachers. It was just a bonus that Peridot was the cutest nerd she's ever met. The way she felt about things and the way she blushed at the smallest things made her adorkable. 

Peridot, however, had a few complaints about Amethyst. While she did prove that she did clearly care somewhat, she wouldn't be serious or focused for too long of periods, always cracking a joke or laughing at something she said. Also, Amethyst tended to get close and say somewhat lewd comments or things that just made her uncomfortable. In addition to that, she also spent almost all the time she could talking to her, and Peridot being rather introverted, she felt the need for some space. Regardless of that, she learned to deal with her and even laugh a little with her. 

They were sitting in their science class when they had a really interesting conversation, leading more about each other. 

They had finished peer editing their notes and gotten them check off, there were still twenty minutes left of the class period since the notes have been relatively short. Amethyst pulled out her phone and began reply to people, watching other's stories on Snapchat, and scrolling through Tumblr. 

“Hey Peri,” She said as she was opening Snaps, “You got a Snapchat?” She then realized she didn't have the little nerd added on anything, except for the combined group chat for marching band they had on Messenger, but even then she didn't have her added on actual Facebook, not even having her number. 

Peridot looked up from her perfected notes and narrowed her eyes. “I’ve told you, it's not Peri, it's Peridot.” She huffed, “But yes, I do, would you like me to present you with my username?” Amethyst nodded and passed her phone to her so she could enter it. Once finished, Amethyst sat back in her chair. 

“Give me your number, too, we need to keep in constant contact since our duets have to be in sync.” Peridot begrudgingly did that as well, putting her formal name as Peridot Madan.

“Sweet! So, you know, we haven't talked much about our personal lives, it's always just been talking about music or drill or random stuff. I wanna get to know you. Who is Peri? Other than a cute nerd.” Amethyst posed the question nonchalantly. 

Peridot had a full blush on her face but pestered on, “There’s not much to know about me.” She pulled out her own cell phone while still speaking, “Majority of my time is spent in band or working on my school work.” She didn't know what else to say. She didn't do introductions. 

She saw Jasper had texted her and she entered Messenger to reply. Jasper had sent her a text that read ‘Missing you’ with a frowning emoticon and a very sad looking sticker of some kind of cartoon character. Peridot replied with ‘You just saw me 30 minutes ago’, but still smiling to herself. She loved feeling missed, no one except for her spent too much time with her.

“Aw, come on! That can't be all! I'm sure there's more interesting things about you!” Amethyst would've felt pity if that's seriously all Peridot did. She scooted her seat towards Peridot’s, slugged her arm around her shoulders and pulled her as close as she could. Peridot blushed and squirmed, her phone held tightly in her hands. That's when Amethyst caught sight of the name Jasper and one little heart emoji. “Ohhh,” Her voice was now a suggestive tone, “A heart. How interesting.” 

Peridot's faded blush returned, darkened, and she hastily pulled away from her lab partner. “Yeah? What about it?” 

“Are you and this Jasper dating? Or do you just have a little crush on the guy?” Amethyst wiggled her eyebrows, hoping to get a rise out of the stern girl. 

“What on Earth are you talking about?” Peridot raised an eyebrow critically. “Yes, Jasper and I are dating. We've been dating for almost a year, in three weeks. _She_ always walks with me and hangs out with me, how have you not seen her?” Peridot made it a point to enunciate the female pronoun. She was also confused on how Amethyst had been so clueless to her relationship when everyone else in the school seemed to know. 

“Wait, for real?” Amethyst said with wide eyes. She barely caught onto the female pronouns. “Are they a huge dork too?” 

Peridot growled, her temper quickly lowered. “What a rude assumption! _She_ happens to be the quarterback for the football team! She's a junior and she's not a dork!” She squaked, but then her voice lowered, “Unless she's with me, but…” She admitted, rubbing the back of her neck. Jasper always tended to become a romantic dork around her. 

“Oh wow, Peri!” Amethyst exclaimed, “So you have been laid! Then why are you still so uptight?” That comment made Peridot the most flustered she's ever been and she hurriedly shushed her and covered Amethyst's mouth so she would not say more. Amethyst just liked her hand and Peridot jumped back with a squeak and she tried to fix herself in a dignified manner. “So. Tell me about this _amazing_ Jasper.”

Peridot was staring at her phone, recovering from the embarrassment of Amethyst's joke, until she spoke up. “Well. Jasper's great. We spend a lot of time together at football games and she drives me to school everyday. We met at a football game, towards the end of the season…” There was a certain twinkle in her green eyes. “She kind of, uh,” She didn't really know how to explain it. “There was an accident between us.”

“What sort of accident?” This time it was Amethyst who raised her eyebrow. 

“Well.” Peridot squirmed. “It was kind of weird, but she was running and we bumped into each other. I actually got really hurt from it, because her muscles and the mass and I was thinner then than I am now. She was also carrying a backpack full of equipment for the other guys.” She reminisced the accident and how before, she had been so ready to not run into any of the players. Who would've thought that that event would lead to her meeting the person she loves the most? “I had to go to the hospital. She felt really bad and visited me and we just blossomed from then, until she asked me out and I said yes.” 

Amethyst felt an odd sensation in her chest at seeing how cute Peridot was when talking about her girlfriend. She imagined Peridot with a big, bulky football player and laughed to herself. Peridot was a pretty big nerd, whereas her girlfriend was likely well known and well liked. _Popular,_ if you would. For some reason, she felt weird imagining Peridot with a jock. “Oh really? How bad was the damage she did?” 

She saw Peridot move her right leg away and she touched it subconsciously, but she decided to ignore it. Peridot shrugged, “It wasn't really too bad. Just a few scratches and such.” That was half a lie. “She took care of me though and out of that horrific hospital stay, I got her and I think it's all okay.” 

“Aw, you're so lovestruck!” Amethyst pointed at her cheek and laughed. “Wait.” She stopped and realized something. “You're gay?” She asked incredulously. 

Peridot was half annoyed at the comment. “I'm obviously not hetero. So, yes, I'm pretty homo.” She pursed her lips, hoping that Amethyst we wouldn't have a bad reaction after realizing it. “Why? Is that a _problem?”_

Amethyst was quick to shake her head in disagreement. “No!” She hoped she hadn't been too far in asking. “I just thought you were straight or at least into dudes. But that's cool, I'm gayer than gay, so it ain't a problemo.” 

“Oh. Okay.” Peridot thought it over to herself. “Do you have a girlfriend?” 

“Nah. Homegirl, I'm a loose canon! I can't be tamed by any girl or anybody for that matter!” Amethyst brushed it off, her shoulders lifted in a shrug. "Ain't nobody can handle me. And imagine how tragic it would be if I were off the market. Imagine how many girls would hang their heads in the hands and cry out of me! Psh, girlfriend, _please._ ”

“As if.” Peridot rolled her green eyes. “Besides, being tied to one person isn't bad. I love Jasper and she loves me and she chooses me over everybody that wants her and it feels pretty amazing. She makes me feel safe. It's because of her no one likes to pick on me anymore or dares to treat me like garbage. I can argue that there are _many_ benefits to having a girlfriend.”

The shorter girl leaned back in her chair. “She stops others from picking on you? Isn't that kind of…?” She trailed off and narrowed her eyes, making Peridot frustrated. 

“Kind of _what?”_

“I mean, no offense, man, but isn't it sort of a power imbalance?” Amethyst suddenly sat up straighter in her desk, rushing to get her thoughts out before Peridot exploded on her on why she was wrong, which judging by her face, she was about to. “She’s a football player and you're in the marching band. She's, I’m assuming, popular and absolutely no shade but you're not. You're, you know, a nerd. If she wanted to, couldn't she just set people after you? Isn't she more in authority in your guys’ relationship?”

“Absolutely not!” Peridot jumped right after Amethyst had finished her last statement. “You think either her or I care about social status? No! We care about each other as people. There's no _power imbalance_ that you speak of.” 

With a outtake of breath, Amethyst rolled her eyes. “Calm down. I just wanted to make sure that wasn't happening and that you're okay in the relationship. It's something I commonly see. Didn't mean to make you angry.”

Peridot was in a sour mood for the few minutes they had left of class, turning completely in her seat, texting away at Jasper. How dare someone like _her_ question a love like theirs. Never in her life had she felt so special being with someone. Never in her life had she felt as normal as she did with Jasper, she didn't feel like a burden or a loser. She felt like Peridot. A thought spread across her mind that she felt like herself with Amethyst, only it was different. She couldn't wait to see Jasper after class. This whole topic of conversation was playing through her mind while the minutes seemed too slow.

Finally, the bell rang announcing five minutes to get to their next period. Peridot saw in the corner of her eye, Amethyst had her things packed up and ready to go but she was still seated. She appeared to be playing a video game. Rising from her seat and slinging her bag over her shoulder and turning around to head towards the door, when Jasper decided to enter the class for herself. 

Peridot couldn't help the grin that appeared on her face at seeing her girlfriend's excitement. Her girlfriend rushed towards her and embraced her in an arm crushing hug. Why she was in such a good and cheery mood, Peridot didn't know. 

“Babe! I missed you! And two months we will have been dating for a year!” Jasper was so cute when she got excited over little things, especially when they were romantic things. Jasper may act very tough and is like that on the field, but in reality she was a huge goofball. 

Peridot looked up at her tall girlfriend. Had it really almost been a year? It almost felt so short and long at the same time. Either way, it was surely the happiest and carefree she's been, even when they were on and off. “You just saw me an hour ago. But I missed you too.” Then, the three minute warning went off, and Peridot realized they were both in her past period. She removed herself from her lover's warm embrace and grabbed at her hand instead and began to lead her to the door.

Jasper happily followed and she always fell in love with how their hands were very different sizes and yet they felt so right in each other's. She then began telling a story of what happened in her last class and the gossip and such that she always heard, being a part of the _popular_ clique. 

Peridot didn't miss in her peripheral vision Amethyst staring at them with the widest eyes, forgetting her video game. 

  
. 

Peridot and Jasper were just having a casual day at Peridot's house. Practice for both of them had been canceled because there was a big thunderstorm. Also because it was Wednesday which was optional practice days and often there were about five-ten people who went, so they got an email saying their director wouldn't be there. 

Jasper had her arms tightly wrapped around Peridot's chest and her head was nuzzled against Peridot's neck, where she was leaving soft, gentle kisses. Peridot felt so contented that she wanted to stay here forever and was holding onto her bulkier girlfriend's hand. There were a multitude of different thoughts floating through her mind but it was getting increasingly harder to concentrate on anything but Jasper add her kisses got rougher and more intense. 

Reluctantly, Peridot pulled away and turn so she would be facing her girlfriend. Jasper groaned in protest but smiled when Peridot caught her gaze. Peridot had her glasses off and her eyes looked greener than ever. She leaned up so she was even with Jasper and placed her lips onto hers. They stayed like that for a while, just kissing in place until Jasper grabbed Peridot and moved her on top of her. 

Pulling away, Peridot shook her head and stared down at Jasper. “I’m not in the mood. I thought we could just kiss… And talk.”

This made Jasper incredibly nervous and she wasn't quite sure why because she didn't think she had done anything bad recently but who knows. She shook her head, “What's wrong?”

“Nothing's wrong, not really but…” Peridot really didn't know how to bring this up. “We're very different, you know? But in the sense that people like _you_ but nobody really likes me.” She looked quite uncomfortable with herself, sitting up on Jasper's lap, her hands pressed against her upper body.

Jasper's heart broke at how small and vulnerable Peridot suddenly became. “What?! Baby, you're the most amazing person I've met. There's nobody like you! _I_ like you, I don't care about who likes me as long as you like me and you shouldn't as long as I like you.”

This didn't make Peridot feel better, however. She sighed and shook her head once more, “You don't get it. I want to be like by others.” She pushed herself off of the buff girl and went back to laying at her side, curling in on herself. “I seek approval.”

Jasper wasn't actually very good at talking to anyone about social or popularity status because it always came natural to her. Everyone always seemed to be so into her and she hadn't needed to prove herself to anyone. “But people do like you. More people than you think.” 

There was a silence that followed them, quite uncomfortable silence at that, but then Peridot's quiet voice spoke up. “I want your friends to like me. Take me to one of their parties and I can prove myself to them there.” 

The request was extremely unusual. Peridot always treated Jasper with disdain when she told her she was going to a party and even more so when Jasper had gotten involved in underaged drinking at these get together. But she seemed serious, like she actually wanted to go out and hang with them. When Jasper began to protest, Peridot stopped at her. 

“Stop! I want to go. Just tell me when and I'll be there.” 

Jasper pulled her girlfriend into her arms. “Okay, P. As long as it makes you happy and you feel comfortable with it.” She breathed against Peridot's ear, sending a shiver down the smaller girl's spine and once more started kissing her girlfriend's neck. Honestly, while Peridot was getting somewhat into the kisses, she'd rather have a nice, sweet moment of cuddles and naps with her girlfriend. So Peridot just laid there while she drifted off to sleep, her stress of what this party will be like and what she'll be exposed to making her fall asleep faster. 

Jasper noticed when Peridot's breathing become quieter, she pulled her lips away and stared down at the large red mark on her skin, then to her peaceful sleeping face. She felt contented and happy, with a pang of worry filling her heart until she drifted to sleep as well. 

  


Later that night, when Peridot woke up, it was 11:36PM and Jasper was no longer wrapped her, or even in sight. She groaned with a sleep filling voice and brought her phone to herself at a leisurely pace. 

She had two texts and a few Facebook notifications. One was at 10 from Jasper and it was her explaining that she went back to get house because she needed to finish homework and get sleep for the away game they had during that school day. The other, shockingly enough, was from an unknown number and it read: _Hey nerd. You're girlfriend's so buff._ with a bunch of emojis at the end. Peridot didn't need a contact name, she knew it had to be Amethyst. Typing out a quick reply she closed her messages and went to Facebook and was scrolling through her news feed, when Amethyst's reply came.

_Haha, can't wait to see you at school tomorrow. I wanna show you something._

Peridot let herself ponder for a second what it might be, but eventually went back to Facebook and saw a new notification. It was a friend request. 

__Friend request from Amethyst Garcia. Confirm or Delete?

Though she tried not to think of the request too much, she clicked accept and couldn't stop her smied when she read what it said next. 

_You are now friends with Amethyst Garcia._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed and if ya didn't, let me know why! Thanks!


	4. Be Like The Cool Kids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper finally brings Peridot to one of her friend's party. Peridot has an experience.
> 
> https://youtu.be/SSCzDykng4g 
> 
> Cool Kids - Echosmith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Underaged drinking, Sexual references 
> 
> So! Before you read, be known that this chapter is EXTREMELY OUT OF CHARACTER. I also do not agree with the way Lil Peri is acting. I considered just butchering this chapter all together but I think it adds depth into how Peridot feels about being a nerd and not being traditionally cool and dating a popular, cool kid. VERY SLIGHT Amedot in this, but they're mostly acting platonic. JASPIDOT CENTERED chapter, because it's Peridot's point of view.

Today was the day. Peridot was going to her very first popular kids high school party. Jasper had texted her that she would be there at Peridot's house to pick her up and that she'd be there in half an hour and while Peridot was already ready, she was pacing back and forth, nervously. She had spent a lot of time preparing herself for this day and used countless hours of precious time worrying about it. What if it was too much? What if even with Jasper there, she got made fun of? 

Tonight, she was wearing something she thought was somewhat different from her typical style. She was wearing a very tight pair of high waisted green skinny jeans, which were tight around the hips but too baggy at the calves, and a typical black Marvel crop top and combat boots. Her hair was in a simple messy bun and her bangs were being held back by a green headband. She had originally planned on wearing her contacts but she realized she didn't have any pairs left from the last time she had worn them and so she had to result to her regular, plain glasses. A light layer of foundation and contour was covering her face, as well as mascara and red lipstick. Although she wasn't very good at makeup, she had hoped it came out okay. Hopefully she had succeeded in making herself look less dorky and more of someone who looks like they should be dating Jasper. 

Grabbing at her Ice Breakers package, she ran down the stairs when she heard the doorbell ring and received a text from Jasper saying she was outside. Running past the living room in a flash and screaming out to her parents that Jasper would take her home and she be back later, she rushed out the door and even past Jasper to her car. She didn't want to be seen dress liked this by her parents. Jasper just turned to her and laughed, walking to the driver's seat and they both jumped into the truck and began driving away. 

“So,” Jasper began, letting one hand off the steering wheel and onto Peridot's left thigh. “You look different. Why?” She turned for a second, to glance at her girlfriend and then her eyes went back to the road. 

With a short laugh, Peridot beamed at her girlfriend, showing off her metal braces. “I'm just looking _cool_. Do you think the others will like it?” She questioned tentatively, playing with her hands in anticipation. “Or am I overdressed? Oh my, I don't want to be an embarrassment.” Blushing, she covered her face in her hands. 

“Babe, you seriously need to chill out. You look great and you'd look great if you wore your usual style. They'll like you, I'm sure. But don't change yourself.” Jasper moved her hand closer up on Peridot's thigh and she freaked out. 

“Okay, J.” She grabbed her large hand and kissed the back of it. “Thank you again for bringing me. I'll thank you more later.” 

.

When they arrived at the party and we're pulled inside, Peridot didn't miss the look the spunky cheerleader, Jes, she believed, gave her and the fake enthusiasm she had, saying ‘Oh.. What a surprise, great to see you Peridot.’ Still, she decided to try and ignore it so it wouldn't spoil her mood and the party for herself. Walking in, the lights were dimmed and there were string lights all around the walls. Many people she hasn't seen before were there, but some she recognized as Jasper's teammates. Some she had been added on Facebook, even though she only knew their faces and not who they were. She saw a few couples here and there making out against wall. Jasper walked over to get her linebacker, Peridot clinging to her arm.

“Hey Jake! What's up, my bro?” 

The man- Jake, was a tall black man. He appeared to be lean but very muscular at the same time. He was wearing his football jersey and a hood with some jeans. Peridot had met him a few times. “Everything good, my man!” Jake laughed and Peridot looked back and forth between her girlfriend and Jake, not knowing what he was amused by and becoming concerned. Jake then noticed the small girl and he feigned shock. “Peridot? Little ole Peridot, is that you?”

A pink blush rose on her cheeks and she smiled shyly, pulling Jasper closer. “It's a pleasure to see you again, Jake. How are you doing?”

Jake patted the top of Peridot's head (a secret pet peeve of hers) and his laugh returned, filling the area with sound. “I’m great, girl. Wow! Has it been this long since I saw you? You look hot!>” The blushed darkened to a cherry red and she nuzzled Jasper's arm, mumbling a thanks. “Jasper might have to be careful!” He jokingly winked to Jasper and she returned the joke by punching him playfully. They stayed there for a while, just talking and catching up when Jake said he needed to venture off elsewhere.  
This continued on for the first hour they were there, Peridot clutching onto Jasper and Jasper just going wherever she spotted her friends. The music gradually became louder and louder and Jasper stopped walking around and pulled Peridot so they were facing each other. “Let's dance.”

Peridot stared blankly. “I don't really know how to dance here.” 

“Just do what feels right.” Jasper felt the tempo and began with her moves. She seemed to be following what the other people were doing, stealing their techniques and moves. 

Hoping she would do this right, Peridot began moving her body, always knowing exactly how many beats per minute was for this song from one listen. From the few videos she had watched online about party and club dancing, it was about your body (and your hair but she didn't have that much to find around anyway). Starting with her hips, she swayed them to the music. Her shoulders followed and there was also a lot of bending her knees and feeling herself. Though awkward at the start, she eventually got the hang of it and began trying to enjoy herself. 

So they danced with each other. Jasper pulled Peridot by the waist and turned her around. The blonde's eyes widened and she turned her head around when she felt Jasper's crotch pressed to her butt. With a quick scan against the room, she suddenly felt uncomfortable with the few eyes watching her. The huge hands that were roaming before now moved up to her chest and cupped breasts and a squeak came out from the smaller girl's mouth. The stares started to pile up. 

With some force, Peridot pulled away, not wanting to show such a public display of affection in front of all these strangers. “I have to urinate.” She announced to the talltall girl and rapidly scurried off to find the bathroom. It was located and she went in and just stared at her reflection. “You had fun dancing. Why can't you do that kind of dancing?” She questioned herself. Feeling her chest tighten, she took deep breaths to calm herself. This was what would make everyone think she was cool. In the back of her mind, a little voice shouted to her, _’Since when did you start caring about social status and what anyone thinks of you?’_. Deciding to ignore it, she washed her hands, fixed her hair a little and reapplied the red lipstick. 

When she ventured back into the room, she saw that someone was trying to turn down the music a little. The hostess of this party, Jes, was moving to the center of the room and climbed onto the coffee table. “Hey guys! I set up a drinking game out in the kitchen! Don't be a prick and let's go!” She cheered and the majority other party goers followed her to the kitchen. Jasper was nowhere in sight and Peridot felt herself sweating with anxiety. Assuming she had gone to the kitchen (and feeling annoyed that she did want to play a drinking game), she joined the rest of the group of irresponsible teens and located her girlfriend. 

It was soon discovered that Peridot was no better than any of the rest of irresponsible teenagers. Jes had been doing over the rules, setting up shots of what seemed to be a flavored vodka and Rumchata. It was just a version of Never Have I Ever, where everyone was crowded around the kitchen table. They were all given a shot in front of. them, alternating between the clear and white liquid. Jasper looked at her girlfriend to tell her that she didn't need to do this if it made her uncomfortable but before she could even open her mouth, Peridot knew what was coming. “I know. I think this is a useless and unnecessary activity but I am simply ‘going with the flow’.” After that, the game began and the lewd questions began. 

When it came to Peridot, she didn't know what to say and she stuttered nervously. “Never have I ever dated a boy.” It came out more like a question, wondering if she had asked an appropriate question and while the others were thrown off by the clean inquiry, girls there all took a shot, including Jasper, to her surprise.

Jes leaned in to her friend who was next to go and the other girl grinned. “Never have I ever seen Jasper naked.” Jasper furrowed her brows and narrowed her eyes to the girl. Peridot on the other hand looked confused at the prompt but grabbed her untouched shot glass full of clear liquid and threw it down her throat. It was weird, feeling a burn but she didn't dislike the taste. It tasted almost like caramel. Still, she mentally apologized to her parents. She looked back up and didn't expect anyone to drink. That wasn't what happened, however. Almost half of the people there snickered and took a shot of a liquid, including Jes. Jasper rubbed her temples and groaned, avoiding the glare that Peridot was shooting her. 

It was now Jes’ actual turn and she had a malicious grin and ignored Jasper's now warning eyes. “Never have I ever had sex with _Jasper._ ” It hung around the heavy room and Peridot blushed, scooting closer to her girlfriend as an instinct when she was uncomfortable. Though relieved that no one else took a shot, it still felt heavy in the air. 

Jes laughed hysterically. “Oh Peridot! Are you confused? You're supposed to drink if you _have!_ ” When no one made to move, Jes’ laughter grew. “Oh, I guess you _haven't._ What a waste of good meat.” 

This made the rest of the room fill with tension. Jasper growled and grinded her teeth. “Jes, don't act like this.” An arm wrapped around Peridot's slumped shoulders and she just stared down in front of her next shot. She was the only one who had one shot and only one. 

Jes suddenly stopped her laughter and looked like she wanted to hurt Jasper badly. “Act like _what?!_ ” She spat out. “Why did you bring _her_ here?” 

Peridot didn't say much but she stood up from the chair she was sitting in and smiled at Jes. “Don't worry, I take more pleasure in making sure my girlfriend is happy with who I am as a person and not what my body looks like. I can see why you'd value sexual activities so much, though, since you're personality is inadequate and I doubt anybody would be satisfied with who you are.” She grabbed a shot from the middle of the table and took it straight, feeling the burn of her throat. Walking away from the whole group and leaving Jes speechless and offended, she went to the staircase and sat on one of the steps. 

She had time for self evaluation. What was she doing? Why was she even here? She couldn't stand being with most of the people at this get together and the thought of underaged drinking had always made her uncomfortable and annoyed at how useless it was but here she was, being a complete hypocrite. And she didn't even hate the taste. It was a good shot. Did she really care so much about the approval of others that she was willing to completely lose who she was?

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard heavy footsteps and saw Jasper walk to the stairs and sat next to her. She reached her arms out to her and Peridot just fell into them, holding her tight and not saying a word. Even when they pulled away, they sat, hips side by side and holding one another's hand. It must've been at least ten minutes of them just being there, just existing. 

“Why do you care so much?” Jasper started up, her eyes full of concern. She played with Peridot's fingers while she waited for an answer.

Not really knowing how to explain it, Peridot rested her head against Jasper's shoulder and let the rambling begin. “I don't really know. I've just never been liked by too many people and I've never cared that much until we started dating and I saw how differently people treated you compared to me and I just feel this sudden need for acceptance.” 

Jasper nodded in understanding and pressed a kiss to Peridot's foreheadforehead. They stayed quiet again and Jasper was the first to talk, again. “If people don't like you, they're insane. Who'd want to miss out on a funny, cute little dork like you?” She moved her other hand that wasn't held by Peridot's and cupped her cheek. “Do you want to go home?”

After some consideration, Peridot shook her head and offered a weak smile, pulling and turning towards Jasper. “No. It's okay. It was pretty entertaining until that. Go have fun with your friends and I can meet some new people.” Jasper gave peridot a tight hug and kissed her forehead again, before leaving Peridot alone. 

There she stayed, just sitting, resting her head against her knees. Her head hurt from all the constant thinking. She almost fell asleep when a different person approached her this time. She looked up and examined the boy, a skinny, tall male. He shot her a cocky smile and bent down to be closer to her face. 

“Hey. Aren't you Peridot? It was sick what you said to Jes. She can be a huge bitch sometimes.” The man said. “I'm Jonathan, her brother.”

Peridot just stared. “Salutations.” Was the only sound that came out of her. 

He looked around nervously. “I brought some shots of some flavored vodka and Rumchata. I don't know if you'd like it, though. You looked like you needed one.” He held the shots he brought out to her and she stared down at it before taking two glasses into her own hands. 

“Though I do not understand why one would _need_ alcohol, I appreciate the gesture, stranger. Er, Jonathan.” She did her best to not offend the man and offered a slight smile. 

“Haha, it's not a problem.” He laughed, waving his hand. “Though if you ever want to, you know, _date_ a boy, I'm available.”

Suddenly the gesture felt less sincere but she beat on. “I am a one hundred percent lesbian, but okay?” She wasn't really sure how to formulate a good response. He apologized but said it's still on the table if she ever gets curious and wished her well. 

She stared down at the liquid before chugging it down. It was a rather big shot. The flavor of the rumchata was still confusing to her as she tried to figure out what the flavor combinations were. And though it was a sweet liquor, she winced at the burn down her throat and then followed it with what tasted like a different kind of flavored vodka. Almost tasted like cherry. Her vision slowly became more distorted and when she stood up to move, she felt dizzy. Walking outside, she grabbed her phone and dialed a certain someone to pick her up, because she had been bored for a while. She wasn't paying much attention to who she called. 

_Hello? Peridot? It's almost midnight, what do you need?_ Apparently it was Amethyst she had called. 

“Amethyst?” Peridot let out an unexpected belch. “It's Peridot, but you already know that.” She paused and giggled before continuing. “Can you come pick me up? I may not be thinking straight but I'm not going to put other drivers in danger by driving myself home.” 

_Wait what? Peri, are you okay? Where are you? Text me the address and I'll be right over._ The was a lot of rustling on the other line.

“Okay.” Peridot responded and subconsciously found the address Jasper had texted to her and forwarded it to Amethyst. Amethyst made a noise when she received it and told Peridot to stay on the line and stay where she was.

. 

Amethyst started the car once Peridot buckled up her seat belt. She was giggling since she jumped into the car, nonstop and Amethyst laughed with her nervously, not really knowing what was so funny. 

“So.” Amethyst said uncertainly. “What happened here?” She pulled out of the driveway of the house. 

Peridot whined and rested her head against the window, looking out uncomfortably. “Why do you people always try to be in constant communication?” She made a point to whine again before speaking. “It was just a typical teenager party. Nothing out of the ordinary.”

“Right.” Amethyst said sarcastically. “You getting drunk and going to a party totally isn't out the ordinary. You're right.” She gripped the wheel tighter in frustration. 

“Are you insinuating that I do not engage in typical high school activities in the name of ‘fun’?” Peridot crossed her arms and gave Amethyst a haughty look. 

The lilac haired girl let one of her hands run through her hair, the other still tightly kept on the wheel. “It just seems un-Peri like.” 

“There's a lot you don't know about me.” Peridot laughed loudly and ended the conversation at that. 

.

Peridot was surprised when Amethyst had taken her to a location that wasn't familiar with her. Amethyst seemed to know it pretty well, though, so it was probably correct to assume it was where she lived. She hasn't expected to come here, but then she realized she never told Amethyst her address. 

“Where are we? Why are we here? What is this mysterious place?!” Peridot quickly freaked out, as she was not quite herself, observing the garden of the house and noticing the bright purple and yellow flowers, as well as some dark red rose bushes. 

“Do you want to go home to your parents while you're buzzed?” Amethyst replied with a sarcastic bite and moved to open the door to get house while she locked her car. “And you never gave me your address anyhow.” 

Peridot was going to argue, but then realized the first point had been a smart one. Her parents weren't too fond of the idea of drinking and smoking underaged in general and said if she were to, they'd prefer she do it in the house. And they always saw her as their smart little Indian daughter who always did what was right. And right now, she didn't do what was right in this case. 

Amethyst had opened the door by this time and urged Peridot to follow her. It was a one story house and Amethyst brought her into her cozy room. It was clean and boxes were littered on the floor, assuming it was from her recent move here, Peridot said nothing about it and just stood behind while Amethyst sat on her bed, sighing. 

“You can stay here. Do you want to sleep on the bed or are you okay with the couch over there?” She pointed at big lounge cushion in front of her. 

Peridot blushed, her mind still not working quite right due to the alcohol, making her response awkward. “I have a girlfriend?” She hasn't realized Amethyst meant she could sleep on the bed alone and they won't share it. 

“Oh...Kay?” Amethyst said, taking slight offense. “You can have the couch then. Wait here, I can go look for a blanket or something.” She got up and left out the door. 

Peridot was left alone now. This situation was ludicrous to her. She thought she wasn't fond of Amethyst's company and she said she didn't want to spend more time than needed with her. But she had called her, out of all the people, to pick her up and help her. Giggling to herself, her logical mind said she should probably check her phone to call her parents. 

Pulling it out and turning on the screen, she wasn't too shocked to see that her mom had called her six times and her dad called her 12 times. They also sent various texts that read along the lines of, “ _Where are you???? Dottie, answer me please!_ ” With a loud intake of breath, she dialed her father and tried her best to tell her conscious self to keep her unconscious self tame. 

It only rang once before it was answered. No surprise there. 

_Peridot Hara! Why didn't you answer our calls? Where are you? Why aren't you home yet?!_

Peridot breathed a sigh of relief that her father's thick accent sounded more laced with concern than anger or anything else. “Appa, I'm okay. Jasper, uh,” She fidgeted uncomfortably. Lying often made her feel wrong. “Her leg is acting up and she can barely move it so she can't drive me and her parents are sleeping, so I think I will have to stay here until tomorrow.”

Her mother's voice came through the line. _Why didn't you tell us sooner? We wouldn't have gotten angry. Are you sure you want to stay? We could pick you up._

Peridot did consider it for the shortest time but realized why she was staying here in the first place. “No, I want to be here with her. I'll text you in the morning when I wake up.” 

_Okay, darling. Just please don't keep us waiting like this again. Be safe. We love you._

When Peridot replied, the conversation was now over and she didn't know what to feel. She was always a woman of honesty and never saw the sense in lying but her she was, slightly intoxicated and in a classmate's bedroom. 

And she ended up in this situation and was acting like this in the name of _coolness_. She loathed for being liked and accepted that she was acting unlike herself at all. She probably wouldn't approve of herself in this moment. 

Amethyst came back and tossed her a blanket and pillow and barely anything was said before they both drifted off to sleep, Peridot taking a much longer time and not feeling right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What'd you think? Reviews are greatly accepted!!!!


	5. Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot wakes up the next morning after her experience. Amethyst and Peri chat it up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ultimate filler chapter. Kind of just dialogue, made this to fill in more blushy feels n shit before the next chapter, which will be part of an arc chapter thingy.

When Peridot woke up in the morning, she didn't want to move. Her head hurt and she felt nauseated. The pillows also smelled strongly of coconut and it made her feel peaceful. She was warm in the bed and the blankets were so soft and fluffy. Making no movement, she stayed until she realized what had happened last night and where she was. But she had fallen asleep on the couch. Why was she suddenly on the bed now. 

Jerking up, she spotted Amethyst sitting at the desk, using her laptop and eating bacon with eggs. Her eyes moved up to glance at Peridot while nibbling on the strip of pig meat. “Hey.” She greeted nonchalantly, waving her hand up. “I got you Gatorade.” 

Peridot turned to look at the nightstand where Amethyst pointed but moved too fast and she felt dizzy. She had to stop and hold her head for a bit, until she felt less sick and dizzy. She steady herself, and twisted to grab the bottle from the nightstand. Staring at it, she didn't understand. “Wow thanks. But why did you supply me with this bottle of sports drink?” She asked cautiously. 

“It's for your hangover.” Amethyst answered simply. “If you don't want it, then don't drink it. But do you want something to eat or do you feel nauseous?” She set aside her laptop and closed, focusing on the girl in her bed instead.  
“I was just confused as to the significance of it currently, but I do enjoy it, thank you. And I don't know if I wanna eat.” She took a big gulp of the drink before continuing. “I would like to request to go home?” It was more of a question. 

Amethyst grabbed her plate and moved to sit at the edge of the bed. “Why you in a hurry?” She grabbed another strip of bacon and offered some to Peridot. Reluctantly, stomach growling, Peridot accepted it and smiled. Reaching to the side to grab her phone, she started sending a text to her parents that she's okay. 

“I don't know. My parents were worried about me last night and I don't want them to be too concerned.” 

“I think you're smart enough to handle yourself.” Amethyst shrugged. “I mean, you might be small and you're not exactly too strong either- no offense, but I think you'd be able to outsmart a lot of people.” 

Peridot blushed at the compliment. Not wanting to get into too much depth about her parents to Amethyst, she changed the subject. “Is this what you consume for breakfast every morning?”

Amethyst thought about it for a second. “Well, most days, yeah. We don't have much other breakfasty food.” She shoved the plate to Peridot so she could have more without asking. “Why? What do you eat?”

“Um.” Peridot looked down at the food in her hand. It smelled so delightful. “My family often doesn't indulge in eating meat. Sometimes on occasion we have it on special days but rarely ever, and they _never_ have beef. I usually eat fruit for breakfast.” 

“Oh,” Amethyst realized. “Are they vegans or something?” She inquired. 

“Not exactly.” Peridot took a sip of her Gatorade. “It is due to our religion.” She corrected herself. “Their religion, I mean.”

The two of them just shared some polite conversation before Amethyst stood up and grabbed the empty plate. “I'm going to the kitchen. Come on, nerd.” She motioned for the blonde to follow her. 

.

Amethyst made Peridot a complete meal once they were in the kitchen and they gathered at the dining table to eat. Peridot sat down, cross legged on the chair with her plate of eggs and bread in front of her. Before diving in, she turned to Amethyst and thanked her for the meal and dove in. They were quiet while Peridot ate and Amethyst felt her heart flutter at how proper Peridot was being. 

“Peri, you're so cute. No wonder you ended up with your girlfriend.” Amethyst spoke without thinking, smiling at the blonde girl. 

A bright blush appeared on Peridot's cheeks and she paused her eating, wiped her mouth, and began to speak. “Oh, Jasper is much more physically and mentally attractive than me, but I appreciate the compliment.” She went back to her eating. 

“Only if you're into bodybuilders. I mean, I know she's super hot too, but I don't really like too much muscle, yanno?” Amethyst leaned back into her seat. 

Peridot was finished quickly and she looked up. “I didn't think I was either, but is the best match for me and I love her.” She sighed dreamily. “Amethyst? If it is not a problem that I ask, what are you into? Why have you not found a match yet?” 

Amethyst blushed. “I told you already, dude! Ain't nobody can tie me down.” 

“Yes, but,” Peridot began playing with her fingers. “When you find a good match, it feels so fantastic. Every time I'm with Jasper, I just feel normal and loved and…” She trailed off. “I know it is not necessary to find a mate, but why not take the chance when you get it?” 

“Well…” Amethyst did get takers but most often she either did not know them or they were males. “Honestly, I don’t really have time to do much if I’m with someone. With marching band, school, work and probably wrestling, I don’t exactly have time to be someone’s girlfriend for real, unless she’s in the same things I am.” Why couldn’t Peridot drop the matter?

Considering her answer to see it’s legitimacy, then Peridot realized a flaw. “But everyone is always busy with something. Jasper is in football and she does other sports later too so it never really stops. We don’t have a lot of the same friends and she works too. I’m in marching and concert band, as well as being the ukuleleist for Jade’s singing videos, and I do JSCC band, regionals and such. Recently, I began conducting a series of scientific experiments to calculate the results for my use. Does it appear to you that my girlfriend and I are not hardworking woman? We love each other and because of that, we are able to spend as much time together as we please. Constant contact with one another gets to frustrate you when you take note that you have no room for yourself.”

This silence Amethyst and though it was not too important of a conversation topic, Peridot felt like she was winning. Her smug smile didn’t go unnoticed by Amethyst. 

With a roll of her eyes, Amethyst spoke up once more. “Okay, whatever. Maybe when I find my ‘match’ then we can go on double dates.” She snorted and remarked sarcastically. Unfortunately, Peridot wasn’t very good at detecting sarcasm and her face lit up with excitement. 

“You’re going to find one?” Peridot was squirming in her chair with secret interest. “That’s great, Amethyst. Jasper makes me uncharacteristically pleased with life and you could be a great partner! Perhaps with my knowledge of romance, one day I'll locate someone who would be the superior person for you.”

Amethyst didn't quite understand Peridot's insistence, but it made her smile nonetheless. She also didn't know why Peridot's cute excitement made her cheeks flare up as well.  
. 

After they had eaten, Peridot was dropped at her house and she was preparing herself to lie to her parents. Of course, she did not want to but she wouldn't be able to face the disappointment from them if she told them the truth, so she decided that a white lie would be best in communicating with them after her activities last night. Inserting her key to the keyhole and twisting the knob, she walked inside and was attacked by hugs from her mother and father. 

“Peridot! Oh, sweetheart we were so worried before you called us last night!” Her mom began, keeping her small daughter in a tight embrace. Her father also did the same to her but didn't say anything. “We missed you!” Said her mother. 

She told them of the lie she had created of what had happened before she came home and about how Jasper's leg had been acting up and such. Though, her father stayed quiet during the whole time and once the story was finished, Peridot went up to her room to take a nap in her own bed. 

Unfortunately, that did not happen. She wasn't able to nap and ultimately resulted to playing her clarinet to relieve her feelings and make her forget about the guilt. Peridot didn't like the way she has been feeling these past few days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ????


	6. Invitational Performance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today's an invitational competition day. Amethyst and Peridot learn more about each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: more sexual references 
> 
> So like, I should explain that in marching band, you have invitationals. The host school basically invites you to compete in a competition, with judges and everything. If it is a state qualifying competition, you need a rating of excellent at the least to qualify to go to the state festival, then to the state championship if you get a superior at the festival. 
> 
> The is a sunmary of the ratings based off my state and I'm using concert band numbers bc I was confused by marching band numbers since I joined, I just understand how the ratings feel and what kind of performances get them like this:  
> Poor- score of 5, lowest score  
> Fair- okay performance, score of 4  
> Good- mediocre performance but still sounded good, score of 3  
> Excellent- state qualifying, very well, score of 2  
> Superior- score of 1? Amazing performances, a few mistakes here and there, very high and hard to get  
> Superior with Distinction- every judge gave a score of 1, meaning they all rated you the highest. Highest rating and amazing to get. 
> 
>  
> 
> If you're confused, Google it but it confuses me more so I just make a simplified version. 
> 
> At competitions I've been to, I have always had a warm up area, performance (duh), changed + put instruments away, and wait time until the scores were announced, where you could watch bands or buy concessions and eat.

After that day that Peridot had slept over at Amethyst's house, they still acted as they did and Amethyst didn't bring it up about Peridot's reckless behavior. Their interactions from there were usually about band, as they were prepping for the big upcoming day. 

And this was the day. Today is the first competition Amethyst is going to actually be in with such an ensemble like this. Her old band was division 1 band with over 100 members, and now she's in division 3, with a group that had a little over 50 members. Not that she really often did, but there was no hiding places. Was she nervous? Only a little, mostly because she didn't want to be upstaged by Peridot. Because, in all honestly, Peridot was way too talented to be at their school. Clearly their school’s fine arts department was talented and exceptional, Peridot belonged at some fancy high school for her talent. Nervously, she threw on her show shirt, black shorts and put on her long black socks and marching shoes, making sure they were tight. 

Practice before was as stressful and before boarding practice usually went. Screaming at each section, talking about dynamics and articulation. They said for everyone to do their best or they weren't a team. Every single member were rushing all around, taking bathroom breaks and water, mostly just putting their uniform over their clothes and percussion loading the truck with everything. They had pit, not drumline. 

Amethyst, like everyone else, was in the band room changing, putting her bibbers over her shorts. She was relieved that they fit because she had been binge eating last night before she fell asleep. She then put on her jacket over her show shirt and silently admired the dark purple and green colors, but the rest was white or black. On the side towards the shoulder read their school and city name. This jacket also had buttons on the front, but those were never actually unfasted, and in the back was the zipper. Reaching to her back, she wasn't able to get it to zip from the awkward angle and conveniently then saw Peridot.

“Peri-” 

“Sh!” Peridot shushed her, holding her finger out to indicate for her to be quiet. Her Samsung phone was held up to her ear and Amethyst cussed herself for not even noticing she was busy and in some type of call. Her voice was in a hushed tone but it seemed upset. 

Knowing she shouldn't but curiosity getting the best of her and she made as little noise as possible. _”I do not care to engage in an argument with you before an important competition! That is a selfish decision of you to choose this time! You are wasting my valuable time! I love you, bye!_ She whisper-screamed into the phone, her volume and pitch rising as her anger did as well before tossing the phone away and growling to herself. 

Not quite sure what to do, Amethyst gawked at Peridot. Clearly, it appeared her morning wasn't going all too well and she didn't know if it was the best time to ask her for a favor. Still, she just stared and stared until Peridot noticed. 

“What do you want?” Peridot asked, raising one eyebrow and furrowing the other, her voice sounded growled. 

“Oh,” For once it was Peridot who was doing all the talking and Amethyst who was flustered and quiet. “I was, um, wondering if you could zip me up.”

Peridot sighed and did as she was asked. These jackets zipped from the top down and when she reached the end, she put a little too much pressure and she blushed, her anger leaving in the slightest. “I apologize for my hostility.” She finished zipping her up and walked away before Amethyst could thank her. She didn't. Walk out of Amethyst’s thoughts, though. All she could think of is what that phone call might've been about.

.

The whole band boarded their bus. Amethyst sighed and sat in the last seat of the bus. She was alert and looking for Peridot to get on and she did spot her, looking for a right seat. “Hey Peri! Sit with me.” She waved her over and though the blonde growled, she walked all the way to her seat and sat down. 

“Why all the way in the back?” Peridot complained, looking around her and taking in her unknown surroundings. It felt a little cluttered and she felt separated from the team. Next to them, they saw Jade and Obsidian sit at the seat to their right. 

“Dunno. Why not?” She shrugged it off and attempted to get comfortable. “I also brought some snacks for the ride. You know this place is almost two hours away.” She chuckled and shook her head, “I needed someone fun to chill with and someone to share snacks with.” 

Peridot tried not to dwell on the compliment but a grin showed her defeat and a blush appeared on her face, “Obviously I'm the most entertaining person for you here!” She exclaimed, feeling very important. “You're observation is correct!” 

Amethyst laughed once more and she reached into her bag, “Hey Peri, chill.” She placed her hand on her shoulder and the other one was holding a container of wraps. “I have wraps, dude. They're really good. Want some?” She asked her, shaking the container out to her. 

The blonde tried to resist but despite what Jasper had gotten her for breakfast before driving her here, she still felt hungry. She reluctantly grabbed one of pinwheel looking wraps. “Thank you.” she waited until Amethyst began eating to start on her own. She sighed in bliss at the food. Before she knew it, she was finished and she wanted another one. 

She didn't want to ask first so instead she just kind of stared at the container, hoping that she'd get what Amethyst didn't want. Amethyst noticed her staring though and she gave her the rest of the container, “You can have it, dude. I also have donuts and pudding if you want some. Though please have a pudding first if you're going to have it.” She picked up her bag and opened it up to show to her blonde friend. 

Peridot bit her lip. She didn't want to seem rude or unmannered, but she did offer her. She grabbed a pudding pack and two wraps out of their container before closing it and putting it in her backpack. “Thank you.”

They sat like that, as the bus drove off from school and Amethyst talked to Peridot while she ate and quietly listened. “I asked Ms. Malachite if I could audition for a solo in choir and she told me that my voice is really raspy to be a soloist in front of the school. I told her I'm going to anyway and she shouldn't judge me before she hears what I prepared.”

“My assumption would be because of that smoking.” Peridot wrinkled her nose and began opening her snack pudding pack. “Thank you again. Chocolate pudding is the superior dessert snack.”

“What was that?” 

“Which part, the smoking comment or the pudding comment?” Peridot realized she didn't have a spoon and she growled as she realized she had to use her tongue and fingers to get the sweet dessert out. “Excuse my savagery but you did not give me any helpful utensils so I have to get a little messy.”

“The smoking part.”

“Oh,” Peridot paused in her attempt to get the pudding out of the cup. “Well, clearly it's not shocking news that you smoke some sort of substance. I hypothesize that you mainly smoke weed primarily, based on the smell of your clothes when you come to after school rehearsal. Though it isn't too much of a dangerous drug, I've researched that smoking weed can cause laryngitis and can cause some vocal scarring, which will decrease your range. I'm sure she doesn't want you to be able to sing something one day and the next not be able to hit any of the notes.” She then growled and resulted to just using her tongue to lap up the pudding. 

Amethyst rolled her eyes, “Okay, sure. You know, maybe you should fire it up with me, someday. You're so uptight. Yeesh.” 

Peridot had quickly scarfed down her pudding using her tongue and she snapped her eyes to give Amethyst a face of pure ludicrous. “How would participating in an activity like that have any sort of positive outcome for me?”

“Well, it can calm you down and stop being so… “ Amethyst trailed off and looked at her friend directly, “Yo, Peri, you got a little something on you face.” Before Peridot could ask where, Amethyst was wiping away at her face. “Shouldn't be so judgmental when you're over here looking messy.” She half joked.

The blonde blushed and quieted down, letting Amethyst cleaned her off. It was quiet while she did this before Peridot interjected once more, “I am asthmatic also. And I-I can't stand the smell. And when Jasper goes to a party without me, she's always so high that she can't even tell colors apart and she gets so paranoid. I don't like having to see her in that state and I don't fancy putting myself in that state either.” 

“Oh.” Was the reply that came. “I guess that makes sense.” 

They were quiet and Amethyst was about to out in her music when she noticed on the other side of the bus were Jade and Obsidian, kissing and groping each other. Clearly, Peridot hadn't noticed and was paying attention to whatever article she was reading. Snickering, Amethyst nudged Peridot and moved her eyes to gesture to the couple next to them.

Peridot looked annoyed at her reading being disrupted but turned to look at them anyway and her face turned a dark cherry red and her eyes widened twice her normal size. She opened her mouth to explain her disturbance but a squeak was what came out first. “Jade! What are you participating in?” She couldn't stop her eyes from watching and they pulled away, all tongues lips, and Obsidian raised his hand from his girlfriend's ass. 

Jade giggled, shooting her boyfriend a look and turning to her best friend. “Seriously, Dot? For being a genius, you should know what were doing. Amethyst, you should explain it to her.” She hummed as she felt her lover playing with her hair softly. 

Peridot looked at Amethyst with an appalled expression for a second and quickly turned back to them. “I understand what you two are engaging in!” Her arms crossed over her chest. “ _Why_ are you participating in this in a very public setting?” She corrected herself to her friend.

“Well, I always thought you should own up to your stereotypes.” Jade replied nonchalantly. “Sexualy active band geeks? Mean Girls?” 

Huffing, Peridot's blush was fading in the slightest, getting over the initial shock and her annoyance taking over. “I have no idea what this ‘mean girls’ thing is, however, I hope you are aware of the fact that you do not have to become a stereotype.” 

Rolling her eyes, Jade spoke up again. “Well duh! But we're in the back seat, away from everyone! Who sits in the backseat if their intent was not to do this stuff?” She smirked at her own comment and turned her full attention back to her boyfriend before either girls could say another word.

This made Peridot freak out more and her face was extremely warm. She stuttered, trying to find words even though she knew if she were to say anything, Jade would ignore her, so she just stared at the couple and was too afraid to turn around and face Amethyst. 

Amethyst also felt herself get nervous and her hands started sweating, her heartbeat following an accelerando. The thought of her grabbing Peri and kissing her senseless on the ride to the location wouldn't leave her brain and she felt wrong for even having these thoughts. For a split second, she worried that this was an indication of her developing feelings for Peridot, but she brushed it off as normal since Jade implied it. Still, her heart was beating at a rapid tempo and she almost wished she would grab Peridot and do what was mentioned to her. 

But she didn't want the whole rest of the ride to be awkward, so erasing her mind, she tapped Peridot and brought up a completely unrelated topic that she had predicted that Peridot would be interested in. She predicted right, and in no time, the two girls were talking like that hadn't happened, or it didn't affect them.

They shared chit chat and also dueled each other on their individual DS’s in Mario Kart, until they finally arrived at the high school and were escorted to their warm up area. Mr. A told them to warm up and work on their solo/duet together. When they were walking to a further spot from the group, Amethyst struck up a conversation. 

“Are you nervous?” She questioned, still staring at the ground and where she was walking. 

Peridot stopped when they were far enough and she turned, shaking her head. “No. Not really. Why would I feel nervous? I have done this on a multitude of occasions before.” 

“I'm scared I'll mess up. I learned the show and drill and everything so rushed. What if I suddenly forget because everyone's watching me? What if you get your spotlight and you're amazing and great and then we have to combine out sounds and I squeak? Or I'm extremely flat?” Amethyst said, playing with the keys on her sax nervously. “Well, clearly I'm not flat but.” She gestured her eyes towards her large bust, cracking a joke out of her anxiety. 

“Come on.” Peridot began, blushing and trying to look anywhere but her chest, which wasn't showing very much but her uniform was too tight on that area. “I am almost certain that you will be great. Your tone in practice was clear and loud and you have that feel that you're always so confident. Fake it until you make it. Perform with passion too, because if you don't then your fate will be an unpleasant performance. And even if in the outcome, you perform something incorrectly, at least you can be there for the presentation of it all, like guard does.” She beamed at her duet partner. “Now come on. Get your mind in competition mode and let's practice.” 

-

The band was waiting behind the door, watching for the band to finish so they could make their way to field. They were mostly quiet and it felt tense. Peridot looked over to Amethyst and noticed her hands shaking. They made eye contact and Peridot smiled genuinely and made a gesture to pull down her shako, as her eyes were clearly visible. They shared a smile until they realized the band had finished and the rest of their own band was beginning to march to the field.

In marching band, you had to look nice every second, regardless of if your performance had started yet. Your lines had to be straight, even when just marching onto the field. It was the first impression. Your shakos had to be lowered, or there were too much face exposed. Unless you are in colorguard, you should not smile at anytime, marching is military like activity and you should be serious and stern.

A few left the line to go help pit as they set up and also set up their microphones as well. Once everyone landed at their dots, they were standing at parade rest, expressions stoney, as they waited for the indication that they were to start soon.

Amethyst felt her heart facing. Out of all her performing life, she almost never got anxious before performing but this was different. She was having a duet with an extremely talented person, and she is reminded of why she usually prefers solos. Surely, Peridot will be clearer than her and will get a round of applause and when it gets to her, they’ll stay quiet. 

“Please welcome onto the field the South Downtown Gemstones!” The announcer announced them onto the stadium and it was go time.

During the second movement, Amethyst and Peridot played with passion and intensity and received a loud round of applause. They winked at each other before moving to their next dots. 

Unfortunately, during the third and last moment, there was a set when they were all in lines that just kept moving. Amethyst had forgotten that during rehearsal, the man behind her warned her that she always got a little too close to her and occasionally she had gone so far back that she had actually bumped him. Sadly, today was one of those occasions. Though it had been noted that she should watch to dress the line, it slipped her mind at the intensity of the sets and music. She was marching back when she bumped into him and for a short measure, they both stopped playing at the interruption, but they beat on and Amethyst wanted to cuss at herself for messing up. 

The performance ended and they got a big round of applause, though many gave them a standing ovation and they marched off the field.

And Peridot noted that Amethyst had followed her advice. Though in real life Amethyst was silly, goofy, and rebellious, on the field she was perfectly in step and didn't pay mind to much other than producing good sounds and following her path.

-

The band went back to the bus to pack away their instruments and change out of their uniforms and maybe put on more comfortable clothes so they could lounge comfortably while they waited all day to hear the results of their performance. 

Once everyone's instrument was packed and they changed outside (no indecient exposure, they all had clothing inter their uniforms), some people went onto the bus and threw in some clothes over their show shirt or took it off and changed into a looser shirt. But Amethyst brought Peridot with her to go back to their seat so she could grab her bag and change. They were casually talking about how the performance went when Peridot was appalled when Amethyst pulled down her black shorts and was standing in purple lace underwear. 

“Ah!” Peridot squeaked, trying to look somewhere else but it was distracting her and hard to look away from. “What are you doing?!” She screeched, her face now flushed intensely. 

Amethyst raised an eyebrow. “Chill, Peri. I'm not going to wear those sweaty shorts. I'm just changing. You know you can look away if you want to.” She ignored her friend's embarrassment and reached over to grab her leggings that she brought with her. They were ripped but she didn't care. She slipped them on with ease and slung her backpack over her shoulder. Now, what about you? Everyone's gone so you can change in here too. I won't peak.” She looked around at the empty bus. 

Peridot sat staring at the floor and wrapped her arms around herself. There were many reasons she'd want to change in the bathroom but there were most likely more people in there than in the bus. Currently, Amethyst and herself were the only ones in the bus, even the driver being gone (he told the rest who were on to close it before they got off). She didn't want to keep wearing these sweatpants, she hated the way they looked and if she wore that material for too long, her skin began to itch. But was it really worth it? Under those sweatpants she was sweating so much and she felt like she was on fire. Uncomfortably, she twisted in the seat.

“Um, I believe this may be an acceptable and adequate place to change my appearance modifiers. The bathrooms are likely to be over occupied and I don't think that would make me comfortable. However,” Peridot looked super vulnerable despite her attempts to look dignified didn't hide her worry, “You have to not look at me while I am in the process of changing. Please. I am being serious, don't ever look.”

Amethyst was taken aback at how serious she sounded. She had thought she didn't want to change because she was embarrassed at being seen in her underwear, but it seemed there was an underlying reason Peridot seemed petrified of being seen while changing. “Okay. I won't look.” She turned her head against her, closed her eyes and gestured so her hand was against her eyes. “You can trust me.” Amethyst declared sincerely. 

Though weary, Peridot hoped for the best. She had to trust her. She tried to change out off her thick sweatpants and into her lighter material jeans rapidly. While she did feel rather exposed, it wasn't for the reason it probably seems like. She didn't want Amethyst to see her like this. Hurriedly, she rolled down her socks, was pushing off her sweats and trying to pull on her jeans, when she got tangled in the jumble of pant legs and feel over with a loud bang. 

Amethyst turned around and the sound and groan Peridot made when she turned around, eyes still closed and a hand still covering her eyes, but the other one free. “Peridot?! Did you fall? Are you okay?” She reached her other hand out to search for Peridot's hand or arm, but Peridot was squirming, attempting to get untangled and stand back up. 

Peridot laughed forcefully, trying to make her fall humorous so that Amethyst wouldn't worry and stop trying to help her up. “I'm fine!” She said too nervously. Clearing her voice, she tried to push Amethyst's wondering hand away. “I am so clumsy! Ahaha!” The whole situation felt intensely awkward and Amethyst's hand was still moving around and Peridot stopped moving altogether when she felt her touch her right leg. She just gawked at the chubbier hand, not knowing what to say or do.

Amethyst felt something cold and hard. She heard Peridot take a sharp intake of breathe. Amethyst moved her arm covering her eyes down and slowly opened them and was shocked at the sight in front of her. 

There was little blonde Peridot, clad in their purple show shirt and baby blue boy shorts with a repeating Wonder Woman pattern on it them. She normally would have laughed at the nerdiness aesthetic of them, but now wasn't the time. But that wasn't what was so shocking about the whole thing. What was shocking was the view was that this was the first time she had actually seen Peridot's legs. And her right leg was vastly different from the other. 

Unlike her thighs and left leg, Peridot's right leg wasn't the light skinned tan color and smooth. In fact, from the bottom down, it wasn't even skin. It appeared to be a type of black, shiny metal that was cold to the touch. The foot part was clearly made to give the impression of flesh, but going up it looked like a stick, but it got wider as it went higher, to give the impression of a calf, she assumed. It was being held by two metal holdings that went around Peridot's thighs. Amethyst couldn't help but gaze at it, feeling awed.

Peridot seemed to snap back into reality because she began freaking out. While she tried to conceal it by pulling her jeans onto her body, it was too late. Amethyst had already seen how flawed and damaged Peridot really was. She couldn't decide if she preferred the silence rather than if Amethyst had started screaming at her. “You-” Peridot started up, “You clod! You verbally said to me that you wouldn't look! I trusted that you wouldn't look!” With her rage, she threw the sweats that she had tripped over to the shocked saxophonist. 

“Peri. It's okay.” Amethyst stared reassuringly, catching the sweats and balling them up.

“What do you mean it's ‘okay’?! Are you unable to comprehend what situation just occurred?! I’m- I’m defective! You weren't supposed to have that knowledge!” 

“Stop.” Amethyst said calmly and looked into Peridot's eyes, “I see it. It's okay. Let me help you up.” She finally grabbed both of Peridot's hands and pulled her to her feet. The taller girl didn't say much as Amethyst helped her keep her balance and pull her jeans up. “Put your shoes on, grab your stuff and let's get out of here. They're probably wondering what's taking us so long. “ Amethyst grabbed her backpack and made her way down the aisle then the stairs, Peridot trailing behind her. 

“Wait!” Peridot said from behind Amethyst as they walked down the stairs and closed the bus doors. “You aren't disturbed by me? You do not find it unsettling?” She walked at a much faster speed to be at Amethyst's side and not behind her.

Amethyst laughed, “Oh Peri. Why would I be? So you have a fake leg, who cares? It's pretty cool that even though you have that, you still put in the effort to do what you love and march with us. It's beyond cool, it's awesome.” 

“Cool.” Peridot repeated, letting the word roll off her tongue, “Cool? You think I'm… Cool?” The way she annunciated ‘cool’ made it obvious that's what she was focused on, as if nobody had ever said that to her and that wasn't quite too wrong. She seemed to have forgotten all about the incident that just happened and how scared she had been.

Amethyst scoffed jokingly. “Obviously. You're pretty cool to have to do something like that. Plus, it's cool hanging out with you. I like that.” 

Peridot was smiling to herself and didn't say much in reply right away. She played with her hands while they walked to the bleachers to sit and watch the other bands to wait and hear the results. Nobody really ever thought that Peridot was cool or fun to hang out with. It was more along the lines of boring, nerdy, buzzkill. It felt pretty good to be cool. Perhaps all her activities recently had caused this adjective, or maybe Amethyst appreciated her more than others did. But then she remembered what happened on the bus and she grabbed at Amethyst's arm. 

“You’re not going to say anything about it?” Her voice cracked, but she kept on. “Are you going to tell the others?”

“Do they not know?” This actually shocked Amethyst. It made sense for her not to know, she was still relatively new but everyone else? 

“I mean, Jade and a few others do. Mr. A knows too, but I told them not to tell anyone. I don't want to get treated differently because of it. I'm not different. I'm the same, I just have a fake leg.” 

“Okay. I won't tell anyone. And I'm not going to interrogate you about it if you don't want to talk about it. I'm not actually trying to make you uncomfortable.” Amethyst said in a genuine tone. 

Peridot was relieved. If she wanted anyone to find her like this, it would ideally be Amethyst. She always had her best interests at heart. “Do you want me to tell you the story, though?”

Amethyst did consider it, because it would be inhuman to not be curious about how she came to get her prosthetic leg, but knowing it was possibly a sensitive subject and Peridot was never really an emotional or open person, keeping to herself most of the time. “No. I mean, I'm curious, and you can tell me, but only if you want to.”

Peridot didn't really feel too comfortable to tell her at the moment. It wasn't her fault, but the situation had made her brain fuzzy. “Thank you for understanding me and for not telling any other soul.”

“No problem.” Amethyst suddenly stopped once they approached the bleachers, the loudness of the performing band taking over their hearing. She turned around to Peridot and leaned in close to her ear, “Nice Wonderwoman undies, by the way.” 

Her loud cackle was barely audible with the noise from the band and audience, but Peridot heard everything and her face flared up. They complimented her body, were her most comfortable pair and Jasper gave them to her after she had become smitten over Wonder Woman's character!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is part of an arc, probably three chapters long at the least. Also, Amethyst's mistake happened to me before. It was an early morning competition and I had totally forgot and my peripheral vision isn't that great so I saw the guy I was supposed to dress to farther than he actual was and I just bumped into a trumpet player. I felt so bad, but the guy said it was fine and we just played it off. 
> 
> And I feel bad for Ame cuz I feel how bad it feels to make a visable mistake, but making her go through the whole show flawlessly with her having learned it last second and rushed, to be unrealistic. 
> 
> Also, completely unrelated but I really want to tell people that I had a festival on 4/29 I had a concert band festival (kind of like a competition, but you're not competing at all lmao) and our band got a SUPERIOR WITH DISTINCTION on a performance that I feel definitely was not our best and I'm so happy and proud. 
> 
> Blushy Ame n Peri, oooh.
> 
> Lemme know what you guys think?? Even mre gayness coming soon.


	7. Invitational Wait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second part of the two little beans at the invitational competition arc. Next is the last part of this short in story arc. There waiting time until the band can hear the awards ceremony and find head on their way home. More members of the band are introduced in this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I just realized Pearl is such a color guard member and so here's her intro, though she really doesn't say much at all. 
> 
> Also, I have jazz band today, concert band AND choir rehearsal tomorrow, my choir concert on Thursday, which I have a duet in ANNNNND Steven Universe In Too Deep starts on that day, then my choir banquet on Friday, my band banquet on Saturday, but A CAR WASH earlier that same day for a band fundraiser, and lastly, a concert band performance on next Thursday. Then finals and end of school. Yay. So I'm not sure how much I'll be able to write for the next week? Also I'm so pumped for SU but so many leaks ajdjavx.

The band had an estimated three hours left until the awards ceremony was to start. Their director had said they were free to buy food, send shout outs, use the restrooms, but they were to be in contact with other members, in case an event were to happen. Most of everyone got food, went to watch bands and talk to one another. 

Peridot and Amethyst followed Jade and Obsidian to the concession stand. They were all talking, deciding what to buy and they decided to eat at the picnic bench, rather than in the bleachers because they felt too cluttered and watched in bleachers. Obsidian was sent to go to save the table for them while the females went to buy their food. 

Jade and her boyfriend had already decided and opted for a teriyaki bowl for each other then and she scurried away, Peridot and Amethyst still deciding on what they wanted to purchase. 

“Hm.” Peridot mumbled, stroking her chin as she thought about the possible choices. “I could choose to purchase and consume a burger, as I do not often get an opportunity to have one.” She glanced at the people cooking away on the grills. “However,” She turned her attention to a different stand. “I did eat cow meat about a week ago. In general, I've been eating a large quantity of meat.” She glanced at Amethyst for a second before focusing on her decision. “But popped corn kernels will not be a very filling meal, therefore not a wise purchase.” She thought about it again. “I'm also not really allowed to have any because of my braces...

Amethyst was chuckled at Peridot's precision with deciding what to eat. “Why not get some fries? They also have salads and the teriyaki bowl only has more veggies than anything.”

Peridot considered these options. “I believe I will get a salad with seasonal fruit.” She read directly from the pricing menu. “Are you ordering from here too?” She questioned. The food truck had a variety of things. All types of salads, parfaits, chicken sandwiches and such. 

“Nah.” Amethyst said immediately, already knowing where she wanted to buy from. “I'mma get some dank food.” She pointed over to the food truck and Peridot bid her goodbye when they walked to their separated places. 

Amethyst went over to the little food truck called Not Just Fries. It was decorated in decals of baked and mashed potatoes and smiling French fries. This place specialize in potato food. With one glance at the menu, Amethyst already decided what she ordered and went to go sit down with Obsidian and Jade, waiting for Peridot. 

A few of the other bandies had gone and joined the couple. Two color guard ladies, Pearl and Lapis, were sitting to the right of Jade in their bench. There was also a tuba girl and pit guy sitting with them, Amethyst hadn't learned their names, though she thinks the sousaphone player might've been called Ruby. They were all talking to each other, discussing various things. 

Amethyst sat on the bench across from them. Obsidian greeted her and she greeted there others. “Uh, hey guys.” She smiled at the two color guard members. 

“Hi Amethyst!” Lapis said with a cheeky grin. “We've never talked but man, you're so good.” She extended her hand to Amethyst for her to shake and though unexpected, Amethyst took it and shook it. 

“Thank you. You're really good at guard too. Color guard is for presentation and I think you can do that job _very_ well.” Amethyst accidentally flirted in a husky voice and she didn't realize what she was saying until it came out of her mouth but she concealed her shook with a smug smile. She never understood why everyone called her flirty but she was noticing it more and more. 

This didn't seem to phase Lapis. Or not greatly, that is. She was taken aback but smirked nonetheless. “Well, I'm sure you'd do great in guard. You could just sit stand there in those leotards and we'd get best in auxiliary.” She leaned her head onto her hand, gazing into Amethyst's dark greyish blue eyes. Silently, she wondered how Amethyst's eyes were such a vibrant color if she wasn't even white. She had thought that primarily white people had bright eyes and Hispanics had dark eyes. 

Amethyst felt her cheeks get a little warm but didn't want to seem more vulnerable. “Oh please, me in a guard?” She snickered at the thought of her ever giving up her sax to be in it. “I'm not nearly flexible enough for that.” She admitted plainly. 

Lapis raised one eyebrow at her and she ducked her head, an actual blush appearing on her face, though slight, in anticipation of what was going to be said next. “I can help you be more… flexible.” Her voice was lowered in a seductive tone. The two girls were grinning at each other, a blush now visible for both of them. In Amethyst's peripheral vision, she saw Peridot walking over towards their table.

Peridot was carrying her salad and bowl of seasonal fruit. She reached the bench and took a seat right next to Amethyst and she smiled at her. “Did you see that last band? Their show was executed well, I am pleasantly surprised!” She looked straight ahead of her and notice the extra people. “Greetings, Ruby, Lapis, Topaz.” She nodded and moved her eyes to Pearl. Sneering, she greeted her as well. “Talentless being.” 

Pearl gasped and gritted her teeth. “Hello, you tiny twerp!” They glared at each other until Peridot turned away and began to consume her meal. It was rather quiet while everyone focused on eating.

“So Amethyst,” Lapis started up, pausing in stealing food from Pearl's plate. “What school you came from? Why'd you decide to join us?” She looked dreamily at the long haired girl, while she twirled her own black hair in an attempt to look flirtier. 

Amethyst opened her mouth to talk until Peridot silently told her that was not good mannerism. With a roll of her eyes, she swallowed and then began to talk. “Well, I went to Star Academy, about an hour away. My fam moved here and we were deciding on a school and I read that the arts programs here are good, so I realized this was the best place.” She told the story. “But I didn't know it was a much smaller ensemble. My old band had twice the amount of people we have.” Her eyes looked at every single person sitting with them. “Wasn’t expecting that.”

Standing up, Lapis moved over from her side of the bench and walked towards Amethyst. Both Amethyst and Peridot looked up at her, though Peridot was quick to continue working on her salad. Lapis had her chest lifted and her back arched slightly, her arms twisted in a timid pose, though that was the exact opposite of what she acted like. “Smaller things are fun, too.” She stared down at Amethyst. The gaze didn't break, Lapis’ eyes full of want and Amethyst's wide with curiosity. “I mean, you're small and I'm sure you're loads of _fun_.” She articulated the word ‘fun’. 

Amethyst went along with it, as she usually did with most things in like. “Trust me, I am.” 

Lapis looked down to the bench and suddenly tried to squeeze herself between Peridot and Amethyst's hips, Amethyst scooting over for her while Peridot was caught off guard and got squished. She growled and moved over, not pleased with the added member sitting next to them. Though she tried to make her frustration obvious, neither Amethyst or Lapis paid her any mind. The two girls were leaning with their faces a close proximity to each other's. 

“Why don't you show me how fun you can be? And I can give you lessons in _flexibility._ ” Lapis tucked her hair behind her ears and whipped out her Samsung phone from her back pocket of her shorts. “So how about we get each other's digits?” A smirk answered her question and the two of them exchanged phones.

Peridot watched the interaction go down. She hadn't been paying too much attention to Lapis or any of the others for that matter until she had came over and disrupted her eating, but now she was intrigued for some peculiar reason to listen to them and her food was quickly ignored. There was some sort of unfamiliarity of this interaction the two girls were having. And for some reason, she wasn't too fond of it and wanted it to stop and for Lapis to get her flexible self up and leave their sight. Watching them with a side eye, she felt time was slower and she wanted to count the minutes until it was over. 

Finally, due Pearl, all of the extra guests to their table had finished and got up to go in the bleachers and watch the bands. Peridot hated it, but she silently thanked Pearl in her head for taking the initiative to leave, making the others follow. Lapis took a little too long to say goodbye to Amethyst and Peridot felt her ears want to bleed when Amethyst cracked a joke and Lapis responded with that laugh of hers before walking away, and to Peridot, it seemed she was enunciating her hips too much while she walked.

It was silent, Jade, Obsidian, Amethyst and Peridot stayed quiet until they were all completely out of sight. Jade then quickly turned to Amethyst with a large grin on her face. “You two are so flirty! Are you guys going to become a thing?” She inquired excitedly, grabbing at her boyfriend's hand and stealing one of Amethyst's fries with her free one. 

Amethyst didn't mind it, but the questioning made her think. Lapis was pretty and talented. She was also funny and outgoing and flirty, but Amethyst wasn't sure if that was the right person for her. If that was her ‘type’. While she did often fall for girls who were small, Lapis had a flirty personality that reminded her of herself, except that Lapis has a meaner, more sarcastic side to her, despite generally having good intentions for others, and while Amethyst was reckless, but she didn't like being aggressive. 

“Hell if I know. If she wants to tie me down, maybe her and I can try it. But who knows, maybe we'll just test her ‘flexibility’ and my fun levels.” Amethyst shrugged, trying to seem like the question hadn't caused her much thought. 

Jade's grin faded a little. “Oh, I'm sure you two will have a great deal of fun with each other.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “But do you think you might want to date her? I mean, sex is great and all,” Jade said and this was the first time Peridot made any noise at all, squeaking. Jade paused and made a face at her reaction but wanted to finish her statement. “But being with someone is totally different and, in my opinion, much better.” 

Obsidian pulled his girlfriend closer to him and kissed her head, butting into the conversation. “I agree with her, Amethyst. I won't lie and say that sex sucks, but having someone there to love and care and support you is cool too.” He heard his girlfriend sigh contentedly.

Though Amethyst found the interaction adorable, she didn't want to show it. Romance was cute, but she had never been in the most romantic type relationships. “Ugh, barf in my mouth, you losers.” She stuck her tongue out and the three of them laughed. 

“But it's true. I mean, Dot, don't you agree that sex is cool but romance is cooler?” Jade directed her attention at Peridot and they all remember her presence. She had been so quiet other than the squeak but wasn't talking as she normally did. 

Squirming in her seat, Peridot felt suddenly uncomfortable at not only the question, but the sudden attention directed to her. She carefully thought her words, but they came out random and she sputtered anything that came to her mind. “I-I mean, yes, I do enjoy being with Jasper as a romantic person more than anything… sexual. N-Not to state that doing so is not ‘fun’, but if you make an effort to be someone's romantic interest, it seems to have more benefits.” Her thoughts blurted out and she felt like it was more of her repeating her thought process aloud but hoped the group didn't care. She was just trying to get out of the focus. 

“Oh, that's why, I forgot.” Jade pulled out of her boyfriend's embrace and shifted to lean towards Peridot. “Dottie’s a virgin.” She informed the other's and Peridot slammed her head onto the table, avoiding their eyes. “Not that that's a problem, Dot, but I don't think we can really count your thoughts as valid information.” She shrugged, and leaned more towards Amethyst. 

Peridot popped her head back up quickly, her eyebrows were furrowed and she shot a look at her friend. “Just because I'm waiting doesn't invalidate my relationship!” She huffed, moving her eyes down to the stable and her forgotten food. “Jasper makes me feel so much emotion and my calculations say that nothing would make me feel better than when her and I just get to…be.” A small smile tugged at her lips. “Though I assume that a sexualize relationship would not include the unnecessary baggage that can occur when one is based off emotions alone. Both could have their benefits, but romantic ones have more to them.” Her nasally voice trailed off, and she looked to Amethyst instead this time. 

“But with Lapis?” Peridot opened up, going away from the old topic. “Why her?” 

Amethyst didn't really have an answer. “Why not her?” She thought about it. “She's hot and she's funny. Why else do I ever go for?” 

Peridot seemingly did not like that answer, it made her feel weird, though she tried not to show it. She acted as cool and collected as she could seem. “It's just, she's a bit weird, isn't she?” Peridot scowled. “Plus, her hair is damaged from the chlorine in the pool for swim.” 

With a ludicrous look, Amethyst felt offended for her new romantic interest, or whatever they were. “That's kind of rude, Peri. We're all weird in here, girl. We spend our time that's not marching making jokes about memes and baby centaurs.”

Jade's clear voice came through. “Dot, she's really not that bad at all. I thought you said you thought she was nice?” It was said as more a rhetorical question, not meant to be answered. She looked down at her and her boyfriends empty bowls and they both stood up. “I think we're done though, so we're gonna check out the competition. Text me when you guys decide to join us.” The couple smiled and left hand in hand. 

That left Amethyst and Peridot just sitting their, with their forgotten, mostly finished meals. Amethyst pulled out her phone and pulled up a video game. “Lapis seemed great. I don't know what you're going on about.” 

Shifting uncomfortable, Peridot glared down at her leftovers. “Perhaps you are unaware, but you could be romantically interested in someone who is a more suitable pair for you, and frankly, you can do better than that.” She said, hoping she was being subtle. But subtle about what? Why did she want to day things but didn't want to say then bluntly? She confused herself. 

“But can I really, Peri? Ever since I came to this school, no one's really taken interest in me but Lapis just now.” Suddenly, Amethyst felt vulnerable, so she tried to get her power back into herself. “Don't know why anyone hasn't tried to hop onto this pile of ass, but it's whatever.” She cackled as Peridot's face flushed for the thirtieth time that day. 

“Perhaps it is due to that you're too intimidating to some, but I am almost clear that if you approached someone first and were polite, you would find that more people were to be interested.” Her compliment wasn't the smoothest, but she hoped the message came across as she wanted it to. All that came was a half hearted shrug, again.  
“But do you even know her at all? Hasn't she had several sexual partners?” Peridot pestered on. 

“Probably, but so have I, haven't I? Who are you to tell her what to do with her body, homie?” Amethyst was confused at the different things that her little friend was spewing. 

A frustrated growl came from Peridot. “I am not trying to pass judgment on her sexual life! I am talking about what has occurred in her romantic and sexual relationships! I've heard this, that she's does not pay mind to other's feelings! Who’s to conclude that she will not do the same with you?!” Her high voice reached a higher volume. 

Out was like there was a multi-measure rest, the silence felt unbearable at Peridot revealing her true feelings on why she didn't want Amethyst and Lapis to be anymore than friends. Amethyst turned to look at Peridot directly into her vibrant green eyes with her own grey-blue eyes. “Aw,” A small giggle escaped from her lips. “You care about me!” It was said in a sing-song, teasing voice. 

Sighing, Peridot pushed up her glasses onto her nose and waited for any other comments from her duet partner to come. “But I can handle myself just fine, dude.” Amethyst leaned closer to Peridot and patted her shoulder with a smile. 

“Anyway, are you done eating? You should get a snow cone with me.” Amethyst's eyes were full of want. For the snow cone, of course. “That place is really good, come on.” She stood up rapidly, grabbed their food and tossed it in the trash. Then she went to Peridot, who was now standing and looked somewhat annoyed, and grabbed her hand, pulling her over to the line in front of the shaved ice truck.

Peridot was the first up and knew exactly what she wanted. “Coconut, strawberry and bubblegum, please, large, no cream.” She pulled out her wallet before Amethyst butted in. 

“And a large green apple with cream!” Amethyst said to the man taking their orders and she pulled out her wallet, quickly handing over a twenty dollar bill and pushing away Peridot's wallet while she did. The man politely gave her back her change and presented them with their snow cones. Happily, the took theirs and began aimlessly walking around, Amethyst leading. 

“You know,” Peridot said in a confused tone. “I am not aware of why you purchased this for me with the currency you have. Why is the reason for your generosity?” She asked, staring down at her frozen treat, a spoon in the other hand. 

Amethyst wasn't using her spoon, and instead dove straight into her snow cone. “Cuz it's _sweet_ that you care about me.” She snorted with a mouthful of ice and gained an eye roll from Peridot at the pun. “Nah, I just felt like getting you one, since you've never had this company’s before and it's the best shaved ice I've had!” She took another mouthful and mumbled. “Isn't it?”

Peridot took a spoonful of her treat and smiled. “The ice is surprisingly soft and melts in your mouth, rather than it taking a long amount of time to and it does not require you to bite the ice since the texture is good, a plus for sensitive teeth like mine. The flavors are also very much, authentically like the real thing. I would be wrong to disagree that it's a very delightful snow cone, though I haven't had much.” 

Amethyst cackled, patting the clarinetist on the back. “You're always so technical, Peri!” Her laughter went a long a little too long for Peridot's liking, even though it was a pleasant sound. 

“Um, is that,” Peridot cleared her throat and nervously took another spoonful of her food. “Is that a bad thing?” Her voice came out shy and insecure. Suddenly she felt smaller. 

“Dude, are you serious?” Amethyst stopped her walking and turned so she could face Peridot completely, though Peridot didn't seem interested in looking at her. “I think it's cool! I mean, sometimes I don't understand the things you say but your talk is so _Peri_ and that's not a bad thing. It's kind of cute, actually.” 

The Hispanic girl's hand went back to touching Peridot, rubbing up and down her back, almost as if she were offering comfort and Peridot didn't know how to react, other than blushing and shoving her mouth with ice so she wouldn't have to say more. 

They continued walking for a short bit after that, but stopped when they found a bench underneath the bleachers and stayed there, just talking and enjoying each others company. It was always nice to have friends who understood what you did, unlike when you'd enthusiastically talk about your passion and have it get ignored and degraded. 

Amethyst examined Peridot, mostly forgetting what was coming out of the dorks mouth and just smiling and nodding. She tried to reason with herself on why she felt warmer and fuzzier when Peridot was around her and ignoring how beautiful she thought Peridot's green eyes were. 

Once they got back to their friends, they were on their own mostly because Jade and Obsidian were lip locked and Amethyst felt disappointed that she couldn't find Lapis but also happy because she was then able to be with Peridot. They didn't say much, they mostly watched the bands, used their phones or chatted it up during the transitions, often offering criticism. 

One of the bands stuck out to Amethyst a lot more. The show was called Stories of Unrequited Love and the first movement was with an exciting, upbeat song that seemed to tell the story of how two friends met. The second movement was more of a happy love ballad, the guard showing a guy moving to give the friend flowers and a love note, but finding her boyfriend. The third movement was focused in the main male of the guard, the music low, loud and grumpy, the guard man showing his anguish and by the end of the movement, the music become quieter, sweeter and it ended with the man I'm his knees, holding his heart, unresponsive and the guard girl playing the friend from before walked over, kneeled down and kissed him on the last accented measure of the show. 

Amethyst loved the show. It was perfectly executed and was a creatively thought out plan. It also made her think if she's ever been in that situation, where she was infatuated by a friend who turned out to be in a relationship. For unknown reasons, her eye darted to Peridot who was scrolling through her Tumblr, and she questioned why when prompted with a theme like unrequited love, she thought of little, taken friend. 

Lost in her thoughts, she noticed Peridot had turned her upper body so that she was able to have a quiet conversation and she uttered her criticisms to Amethyst, getting lost in the sound of her voice and resorting to spewing what came to her mind. Amethyst nodded along with her theories and wanted to punch herself for thinking of how nice it would be to grab her face and pull her in for a kiss to end the rambling. She smiled thinking of how cute and flustered Peridot would be had she some what she was thinking. But instead, she had to just listen and smile. Because friends didn't kiss friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was excited about the first part, then my excitement died in this part but oh well. Excited for the next part of this arc but I'm not sure when I'll be able to get it up. Luckily, I have it mentally outlined. Whatcha guys think??


	8. Invitational Awards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our gang gets their results and the award ceremony happens. Then descriptions of the bus ride home and we get more depth into Jasper's nature.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: possessiveness/jealousy/controlling nature and towards the end there's a mention of a character masturbating but no description into that.
> 
> Omg, sooo the first two parts of In too Deep was so :0 and Gem Drill specifically was so cute ahhh!! My Lil Peri! Don't cry about home world!! 
> 
> AND JASPER! My buff baby!!! :'000 I'm sad, but I feel she will come back. At least I hope.
> 
> And also this is the LAST chapter for the INVITATIONAL ARC and yes ik I could've just made it into a chapter that's actually over 3,000 words but idgaf. 
> 
> More Lapis in this, and Jasper comes in again. Wheeeeee. 
> 
> Also I have a band concert tomorrow (Tues) and I have a paper, late work n project due on Wed as well as a concert for my middle school and I'm going cuz I have pals (am a freshman) and my band director is their teacher soo, then next week is the last week of school n finals. Dunno how much I'll be able to post. :P

Three hours had passed and the judges had announced an intermission for about twenty minutes before so they could invite all the drum majors and the guard captains to accept their awards and the directors to receive their rankings. The bands were all chilling, some gathering the other members is they could watch the awards together. 

Amethyst was bouncing her foot and chewing off the purple nail polish on her nails. Her mind automatically went to guessing what they might have received, but pushing those thoughts back, she shook her head. She never believed it was a good thing to estimate their ranking, especially if it was lower than what you were expecting. 

“Do you think this will be the competition that qualifies us for state?” Peridot asked quietly, her eyes staring straight out to the judges in the corner of the field. “I pray to whoever that we make it to state.”

“I don't know. I really really hope so. I messed up, though. It wasn't even sound, it was mostly visual and obvious to notice. I pray I didn't ruin it for others.” Amethyst replied timidly, hiding her face a little more with her bangs and a nervous laugh came out of her. 

Peridot noticed the different mood in Amethyst. It was unlike herself. She was always confident and cocky and right now she just acted kind of insecure. “If we receive a terribly high rating, I think flutes might be to blame because their playing was highly unenergetic.” She looked down at her lap. “I think you did better than others for being new to our group, music, and show.” 

Not much acknowledged her compliment other than a smile from Amethyst but her head was still downcast. Now didn't feel like there time to see how cute Peridot was. Her thoughts went on forever and she could feel her friend getting uncomfortable in the silence and at being somewhat ignored. Sighing, Amethyst rubbed her temples. Why did she feel so bad about herself right now?

But stopping her from wallowing in self doubt, the announcer's voice came on to the stage and her began calling everyone back to the bleachers and that the awards ceremony was going to start. After about five minutes of people scattering around, all the drum majors and guard captains were walking to the middle of the field. They were all standing and from the left of her, she heard Jade screaming Obsidian's name out and cheering for him and Pearl. 

Everyone was now up on their feet, as most often they did when the awards ceremony started, so that they were respectful and could see. For Peridot, she never liked to stand but she didn't have any choice because of the number of tall people who chose to sit in front of her. 

“We will begin the 5th annual Barry High invitational awards ceremony. Please acknowledge our MBOD representative, Bob White.” The audience cheered and he took a step forward. “The names being read are in alphabetical order and are not in order of ranking or score.” 

He cleared his throat and Amethyst moved closer to Peridot as he began his list. They all clapped appreciatively for the other schools and especially their traditional ‘rival’ school. Their rival school was Vista Paradise and Peridot smirked when they were given a rating of good. 

“Receive a ranking of good, South…” Peridot saw Amethyst tense up next to her. “...High, Eagles!” The crowd gave their cheer and Amethyst visibly relaxed, though very slightly, because she knew that they were either next or the next next one. 

“Receive a rating of _excellent_ , the South Downtown Gemstones!” The announcer read off and Peridot watched as everyone relaxed and she could've sworn they were the loudest group to cheer. Amethyst immediately screamed and whooped, grabbing Peridot and wrapping her arms around her in a bone crushing hug and wouldn't let her go.

Peridot just stood there, her arms at her sides and her body tense at the shocking gesture of appreciation and joy from the other girl. But she'd be lying to herself if she said the hug didn't feel good. Amethyst's warmth all around her, her loose bang locks brushing her shoulders. She felt every bit of Amethyst pushed against her and her warm breath as she buried her head into Peridot's neck for a more sincere hug. It sent a shove down her spine and she never enjoyed physical contact, Jade was pretty much her best friend and she hugged her three times in this year so far. But some reason being in her arms made her feel excited.

Until Amethyst pulled away, her tight grip loosening. She stared into Peridot's green eyes and her expression was worried, not sure if she made the hug last too long but it quickly became an excited expression when the corners of her lips turned up into a big smile. “Peri! We did it! We're going to state!” 

Peridot's eyes were hazy and she shifted them to her black marching shoes. “Yes, indeed we are going. To state.” She played with her pant legs. “If we had not discovered you to replace Jason, I believe this would not have happened without altering the whole second movement.” She admitted honestly. “None of our saxes could've done it and it just wouldn't have sounded right with a different instrument. Thank you for joining us and coming here.” 

Amethyst winked at her. “No, thank _you,_ Peri. Thanks for being the talentedest duet partner I've had.” She shushed Peridot when she saw her opening her mouth to correct her grammar. “Dude, just accept the compliment.”

They shared a smile and after the awards ended, laughing as Obsidian and Pearl were running to go rip off their school's banner (a tradition with a lot of marching bands). It was a while until everyone was settled on the bus, all worn out and tired.

Mr. A approached Peridot before they were going to leave. “Hey Dot. Do you feel okay? How is your leg?” He asked in a hushed voice. 

Peridot touched her own leg instinctively. She hasn't fallen or anything, she felt okay. “Yeah, I'm alright.” She mumbled. “I'm just thrilled we qualified.”

The young director laughed and patted her on the back. “Oh Peridot. You did great.” With that, he got up and went to his seat in the front of the bus and told the driver that she could start. The trip back became more and more quiet as it became later she people got tired.

Sadly for Peridot, Lapis moved over to the seat in front of them and made Peridot move so she and Amethyst could talk. The two were happy and giggling. Lapis was pretty hands on, Amethyst discovered. They had their legs in the aisles and were leaning in close to each other. The auxiliary girl placed her hand on the bigger girl's thick thighs, squeezing it carefully. Amethyst looked back up to Lapis and Lapis’ eyes showed her interest. 

Though the girl in front of her was extremely beautiful, she still felt a little weary. “Do you want to go on a date with me?” Amethyst blurted out. 

Blue eyes widened and then regained it's cocky look. “I mean, sure, whatever you want.” Lapis answered, not removing her hand at all. “I don't care too much though, if you wanna just ‘hang’ then I won't mind.” Her eyebrows wiggled. 

“How about a double date?” Jade butted in, sensing the awkwardness from Amethyst. “Dian and I have been planning on going to dinner soon. Actually, no.” She stopped herself momentarily and turned her head to look over Amethyst and at Peridot. “Hey Dot! Want to go on a triple date?” 

Groaning, Peridot looked over and was confused. “What?” 

“Oh yeah!” Amethyst's raspy voice filled with more energy and she used talking to Peridot as an excuse to pull away from Lapis’ hand and she moved closer to talk to Peridot. “Peri, want to go on a triple date with Jadesidian and Lapis and I?!” Her voice filled with excitement. 

A small laugh came from Jade at the mention of their couple name. She patted Obsidian to pay attention. “Don't you think that would be fun?” She asked him and all he did was nodded in agreement. “See! Come on, Dot, it'll be fun!” 

Twitching, Peridot felt very anxious at idea of being on a date with Jasper while being with Amethyst and Lapis too. It felt like some anger was building up in her and that she didn't want to go at all. Still, she did oddly want to know how their date would go, but actually being there herself made her feel odd. 

“Yeah!” Amethyst's voice came through again. “I told you that we can go double dating when I find someone. Let's do it!” 

“Very well then. I will consult with my girlfriend if she could have time on her schedule to engage in this event, though she is acting out against me-” 

“Jasper just replied! I told her that you were nervous and she said she'd love to and that she's making it up to you? But anyway, let's plan this thing!” Jade exited the messaging app and opened her mobile calendar. 

The bulky Hispanic girl grinned. She tried to look at the calendar while Jade read off the band related events. Once they decided on a day and time (Peridot and Obsidian stayed quiet, Obsidian agreeing with everything as per normal and Peridot just too confused to say anything else). Next, they tried to decide on the restaurant and attire. 

“Fancy or lowkey?” Amethyst focused on Lapis’ opinion, since she was the one who state she hasn't been on a date in a long while and neither had Amethyst but she wanted this to be Lapis-centric. 

“I haven't gotten all dolled up in a while.” Lapis considered. “I think we could dress fancy, if you would, but I don't care much for the meal, as long as it's good.” She bit her lip slightly, feeling very much appreciated from them caring about her opinion.

It was decided that they would go on a Sunday night to a disclosed location that Amethyst, Obsidian and Jasper would surprise their dates with, even though Jade was pretty sure she knew where they were going to dine. After all the details were given out, Lapis sadly bid bye to Amethyst when she went back over to Pearl.

Amethyst was listening to her music, one earbud in, one out and singing along with her raspy voice while Peridot was just sitting and typing rapidly on her phone to someone. When Amethyst caught a quick glance at the messages, all she could see was that they were long and the contact name had a heart emoji on it. Eventually, Peridot growled and tucked her phone away and was resting her eyes. Enjoying the sweet music coming from her friend. “Got any requests?” Amethyst broke Peridot out from resting. 

“Do you know Can't Pin Me Down by the female artist Marina Diamondis?” Peridot responded, eyes still close. 

“Oh, um, sure.” Amethyst pulled up the song so she could listen to it and sing alone. “You might think I'm one thing, but I am another. You can't call my bluff, time to back off, motherfucker.” Her voice was lowered and soft, watching as Peridot seemed concentrated on the lyrics, mumbling some of them down her voice, especially the chorus. She didn't realize when Peridot actually fell asleep and went quiet though, until she felt her head fall onto her shoulder. 

Feeling her heart constrict, Amethyst looked down at Peridot and a smile tugged at her lips from how peaceful and cute she looked. Her bangs were falling out of the pins and were beginning to move to the front of her face. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was almost had a calming effect Amethyst. She eventually stopped singing and just let her music play while she stared down. 

She didn't notice Jade staring at her from across them, snuggled into her boyfriend, looking serious. 

.

Eventually Amethyst fell asleep as well, and she tended to sleep hugging things. She was awoken when they were parked at the school, Peridot squirming and pulling her arms off of her. “Amethyst. May you please release me of your hold so we may proceed off the bus?” She asked tired. 

Amethyst pulled away, rubbing her eyes and stretching when Peridot got up and gave her room. “We at school?” Her voice was slurred and full of sleep.

There was something about how Amethyst's messy hair and sleepy eyes made her look but Peridot could quite think of it. “Yes,” Peridot picked up her clarinet from the seat and began walking down the aisle. “It would be in our best interest to get off of this vehicle and unload the percussion.” Amethyst nodded and followed Peridot with her saxophone. 

They got off the bus and put their stuff into the band room before helping the percussion out and damn, Peridot never realized how strong Amethyst was until she saw her muscles flexed with moving the marimbas. Peridot herself was always given small stuff because her size and strength. 

When Peridot walked back into the band room, she saw an unexpected guest. 

There stood Jasper, wearing blue jeans and her purple football letterman jacket, with her name sprawled across it. She was wearing makeup, weirdly since it was almost 12AM, but she could tell because the whiter patches on her face was not nearly as noticeable as before. She was holding a bouquet of assorted roses and carnations, and she was showing off her white teeth with her big grin. 

The short girl just stood there, gaping and not knowing what was going on. So, Jasper took the initiative to run up to her girlfriend and engulf her in her big arms. “Congratulations, _mí amor._ ” Her voice dropped lower as she switched to Spanish. “I'm so sorry I was being an asshole earlier. You were right. Forgive me?” She pulled away and held onto Peridot's petite shoulders and the flowers.

Blinking, Peridot barely had time to process what happened and when she remembered that she had told herself she wouldn't let herself forgive her that easily. “If you think that-” She looked up into Jasper's eyes, ones that looked darker than normal, some kind of glint in her eyes. That was unfamiliar to the usual smitten look she often had, and Peridot sudden felt as if she was lost and no longer felt she had the energy to fight against her girlfriend, even though she knew in the back of her mind that she probably should. Something about her girlfriend's look, it was almost haunting. “That I wouldn't forgive you, then, uh, you clearly don't know how irresistible you are to me.” She cracked an awkward grin. 

This seemed to please Jasper and she handed the flowers to Peridot. “Wow thanks. These organic life forms will do nicely in my bedroom.” She inhaled their scent and her girlfriend picked her up and twirled her. 

“I love you.” Jasper's deep voice said softly. Moving her head to listen to Peridot's steady heartbeat, she kissed her cheek gently. 

None of them even noticed the audience until they started talking out. “Get a room, Dot!” “Goals!” “How sweet!” Jade also appeared next to then and she had a sly expression. “Hey babes, why this occasion?” Her hands were on her hips and her voice were teasing. “Are y'all getting married or something?” Her loud laugh boomed around the room. 

While Peridot hid her warm face, Jasper accepted the teasing and owned up to it. “Hehe, not quite yet. We had a little argument and I realized I was being dumb. And you guys qualified for state! Congrats!” She pulled Peridot closer to her chest. 

“Oh damn, so today's not the day you're running away and getting hitched?” Jade joked around. 

“Don't worry, it'll happen but we're just a little too young now.” Jasper carefully put the small girl back onto her feet and leaned down, finally kissing Peridot square on the lips. All the apprehension Peridot had with forgiving Jasper vanished with the touch of their lips against one another. They were full of passion until Peridot heard Amethyst cackle. 

“Eww, Peri, go home and make out in private!” Amethyst's raspy voice screamed out to her, wavering sligjtly and Jasper chuckled, but turned to look at the source of the joke. 

“She’s very public, ain’t she?” Jasper's voice was confused due to her not having met the saxophonist before. “Who're you?”

The interaction between the two was making Peridot uncomfortable and she didn't like it. Amethyst was flirty and Jasper was jealous. Her mind kept thinking of the worst events happening. 

Stretching, Amethyst sighed and dropped down to the floor heavily, folding up her uniform on the hanger. “I'm Amethyst. Peri’s duet partner?” 

“Oh,” Jasper examined Peridot, her sharp eyes full of wonder and she pulled her body further away from Peridot but kept her arm around her. “Never heard of you, but hello.”

Faking an offended look, Amethyst gasped and put a hand over her heart, her mouth in the shape of an ‘o’. “Wow, thanks Peri! Not like I let you stay with me when you got hammered!” Her laughter came once more and she got back up to put away her uniform and shako into the uniform room. 

The small clarinetist’s body tensed up slightly and Jasper's grip became more loose, her smile faded away into a straight tight line. Peridot told her that her she had left and that her dad picked her up. Jasper was never too fond of Peridot being alone with most individuals, with some exceptions. Jasper's expression told her that she wanted to talk. 

.

Amethyst walked back to the uniform room shaking her head nervously. Seeing Jasper and Peridot kissing always made her on edge. Not like it should, because Peridot was just her friend and Jasper was her girlfriend. 

She never felt like Peridot was where she should be. Opposites attract and all, bit those two were insanely different and they ended up dating. It didn't feel normal to Amethyst. But it didn't matter how she felt because she was only her friend. 

.

With a phone call to Peridot's parents, she informed them that she was going to stay at Jasper's house and Jasper drove her home, the ride was unusually silent and Peridot really did not appreciate that. Usually they sang badly to the songs on the radio, but Peridot couldn't even hear it because of the low volume. Jasper's hands were gripping the wheel relatively tightly and her right hand was actually on the wheel, not on Peridot's thigh where it usually rested while they drove. 

Once they got to the house and up to Jasper's room, Jasper began undressing. Peridot placed the flowers down. First was her letterman jacket, which was the only top she was wearing, then her jeans, so she was only dressed in her sports bra and her boxers (she didn't wear feminine underwear too often). It was known that Peridot always blushed, but she felt even warmer because she didn't like the silence and the unfamiliar situation. 

The burly athlete simply plopped down to her bed and got under the covers, making a gesture for Peridot to lay near her, so she did. They just laid there for a while, until Jasper's deep voice came through. “So what was your, uh, _little friend,_ talking about?” 

Ugh, the talking. “When we went to Jesica’s party, I may have dialed her cellular number and informed her of my dilemma of wanting to leave but being conscious enough to not leave with someone intoxicated. I stayed at her house overnight.” 

Silent Jasper was always worse than yelling Jasper. “Why would you do that? And not tell me, especially?” Her straight voice sounded very harsh and also her normal tone at the same time. 

“You do not have control over whom I choose to hang out and talk with.” 

This set Jasper off and her eyebrows furrowed into a look that make a shiver run down Peridot's spine. “No, but you're mine.”

“I am my own perso-”

“But you're my girlfriend! You are mine! No one else can _touch_ you! You belong to me!” Jasper's voiced raised with edge and Peridot felt rather scared. Possessiveness and jealousy from your significant other was always glamorized, being shown as a way to prove love, but Peridot never liked it. Jasper was a sweet girlfriend. She tried to be gentle with Peridot and never got tired of her. But when she got jealous, her attitude was always rotten. This felt different though, Jasper seemed angrier.

There was more silence. Peridot's ears were ringing and repeating all the things they said. Heavy breaths came from Jasper's plump lips. “Yes.” Peridot started up, not wanting to say what she was going to but knowing it would please her girlfriend and calm her down. “I am yours. I am sorry. I did not sleep in her bed. I won’t stay over at her house. I am sorry.” 

This seemed to calm Jasper and she cracked a toothy smile to Peridot. “You're my little treasure, you're so precious to me. You know I just want to love you. I love you.” 

“Yes.” Jasper seemed to like it when Peridot would go along with her and what she said. “I love you.” She grabbed Jasper's shoulders and Jasper knew that sign and she grabbed a hold of Peridot's slim waist, hoisting her atop of her. Jasper's put one of her big hands, the white one on Peridot's cheek and Peridot pushed her lips against the fatter lips. They kissed like that until Jasper began bucking her hips and Peridot feigned tiredness and was let down. She pretended to sleep while Jasper had fun with herself. For an unknown reason, she felt dirty and wrong, even though all they did was make out. She has stood by Jasper's side while she relieved herself before and that never felt wrong either. 

Then she realized she felt wrong for going along with her girlfriend's possessiveness. It's not like she's ever disagreed with Jasper or that this was the first time she's gotten envious, but this was the first time she claimed Peridot as property and it didn't make herself feel good. And yet, she went along with it. Because not being able to do things freely was bad, but losing the only girl who'd ever seen her as beautiful and the only one who had loved her was much worse than bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel bad for making Peri accept Jasper's jealousy and stuff cuz like she's being v controlling n idk I feel bad but oh well. Also, yes we will see the triple date between Jadesidian, Lapithyst, and Jaspidot. And I've always seen Lapithyst as a crack ship, like one that didn't make any sense and I still think it doesn't but Amethyst is the one who saved her from falling so hey, interaction lol. 
> 
> I've been meaning to make more stories relating to this universe to post in the actual series, like more about their passions and also tell the story of how Peri and Jas became a thing but I haven't been writing much, ahdabxu.


	9. Three's A Crowd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaspidot, Lapithyst, and Jadesidian go on their fancy dress up triple date at a casual diner. Jasper and Amethyst interact more and more of Jasper is seem and kind of explained.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly thought j wouldn't post this till next week. It's sloppy but I think it turned out okay. I always get excited about writing a certain chapter, then it just dies. But it okay, I suppose. I'm so tired, I'm in choir and I took my final which literally took 10/90 minutes but whatever, cuz I could finish this. Likely, updates will come faster because today is my last day and hey! I survived freshman year! Go me! Next is band and then Spanish so I ain't worried about those finals, yay. I do have to play at commencement for my sister's graduation. Not so yay. 
> 
> And I'm sure hungry. Kill me.

Amethyst woke up late on the Saturday afternoon, anxious and excited at the same time. She moved from her bed and grudgingly went to brush her teeth and comb her semi-dry long hair. After her teeth were clean and there were no more hair knots, she went back to her bed and turned on the television, browsing her phone before she went down to make some late breakfast. Smiling, she opened the text from Lapis. 

_I’m going to get myself pretty for you!  
Aren't you lucky? _

**You're always pretty, what you talking about.**

The two of them flirted but didn't talk too much at rehearsals, which made Amethyst worried that it'd get awkward even though neither of them were awkward people. Still, she had Jade who could help her break the ice. 

Amethyst saw a text from Peridot, asking what time they were all supposed to meet up at the restaurant. Ugh, there was also this whole thing with Peridot that had Amethyst conflicted. Every time she would get near or touch Peridot for more than a second, Peridot would squirm, which never seemed to happen before. And whenever she talked to Peridot, her heart sped up and she couldn't stop smiling. Usually Amethyst used to feel like this when she had a crush, but surely that wasn't the case.

Because she had a crush on Lapis. That was obvious. She was a attracted to her in many different ways and she was even going on a date with her later. But then why was she always admiring Peri when the two of them were in a room together?

.

Lapis jumped off her bed and walked into her large walk in closet. She scoured through everything, looking for an outfit that'll make the other's jaw drop and Amethyst drool. She hasn't been on a date in forever, and when she did, it was never proper. It felt nice to make herself look even better and to be treated nicely by someone.  
.

Jade paced in her living room, running her chin in thought. She should've been getting ready for her date and all, but she was thinking of how smoothly things would run today. For the past few days and even the weeks before, Amethyst had been giving Peridot a certain look, and it was one Jade was familiar with. The look she'd always catch her present boyfriend giving her. The look she watched three couple in her calculus class give across the rim before they started dating. The look Obsidian still gave her when he'd catch sight of her. 

What was weird was that Amethyst wasn't giving Lapis that look. Only Peridot. But she was taken! Taken for almost a year...  
.

Peridot's fear for Jasper disappeared the next few days, as she acted like herself, the bubbly, gentle romantic. An assumption was made that they both had a long and stressful day and Jasper's brain hadn't really controlled her jealousy. She was forgiven. 

Right now, she had an hour to get ready for her date. She was informed that the attire was formal. Having to move downstairs because there was no full body mirror in her room. A grunt came from her while she stared at herself. Her slim, curvy, hourglass type figure was hard for her to work with. Pants always were tight on her hips but baggy at the calves. Then again, she didn’t like them being tight around there because you could always see the bulkiness of her prosthetic leg. 

Tops were annoying too, just because she was indecisive and often Jasper influence her decisions. Usually, she wore a baggy shirt that Amethyst always called her ‘nerd shirts’. They had a design on it of either some show or game she was into. She also had various band shirts from not only high school but weirdly, middle school. She hasn’t really grown much. Of course, she did have more shirts of different styles. Collared, long sleeved, sweaters. 

Her selection of more feminine clothing was slim, but it was there. When her cousin would visit, she would insist on taking her to the mall and stores like Forever 21 or Q and buying her what she chose. The collection of clothes was mostly crop tops, frilly tank tops, and skinny jeans. Daisy dukes were minimum in quantity, but she did have them. It wasn't like she didn't like traditional feminine clothes, in fact, sometimes she longed to wear them, because maybe the girls who wore similar clothing would come up and compliment her or talk to her.

And on days when it reached the high temperature days, she wished she could wear shorts. More in the summer, she would wear ruggedy basketball shorts around her house since everyone there was already aware of her leg and has seen it multiple times. But rarely has she gone to actually wearing any in public. 

Sighing loudly, she stared at herself and walked back up to her room and roamed her closet. She picked up a few of the more feminine clothes and groaned helplessly. Everyone in their little party of six already knew about her leg, including Lapis as she had visited her in the hospital with the others when the accident first happened. Then again, getting treated as weak, no matter who, that always seemed to happen. 

Except with Amethyst. Amethyst found out in such an eruptive way, but she hadn't seemed too pitiful for her. Even Jasper, once she first got her leg, she always seemed to be walking on eggshells around her. Peridot was always clumsy and Jasper would always try to ‘protect’ her, doing things as insisting she hold her hand while crossing the street like children do, and even making her sit in the back of her car. This went on until Peridot finally yelled at her for that but the pity still lingered. 

She grabbed some dress slacks that were always too tight on her hip area, just enough to explore her sexuality without seeming too overboard and a short sleeved red collared shirt tucked into her pants. The makeup box in the bathroom of her room was almost screaming at her. Only a light layer of foundation and contour was applied, with her super stay red lipstick as well. Yawning, she brushed out her hair and attempted to style it in a different sort of well gelling it back and moving so parts here and there. She wasn't too pleased but it would do. 

Darn. Still thirty minutes until Jasper was supposed to pick her up. Why was she always early to finish things?

.

Jasper picked her and was dressed in a red Audrey Hepburn like dress, with a low neckline, showing her cleavage and Peridot was glad she wasn't wearing boots or heels, because now Peridot was a little closer to her height, with her high boots. The long, usually messy hair was put into a big, fancy updo and she was wearing her usual makeup, along with red eye shadow and dark red wine lipstick. She presented her with organic plants of various colors and smells. Peridot put it in water before they left and when she hopped into the pickup trick, Jasper pulled her aggressively towards her, making her squeal. 

“I love you,” Jasper breathed out, holding her girlfriend close over the shift and control keys. “I just love you so much. P, I can't believe how much you make my heart melt every time I see you and when you smile at me and everyday that I can make you happy is another day that I love being me and I love being with you and I don't ever want this to end and I can't believe you're all mine.” She tilted Peridot's sharp chin to press their lips together passionately. 

Peridot gasped into Jasper's mouth while she grabbed the back of her head and pulled her closer, the shift pressing onto her stomach and Peridot tried to pull away to breath clearer but Jasper was too into it. Eventually though, Jasper pulled away and moved her mouth to her neck while Peridot inhaled sharply. 

“Can we be permitted to go?” Peridot groaned when Jasper rubbed her teeth against her sensitive skin and while she enjoyed the way she gritted her teeth against her neck, she pushed her away, moving far back into her seat. “I thought maybe we could just have a nice, romantic night, at least at first.” She pulled down the mirror of the car and tried to fix her hair and examining her neck. 

Jasper grunted and pulled away, a stoic expression on her face. “Sorry I just wanted to love you…” Her voice trailed off and she didn't flicker any glance to her petite girlfriend. A sigh came from Peridot's lips and guilt built up in her. “I love you too! Do not start with this stuff! We are driving to attend a date with my friends and I do not want to look ruffled up! What will the others say?” Peridot crossed her arms against her chest and noticed the way Jasper's hands grabbed at the steering wheel tightly.

“Then they'll know you're mine and won't send you any glances!” Jasper growled.

Clearing her throat, she had no idea what she was saying. “Trust me, there will be a lot of time for these pleasurable activities and it should be after the dinner. I do believe that is an acceptable time, and you?” She laughed nervously and smiled when Jasper's face lit up and she place her hand on Peridot's thigh. 

This was okay. 

.

All the couples were happily talking to their dates, but none talking outside their comfort zones. Jade would have but she was so in love with her boyfriend all the time that the two for lost in each other. Amethyst though it was disgustingly cute. But she was more focused on her own date. 

Lapis was wearing a dark blue short, flowy dress that had a low neckline. She also wore a necklace with a pretty blue stone on it and earrings to match. She was holding onto Amethyst's hand from across the table, smiling widely for no reason except interest for Amethyst. The talked for a while until the waitress went up and asked to take their orders, speaking broken English with a heavy Spanish accent. 

Amethyst decided to go easy on her. She switched into Spanish and let the words flow smoothly from her plump lips and ordered for her date and the waitress look thankful. Jasper was staring at her and she didn't know why until Jasper order for her and Peridot in Spanish as well. The two smiled at each other. 

“¿También hablas español ?” Jasper asked and the two of them learned that they were both Mexican, and even specifically, Oaxacan, but Jasper had an indigenous background, explaining her darker skin, while Amethyst was purely Mexican. Lapis and Peridot were left out of the conversation while the two chatted in Spanish and this didn't particularly bother Lapis, but it surely bothered Peridot. 

The blonde was moving around in her seat her arms crossed and her eyes shooting fierce glares at the two Hispanics chatting it up. She was only able to catch a couple of words, because she was in Honors Spanish 3-4 at school but it took her too long to piece the words with the definitions and the two spoke so fluently that she wasn't able to catch up. Her sighs and groans were loud and Lapis took notice but said no word, aside from nudging Amethyst with her foot under the table. 

Breaking from the conversation slightly, Amethyst directed her attention to Lapis and then Lapis had it directed to Peridot, who had frustration pure on her face. Amethyst tried to end the conversation as quick as she could without being too irrupt and mumbled under her breath. “Su novia se ve frustrada.” (“Your girlfriend looks frustrated.”) 

The hazel-green, unknown eyes turned to look at her girlfriend and then she turned back to Amethyst's blue-silver eyes. “Peridot es siempre frustrada.” (“Peridot is always frustrated.”) 

At the mention of her name, Peridot pulled at Jasper's hand. “Hey! Do not dare to discuss me indirectly! Who is your real date here?” Peridot's voice screeched, pouting at this point and she looked down at her food. “I don't want to be talked about… When I can't understand you.” She mumbled and ran a hand through her hair subconsciously. 

Laughter followed and she felt even more uncomfortable before the two turned back to their dates. Jasper's eyes were trained on hers and she had a smirk on her face. For some reason, that made peridot a little uneasy and she laughed weirdly. “So, P, what's been going on?” Jasper asked as if they had just met and were on their first date. They had many conversations before about pretty much everything. 

“I have been meaning to consult you about this but.” Peridot leaned on her palm and tried to look bored and unamused. “At our last invitational, Jade jokingly mentioned us getting married. You said no but mentioned future plans of eloping.” She cleaned her throat as she watched Jasper's smile became wider. “Would you actually really want to marry me some day?” 

“Yes.” Jasper wasted no time to answer. “Not now, we're both still in high school but… Someday. Every time I date someone, it’s a trial run to see if I’d want to be with them everyday of my life later on.” An image of Peridot in a little apron, cooking her breakfast in the morning popped up, despite that Parisot typically wasn’t very domestic. She sent her a slightly nervous grin. “I’ll never stop loving you. You're mine.” 

This made Peridot uncomfortable. Not just because of the lace of possessiveness in the statement, but also because she had never actually imagined marrying Jasper. Honestly, she hasn't ever thought of herself getting married. Of course, she saw Harry Potter themed weddings and made a note that she should do something like that, but the thought of her having a ceremony and even eloping with anyone made her squirmy. Her grandparents would joke about arranging one with a nice Indian boy but she had already dismissed that idea many times. 

Peridot was taking too long to respond, for Jasper's fancy, so Jasper continued. “Why? Have you never thought of that?” Jasper's brows were furrowed and her smile had faded. That look made Peridot know that she wasn't allowed to say that no, she really hasn't thought of it. 

“O-of course!” Peridot's voice wavered and she had to clear her throat. “My grandparents constantly communicate their want of me to find a spouse! Who else would I marry if not you?” Her voice trailed off, becoming less and less confident with the whole idea of marriage. “I am yours, as you always say.” She shot her an awkward flirty look. 

As with everything, Jasper ate into it. “You’d look pretty hot in a mermaid dress.” She grinned and Peridot ducked her head, a blush forming on her lips. A wedding gown, walking down the aisle with her leg while everyone watched her? Ugh. 

On the other side, Lapis and Amethyst were back to chatting each other up and sending flirtatious looks to one another. They were getting to know each other by the littlest things and Amethyst discovered that Lapis played the flute but gave up on it because it became harder for her to breathe over time, so she quit. 

Their food arrived and Lapis immediately pulled her skillet closer to herself, but accidentally burned herself. Snapping her finger away, she let out a small cry and stared down at it. Amethyst noticed immediately and pulled her hand to her, kissing it. “Be careful darling, it's almost as hot as you.” Her flirtatious nature made Lapis feel better immediately. 

It didn't make Peridot feel better, however. Hot, fierce glares were all that Peridot could produce. She watched Amethyst and Lapis giggling to themselves. This is, until Lapis noticed a toy grab machine by the front and Amethyst began to brag about how good she was at those. The two got up hurriedly and went to the game machine. 

Something made Peridot feel angry. Amethyst always said that she loved talking to Peridot and that she held entertaining conversations and here she was, paying no attention to her. Barely any bites were taken from her cinnamon pancakes and eggs. All that was happening was her poking at it and she looked across to Jasper's plate for a second. She had already eaten most of her meal and was on her third drink again. 

It was felt like forever to Peridot until the couple came back and when they did, she was less than enthused to see them. Lapis was bolding a little blue cartoon fish and Amethyst had a green, angry looking dog. 

Then, Amethyst thrust a purple, smiling cat into Peridot's face. “Excuse me?”

“Aw, this is for you, Peri!” Amethyst kept it held out for Peridot to grab at and after what seemed like hours, a small hand went to at it. She didn't do much but put it to her side. “It was so cute, it reminded me of you, so I just had to get it!

“Wow thanks.” Peridot offered a thankful smile despite that she thought it was unusual for Amethyst to give her this. Her eyes avoided Jasper, though, because she could see and feel the intensity of the look shot at her with her hazel, cat like eyes. Her heart sped up from both the look given to her and also at the gesture. Clearly, Amethyst didn't think too much of it and the two sat down and continued their meals.

Amethyst was so lost in Lapis’ beauty that she didn't take time to notice Peridot staring at the two with disgust and definitely didn't notice the way Jasper leaned over, grabbed her chin aggressively, and kissed her hot on the lips from across the table or the tight grip Jasper had on her thin wrist. 

“It'd be pretty cool if you, you know, paid attention to me.” Jasper growled and scratched her fork against her now empty plate. “Your girlfriend.” This made Peridot frown. 

Some courage built up in her. It was a weird relationship between the two. Peridot would win all the arguments which would usually result in Jasper apologizing because she was very prideful. But sometimes, Jasper would get in this mood that Peridot didn't know what to do about. Jasper looked intimidating to many people, but Peridot had been so used to her, even her ‘resting bitch face’ and she had seen what a dork she could be. But this was when Jasper was really intimidating. 

Because she would make everyone seem smaller. Peridot always felt small around her girlfriend, because she was, but she felt uncomfortable and insignificant when she was in that mood. Her eyes seemed to get darker and malicious. The tone of her voice was intimidating and deep and her muscles seemed to bulge more than usual and Peridot felt afraid. This happened when she'd get jealous and way over possessive. 

Fear built in her stomach as she prepared herself with the courage and words she wanted to say. Earlier in the evening, Jasper had been talking to Amethyst and completely ignoring her presence and when Peridot got sidetracked, she was the one who got yelled at. Hypocrisy made Peridot angry. “Why is it that you find purpose in communicating with her and disregarding me, but you think it's illogical for me to do the same?” She stared straight at Jasper now, her voice quiet but serious and her face was neutral. 

The dark eyes watched her with such intensity that made a shiver run down her. Maybe it was the new medication she had been taking for insomnia that caused this behavior to be more frequent. _“Shut up.”_ Her booming voice growled quietly. “You’re mine. You should be paying attention to me. We're the ones on a date.” 

This response didn't please Peridot but all her courage fell from her and she was uncomfortable about continuing. She cleared her throat and her voice cracked when she spoke up again. “Right. I apologize, J. Let's forget it. I do indeed want to have a good date with you, my girlfriend.” 

After they had their intimate dinner time between the couples, they all ordered dessert and began conversing as a group. Jade started it, as she always did and smile at the individual couples, taking pictures and noting the way they looked aesthetically pleasing together. “God, Lapis, Amethyst, stop being so cute! Ugh!” Jade faked offense and laughed. 

“Oh please.” Peridot mumbled under her breath, catching the attention of Amethyst. The purple haired girl stared at her with confusion and Peridot regretted saying it because she was feeling fiery under her gaze.  
“Aw, don't be jealous, Peri.” Amethyst retorted and then shot a look to Jasper and directed her words to her now. “You were right. She's pretty hostile, ain't she?” She snickered to herself and Jasper just laughed a small laugh.They were all pictures and jokes until their desserts arrived. 

Jasper pushed the plate towards Peridot. “For my babe and I, a sundae that's almost as sweet as herself.” She shot a wink to her girlfriend and Peridot rolled her eyes in an affectionate way. Such a romantic and yet can be so aggressive. They were eating, Jasper insisting on feeding Peridot with her spoon and when she would have her own scoop, she licked it in a seductive manner that Peridot simply responded to by laughing nervously. Other than that, they were having a great time in each other's company until Amethyst butted in. 

She shoved a plate of half of a cake filled with chocolate pudding to Peridot and beamed. “You want some, Peri? Thought I'd let you have some, since it's ya favorite and such.” She seemed proud of herself and Lapis just watched with a smile, finding cuteness in Amethyst's friendly attempt.

Some reason, Peridot didn't exactly accept it. “No thanks, but wow thanks.” She shot a half smile and Amethyst just turned away.

“Oh, sweet of you, looking out for my girl…” Jasper's voice was towards Amethyst but it trailed away and she just stared down at the bowl of ice cream. How did some random duet partner remember that about her girlfriend but she didn't? Why was she always forgetting and forgetting? It may only just be pudding now, but there were times when she didn't know her girlfriend as much as she thought. The made Jasper rather quiet until the end of the dinner and how she coped with these feelings was with anger and jealousy, even if it didn't make sense. 

They all said their goodbyes and took one last group photo and the second when Peridot got into the car, Jasper spoke up. “This is the longest we've been without breaking up for a day or two.” 

Peridot's head popped up and she concealed her shock. “Yes.” She stated. “That's why I conceived this plans for the _fun_ activities to start.” She purred and smirked.

They made it into Jasper's bedroom and they laid on the bed, just kissing and running their hands up and down one another, mostly Jasper asking for more of Peridot to be revealed and tugging on the buttons of Peridot's shirt, setting them loose. Jasper pulled apart from her petite girlfriend to stared down into her eyes and Peridot wasn't too flustered. She was okay with showing her chest. It was her lower body exposed, with her prosthetic and everything that made her uncomfortable. 

The bulky girl moved her kisses to Peridot's slim neck and ran her hand up and down her exposed body. “Have you ever thought about cheerleading?” The question fell from Jasper's lips and was mumbled into her neck. If Peridot wasn't practically pinned down from Jasper, she would've sat up but instead she just calmed herself from her grunts and pulled away from her girlfriend a bit. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Well,” She placed a gentle kiss on where her shoulder met her neck. “You'd be such a good cheerleader, babe.” She moved back down to biting and licking at the sensitive skin.

Peridot groaned at the feeling it elicit but tried not to let herself get distracted by the things she was feeling. “How?”

“For one,” Jasper gazed into Peridot's green eyes and Peridot actually felt a little uncomfortable. Still straddling Peridot's curvy hips, she sat up and in one smooth motion, threw off her dress. She let her hair loose and smirked at the way Peridot was examining her body. “You already have the cheerleader body.” 

Her hands moved to grasp at Peridot's chest and the statement made Peridot frustrated.”What does that even mean?!” She slapped at Jasper's hand despite her gasp when she felt the cold hands move to grab, but being as slick as she was, Jasper grabbed her wrist and the other one in one hand and pinned them atop her head. 

“You’re hot. And I'd love to see you in those cheer uniforms, bouncing up and down for me while I make a touchdown and lead our team to victory.” The deep voice said sweetly and she placed a kiss the Peridot's thin lips. 

“But I already do that.” Peridot deadpanned. “I already cheer and clap for you when I'm playing stand tunes. Why would being a cheerleader be different?” 

Kisses were again being placed on her neck and were moving lower and lower towards her chest and Peridot felt incredibly warm. “Because when you're in your marching uniform, I can't see any of you!” She sat up and held Peridot in her arms, switching positions in a swift motion, Peridot sitting on top of her and her straddling her, or as much as she could with her small legs over the thick hips. 

Arms were crossed over her small chest. “You can see my talent.” She pointed out and huffed. “Explain why I would give up my talent and passion and friends to become a _cheerleader_.” Jasper groaned at the switched positions and the fact that she wasn't doing anything to her.

Her arms swept up and grabbed at Peridot, making her squeal in shock and pulling her in for a passionate kiss before breaking away to respond, hands still on each side of the little face. “Who says you have to give it up? Why not do both?”

“Ha!” Peridot snorted sarcastically. “How would I do that?” She understood why Jasper pulled her in for a kiss and took control, as much as she could as kissed Jasper again full of tongue and teeth. It was sloppy and messy but Jasper liked it when she got like that, even though Peridot thought too much saliva wasn't the pleasant. 

“Just wear the cheer uniform, do your cheer performance, grab your clarinet and shako and march with the rest of them. Then play stand tunes _while_ you're cheering. Easy!” The Hispanic joked and made Peridot cackle. Their laughter died down and Peridot became more nervous exploring Jasper without the banter. She's seen Jasper's body in her underwear before, but they've never really been undressed _together_. Actually, only Peridot's shirt was unbuttoned,but she was exposed and she felt a little insecure about even her chest while she looked down at her girlfriend's.

After they had their time together, they were cuddled up after Jasper had finished herself off. “I'm serious though, babe. You could be my little cheerleader.” Strong arms were all around Peridot. “I think you should go to the cheer workshop at the end of the season. They can get you ready for next year.”

“I don't think so, J.” Peridot pursed her lips and stared off in the distance, putting her hand over Jasper's. “I think it'll just do marching band. It's more my style.”

A hand pulled her shoulder and turned her so she was face to face with her girlfriend. “You're signed up and paid for. I'll drive you and be there with extra kisses for afterwards when you're all tired out.” Jasper thought she was doing a good deed for Peridot but it was actually only good for herself. “Next week, Jes and her squad said you can show them what you can do and they'll show you ways to practice.” Despite that Jasper was back to her smiling, bright self, something didn't quite feel right. 

Faking enthusiasm, Peridot smiled anxiously. “Oh yeah…” Her voice was soft. “Thank you. I love you.” This, of course made Jasper incredibly happy. “You're so considerate.”

“Anything for you, _mí corazón.”_

.

Lapis and Amethyst stayed in Amethyst's big van, moved to the backseat and parked in a random parking lot of a church. Their lips and tongues were intertwined and Lapis was starry eyed, moving Amethyst's hands to explore her body, which Amethyst gladly did but a part of her felt some reluctance to touching her so freely. Still, she hasn't been with anymore since summer and she had felt particularly lonely.

“I bet you don't know how flexible I really am.” Lapis pulled away and whispered seductively in her ear, then moving to stare starry eyed at her date, lover, whatever. She moved from under Amethyst and moved to where she was on the top and was sitting on top of her genitals. An invasive image popped in her mind of a certain little clarinetist being on her like that. 

“Wait wait wait!” Amethyst stopped Lapis’ hands when they moved to tug at her dress straps. “I wanna know something!” 

“Yes, I'm clean and yes, I'm sure.” Lapis assumed, staring pointedly at her steamy partner. 

“No!” Amethyst wrapped her large arm around Lapis and repositioned her so she was still sitting on her but now Amethyst was able to sit up and look more clearly at her. “I mean, what do you want from this? You want to be my girlfriend?” 

This threw Lapis off guard and she pursed her lips, a clear change in her expression. “You people are so full of labels! Girlfriends? I don't know. Why can't we just be us?”

“Lapis.” It was said in a serious tone that made the taller girl uncomfortable. “You're very beautiful and hot and I enjoy spending time with you.” For a short second, Lapis smiled until Amethyst continued on. “And I really want to do this, but not if this is all we'll be to each other.”

“We’ll also be band mates.” Lapis interjected. 

“I'm sorry but I'm looking for a relationship.” The raspy voice apologized. “Unless you want the same, I don't think we should be doing this.”

This wasn't at all what Lapis thought this would lead up to. Of course, she had wanted a real relationship for a while, but now that she was hit in the face with an actual opportunity, she was hesitant. Her past few experiences with others was based on sexual attraction. They hooked up, bought her stuff, hung out when bored but it was never really dating. It was more like they spent time with each other when they were bored and didn't want to be alone. “Um…”

“Well?”

“I'm sorry.” Lapis got moved away from her and to the seat across from her. “If you don't mind, why do you care so much? With the way you were flirting with me, it seemed like you wanted the same kind of relationship I was expecting.” 

“I thought I was too. But Peri keeps telling me that romantic based relationships are better and that I'll have more support in one like that and how I shouldn't let myself settle for sexual activities only when I should be getting more from relationships.” Amethyst admitted to both Lapis and herself.

This confused Lapis. “Peri? What? Is that your ex?”

A blush appeared on her face at the thought of her ever dating Peridot. She looked away and shook her head. “No, Peri, like from marching band. You know, Peridot?” 

"What does Peridot have to do with our relationship?” 

Rather unsure of herself, Amethyst began to sweat. If someone else would have talked to her about this, she probably would've rebelled against whatever they said just to spite them. But seeing Peridot with Jasper always made her uncomfortable, like she wanted that. She always imagined herself as Jasper in her fantasies, having such a petite, cute girlfriend like Peridot and Lapis was petite and attractive, but she was much taller than Amethyst and that might make kissing more difficult.

“I want a relationship too.” Amethyst hid her face a little more with her bangs and pushed the thoughts of being in Jasper's place and dating Peridot out of her mind.

Almost appeared to be fuming, Lapis was staring down. “Honestly,” She pulled her legs to her chest and Amethyst decided to ignore the fact that she was flashing herself to her. “I haven't dated anyone in forever. It's not that I wouldn't want it, I just don't have the much experience with romance or feelings…” Her bottom lip began to tremble, as did her voice. 

Amethyst was quick to reassure. “I haven't either! I mean, I haven't had a real relationship that's official in a while too. But maybe, it you'd want to, we can get used to it, together?” It was a question and she was unsure of her words and whether they were reassuring or upsetting. 

Apparently they were reassuring and Amethyst was thrilled when Lapis put her legs down and smiled, playing with one of her loose hairs. “Would you really be willing to take on a challenge like me?”

Grinning, Amethyst nodded. “As long as you think you can handle all of this.” She gestured to herself and the two shared an innocent moment. “We can try it and if it doesn't work out, no hard feelings towards each other. Right?”

This was a mutual arrangement. Lapis nodded and they leaned in at the same time, going for a sweet kiss instead. And despite the fact that she was finally sort of in a relationship, she didn't feel right. Was it Lapis, was it her, or was it that she couldn't stop thinking of Peridot in her arms?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anywho, I should update quicker than this update. Reviews, kudos and bookmarks make me feel happy! Reviews especially motivate me. ;)


	10. Found Myself a Cheerleader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot has her cheer meeting and evaluation set up by Jasper. Things go askew.
> 
> Warnings: anxiety attack n mentions of anxiety disorders, mental health talk, harsh words/harassment, slight language?, stereotype kind of character bit you've seen her before.
> 
> https://youtu.be/jGflUbPQfW8
> 
> Cheerleader - OMI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blahhhh, I just finished band camp #1 yesterday... Now I have all the time in the world. Also relinquished my marching band thoughts since it's been a while... Feel like I'mma write side stories to this one soon? Sticking to a box is HARD. 
> 
> N this chapter's longgger than the rest. Like, I just kept adding on. Which makes me salty cuz now I feel like rewriting the climax chapter I wrote. 
> 
> Sorry in advanced, there is kind of an asthma attack and I do not have asthma, so I don't really know what it's like, even if my fam has it but I don't know what it's like. Anxiety attack is based off my experience. 
> 
> I'm also so bad at writing kissing scenes... sorry fam, no experience. 
> 
> I might post some drabbles I wrote on Tumblr here but eh.

On terms of her mental health, Peridot has been going pretty well on her recovery road. She used to struggle with mental health a lit in the past, which she never understood why. She knew she didn't chose to have anxiety and panic disorder. Part of her always thought it wasn't valid because she had grown up fine, had loving parents who were always there for her, their family was well connected for the most part, she was in a first world country, her family was well off, and nothing traumatizing had happened to her. But she had to remind herself that her feelings were valid and it wasn't her fault and there wasn't always a reason for anxiety. 

Being diagnosed with asthma when she was five, that wasn't the end of her doctor visits. After a bad panic attack that started when she was having ice cream with her parents at a cute little parlor after her kindergarten speech (her teacher thought she was well spoken and asked a student to give a speech, resulting in coos from the other parents), her concerned parents rushed her to the emergency room, thinking she had an allergic reaction to some ingredient. 

Instead the doctor said it was a bad panic attack and accompanied by her asthma, it was pretty severe to where oxygen wouldn't make it into her body. They cleared her to go with a fresh new inhaler prescription. Things were good until she began having them more often, not too often, but it was gradually getting more constantly. Those times after the first one weren't as bad, but they brought her into an urgent care anyway, but the doctor had been suspicious of why a small child had panic attacks and sent her to a psychiatrist to get her mental health tested. 

Many tests were run for depression, anxiety disorders, and some others. They found she had generalized anxiety disorder and told her she also had panic disorder. Her parents were distraught, thinking they had done something that made her like that. It was an insight and the psychiatrist gave her parents instructions on how to handle them if it was to be controlled and they hardly needed to venture to the emergency room for much longer after that. They called for an inhaler to be kept with their parents, one for the school nurse, and one for her to carry around. Not only that, she was to go to a therapist every Monday and Wednesday. 

Having a proper diagnosis made young Peridot feel a little more comfortable and it explained a lot. Thoughts of terrible things happening always popped in her mind and she imagined the worst case scenario about everything. Dealing with panic attacks, along side with anxiety attacks (when she knew what caused them) along with asthma made things frustrating. One year it was at it's worse and she barely went a week without having one, but overall it was getting less and less. The visits to her therapist were declining to where she goes every two months instead, unless there's an situation she urgently needed to discuss. 

Until today when the anxiety felt bad. An old yet familiar feeling in her chest came and her thoughts wouldn't stop. She had to pester on, though, because sweet Jasper had gone through the trouble of rearranging this meeting just for her. Some of the cheerleaders were only going to meet her today, or they planned to only meet her until a few other people asked if they could have practice tips and evaluations when they found out about Peridot and she personally thanked stars for them. 

She was sprawled onto her bed, tapping her her foot and biting at her nails, waiting for Jasper to come and drop her off before she went to work. Her phone kept buzzing with notifications of texts and they were from Amethyst. Amethyst had started to text her often and casually, to where Peridot felt a little more comfortable with talking to her. Carefully, she told her about how she was going to the school today to have practice for a sports team and left out that it was cheer, that she was extremely anxious, and that she was only going because she would've felt guilty if she told Jasper she wasn't going to go.

Amethyst was pretty nonchalant about it. She asked what sport and Peridot just changed subject, slyly mentioning a video of a cool classical Star Wars melody, sending a link and Amethyst jumped onto that train and discussed how the piece was arranged. Their conversation had gone away from her plans for the day and was back to their usual banter. It was a good distraction until a text popped up from Jasper saying she was at her house. A loud groan came from her mouth when she jumped off her bed, ran down the stairs and got in her girlfriend's car, feeling like she was on her way to her death sentence. 

.

Jasper walked her into the gym, feeling so familiar while Peridot felt so uncomfortable. Having been in here so often, Jasper probably felt the same as she did in the band room. Peridot felt uncomfortable when they walked through the open doors and all the cheerleaders turned their heads to look at her. Jes’ slight glare at her before she looked at Jasper might've escaped her girlfriends notice, but certainly not her’s. 

“Hey guys! Listen, I want you all to treat my girl very well or I'll hear about it!” Jasper smirked as they walked closer, her hand on Peridot's back and the statement made Peridot even more uncomfortable. 

“Anything for you, Jasper. We'll take good care of her!” Jes’ voice replied and Peridot grimaced at the sound of it and the clear fakeness in her tone. 

Jasper made a point to grab Peridot and kiss her goodbye and left her alone, saying she'll pick her up on her break in a few hours and to have fun and be cautious of her leg. When she left, everyone just stared at Peridot and Peridot growled. Jes shot her a hot look and cleared her throat to speak. 

“Okay my girls and…” She glanced at Peridot's baggy clothes and naked face. “Whatever _you_ are.” She practically spat out and Peridot just clenched her fists and looked down. “Let's do stretches. I'm Jes, your main bitch, and these are Valeria or Val and Alexis, the very important side hoes.” She joked and made the other newbies laugh but Peridot rolled her eyes at the talk lingo, cringing. “Lex, get them started. I need to go check something.” It was sketchy to Peridot but no one else paid mind as they got on the floor to do push ups, planks, and such. Kind of like the stretches they did for marching band. 

Cheer girls and the other common girls were conversing casually, Peridot just staring down at her feet while they were doing this and some of these she stood by. The other cheerleader not in charge specifically noticed her and moved over to her. Peridot avoid her eye with her hands stuffed in her pocket, not really wanting to be yelled at. But instead, the soft voice made her look up. “You okay?”

Huh, someone asking if she was okay. If Jes was here, she'd probably calling her lazy or something inconsiderate but looking up at the blue eyed brunette, she felt as if the inquiry was genuine. “Oh,” She realized she was so busy observing so she cleared her throat. “I'm fine.” 

Brunette smiled. “You just tired or what?”

“Um, didn't uh, Jasper inform you people about my situation?” Peridot replied in a weary tone, confused. 

“No? Is there something we should know?”

“Oh.” Peridot looked down and bit her lip, contemplating how to explain this. “To partake in this activity safely, it is crucial that you contain this information in your memory.” The brunette snickered but nodded along, intrigued. “I am an amputee. I require a prosthetic leg, therefore things are more difficult for me and certain stretches are not good for me.” 

Surprisingly, the cheerleader didn't have too much of a reaction. “I see.” She looked down at Peridot's legs and then back to her and turned her head, confused. “Not to sound rude, but then why are you here?” 

“Jasper set this all up. I didn't want to say no to her.” Peridot admitted and laugh nervously. 

“Understandable.” The brunette put a hand on Peridot's shoulder. “She's pretty scary sometimes. I'm Valeria, but you can call me Val. I'll be sure you're safe and such. Luckily, we're not doing too much today.” 

It was just stretching and talking until Jes came back, which wasn't until an hour later, shockingly. But it was okay because the girls discussed schedules, requirements and such. Jes was walking in looking rather more annoyed than usual. “You!” She shouted when she was walking from the entrance to where they were in the center back of the room. Peridot furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “We’ll do skill evaluation now. You start us! Show us what you can do!” She stood next to Alexis and had her hands on her hips. 

“Um…” Peridot looked around her and then pointed to herself. “What are you going on about? I can surely do a lot of things, would it hurt you to be specific?” 

Jes let out a loud groan of annoyance. “Cheer things! Do cheer things so we can evaluate you.” 

“Peridot, do something from the video we sent out. Just try what you remember.” Valeria smiled at Peridot and nodded reassuringly, walking up to her and moving to the side of her. “Don't be nervous. 

“I was not sent or shown this apparent video about ‘cheer thing’. The only information relating to cheerleading that I have gained is from watching the routine performed during our school’s home sports games.” Peridot stated flatly. “I do believe I learn quickly from visuals, however I haven't watched too much in recent time.”

“God, then do that! You're wasting my time!” Jes was acting casually rude as always. 

“Fine.” Peridot growled and grabbed the pom poms or whatever they were called and stood up straight. She blushed and looked around, sweating, not quite knowing where to start. A quiet noise escaped from her and she tried not to concentrate on the way everyone was watching her intently, which proved to be difficult. 

Until Valeria grabbed another pair of pom poms and began slowly doing the routine beside her by their separate parts and moves. Peridot went along with it, learning quickly and demonstrating them at a quicker speed. However, when the routine music began playing, she did what she knew and moved around on parts she didn't. Her movements stopped when she noticed Jes whispering and laughing to the other cheerleader. 

Peridot felt her breathing stagger and she stopped suddenly, hearing her heartbeat in her ears and practically seeing red. “What seems to be sending you humor over there, Jesica?” She asked in a tight tone. 

Jes stopped laughing and glared again. “Well first of all, you're form is sending me ‘humor’.” She pointed out and Peridot hadn't expected her to say anything.

“What?” Peridot asked quietly and observed her posture, standing up a little straighter. She felt as her own breathing became hard and harder to control and it was slipping more and more. 

“Secondly, what was that? You couldn't do anything without Val helping you? Are you serious? Even then it still looked pathetic!” Her voice screetched and Peridot clung to her sweat pants, staring down at the floor and biting her lip. 

Not only was Peridot clearly uncomfortable, but so were the other girls, getting scared of her. Valeria dropped her pom poms and stared at Jes, one hand on her hip. “Jes, don't be a bitch.” 

The glare Jes shot her back looked like it could kill. “She's the one being a freak! Thinking she can be like us just because her girlfriend is Jasper! I can't believe she'd even date her.” She screamed at Valeria and then turned back to Peridot. “I was willing to work with you for Jasper's sake! But you stop acting like ‘oh I’m Perisnot, I’m so innocent and nervous, tehe!’” She impersonated. 

Everyone could probably see it, but Peridot's hands were trembling greatly and her fingers felt tingly. She felt like her chest was tightening and began feeling nauseated. Her eyes burned with tears but she couldn't let this girl get to her. “I'm doing this for my girlfriend.” She replied weakly. 

“Oh how precious! Get your shit together and realize you're not going to be one of us, you freaking nerd!” Jes yelled at her. 

Oh great. Peridot could feel the familiar feeling of the airway lining becoming swollen and her wheeze began. Still, she couldn't let herself fall apart in front her her. Her gaze trailed across to meet the cheerleader's eye and she didn't know what she was going to say. “Maybe Jasper doesn’t like you,” She paused to let out a wheeze. “Because you're a cunt. Fuck you.” Peridot smiled evily and barely could muster enough strength to walk out of the gym, ignoring the way she tried to go and fight her, being held down by her friends. 

When Peridot walked out of the doors, she grabbed her phone and walked as far as she could away from the doors, which wasn't too much and she called for help, looking for her inhaler in her bag while she fell to her knees. 

_Peri? What's up?_ It was Amethyst again and she would've pondered why she always called her instead of Jade.

“Amethyst.” Peridot wheezed and before trying again, she located her inhaler and took in a deep inhale of the medicine. “I need you…” She wheezed again and tried to continue. “To take me... away from here.” Her raspy breaths were slowing down and she took a long break to take in as much as the medicine as she needed until her breathing was semi-regulated. 

_What's wrong? I'm on my way to the gym. I'm not that far, I was by the music store getting reeds. I'll be there soon._

Tears finally started to fall from her eyes and she could feel her stomach churning. She suddenly felt too dizzy and had to hold her head to ensure she wouldn't start puking. Her phone fell to her lap. Her body felt like it was ice cold. The sounds of Amethyst's asks were coming and nothing came in reply until Peridot let out an extremely loud sob and Amethyst got more worried. 

_Are you crying? What happened?_ Amethyst's voice seemed to grow more concerned and Peridot tried to speak but barely anything came out. 

“Hallway,” She mumbled. “Not gym, don't go in there.” 

_Okay. I'll find you._

And she did. She got to the school a few minutes later and started off from the opposite of the building and just walked around. Peridot had hung up on her prior and she was debating to call her again or not. 

Until she found the familiar, small body, with knees drawn up to their chest. She heard sniffles and whimpers coming from her and saw her body was overtaken by shivers. Amethyst had experienced sadness and grief, like when her grandma died day before she planned on sneaking her to a tattoo parlor, or when she was smitten over a girl who she waited for literal years to date and the last time they talked was when they were on the floor, beating the souls out of one another, or when she watch as her dad was shot when they were on their way to Mexico and the man screeched ‘Take that, you fucking Alien!’ and ‘This is _our_ country!’ and she had to hide in the back, calling the cops.

But seeing Peridot like this was devastating. It hurt her heart and though it wasn't as bad as losing a grandma, she thought she could take pain to the heart. But she couldn't protect her and she didn't even know what was going on. “Peridot?” She croaked out. 

When Peridot raised her head up, she thought it might even be worse. Her eyes were puffy and red, somehow made them look greener, her nose was tinted as well, there were tears all over her face and even down to her neck, and her mouth hung open with no words. 

Peridot held out her hands to ask for Amethyst to help her up and she understood the hint. She grabbed both hands and gave her a boost to her feet. Peridot tumbled a little bit and when they started moving, she kept nearly tripping due to her dizzy vision and Amethyst had to practically hold her and guide her to her car. 

Finally, when they were both inside, Amethyst turned to Peridot with clear worry. She was clearly still in the midst of an anxiety attack, even if her breathing was rather more calmed thanks to her inhaler, though she still had to take deep breaths to calm herself. She closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on being okay. 

And Amethyst had experience a panic attack before but wasn't quite sure of what to do. At first she tried to ask Peridot what she needed her to do to help her, but all that came was a quick eye glance. 

“Okay,” Amethyst began and offered Peridot water, and she shakily grabbed it, gulping loudly, managing to not choke somehow. “What's your full name?” She asked, turning on her car just for the AC and radio.

When Peridot heard the question, she gave Amethyst a ludicrous look but she held her stern expression. “I'm…” She cough before continuing, her voice much raspier than she's ever heard it. “Peridot… Hara Madan.” 

“Good.” Amethyst smiled. “What school do you go to?” 

This one took a little longer than before, not because she had to think about it but because she had to remember to move her lips and speak. “South Downtown… High School.” Before, Peridot typically had her parents or someone around her that knew how to help her when she gout like this, but they never did this.

It was working, though. Her tears stopped falling and her brain was trailing away from what was causing the anxiety in the first place. As they went on, Amethyst asked more questions, until she appeared to be like herself before the attack. “In concert pitch, what are the notes in a B major 7th arpeggio?”

The smile Peridot sent Amethyst, was, she thought, almost enough to stop world wars.“B, D#, F#, A#, B.” Even after recovering from an attack, Peridot still was cocky as ever with music theory. 

Amethyst turned the key, turning on the car again and this time voluming up the radio. It was on her mostly top 40’s with oldies pop station. She heard the familiar beat of a song start and she opened her mouth, “ _When your legs don't work like they used to before…_ ” Her voice song out. “ _And I can't sweep you off of your feet._ ” 

The sweet sounds of her vocal chords made Peridot smile as she stared out the window, trying not to think of her attack. “You do indeed have a lovely voice, Amethyst.” 

Compliments that actually sounded like compliments from Peridot sure were special. “Thank you.” She stopped in her singing. “And hey, um, you want to talk about what happened?” 

“Not particularly.” Her smile passed from sight. She stared down at her hands.

“Oh.” Amethyst moved to volume down the radio a little more. “You think you might _need_ to talk about it?” She tried again. 

A sigh came and Peridot looked to her. “It would likely be my best interest to discuss it.”

“Okay.” Amethyst looked ahead at the road and tried to find where to start. “What happened? You told me you were going to practice for some sport or whatever and the next thing I hear from you is you crying and… I don't know.” 

It didn't escape Amethyst's notice when she started to bounce her foot. “The ‘practice’,” She made air quotes. “Was for cheer.” The words felt weird coming from her mouth and she was blushing terribly.

“Wait what?!” Amethyst asked, not sure if she heard right. “ _Cheer?_ ” 

“Mhm.” 

“Wow Peri! I didn't know you wanted to be in cheer. I didn't know that was possible, actually, since…” Amethyst didn't want to directly mention it. 

But just saying it would've been better because then Peridot wouldn't have taken it the wrong way. “ _What?_ Because I'm a _nerd_?!” 

Oops. “What? No,” Amethyst reassured but Peridot looked heated. “Because you're like, disabled, right?”

Now Peridot felt silly. “Oh. I mean, I believe that I participate in many things that people general do not expect me to do.” Out of instinct, she pulled her prosthetic up to hug it to her chest.

Taking her eyes off the road for a split second, looking at how small Peridot looked in that position. Her mind went to thinking about how remarkable she thought it was that Peridot was one of the best marchers they have and she's the one with a fake leg. How you could barely notice it unless you actually saw it. She wasn't quite sure how she hadn't noticed it before and yet found it astonishing that she's so independent and passionate about being on the field even like that. “Man, you're right. If I had seen an amputee before I met you, I never would've thought they'd be able to march correctly. And yet, here you are.”

Reaching her right hand to ruffle Peridot's hair, she grumbled in reply. “But cheer? I didn't know you wanted to be a cheerleader.” 

The cars for quiet for a minute after that, Peridot just resting against her leg until she spoke again. “I don't.” She confessed. 

“What?”

“I honestly do not want to be a cheerleader. I have never wanted to be a cheerleader.” Peridot ran a hand through her hair nervously.  
Amethyst was confused. “I see. Then why you doing it?” 

Squirming uncomfortable, Peridot put her leg down and stared straight. “My girlfriend has a strong wanting for me to be one.” At the look Amethyst gave her, she rushed to tell more. “Jasper, uh, mentioned cheer camp after the season ends and told me she has paid the expenses for me to go in advanced. Not only that, but she contacted some of the captains to host this workshop thing for me. They agreed to evaluate and provide me with proper practice tips and at first it was only supposed to be set up for me, however a few other people asked for permission to come as well.”

Peridot realized then that she was unaware of where they were heading, but before she could, Amethyst responded back. “If you didn't want to be one, why didn't you just tell Jasper?” 

Talking about her relationship and the power Jasper could hold over her wasn't such a comfy topic. “I would have faced guilt. It was a thoughtful gesture and I did not want cause chaos in that whole thing. I didn't want to tell her no.”

That didn't sound right to Amethyst. Especially the last statement. Why would she not tell her girlfriend how she felt? Weren't relationships and listening to one another? Peridot shouldn't feel forced to do something, especially not by her lover. Despite the uneasy feeling, she didn't press that matter too much. “So how was it? How'd it go? What happened?”

“Right,” Peridot prepared herself to relive it. “There's this girl, Jes, I believe she is head cheerleader captain. I am unsure as to why, but she is not too fond of me, believe it or not.” She let out a nervous chuckle. “And for some peculiar reason, she thinks Jasper would ever be into her! Even though I am more than a correct mate for Jasper!” 

“Oh dang.” Amethyst laughed a little, hoping it wasn't a wrong move. “So like, she jealous of you?”

“I supposed.” This made Peridot look at the situation a little differently. “It did not go well. I am not coordinated enough for cheer. And well, to use figurative language, she slaughtered me.” 

“¿Qué?” Amethyst questioned. “What'd she say? What she'd do?”

And so, Peridot told her. Much more in depth this time, mentioning everything that happened, from Valeria being the kind one, to Jes laughing at her, to the girls’ awkward staring. She seemed to get angrier and angrier while she retold the story and she cracked her voice a few times as well. 

“I, um, actually have been diagnosed with generalized anxiety and panic disorder.” Peridot looked down the her knees. “It was terrible at a young age, however, panic attacks are less often and anxiety attacks are more understandable, but I have not had a bad one in a year.” She shook her head disappointedly. “Combined with my asthma, it tends to get out of control.” 

She waited for the judgment but nothing came. “I’m sorry. At least it's been getting better?” 

“I guess.” Peridot shrugged. “I see my therapist every two months now.” 

“Hm. Well, if ya ever want to talk to someone, there's always me!” Amethyst patted Peridot's shoulder. 

Peridot felt her heart speed up and she blushed at the touch. Why, she wasn't exactly sure, it was just a touch. They sat in comfortable silence until Amethyst broke it again. “Hey Peri?”

“Yes?”

“Why'd you call me and not your girlfriend? Or Jade? I thought y'all were like, besties or something.” Amethyst tried to not overthink about being chosen first. 

“Uh,” Peridot looked around and was unfamiliar with her surroundings. She was going to ask where they were going but she realized she probably shouldn't avoid the question. But she didn't really know why she didn't think of calling Jade and went autopilot to Amethyst. She knew that she couldn't call Jasper because that might cause her to be upset and she didn't want that, plus she was at work anyway. However, calling Amethyst just seemed natural, like she knew she wouldn't judge her.

While lost in her thoughts, Amethyst stopped her van in a mostly empty parking lot. Peridot looked around again and saw it was still unfamiliar, but it almost looked like a park. Then, Amethyst unbuckled her seat belt and turned at her for maybe the first time since she picked her up to look directly into Peridot's green eyes. “Well?”

She thought she had formulated an answer in her head, but staring into the blue-grey eyes made her forget everything she wanted to say and she felt completely speechless. Stuttering, she bit her lip and glanced away. Amethyst just chuckled and got out of the door, Peridot starting to do the same, thinking they were going out but the chubby Latina just moved to the back of her van. Confused, Peridot did the same. 

“Am I just that irresistible?” Amethyst joked and cackled, but the whole statement threw Peridot off and her face turned pink. 

“No,” Peridot murmured. “I had the knowledge that you would not provide me with judgment.” She admitted and brought her knees to her chest. “I… trust you.”

Amethyst had been reaching over and began unpacking her saxophone, but nearly dropped her reed from her mouth when she heard the words. She was able to catch it before it touched the ground. “Aw, Peri!” Moving her case a little farther, she crawled closer to Peridot and engulfed her in a hug. 

Her arms were wrapped around her whole small body. It made Peridot feel like her whole body and the lavender mixed with slight cigarette smoke. She admired the way the other girl's long hair brushed against her body. Although she didn't wrap hug back the other girl, she didn't want her to let go. Her heart was fluttering and she felt intoxicated by the simplest sign of friendship. 

When Amethyst started to move back, Peridot grab onto her arm on instinct, not wanting her to leave, but quickly let go. If she could conduct the actions of their lives, she'd definitely leave a fermata for that hug.

And they sat there. They sat in the back of her van. There were only two seats currently as she had taken away the bundled back seats. Amethyst had put together her saxophone and noddled on it, playing random notes and half songs. It was quiet and neither said a word. The only sound was the reedy tone of the alto. It stayed like this for nearly forty minutes. 

One of the songs Amethyst was playing stopped to a sudden end. Her eyes were focused on Peridot, who had her head laid back and eyes close. She observed her bleach blonde hair, noticing her dark brown regrowth coming in. Taking in her choice of wardrobe, she noticed how her prosthetic leg was concealed at all times and her mind flashbacked to when she had first seen it, to Peri in her boy shorts on the floor. Her mind had been racing but she knew she couldn't show it because it was frighten Peridot, and she didn't want her to think that she was disturbed or anything and now her heart felt pained while she thought about why she had that initial reaction. 

“How are things with Jasper?” Amethyst asked suddenly and Peridot's eyes popped open and she looked confused by the unexpected question but shrugged it off. 

“Things are great with her. I love her and we're doing to celebrate our one year anniversary next week.” A smile couldn't stop itself from appearing on her face, despite what Jasper had practically caused today. 

“Congratulations. That's good.” Was all that came in reply.

“And how are you and Lapis? Are you finding out that I am right about her?” Peridot asked smugly. 

“Stop, Peri,” Amethyst tried to jump at defense. “She's not like that. She's great. I don't know though… we're not really dating. We're kind of testing it out before we put any labels, but I don't think she's the one for me. I think her and I would be better as friends.” Amethyst sighed and began putting away and deconstructing her saxophone. 

“I'm sorry.” Peridot apologized quietly and Amethyst smiled. 

“It’s fine. I guess it's human nature to just judge first.” Amethyst shrugged. “I think I wrote a poem about that somewhere. But anyway, have you eaten yet?”

“No.” Peridot had planned on eating before she went but she worried it'd just be thrown up, so she didn't. 

At that response, Amethyst moved to the front and motioned for her to follow. Once seated, they drove off again and Amethyst pulled into the parking lot of an old fashioned fast food diner. They just ordered and paid, moving towards the back of the diner. Amethyst noted that every time she would look up and admire Peridot, she would blush and refused to eat. 

She also realized that Peridot was one of those people who ate a lot but still remained skinny.

After that, they went for ice cream and went back to the back of her van to chill and finish their cold treat. 

“Oh man!” Peridot shrieked when she seemed to realize something. “Do you have the current time?!” 

“Uh,” Amethyst looked down at her phone. “It's 3:27. Why?” 

“Ah!” Yelping, Peridot ran her hands through her hair. She groaned then threw her hands onto Amethyst's shoulder and had an intense expression on her face. “Listen to me, Amethyst, we need to go down back to the school! Jasper said she will drive me home after practice!” 

A part in her badly didn't want to take her, knowing what had happened to her back there. Part of her didn't want her to keep up a lie that she felt she had to, to her girlfriend. Part of her didn't want her to go back to Jasper. Part of her wanted to scoop Peridot up in her arms and kiss her for everything that she was worth, kiss her until she couldn't breathe, kiss her until every bit of friendship was gone and replaced by romance. 

“Okay. Let's go.” 

They finished their ice cream. 

And off they went. Amethyst was practically speeding to get to their high school in time for Peridot to meet Jasper there. It was such an exhilarating feelings, both their windows were rolled down slightly and the radio was blasted loudly. Peridot was eating the macaroons they purchased earlier, occasionally giving one to Amethyst, that is until she dabbed the icing onto her pointed nose playfully while they were at a stop light. Amethyst had absolutely no shame in singing along to the songs and after a few songs, Peridot heard one she was familiar with. 

Not knowing where it came from, but Peridot opened her mouth and let the lyrics flow. She knew she probably wasn't in a position to be singing, especially back in a elementary school music class, she had been laughed at for her musical voice, but some reason it felt right. 

Until Amethyst stopped her own singing and uttered. “Peri, your singing is so cute!” Making Peridot feel all bubbly and warm, a smile forming onto her face. Everything she always felt so uncomfortable about with herself, what people made her feel comfortable able, Amethyst always was able to make her a little better at her insecurities. 

It was nearly 4:02 when they made it into the gym parking lot. Both of them were giggling and were amazed at their timing. Jasper should be coming any second. Unlocking the car, they hopped out of the car and ran into the gym. Peridot turned to Amethyst and shouted a thanks, thinking she would leave, but when Peridot stopped outside the gym door she was dropped at, she watched as Amethyst kept running and shouted something about texting her. 

She didn't have time to dwell on it though, because then she heard the familiar noise of a car door slam and the doors lock, and soon enough, her girlfriend appeared in front of her eyes when she turned towards the parking lot away from watching Amethyst. 

Jasper was dressed in her work uniform, a mini apron still tied to her waist. Her signature smile with her fierce pearly whites shining at Peridot and she engulfed her in a hug. They wasted no time in getting to their welcome towards each other. 

“Let's go and you can tell me all about the fun you had.” Jasper grabbed Peridot's hand, going to lead her towards the car. 

That's when Peridot remembered how much liquid she had to drink today and felt a breeze move over her. She shivered and groaned at her full bladder. “Wait for me, I need to use the restroom.” She kissed her girlfriend's define cheekbone and ran inside with a hurry. 

Her legs moved at a quick speed to move past the actual gym door, as they were slightly opened. She located the restroom and did her business, also while prepping herself for lies. 

When she was walking out of the bathroom and passing by the gym again was when things changed her mood. She heard loud talking from inside and she knew that she really shouldn't be, but she walked closer to the door and tried hard to listen. It was a familiar raspy voice that always seemed so comforting to her. 

“... if you take pleasure that then _you_ are the low-life loser!” Amethyst's voice yelled out. “You can never do any of the things Peri can do! She's one of the _best_ marchers we have, even with a prosthetic!” Peridot squinted to look through the crack, trying to stay hidden and saw Amethyst was clenching her fists tightly. “You have no idea what she's been through and she's doing better in life than you, even if she's younger, an amputee, or a ‘nerd’!” 

A feeling came to Peridot's heart and her face flared up once more. She clenched at her chest and tried to remember when she had felt this before and some part of her mind reminded her of when she had been on that first date with Jasper but another part told her that wasn't possible. 

“She’s getting far in life and she'll have a career when she graduates while you'll be in this town, trying to find a way to relive your high school glory! You have no right to treat her like garbage just because you want to bang her girlfriend or something!” Amethyst laughed sarcastically and she heard Jes’ voice perk up. 

“How do you even know her?! How dare you talk to me like that!” 

All her ears heard was that before she quickly got out of there, not wanting to hear anything else and praying to some sort of god she doesn't believe in. She rushed out to Jasper's car and saw her waiting by the passenger door. Making her way over, she felt unusual. 

Jasper grabbed her right as she made it to the door and pinned her against the door, attacking her neck with kisses. Peridot squeaked in surprised but it turned into a pleasurable groan. Neck kisses always made her weak. She wrapped her arms around the bulky girl, or as much as she could, and pulled her closer. Her girlfriend made her way down her neck, even to her collarbone before she kissed her on the lips, all tongue and nothing else. A part of Peridot figured they shouldn't be doing this in the school parking lot but a part of her was too excited to care. 

.

Amethyst stormed out of the gym after Jes somewhat tried to formulate an apology, probably just to make her leave but it'll do. Her body was filled with rage at how Peridot gets treated by many people. And why? There's nothing wrong with her, she has a great personality, is funny, and is inspiring for being so able to do things even if she is disabled. 

Her hand ran through her hair and she walked out of the double doors, making her way to her car. Until she noticed a familiar high pitched voice speaking in a low tone, words barley important but most of all, little groans coming from her. On top of her was what looked like Jasper, though she was dressed differently than her usual style. 

Hiding, she tried hard not to look or listen, but it was pretty much impossible. 

“Can we…” She heard Peridot pant. “Go home and do this?” Then there were more kissy noises. 

She waited and waited until she heard the sound of keys and an engine start. Now would be a bad time to turn around, so she waited until it sounded like the car had left and she wasted no time getting to her own. 

And in there, her stomach was in knots and she tried to get the image of Peridot and Jasper out of her mind, to stop hearing the noises they made. Even turning up the radio on high didn't help, she couldn't even get her mind off to remember the lyrics to the songs. 

Suddenly, she realized something. If this feeling was what she believed and knew it to be, she was screwed. Because Peridot was taken. Because Jasper smitten over her and so was she. Because it'd ruin their friendship anyway. Because she couldn't pretend she hasn't heard Jasper and Peridot talking about marriage on the triple date. 

Mostly because Peridot wasn't free to date. Again, she was taken. And she was happy with Jasper. Not her. 

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So whatcha tHINK? Reviews n commentary are always welcomed. ((; Also not quite sure what's coming next in this story? Maybe Peri n Jaspy's 1 year or a meeting with Jade and Ame, likely I will forget n it'll be neither... But who knows.


	11. Chamber Recital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The concert band always has a chamber recital and study of chamber groups. This is that day where the recital is held.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any typos/weird mistakes, I'm super tired and can't think straight. T-T But heyyy, any of y'all actually in band reading this? Like, if so, does your school do a chamber music unit? Cuz mine does n there was dis senior who was literally in almost all of them. That is Peri.

Luckily and surprisingly for Peridot, Jasper said Jes texted her and reported that Peridot and the other's were getting along great and she was doing well, but she wouldn't have many chances on the team due to her leg, which was obviously, a complete lie. 

Though Jasper still insisted that she goes to try the camp workshop they have at the end of the season, but she would tackle that problem when she got there. 

But today she had to tackle something different. Today was finally the day of the concert band and orchestra chamber recital. The chamber music unit they have is one of Peridot's favorites because she enjoys having the independence. Chamber music is when they can pick, or even compose their piece, and have to perform it themselves with no conductor.

And Peridot had a big part in this year's chamber recital. There was the clarinet group, with all the clarinet's and really set up so everyone can have a part, even the shy freshmen. Jade and her had also planned a fun clarinet duet. There was also the mini band group, with her, and almost one instrument from each section. The saxophone trio was also performing a piece that she arranged, as they had kindly asked her. 

Lastly, she had a solo. One from a piece that she had arranged herself and composed by herself. It was a song that was inspired from the things of her freshman year, the beginning starting out as a from niente, crescendoing to a piano. The middle was at a steady tempo and semi-easy rhythms, but became more chaotic. The end sounded like a sweet, romantic lullaby. 

Of course, she was mostly proud of herself. She wasn't the only one who had as many roles in this concert as she did, or had the most. There was a lot of seniors with big parts too, but Peridot was the youngest to have those roles. 

Part of the credit goes to Jade. Of course, she didn't write anything or make her a better player, but Peridot has been a little reserved in that band. Mr. A did know of her talent but Jade helped Peridot socialize with the others and communicate to him about her plans. 

Concerts were always a great time to invite others and make a bigger audience, even requiting some people who want a schedule change after 1st semester. They started making Facebook events to promote. 

Which is why Amethyst woke up from a message from Peridot after an after school nap, around 4:00. Peridot was texting everyone she talked to regularly about the concert. 

.

_Good evening, Amethyst, I hope you will be able to attend our concert band's chamber recital, 7PM @ SDHS auditorium! Come show support for me and your friends! :)_

Amethyst blinked wearily at the text, rubbing her sleep filled eyes. She had known about the concert but wasn't particularly planning on going, opting to hang out with Lapis that day and have a discussion about their ‘relationship’. Obviously, she wanted to go but she felt Lapis should get priority. 

**Don't think I can cuz Lapis n I need to talk. Sorry**

_Thought you guys weren't dating?_ The reply was quick for Peridot, as she usually took at least two minutes to reply and that message came almost as soon as she sent hers.

**We aren't. That's actually why I wanted to talk to her.**

_Hm._ It was only a bit until Peridot texted again.

_Please come? Can you bring her or reschedule? The chamber concerts are really important to us and I figured since you aren't in concert band, maybe you can support us as if you were?_

And Amethyst knew that Peridot wouldn't actually be too upset with her if she didn't go. But she wanted to be there for her friends, especially the ones having a big part in the chamber recital, and one of those was likely Peridot, given her talent. Ever since she heard about it, she considered going. And part of her really wanted to see Peridot again, see her perform again because on the field, she's too busy with marching or getting to her dot, even during their duet. 

She also needed an excuse to push aside telling Lapis. Not too many things made her worried, but the fact that she has a chance to maybe not be as lonely anymore and that she was going to give it away. Lapis was more than willing to dive into a sexual relationship, even if Amethyst thought it would be okay, she knew she craved romance and wanted to be held often. 

Even though she had been pretty certain of doing it a few days ago when she announced it to Peridot. Maybe it was something in the way Peridot had this hint to her voice, like she wanted nothing to be happening between the two of them, like Peridot had hoped that her and Lapis weren't a couple. But when that day ended and she began realizing and going on and off between admitting her feelings and dismissing what she knew them to be. 

If she was being honest, she also knew that part of her sudden want to cling on to Lapis for longer was because she wanted the images and thoughts of Peridot to dissipate from her mind. The images of her cute, braceface smile, of her snicker when she'd quip something sarcastic or her full on laugh when something was absolutely hilarious. Or hearing her jokes that she always looked insecure about. The way Peridot's warm body made her heat up. And she tried everything, but could not shake the fantasies of her grabbing Peridot by the arm, pulling her into her arms and kissing her senseless. 

Hardly were there ever images of Peridot that ranged more on the adult side. Of course, very very rarely did they show up, but when she had bad libido, Lapis was what popped into her thoughts. 

To put it simply, Amethyst thought Lapis was the kind of girl who’d make you feel amazing and forget your troubles with the things she did when you're alone with her and Peridot was the kind of girl who you could kiss daily without getting tired, the girl who could be someone's wife, the girl who made you forget your troubles with the little things she does that she thinks no one pays mind to.

But she couldn't think about that. And she knew that it would be unfair to Lapis to continue a relationship with her that she knows won't work out. It was better that her and Lapis were friends, they got along better like that. 

Pulling out her phone, she didn't respond to Peridot but sent a text to Lapis. 

**Hey, I can't come over today, stuff came up.** She also knew it probably wasn't fair to be this vague about why she was ditching their plans. 

For a while, she laid in her bed, tapping her foot out of nature, something she always did, her dad always did, and her senile grandmother. 

_I was in the pool, sorry. What came up?_ It was such a simple reply and Amethyst still felt on edge about it. 

Obviously, if she goes and Lapis finds out, it'll be bigger trouble. She decided to just be honest. **I promised Peri I'd go to the concert tonite and I forgot until now.**

_Peridot?_

Amethyst felt her heartbeat sped up. **Yea, Peridot. I'm sorry, we can reschedule for next week. It's not bc you :(**

_It's funny, she seems to always come up whenever we talk about anything._ It was so passive aggressive and so Lapis. 

Then another text came.

_Ignore that. I just wanted to see you and talk tonight. But it's okay, we can reschedule._

She only sent out a quick reply thanking her and apologizing that Lapis didn't respond to. She didn't need to, anyway, Amethyst already knew how she felt. But she couldn't bring herself to be too upset about it, because she leaped up and began planning what to wear and was enthused to see Peridot. 

.

Peridot was sitting in the edge of her bed, tapping away at her phone. Some girls were afraid of double texting and in some cases, so was she but right now she was multi texting to Jasper. Last night Jasper and her were Skyping when Peridot causally mentioned the concert again and Jasper exclaimed that she had work and wasn't sure if she could get off early enough but she'd try her best. 

Saying she was frustrated was an understatement. Clearly, she had mentioned it multiple times to her girlfriend and she even had their marching band and concert band schedule and even expressed her excitement for this concert to her and yet, she still had forgotten. 

Things with Jasper weren't all that great and also extremely amazing at the same time. There was a certain spark that was revived, maybe due to their explorations of each other's bodies, or because they were so close to one year. And yet, Jasper's grasp seemed to tighten on Peridot more and more, as if she was suddenly more afraid to lose her. 

But that didn't mean she didn't want Jasper to come. Considering she went to nearly every football game, even the ones that they didn't play at, and she didn't even find interest in the sport. It was just fair. Besides, Jasper had always insisted that she enjoyed instrumental music, so it wasn't like she was trying to force her to go. 

In previous years, Jasper had attended all of the concert band performances, minus the chamber recital and festivals. At those, they had been dating for a while, but for the first few months if their relationship, Peridot was scared to ask for anything and kept quiet, keeping thoughts to herself, not feeling too sure of how to act in a relationship. But now, she was completely comfortable with asking for her support without feeling clingy.

 **Are you almost off from your job?**

**Please come.**

**I need you. I am very active in this. Please find someone to cover your shift or something along those lines.**

No reply came. Peridot hardly cared too much about who went or not, she understood things came up, but she really did not want Jasper to miss this. It was her debut for composing a piece and she wasn't particularly nervous about it. Sure, her hands were sweaty and her brain went through the possibilities of something going wrong, but certainly she wasn't nervous. _Right?_ Because performing didn't make her nervous, it never made her feel petrified.

Right?

Time seemed to pass by quicker than she wanted it to. It seemed like it was four o’clock a few minutes ago and now she had to rush downstairs to get her father to take her to the school to make it for call time. She grabbed her bag of necessities, her music, and her clarinet and made her way down.

“Appa,” She called out to her father and popped her head into the living room, where he was lounging on the couch watching some program on the television. “Can you please drive me over to the school for me to make it for call time? I do not wish to be late.” 

The short, Indian man stared at the screen for a second while Peridot tapped her fingers against the wall she was leaning on and then turned it off, walking over to his daughter. 

“Hey, how's my P-dot doing?” He asked, moving to ruffle her hair but she flinched away.

“Appa, I have styled my hair for this performance already, please do not mess it up.” She begged and he laughed.

“Alright.” He grabbed his key and they made their way to the school in his car. 

“Hey, can you and amma be on the look out for Jasper?” Peridot requested, staring down at her music. “If you see her, invite her over or something.” 

“Of course, P-dot.” He smiled kindly and patted her on the back. “Isn’t it your anniversary this weekend?” 

“Yeah.” This filled her with joy and she could stop her smile. “I'm excited. She's taking me somewhere special.” Peridot wrapped her arms around herself and giggled. 

“Do you think you will end up marrying her?” Her father questioned curiously. “Your dadaji is really hoping you take up his offer and have a big ceremony some day. He's thinking after your graduation…” 

“What?!” Peridot exclaimed and laughed it off. “I am not going to get married fresh out of high school… In fact…” She trailed off and looked away, pausing. “I am unsure if I want to get married at all.” This was the first time she actually told someone this so directly. 

“What?” Was all her father replied. 

“I want to have a partner for life,” She began to explain. “But I don't know if I'd like the marriage part. It just sounds so secure and weird.” She blushed. “Jasper is great and I love her. If I would marry anyone, it would be her.” Her cheeks heated up. “I know I probably should, it'd probably make everyone happy to get married but… I don't know. I'll wait until I'm older but it definitely won't happen directly after I graduate.” It felt like a relief off her chest. 

“Yes, well, whatever you decide, sweetie.” Her father shrugged. 

When Peridot was younger, she had always shown attraction towards females, but she kept it well hidden, even as a child she was not quite open about herself. All she knew was that when she had been teased about having male friends, it made her uncomfortable to no end. Her first crush had been on her kindergarten friend, until that girl decided that she didn't like Peridot anymore and refused to play with her. Whenever the topic of anything romantic had been brought up to her as a way to tease her, she had always told her family that she wasn't into anyone. 

So her parents googled asexuality and saw her as that, at first using it as excuse to arrange a marriage for her in the future. She knew for herself what she was though, she knew she was a lesbian and was certain of it that she told her close cousins, whom she suspected told their parents because she would accidentally overhear her parents chatting about her and her sexuality of the phone. 

After a particular hospital visit from Jasper, she broke down in front of her parents about how she was clearly into girls and she didn't know what to do about it. Her mother had been fine with it and tried to reassure her but her dad was… Not as supportive. He dismissed it and acted like her meltdown hadn't happened. 

He was always more conservative. He expected his only daughter to grow up, get married, have six children, and live as a housewife and Peridot was not interested in any of that. She didn't even like to dress traditionally feminine. He ignored her many times after that and refused to let her out to see any female friends, even going so far as to bring males over to their house. He always said he values making his daughter happy but he couldn't accept the kind of people that made her happy. She consulted in everything to her therapist and her therapist scheduled a family therapy session and they sorted out a few things. 

Things weren't back to the way they were for a while, but her dad was beginning to accept or and went back to respecting her. Their bond is now stronger than it has been and he enjoys talking sports with Jasper.

Still, he did hope his daughter would marry. And Peridot was always a people pleaser, doing the things they wanted her to, but marriage scared her to no end.

.

Peridot waited in the band room, sitting on one of the steps of the floor, clarinet in lap and reed in both, not feeling well enough to eat her snack she was offered and instead spent the time texting her girlfriend. 

**Are you here yet?** Still, all day she had yet to received a response from Jasper, even though she clearly saw that she had seen them and they were delivered fine. Her small fingers were tapping against her prosthetic underneath the fabric and her hands were sweating again. Jade was sitting next to her, chatting Obsidian's head off.

Mr. A popped back into the band room soon enough, clasping his hands together and getting the attention of the band. “Okay, we have a bigger crowd than usual! Good job guys!” He exclaimed. 

“Oh!” Jade cheered. “Is it packed?” 

The youthful band director's smile weakened ever so slightly. “No… But it's still a bigger audience!” He glanced at his watch. “Annnd, we need to start moving to the stage, backstage, or the audience if you're not one of the first six groups up.” He tried to pep up the students by chanting ‘game day’, even though this was not indeed a marching band event. 

Jade jumped up, clasping her hands together, turning to look at Peridot. “Aren’t you like, in every set change, Dot?” She asked somewhat proudly of her friend. When she asked and saw no enthusiasm in Peridot's face, her smile faded a little. 

The talented clarinetist was biting her lip and staring up at the clock, brows furrowed. No response was given to her friend. 

“Peridot.” Jade started and Peridot growled, knowing some sort of lecture was going to come up. “Jasper will be here. She hasn't missed a concert since you’ve been together. You shouldn't even be worrying about her!” She tried to reassure. 

“You don't understand.” Peridot grumbled, jumping to her feet, clarinet in one hand, her other rubbing her eye furiously. “Things are different than they were last year. Our relationship is no longer fresh, she no longer feels obligated to attend, but I want her to so bad.”

Pursing her lips, Jade and Peridot began following the rest of the band out, Peridot trying to attach her reed while walking. “Come on, Dot. She's going to be here, you're worrying too much.” 

“Ugh!” Peridot groaned frustratedly. “Whatever.” She told herself that she knew Jasper wasn't going to come, at least that way she shouldn't be disappointed when she didn't see her in the audience. 

The set up for this concert was much different than the rest of their usual ones. Because it was chamber music, there was hardly ever too many people on the stage at a time. They were separated into groups that their director had assigned, bigger groups in the middle, smaller ones on the sides. Though there were three groups on the stage at the same time, the spotlight was always directed at the performing group. They had 1-2 minute intervals for every set change, to move chairs and rearrange things. Peridot was in four out of seven of the set changes, as well as having to go up to the stage to be recognized for arranging the saxophone piece. Her solo was in the last set, which was after the set where she did not have to be on stage at all.

Once they made it backstage, quickly while Mr. A was introducing what chamber music is and how this differentiates from their usual performances, Peridot pulled her phone off and didn't turn it off, instead turning it on silent, despite that she always insisted electronics to be off. 

She wasn't too quick to realize that he had finished talking and that they had to walk onto stage now. She rushed up to catch up and moved to the back of the stage, where the big groups were. First was a trumpet and flute duet, then a French horn and flute duet. During those whole performances, Peridot's eyes were searching the audience, first darting to the chair her girlfriend usually sat in, and when she wasn’t there, she started to search the area around.

It was hard, however. The lights were shining bright on the group and the rest of the auditorium was dark. Her eyes were searching and she always thought that it looked awkward when someone clearly had their attention off the performing group or conductor, but she couldn't help it. Her heart was beating fast to see if her girlfriend was there. 

No Jasper in sight. Peridot tried not to feel disappointed, but she felt her heart sinking. She looked around and noticed a very familiar, plump Latina sitting in the audience. She was actually close to where Jasper usually sat and she noticed must've noticed her looking because she beamed at her. 

Seeing her made Peridot's heart speed up and she looked down at her shoes, playing with the bottoms on her clarinet. She had to note to look for Jasper even now and again.

.

After the performances, they always have to stay and help put away the risers and such to the back, but this time, there wasn't much cleanup to do, as everyone who was in the last set change brought their chairs and stands off, so after they changed, they were free to go. Peridot decided to go back to the band room for a second.

Once there, the group celebrated everyone's performances and talked about going out for fro-yo, as they made it a tradition to do. Peridot made plans with Jade and then headed back to the auditorium without changing, desperately wanting to see who was there. 

First, her parents went up to her, both of them embracing her in tight hugs and talking about how proud they were. They were gushing about all her performances and she was trying not to look frustrated while she looked behind, through the people. 

Suddenly, a certain purple haired saxophonist came dashing up to her. “Peri!” She exclaimed and ran up to Peridot from the side, holding her arms up and running up to hold her in a tight hug. “I'm so proud!” 

Peridot blushed and shot a glance at her parents, who cracked up in laughter, rather than helping her. 

“P-dot, who's this? She a friend?” Her mother asked, her Indian accent clear. Amethyst pulled away to look at her parents and the older lady smiled kindly, while Peridot's father nodded at her in acknowledge. 

“Hello!” Amethyst didn't let go of Peridot, even though she was trying to push her off. “Nice to meet ya! I'm Amethyst, Peri and I share a duet in marching band.” She explained, letting go of her with one arm, but one still tightly around her waist. 

“Nice to meet you! We haven't seen a marching band show, Peri told us to go to one of the later football games to see you guys.” Her father greeted in a heavy accent, smiling slightly. 

“Oh yeah, the first few performances always suck a little.” Amethyst nodded at the decision. 

“Anyway!” Peridot spoke right as Amethyst finished. “Have you guys seen Jasper?” She asked in a worried tone, clutching onto her phone in her pocket and biting her lip, shrugging Amethyst's arm off her shoulder. 

Their faces grew concerned. “No, we haven't seen her. Maybe she went to the band room already?” Her mother suggested sympathetically. 

“Oh,” Peridot's face turned sorrowful, but she was quick to force a smile onto her face. “Perhaps you are correct. Amma, appa, thank you for coming. I shall get a ride home, you two can head home.” Amethyst looked at her with confusion and stood awkwardly at the side. 

“Okay, text us who are is driving you and if you're going straight home or hanging out with you friends.” She patted Peridot on the back, as did her father and bid their goodbyes to Amethyst and Peridot. It was silent for a while as they watched them leave and then Peridot hung her head down. 

“You did great, Peri!” Amethyst beamed at her friend and moved to hug Peridot again but stopped when she raised up her hand. 

The green eyes were searching all over the mostly empty room now. They seemed to shine a brighter color than usual. Her lips were parted slightly and Amethyst could see that she was playing and picking at the belt around her hips. It was quiet and awkward but this was a time Amethyst was admiring how she looked in her uniform. The whole outfit made her seem taller than usual, or maybe it was because the dress shoes had a high squared heel. The purple bowtie and belt somehow paired great with her green eyes. She looked absolutely dapper.

“She didn't come.” Peridot whisperer simply, her voice cracking. She was quick to clear her throat and her eyes widened. 

And in that moment was when Amethyst realized how much she does not approve of the way Jasper treats Peridot. The stories she's heard of from Peridot's starry eyed point of view. When she'd see Jasper's strong hand grip on Peridot's thin wrist. The fact that Peridot herself had felt obligated to say yes regarding the whole cheerleading thing man Amethyst question what else Peridot had said yes to when she wanted to say no. She shivered at those thoughts and Peridot turned to stare at her, her mouth hanging open. 

“I really needed her.” Peridot glared at her shoes and clenched onto her own arm tightly. 

"Peri…” Amethyst began when they heard heavy footsteps coming down the hall and into the auditorium. 

There appeared at the entrance/exit of the auditorium was Jasper, with her dark, messy hair and still appeared to be in some work uniform, an apron tied around her waist. In her hands was a bouquet of dark red roses. Peridot and Amethyst just stood, leaning against the stage and Jasper dashed over in their direction. 

In the corner of her eye, Amethyst saw that Peridot was now holding onto the bars of the downstage pit that never seemed to be used. Instead of looking fragile and vulnerable like she had two minutes ago, she looked absolutely furious.

“Babe-” Jasper began, holding the flowers out to Peridot and preparing her apology speech.

“How could you!” Peridot whisper screamed and instead of reaching for the flowers, she tried to push them to the floor, and they would've had Jasper not been keeping her hold strong. “I needed you!” 

“P, I'm sor--” Jasper's deep voiced had a pleading tone underlying. She moved closer and tried to bring her into her arms but Peridot used as much strength as she could muster and pushed her off of her. 

“Don't!” Peridot spat out, her green eyes shining with tears. “How often does an occasion occur that I ask of something from you?” She questioned, stomping her foot down. 

“P, I'm sorry.” Amethyst heard that Jasper's voice cracked and she felt bad, while Peridot just huffed at it, turning her face away and crossing her arms. Jasper's hazel-green eyes shifted to look at Amethyst and it made her uncomfortable. 

“Right, I'm going to go…” Amethyst smiled awkwardly and turned on her heel to leave but Peridot clenched onto her sleeve. 

“No! You're taking me home! Wait here.” She announced and shot a dark look at Jasper. “Don't talk to me, and you know what, bye!” With her chest out, she left, probably to go change or to the band room. Jasper followed her with a growl and Amethyst was left there. 

Rather awkwardly, she stood, leaning against the stage, hands in her pockets and looking at the ground. Yep, she definitely did not like the way Peridot was treated in their relationship. In fact, she didn't like anything about their relationship at all. When she had first heard about their relationship, she had been skeptical but she thought that was gone when she saw them interact for the first time, but it grew and grew the more she saw them together. 

Well, that didn't mean Jasper was a bad person, not necessarily. From the times she had talked to Jasper, she seemed to be kind and polite and she even had the same political views of her, which was an indication to Amethyst that she cared about others and their rights. She talked much about her family and what they did and how they came to the states, and the fact that she valued having one with Peridot made her believe that what she didn't wasn't intentionally malicious. Jasper didn't seem to pay attention to what she did, mistaking it for love. Surely, that didn't make it okay and it was still not healthy for Peridot to be in that type of relationship, but she knew that Jasper loved Peridot and that just because someone loves you, doesn't mean that they are good for you. 

Currently, she tried to find a way to help Peridot out of her relationship and then thinking that it wasn't her business to butt in, but then she reasoned that what if Peridot was to get hurt? This type of relationship could cause emotional damage to her. 

What broke her out of her thoughts was footsteps heading towards her and soon a heavy body leaned against the stage aside her. It was Jasper. 

The two of them looked at each other and Jasper was the first to speak, switching to her fluent Spanish. “La jodí.” (I fucked up.) She admitted. 

”¿Por qué no viniste?” (Why didn't you come?) Amethyst replied in her fluent Spanish. She had no response to the previous statement, because she knew it was true and it wouldn't do any good to rub it in.

“Él no me dejaba.” (He wouldn't let me.) Jasper groaned. 

“¿Qué? ¿Quién?” (What? Who?) Amethyst questioned, looking rather confused by who she meant by ‘he’. 

“Mi jefe.” (My boss.) Jasper looked down at her hands and sighed loudly. “Èl es ignorante. Es racista. Es un homófobo.” (He is ignorant. He is racist. He is a homophobe.) She looked ready to smash something. “Él no me dejaba ir a ver a mi novia.” (He wouldn't let me go to see my girlfriend.)

Oh. That was unfortunate then. Amethyst was going to reply but Jasper began speaking again, this time in English. “And I can't quit, I know that's what everyone says, but I need money. Sports are expensive and I love spoiling my girl.” 

From inside her pocket, Amethyst felt her phone vibrate and she pulled it out, looking at the time and who it was. She tried to hide Peridot's name from Jasper and quickly turned the screen back off. “Look, Jasper, I don't know a lot about you and Peri, but I'm pretty sure she doesn't care about being spoiled with gifts or anything.” Jasper stared down at Amethyst blankly. “For you to come to things like this is more important to her.”

This made Jasper feel defensive. “What do _you_ know about Peridot?” She gritted out.

“Chill out.” Amethyst put her hands out in front of her. “I'm just saying, she did great tonight and she really wanted your support tonight.” She began walking backwards towards the stairs of the backstage so she could walk over to the band room. “Peri’s really sensitive. She cares a lot about being accepted and she wants you to accept that this is what she cares about most. This is what she wants you to go to, not cheer things or anything like that.” She waved and opened the door backstage, and heard from behind her, Jasper shouted:

“You don't know us!” 

Once backstage, Amethyst pulled out her phone and made her way over to the band room, texting Peridot back. When she entered through the door, she was surprised that a lot of the band people were still there, talking to one another, though many looked ready to leave. 

Had she not been specifically looking, she would've not seen Peridot. She was tucked in an open tuba case, knees to her chest and her head down. She had clearly changed out of her uniform and Ruby from marching band was standing next to her, her tuba on the ground and she stared impatiently. 

“Peridot! Come on, Sapphire's waiting for me!” Ruby pleaded, glancing back at her girlfriend for a second, and Peridot popped her head up, a dead look on her face. 

“What's the _point_ , Ruby?” Peridot groaned in a strained voice. “Who even has an care for relationships? You know, we should start up a club about people without mates! A _lonely hearts club_ , if you would.” 

Ruby grunted and grabbed her case from the top and shook it so Peridot would tumble out. She did, and fell promptly onto her face. Angry, she looked up at Ruby with frustration in her eyes, about to retort something rude. 

But Sapphire was coming over, reaching her hand out to Peridot and offering her help up. Peridot accepted the hand and got to her feet, brushing herself off. Sapphire shot a mysterious smile to her and spoke in a cool and collected voice. “I can foresee that things will work out for your love life, Peridot. Don't stress yourself.”

“Ugh!” Peridot whined and spotted Amethyst, so she motioned for her to come over. “How would you view things in the future?” Peridot asked skeptically and Amethyst appeared at her side. 

“Don't cha know?” Ruby interjected, closing up her tuba case and pushing it to the back off the room where it belongs. “My girl's magical. She got super vision.” She got to her feet and walked to grab Sapphire close to her. “I don't know how, but that's my Saphy for you!” Ruby nuzzled into the crook of Sapphire's neck. 

“Psh.” Peridot scoffed and crossed her arms. “Until I am provided with the science behind it, including experiments and correct data analysis, I will not believe any of that.”

“Peridot.” Sapphire started. “I'm not trying to say that Jasper is forgiven or that I'm psychic. But believe me, your life will be alright.” She looked up at her and they made eye contact. Then, her eyes drifted to Amethyst. “Pleasure to see you, Amethyst. Ruby and I are going to Fro-yo Palace with the rest of the crew. Hope to see you two there.” Something about the way Sapphire was looking at the both of them, noticing the small space between the two of them made Peridot chuckle nervously and they left, hand in hand.

“Those two are weird.” Peridot pursed her lips, picked up her backpack and clarinet case, staring to make her way to the door. Amethyst followed not too far behind and lead her to her car. They both got in and Amethyst turned in her seat to look at Peridot.  
“Take me home.”

“Nope. You need to spend time with good vibes.” Amethyst declared, staring up her car and buckling her seat belt while Peridot just stared at her. 

“Good...vibes? I just finished from watching a band concert, this included vibes from a percussion piece that sounded very pleasant, for the most part at least.” Peridot stated, shooting a look at Amethyst. 

Snickering, Amethyst began to drive out of the parking lot. “No, Peri, I mean that you need to have a good day with your friends. Besides, I want to go too. Where are they going? Fro-yo Palace?”

When Peridot realized what that meant, she became annoyed. “I said take me home. Not take me to get ice cream.”

“Well, I was planning on going anyway and you're the one who grabbed a ride from me without asking. And it’s fro-yo.”

“Same thing!” Peridot grumbled but she knew that she didn't have a choice because it was true. She just decided on a ride from Amethyst because she wanted to make it clear that Jasper was not going to hold it over her head that she was supposed to be her ride. She was fuming in the passenger's seat and her thoughts trailed back to Jasper. They weren't thoughts she liked or welcomed. 

In all honesty, she probably would not be as angry if Jasper had told her in advance and not the day before. It was the fact that Jasper forgot about it completely and wouldn't have known if she wasn't discussing it yesterday, that she had ignored the other times it was discussed. The fact that on Saturday, they would celebrate their one year anniversary and she had felt like she was putting more effort into the relationship that Jasper was. 

Also, she was conflicted on what they were currently. Was that a fight or another on-off break up? In the past, not recently for a while, they had broken up over petty arguments, for about a day, which is why they didn't care about those when celebrating their anniversary. When Jasper went after her when she stormed away, she hadn't said anything about breaking up, but some pretty ugly words were shared between the two of them and Peridot wasn't sure if they were going to be okay before their celebration on Saturday.

Actually, she wasn't even sure at this point if she wanted them to be okay. Things had been confusing. Great and also not great at all. “Can you believe the nerve of her?!” Peridot brought it up even though she didn't want to. 

“Erm…”

“I have been to almost every game this season for her! This was the one performance that I needed her at! And she slyly suggests that if I was a cheerleader, I could be more ‘supportive’ or some crap! I am trying to be the most supportive girlfriend I can be!” Peridot ranted, running a hand through her hair. “Maybe I am doing this wrong.” She realized. “She clearly is more skilled in terms of relationships than I am, perhaps my inexperience is what is wrong.” 

“What the heck?” Amethyst asked ludicrously. “Peri, I can assure you that from an outsider's point of view, I know it's definitely not you.”

“So it's Jasper?” Peridot asked, her voice changing tones. “I am unsure, Amethyst. I love her and I want to forgive her but I cannot stop this feeling that maybe I was wrong? After all, she did try but was simply too late. Maybe it is me.”

“Calm yourself.” Amethyst tried to comfort but it didn't quite sound right. “Why would it be you?”

“Well…” Peridot sat up straighter, pulling her face away from her hands and looking over the dashboard. “Did you hear during the second set, the clarinet ensemble? I was the leader of the 2nd clarinets and my reed squeaked.” She slapped her hand against her forehead in shame. “And I do not know what part of my brain thought it would be a good idea to perform a duet with _Jade?_ Clearly, she is much more skilled than I.” 

After she finished talking, they arrived at a stoplight that was red and Amethyst turned to look at Peridot while she spoke. “Peri, believe me, Jade is good but so are you! You're great! You're friggin’ 15 and you could honestly become next Bach! The next Beethoven! The next Sousa!” Amethyst exclaimed, beaming. “I'm proud of you, Peri.” Her gray-looking blue eyes stared directly into the green ones. 

Color was always something Peridot thought she could go without, mostly due to the fact that she didn't care much for vivid colors and she almost always used a black and white filter for many pictures. But here, gazing into Amethyst's vibrant eyes made her heart speed up. She wasn't even quite sure why or how they looked more gray than anything, the blue color on the whiter side. But in some lightings, they looked almost purple. In this darkness, they almost looked like light and Peridot couldn't look away from them, even if she had always been bad at eye contact. 

For a reason that was unclear, Peridot was suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to grab Amethyst by the shoulders, lean over, and kiss her until she couldn't breathe. To lean against her body while their lips melted into one another's. To taste that cherry lip gloss she always used despite Peridot's recommendation of Chopsaver lip balm (“I like the taste, Peri.”) For a while, Peridot had been wondering what other girl's lips would feel like compared to Jasper's. All she's ever experienced was Jasper's lips. 

Both of them were lost in each other's eyes and a few seconds after it changed was when Peridot noticed the light turned green.  
“Go!” She exclaimed and she turned to face the front as a car behind them honk and Amethyst snapped out, turning and her eyes widened, pushing on the gas harshly. 

It was few minutes and a turn until Amethyst spoke. “Oh boy, that wasn't good driving, was it?” She asked nervously. “Hope I didn't scare you.”

“Hm.” Was all Peridot said. “How'd you miss that green light? All eyes on the road!” Peridot declared with lips pursed and her mind trying to kill any thoughts of Amethyst and there was a warm feeling in her stomach.

“I was distracted.” Amethyst smiled, not looking towards Peridot anymore. The bright lights of the sign made it clear that they were at their destination and as she parked, she could see their friends sitting inside and laughing through the window. 

“By what?” Peridot asked simply as the car turned off. 

In reply, Amethyst just smiled and started to get out, mumbling under her breathe. “Your beautiful eyes.”

A pink blush light up Peridot's face but she wasn't sure if she had heard her correctly. “What?” She didn't look at Amethyst while they were walking towards the door, looking down at her shoes. 

Politely, Amethyst held open the door for Peridot and when they walked in, they were immediately greeted by their friends, while the other few random guests there looked at them in confusion. They smiled and went to get their cups and start filling the whole thing. Peridot was clearly the type of person who went for every flavor and topping possible, getting gummy bears and cheesecake bites and stuffing the whole thing. Amethyst, wasn't that much more dignified either, though hers ended up being smaller than Peridot's. 

They weight theirs on one scale and Amethyst insisted on paying for both of theirs, despite her saying that the total was pricey for two people, but she shrugged it off and they went to join their friends, the chairs pressed close together. 

Sapphire smiled kindly at them when they sat down and they joined the various conversations that the band was having. They joked about many things and they were likely confusing the other patrons but they couldn't pay too much mind to them. Lots of inside jokes were shared, mostly about the memes they shared together and things that had happened over the past years. Jade told stories of what it was like to be in a secondary band and how much better their school's band was. 

“But anyway,” Jade shook her head and smiled at Peridot. “You did so great, Lil’ Dot!” She stopped calling her ‘Lil’ Dot’ when Peridot started her sophomore year but hearing the old nickname made her blush and even more so when the rest of the group joined in, complimenting her on her performances. “I'll be darned if you don't get the outstanding sophomore award!” They chatted about how much talent she's shown since freshman year and Obsidian noticed Amethyst playing around with her yogurt, a small smile and a far off look in her eyes.

“So Amethyst, how do you like marching band? Why aren't you in concert band?” He faked a stern and angry expression after asking the second question but couldn't keep it on. 

“Um,” Amethyst laughed nervously. “Marching band is good. Honestly I feel like I fit in more here than I do at my old school.” She confessed. “I miss them a lot though.” 

“Aw, but you dodged his other question.” Jade smirked maliciously and the other bandies nodded and stared at Amethyst intently, leaning in and invading her personal space. The only one who didn't get all up in her grill was Peridot, but she have an eyebrow raised and wasn't taking her eyes off her. 

“I don't know. I have to take P.E. and other than that I’m taking choir. Only two electives, ya know.” She apologized to them. 

“Why don't you take physical education courses on our district's online academy?” Peridot suggested quietly and when met with Amethyst's eyes, she looked down at her dessert and took a spoonful. 

“What? You can do that?” Topaz asked from the corner, wide eyed. “I would've never took it in real life had I known!” 

“Yes,” Peridot informed. “I took it and it was a painless course. It suggests exercises and various physical activities and you log your hours and success levels. In with it is a few health question, the sort that you are taught in life concepts.” 

“Oh man!” The freshman by Jade's side smiled awkwardly. “That sounds amazing! How do I sign up to do that? I smell double science!” She smiled and Amethyst wasn't sure of her name, which likely meant she was in orchestra.

“Well, Connie,” Peridot began and everyone watched her intently. “You request the course from the site your assignments are logged into. And you,” She paused and turned back to Amethyst. “Should definitely take the online course and participate in concert band instead!” She beamed at her, her metal braces shining. 

“Ehh…” Amethyst rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. “I can try, but would A even want me to join? Don't y'all have plenty of altos?” Her nervous laugh made Peridot suspicious.

“Almost a third of our marching band consists of saxophones.” Peridot deadpanned. “And he allowed you to join us, not only that, he gave you the big solo. I am confident he will not mind.”

“Yeah! Come on, you really want to miss out on my senior year?” Jade cockily grinned at Amethyst and she returned it. “You won't miss me?” She pouted jokingly and Amethyst snorted. 

“Barely!” She joked back and the rest of the band continued their chatter, inside jokes, and comments. And Peridot kept having to throw her head back in laughter, kept lifting her hand up to cover her beautiful smile and Amethyst felt saddened that she would want to cover something so joyful. Seeing Peridot like this was much better than what she had seen about an hour ago, Peridot screaming at Jasper or when she was moping in the tuba case. The gleefulness on Peridot's eyes as she chatted with her friends made Amethyst's heart melt.

That’s when Rubi, not Ruby, but Rubi, the inexperienced and newbie bandie who also happened to also be a junior like Ruby, decided to be an idiot at that time. “Hey Peridot, why didn't Jasper come? I wanted to ask her for the answers to the English worksheet.”

The smile that was lingering from the joke disappeared from her face quickly at the mention of her name and Jade, Obsidian, Ruby and Sapphire all looked at Rubi with annoyed expressions and Rubi began to sweat. Amethyst looked shocked and furious that someone would mention Jasper and seeing Peridot's smile gone made her heart sink. 

“Don’t know.” She lied. “I am not her keeper. Barely know where she is most of the time. For all I am aware, she could be somewhere having intercourse with that horrid Jesica.” Peridot remarked distantly, closing in on herself and using her spoon to mix her melted dessert.

The grumpy statement made the room fill with tension and they all nervously laughed it off, but Peridot stayed the same, her energy gone and she only offered fake half smiles while she stared into her bowl. And her mood didn't please Amethyst. She hates seeing her fragile friend like this, like when she had seen Peridot during her attack. Peridot always seemed to act all hard and strong, but it was becoming clear that she was just as soft as the others. 

After that, not only was the mood spoiled for Peridot but it was also spoiled for Amethyst. She watched Peridot. Peridot stayed mostly quiet, until she tapped Sapphire's shoulder to the left of her. “Hey Sapphire?” She started up, looking around nervously and dropping her voice low. 

“Yes, Peridot?” She responded softly and when Peridot moved closer towards her, Ruby wrapped her arms around her girlfriend protectively. 

“You said… That everything will be alright? Between Jasper and I?” Peridot blushed at the fact that she was asking about the future from a girl who had everyone thinking she was psychic.

“Hm,” Sapphire hummed and her eyes moved to Amethyst for a second, who was staring at them and was quick to avert her eyes away. “Your love life will be okay. Everything will turn out alright. Your love will not be wasted.” 

“How do you know? Does Jasper apologize or shall I?” Peridot sounded almost desperate to know more from the mysterious girl. 

Ruby groaned at Peridot not catching onto to Sapphire's subtle hints. Of course, Peridot was always the oblivious type and Ruby probably did have an unfair advantage, having known Sapphire for longer. “I cannot tell you specifics. I can only see what the outcome will be and their possibilities. You don't have to believe my judgment as I do not have any scientific explanations.” At this, Peridot's eye grew annoyed. “Love finds its way with you.” 

And Peridot wanted to believe this, but as she moved away and pulled out her phone, gazing at the multiples texts from Jasper, she wasn't quite sure if she did. 

Turning around in her seat, she looked at the chubby girl sitting to the right of her. “Can you please take me home?” She sounded pleading and Amethyst didn't want to end the night like this, but she knew Peridot really needed some time on her own. 

“Yeah, sure.” And the pair stood up, announcing that they needed to get home and the group bid them goodbye. They made their way home. Peridot sitting moodily in the passenger's seat, not much sound other than Peridot hitting her foot against the door. And buzzing. The sounds of Jasper's texts coming to Peridot's phone. 

Peridot always seemed to do a lot of thinking in the passenger's seat of Amethyst's van. Her thoughts about Amethyst from early hit her mind and she tried hard to erase them, even going on her phone to gaze at some of her and Jasper's old pictures they had taken together. 

A quick glance down and Amethyst snickered. “Tough luck you seem to have. Good luck on your relationship.” She offered. 

“Thank you…” Peridot spoke softly. “I wish you luck to yours as well.” Amethyst flinched and Peridot sat up a little straighter, stopping her foot. “Speaking of which. When I texted you earlier, you had responded saying that you would not be able to attend tonight because you had a meeting with Lazuli. What ever happened to that?” She asked curiously. 

A loud, long sigh came from Amethyst and she remembered what Lapis had said about Peridot. She tried not to think of it. “It's complicated. To be honest, I had planned on ending our ‘relationship’ or whatever today cuz I don't think we're right together. I really wanted to tell her today but… I don't know. I wanted to support the arts. I wanted to support my friends. Most of all, I wanted to be there to support you.” She told her truthfully. 

“Wow, thanks.” The reply was immediate and automatic. “Heh…” She chucked sarcastically to herself. “My own girlfriend wouldn't take the day off to see me and my duet partner did.” She cackled fakely. “How terrific. What a great lover she is.” Even though that is what they were, it hurt Amethyst a little to just be referred to as a ‘duet partner’. “Thank you.” Peridot offered a sweet smile. 

In her thoughts, the fact that Amethyst had put more effort into being their for Peridot made her all the more confused and the urge to grab her roughly the way Jasper did to her and ambush her with her lips, she didn't. And she also realized something.

She realized that urge was likely due to her emotional state. Sure, she wasn't crying but she did feel very unhappy and wanted to be held by her girlfriend. She was simply replacing Amethyst in her mind instead of Jasper, because of her pettiness and convenience. Also, the fact that the two did have their similarities. Their long, rowdy hair, their bigger builds and strength, their ethnicities, the way they looked at Peridot. 

And the fact that they both were extremely attractive and every touch from them made Peridot's skin feel like it was on fire. Oh, and obviously that Peridot felt the need to kiss both of them. Obviously, she had only kissed Jasper, though, but the emotional state from what had occurred today and likely that her cycle was going to start soon explained it. She'd never felt this way towards Amethyst before. It was nothing to worry about. 

Another thing to think about was that they were just thoughts. If she was acting on it, that's what would be a problem. After all, this was the first day that she had even thought about her in this way. She's almost certain that Jasper has looked at many other girls in such a manner, since girls (and guys) made a move on her even with Peridot present. And she was sure she only felt like this because she missed her real girlfriend at the moment. 

Looking up, she realized Amethyst had parked in front of Peridot's house and she turned over to smile at Peridot. “We're have arrived at our destination, boss!” She saluted to Peridot in a joking manner and cackled.

“Boss?” Peridot asked, furrowing her brows and grabbing her mini backpack from the bottom of the seat. 

“Yes! Your chauffeur reporting for business!” 

“Ugh, no.” Peridot declined that joke and cringed. “However, thank you for the ride and for purchasing my frozen yogurt.” She smiled and gave Amethyst a thumbs up. 

“Yeah, sure thing, Peri!” With that, Peridot grabbed for the handle and slung her bag over her shoulder and she was going to get out to leave. 

“Wait!” Amethyst shouted a little too loud and quickly unbuckled, throwing herself at Peridot with her arms wide, securing them around her waist, resting her head on her chest. 

A squeak came from Peridot out of surprise from the attack hug. But for the first time out of all the times Amethyst has been wrapped around her, she moved one arm around her friend as well. “Amethyst?” She asked, voice quiet. 

“Be safe, okay Peri?” Amethyst nuzzled her head against Peridot, a pout on her face. Something in her felt scared for her naive friend. 

“Okay. Always am.” Peridot nodded and hesitantly pulled away from Amethyst. “Get sleep, it may be a concert day but we have a test in chem tomorrow. Good night, Amethyst.” Amethyst held onto her a little longer but when she pulled away, she reached to the backseat and pulled out a single rose, offering it to Peridot. 

“I didn't have time to go out and get a whole bouquet…” Amethyst blushed. “So I found the prettiest one from my garden and took the thorns off.” She chuckled anxiously. “I don't know what kind of flowers you like… All I've seen is what Jasper's given you but I'm so proud of you.” 

Stuttering, she patted Peridot's shoulder. “I'm sorry Jasper couldn't be here, but I'm so proud of you for everything you do. Like, you're great.” She wanted to hit herself because she had planned a whole speech but stopped because she thought she might end up spilling what she's been thinking of Peridot. 

Peridot's eyes were widen and the green seemed to light up in the darkness. “Thank you.” She accepted the flower sincerely and hopped out of the car. 

As she walked away, Amethyst waited. She waited until Peridot entered the house and was out of sight before driving home. On the ride home, she thanked herself for being smart enough to not make any accidental moves. Her mind went to switching her schedule to join concert band and the idea sounded tempting, but at this point she was scared that she'd let her feelings for Peridot out and ruin their friendship and that was what she did not want to do.

Jasper didn't seem to be on good terms with her anymore, for suggesting she treat Peridot better. She'd have to apologize for talking when she probably shouldn't but she couldn't help herself. Peridot deserved better.

But Amethyst wanted to be the one to give her better, she wanted to be the one to make her smile again...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Jes' name is spelled like 'Jesica' with one s cuz I don't like it spelled that way and I don't like Jes. I'm petty.
> 
> Also, you can be in only marching band and not concert band. Lots of kids do that. and you CAN do PE online at my school. It isn't made up lmao. 
> 
> Reviews/commentary? :0 I track the tag 'dmoyh' on Tumblr so if you have any thoughts or fanart or whatever related to the this, tag it as that. c: 
> 
> New chapter might come out earlier than this one, cuz I don't think it'll be that long tbh. :x


	12. One Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's game day. Peridot's forgiven Jasper and they leave to celebrate their one year anniversary. Jade goes to have a talk with Amethyst at her house unexpectedly. Feelings ensue. 
> 
> Amedot moments and many talks of their feelings. Also moments of Jaspidot. Brief Lapithyst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS. I didn't mean to take a whole friggin' extra week to write this. I would've been able to get it done had I hadn't started having so many ideas for other fics... This was going to be 8,000 words. I'm not sure what happened. 
> 
> How can I made it up to y'all? ;-; I feel really bad, but I can't stick to a schedule ever and while I never said I was updating on Fridays, I have done that for the past few chapters. I think updates will be on either Thursday, Friday, or Saturdays, probably will vary, unless y'all want me to have a schedule? 
> 
> I _might_ post a new Amedot one shot. Don't know if it'll get changed to a multi chapter? That's the whole reason why this was later, that was one of the ones I put THIS chapter off for writing that fic. 
> 
> My Tumblr is justadapperbowtie so if you wanna hit me up with prompts to write for Amedot, since that gives me a little more freedom to write outside of this universe. I might not get them done though.. I have a lot of things I've never written in my inbox.

Throughout the week, Peridot avoid Jasper and only talked to her through text. In text, they were okay. Jasper apologized and explained and Peridot missed her and didn't want things to be bad for them on their anniversary, because she knew she didn't want to break up. But Peridot didn't talk to her or touch her or even look at her until the game on Friday. 

And like every time, Jasper thought the way to apologize to Peridot was by giving her gifts or doing something extravagant. She didn't listen to Amethyst's remark about how ‘spoiling her’ isn't what she should be focuses about. Because clearly she didn't take this into consideration when she did what she did at the game. 

It was a normal game day. Amethyst was throwing in her uniform, having Peridot zip her up and she beamed at her, while Peridot sent her a confused look. “Why on Earth do you seem unusually happy?” She questioned suspiciously. 

“No reason!” Amethyst giggled. “I just think today will be a good performance. Good day overall.” She explained. 

“Oh… that's weird.” Peridot grumbled and played with the unused buttons at the front of her marching jacket. 

“Maybe… But we're all weird here.” Amethyst whipped out her phone to Peridot. “Hey Peri, let's take a selfie in our marching uniforms.” Before Peridot could say anything, she pulled Peridot into her arms and started taking pictures of the two. It took a while for Peridot to get comfortable but she smiled at the camera. “Nice. Memories with mah home girl!” 

After she was let go, Peridot moved to her usual seat on the floor, where she sat during their lunch period, their study hall, anytime she was in the band room and not playing, basically. Amethyst followed her and sat at her side. 

“Have you discussed with your counselor about switching classes?” Peridot began, raising an eyebrow. 

“Uh…” Amethyst looked around and chuckled. “Nope. I will, probably, eventually.” She began to put her hair up in a bun rather than just a ponytail she had for rehearsal, but now was tailgate time and she had to put on her shako soon. “Whenever I have time.”

“I'm sure you have _time_ anytime.” Peridot responded disappointedly. 

“I'll get to it eventually. Don't worry, I wanna be in concert band with you guys.” She reassured her, grunting as she pulled her hair around until it was in a sturdy bun. Which was true but that would present her with more temptation and she was already fighting the urge to kiss Peridot by the cute look she was giving her in her uniform. 

The blonde hummed and pulled out her phone, answering a text from Jasper. Amethyst caught a glimpse of it and she raised an eyebrow. “Everything alright with the big man?” She joked.

Pausing in her texting, she stared down at her conversation with her girlfriend. “I don't know. We are texting just as normal but I have not seen her physically since the recital.” She grumbled. “And we are still planning on celebrating our anniversary tomorrow but… I am kind of scared, to be honest.” A nervous chuckle escape from her mouth.

“Well, at least you'll see her today. I'm scared to see her, I think I pissed her off at the concert. Remind me to apologize to her, yeah?” Amethyst looked at the clock and fished in her purse for a granola bar and started eating it. 

Slowly, Peridot turned towards her with wide eyes. “What? Oh my stars, what did you do?” Her voice raised with pitch and she looked petrified. 

“Um, nothing?” Amethyst blushed now, looking embarrassed and she didn't want to tell Peridot. “It's just…” She trailed off and anxiously took a bite of her bar. Peridot seemed to be in a much better mood than she was a few days ago and she didn't want to ruin that. Peridot needed to get out of that relationship but she didn't need to be talked to about it right before a conversation. “Nothing really much.” She took the last bite of her snack. 

“Whatever.” Peridot sighed and a few minutes later, Mr. A announced that they needed to start marching out to the field and to the bleachers. Peridot signed and put on her shako, noticing Amethyst staring at her the whole time that they were setting up in their block. 

.

Out on the field, during half time, the cheer squad did their routine, receiving loud applause from the audience and the fake smile on Jes’ face. As the cheer squad made their way down to sit at the sidelines, passing the band, Valeria smiled kindly at Peridot. “Hey Peridot, good luck!” And she was caught off guard but managed to form a smile and not at her. 

Behind her though, leaning against her back was Jes and she had an evil smirk on. “Yeah Peridot, _break a leg._ ” She made a point to look down at her prosthetic leg that looked normal under her bibbers. “Oh wait… Too late.” She snorted and Valeria shoved her off and sent Peridot an apologetic look. 

Rolling her eyes, she looked down at her feet until she saw Jade in front of her begin marching on the field and she followed in suit.

The performance went as it usually did, pretty good but not many people were paying too much attention anyway. Usually they went to buy concessions after the cheerleaders performed. When Peridot went to the sets at the front, she noticed Valeria smiling kindly and nodding at her and she had to remind herself to thank her later for being so kind to her. She was glad her reed wasn't giving out on her, as it had been when she was in concert band. 

She also noticed Jasper from the bench staring at her and she was cheering for her. That was when she realized it was her solo time. Rushing, she rushed through it and thanks stars that Amethyst was able to take over because she felt like she was forgetting everything. From just one look at Jasper. Eventually it ended and got the quiet applause from the less people there was in the audience. 

They stood there holding their last pose and started to march off the field and to the sidelines when she heard the announcer's voice get taken by one that sounded very familiar to her. 

“ _Hey everyone!_ ” She heard the voice call out and many looked up to look at the announcer's box. Peridot nearly laughed loudly when she noticed her girlfriend up there, a grin on her face and waving down. “ _I just wanted to take this time…_ ” Peridot giggled as she saw the usual announcer reaching to snatch back the microphone but Jasper was strong and able to stop him. “To say that tomorrow is the one year anniversary for me and my girlfriend!” She shouted out and cheered for herself and the whole band turned to look at Peridot, who was blushing furiously. “We met down there, where she's standing right now and I knew I would be tied to her!” 

The microphone sent back feedback and everyone covered their ears but Peridot was just smiling up at her lover and she twirled her clarinet. She heard something that sounded like someone saying ‘you can't do this’ but Jasper clearly didn't care. “I cannot believe it has been nearly a year with my girl. I love you, Peridot Madan! Happy anniversary!” Peridot watched as she was quick to let go of the microphone and run out of there and onto the field. 

“Damn.” Amethyst whistled from behind her. “Girl goes way out, doesn't she?” 

And Peridot wanted to hide and wanted to scream out her love for Jasper at the same time. She listened to the wolf whistles and teases coming from the other members for her band and didn't miss the way Mr. A was looking at her. She had never been very good at dealing with attention and her face was heating up. But at the same time, she was happy to be recognized by her girlfriend, considering most times she felt ignored. She noticed Jasper coming into her line of view and she ran up to her, while Jasper held her arms out and hugged her, spinning her around as if they were in some cliché romantic movie.

Nothing else seemed to matter to them. Except when Mr. A called her name and glared at her. “This is game day, Peridot. Your team needs you.” 

Pulling away reluctantly, Peridot rolled her eyes at him, something she never did but luckily, he was already turned around or she would've gotten terrified. She had to apologize to her girlfriend and get up to leave, even though they always got a break during third quarter, her girlfriend obviously didn't. 

She went to her spot and sat down, pulling her stand down too and holding her clarinet in her lap while she moodily stared at her band director's back. Stupid guy, just mad he couldn't celebrate his anniversary because he was freshly single. Who cares. 

.

“Go ahead and change, babe, I need to get out of this stinky uniform too. I'll be here when you come back.” Jasper told Peridot, speaking gently, smiling from their victory and that their season was extended because they were going to the state competition. 

Nodding in agreement and kissing her on the cheek, Peridot turned on her heel to run to catch up with the rest of her band, who were getting called to attention to march back to the band room, she rushed to go toward her spot. No one said a word and they began the percussion music, and off they were, to the band room. 

And when they were in the band room, Peridot never broke form as fast as she did then. Her small body fell to the floor when she was down at where her case was, and she started to take apart her instrument. It was done with and she began undressing from her uniform and soon enough, she was in her show shirt and thin sweat pants. 

She reached for her clarinet and backpack, bidding a goodbye to Mr. A and Jade, heart beating faster than she thought it could, and she felt excited and nervous to move down to the field, she pondered where they might be going because all she knew was that she had to bring stuff for at least a day away from home and that Jasper had apparently planned something ‘special’ for them. 

As she walked out the door and made her way back to the field, she heard the door open again from behind her and she turned around to spot Amethyst. They met each other's eyes and all that Peridot did was give her duet partner a smile and small wave of her hand. Turning back around, she was going to start walking until Amethyst shouted out to her. 

“Peri!” Amethyst jogged to catch up to her friend, her signature smile on her face. “Ya going to see your girl?” She asked teasingly. 

“I had assumed that it would be obvious, however, yes.” The proud smile on Peridot's face made Amethyst forget what she wanted to say. 

“R-right.” Amethyst coughed, staring down at her saxophone case. “Whatcha guys gonna do? Have dinner? Get sexy?” She snickered when Peridot blushed darkly. 

“No,” Peridot continued walking and Amethyst followed her, despite that her car was in the opposite direction. “I don't know, I just am looking forward to spending time with her. I am more comfortable keeping my relationship private.” 

“Alright, alright, I got it.” Amethyst held her hands up in surrender. Peridot just hummed in reply but Amethyst snatched Peridot's wrist, turning her around. The blonde stared in shock and her green eyes looked at Amethyst's hard around her. 

And again, there was that feeling. That feeling that her skin was burning, like she was heating up but she didn't want Amethyst to let go of her. Her stomach felt tingly and she felt that feeling that she wanted Amethyst to hold her, to press her body against her and kiss her until she could breathe. She swore she felt a phantom pair of plump lips on hers and she reached her opposite hand to touched at them. “What?” Peridot's high voice cracked. 

Then, Amethyst pulled on Peridot's wrist and pulled her in closer to her, until their bodies were an inch apart and Amethyst then wrapped her arms around her, resting her head in the crook of her shoulder. Peridot could feel herself become a little disappointed at being so close to her face, and not getting what she was suddenly craving for. She wanted to experience it.

“Be safe, okay?” Amethyst whispered against Peridot's neck and she shivered back in reply. The chubby girl didn't want to let go, it was almost as if she was scared to let her go. She sighed against Peridot's sensitive skin again. The need to kiss the skin, to lick it and leave marks over her was strong but she knew she couldn't, because Peridot wasn't hers to mark.

“Always am.” Peridot stated, trying to hide the way her voice was wavering and she blushed as Obsidian and Jade drove by, with Jade screamed out the window to them. 

“Good luck, Dottie! Have fun!” She yelled out and Obsidian chuckled as they drove away. This caused Amethyst to pull away to look at them, then waving at them. 

Which made Peridot even more disappointed. She wanted to feel Amethyst back on her, to be held by Amethyst for years and for those lips to kiss against her neck, not speak against her. She had been so distracted by resisting the urge that she had even forgotten to hug back, a habit she kept trying to get back into.

“Anyway,” Amethyst looked away when the car was out of sight and grinned at Peridot. “Have fun, okay? Congratulations.” She reached out to pat her shoulder. 

“Right…” Peridot watched Amethyst start to walk back to her car. “Thank you.” A thumbs up was sent her way and Peridot felt like she forgot how to move, but eventually made her way down to the field, feeling like absolute garbage. 

Because she really shouldn't be thinking about kissing other girls when she was walking to go see her girlfriend to celebrate their one year anniversary. The fact that her duet partner's just happened to smell like gardenias, her favorite flower, not like roses like Jasper always liked to assume. 

When she reached the end of her field, she appeared in Jasper's sight and Jasper wasted absolutely no time to run up to her, engulfing her in a tight embrace. “I love you, I love you.” Jasper breathed out against her hair. “You're so perfect.” After that, Peridot was going to argue that she was indeed not, that her leg was clearly defective and that she was far from perfect but Jasper picked her up to carry her bridal style. 

This made Peridot's face heat up with embarrassment but she didn't protest. Jasper helped her into the passenger's seat of her own car and put her clarinet in the trunk, alongside her bag. After a few laughs and teases, they made their way to wherever they were going, Peridot still didn't know. 

.

It was 12:09AM when they reached their destination. It was in a small town, about an hour away from where they lived. Jasper explained that this was one of her uncle's timeshares and that he was letting her use it. The room they had was big, had a kitchen, a faux fireplace, and a living room with soft couches and a big TV and BluRay player. In the bedroom was a large waterbed, another TV with a BluRay, but this one had a selection of movies on the shelf next to it, books too. On the bed were a box of chocolates and roses (a special package you had to put more money into) and wine was on the coffee table beside the bed.

“I'm not drinking again.” Peridot made it clear that she wanted to be sober. “And neither are you.” Jasper just chuckled and shook her head. 

“It just came with the ‘couples’ addition to the room.” She shrugged her toned shoulders and moved to walk towards her small girlfriend. “What you think?”

“It's very nice.” Peridot cracked a smile when Jasper grabbed hold of both of Peridot's hands, swinging their arms around playfully. “But to bring fairness into this, if you would bring me to a dumpster to spend our anniversary there, I would still be very happy as long as you are there, keeping me company.” She was being sincere and her smile was sweet. “I told you this before, I do not care about shiny or sparkly objects, as long as you are with me.” 

“What can I say?” Jasper tried to act bashful but she really wasn't. “I love spoiling my girl.” 

“To spoil me,” Peridot began, pulling Jasper closer, until she could press her cheek to her muscular body. “Is to provide me with the love that you always do a splendid job with.” She swore she could spend all her life with her girlfriend's strong arms around her. 

“I love you.” Jasper leaned to kiss the top of Peridot's head. “And you know how to spoil me, right, babe?” Her hands began moving further down on the shorter girl's body, to cup her bottom and Peridot squeaked. 

Despite Jasper's roaming hands, Peridot could not for the life of her get her thoughts off of the mysterious goodbye that Amethyst gave her before she went to the field. It's like that hug was different from the rest, like that one made her heart beat faster than the rests and she desperately wanted to be a sinner and beg the girl to kiss her, but she didn't because that would hurt Jasper and yet she was daring to think of it while being groped by her. 

“Mhm…” Jasper pushed Peridot away gently, so she could look at her. “Babe, you're so perfect.” Her hazel eyes were moving up and down Peridot's body and was practically undressing her with her eyes. It was enticing and yet it wasn't what felt right at this moment.

“Not now.” Peridot pulled out of Jasper's embrace and moved to pull a loose T-shirt and baggy shorts from her backpack. She casually began undressing from her sweaty game day outfit. Her front was turned away from Jasper and she could still feel the girl's eyes glued to her. Trying to be as quick as possible, she threw off her show shirt and sports bra, tossing her T-shirt over her chest and replaced the sweaty shorts with new ones. 

“Why not now?” A loud, exaggerated groan came from behind Peridot and she heard the weight of a body on the bed. 

“Because I said so.” Peridot turned around, moving her arms up to let it loose from the bobby pins that were supposed to keep her hair tamed under the shako she wore. “We are to stay here until Sunday afternoon, is that correct?” 

Moodily, Jasper nodded and pouted. “But I want you _now_.” Her deep voice trailed out the last word and her hazel eyes stared into Peridot's green ones. The signature look was directed toward Peridot. 

“I…” Feeling her words get caught in her throat, the look was pulling her in and she knew she should look away but it was hard to find the strength to. Despite her words before, Jasper held her gaze while she started to undress herself, until all she was wearing was underwear. It was erotic and Peridot's face was warm. Finally, she looked away, her eyes no longer being hypnotized by hazel ones. “I am experiencing great fatigue as I am sure you are as well. What we need is rest.” 

The frown was back but Jasper sighed, nodding, crawling under the blanket instead of over it. She had strong libido but her main priority was making sure Peridot felt safe. At least when she was like herself, that's what it was. Silently, she had been worrying that her new insomnia pills were doing things that usually don't happen to her, but she had started to think she was imagining it. The pills were working though, and she was starting to feel tired on her own, but she still had to take them. When they first arrived, she popped some, this was her last day on them, however and they had had excellent results. 

Snapped out of her thoughts when she felt her petite lover move under the blanket beside her, and that she had already popped her prosthesis off. On instinct, her arms pulled her in closer. Their lips came together and they were lazily kissing, lips just touching for the most part. Not much movement, both of them sleepy, holding hands. 

“Happy anniversary, babe.” Jasper whispered against the thin lips. 

“Happy anniversary, Jay.” Peridot pulled her mouth away and scooted closer and they fell asleep like that. 

.

Amethyst lay at home, knowing it was the weekend and that she could read all the fan fiction she wanted. She couldn't focus much on the fictional couples when she had to deal with her own ‘girlfriend’, love interest or whatever. They had an argument and Lapis video called her ten minutes ago to talk. 

The two of them still haven't really gotten to talking about real things, just laughing at jokes and making small talk. They were sending each other dumb videos and memes and watching the other's reaction.

“Hey Lapi, should we talk?” Amethyst asked after she recovered from her laughing fit. 

“We probably should, but I kind of don't want to.” Lapis stuck out her tongue and sent a charming smile through the screen.

“Heh… No, I think we need to.” Amethyst looked apologetic.

It made her heart clench at the way the smile disappeared fast from her face but she nodded. “This isn't working out?” Lapis guessed and tried to look bored but Amethyst knew she wasn't too thrilled about it. 

“Yeah… But it's not you, we just aren't exactly clicking anymore.” Switching positions on her bed, she tried to find a position that felt more personal, if that made any sense at all. 

“I thought we had great chemistry.” Lapis sighed, biting her lip and Amethyst had known so much about her lips that she knew they were chapped and she was going to peel them. 

“Don't chew on your lip, Lapis.” Amethyst scolded and it didn't stop the other girl. “I mean, we had chemistry but in the ‘I want to eat you out while Nicki Minaj plays in the background’ way and not the ‘I want to wife you up’ way.” 

Hurt was evident on Lapis’ face. “I did it again. What is so unappealing about me that you don't think you could be with me?”

“Nah Lapi,” Amethyst shook her head violently and took a sip of her soda. “I can't exactly provide you with a reason why, it just… Doesn't feel right. Sorry dude.” 

Silence followed and Amethyst focused on Lapis on the screen. There were grunts and she saw red appear on her lips. “Crap,” she cursed under her breath and the screen started moving again while she looked for a tissue to hold and control the blood. 

“Aw, home girl, only I can bite your lip. You're hurting yourself.” 

“Any other girls you're interested in?” Lapis asked nonchalantly. “I know we didn't work out but any you're interested in?” At Amethyst's expression of shock that she'd ask, Lapis shrugged. “I think that one girl on the football team is pretty hot.” 

“Wait wait wait.” Nearly falling off her bed, Amethyst was staring wide eyed. “Are you talking about _Jasper_? Peridot's girlfriend?” She snorted. 

“W-What!” A blush rose to Lapis’ face and she tried not to look embarrassed, trying to replace it with a sultry smile. “She's pretty hot, isn't she? She's in my science class.” This fact was still hilarious to Amethyst, so Lapis kept rambling. “Ha, get this! You can take Peridot while I take Jasper?”

Immediately, the laughter stopped from the other line while it started from Lapis. “What? Peridot?” Amethyst tried to laugh it off.

“Obviously you can't focus on us while all you think of is Peridot, I might as well get some good from it too.” Now Lapis looked plain out bored and looked to be making the screen smaller to use her phone and browse her social media. 

“Oh my god,” Every word Amethyst said started to shake and it sounded unsteady, uncertain. “Are ya trying to say I like Peri? You gotta be joking! Lapi, you're funny!” 

She felt her heart start to race, even while she lied to her ex whatever they were. Her lips were trembling at Lapis saying what she had been reluctant to admit her feelings. Was she being too obvious? When had Lapis found out? 

“Listen Ame,” Lapis’ eyebrows were furrowed and her eyes looked mysterious. “Don’t try to deny it because it's pretty obvious when you want to spend time with her more than me.” 

“Are you mad?”

Honestly, Lapis wasn't sure. And even if she was, she felt pretty uncertain if her feelings were valid because people always told her this is what she did to others. Supposed it was time that someone gave her pain rather than the other way around. “Don’t know.” 

“But I think I'mma go to think about it.” Lapis’ goofy grin came back. “If I decide I'm mad, I can call you later and scream, alright?” 

“Totally, girl.” Amethyst felt a little note at easy. “Before you leave though, I love you.” Her words were genuine. “In the totally non-gay friend way.”

“Thanks, Ame. Goodnight!” 

Skype made the ending call noise and after a few minutes, it read ‘lazuli.lapissed’ has gone offline. By this time, it was 12:03AM and Amethyst tried to go back to reading her fanfiction but her focus was lost. 

.

Peridot woke up to Jasper kissing her neck and she groaned, trying to pull away. “‘M tired...” She muttered and felt teeth graze against her neck, sending shivers down her spine. “What time is it?” 

With the sound of a pop, Jasper pulled away and went to grab her phone from the nightstand. “It's 11AM. Wanna get changed and go for breakfast?” 

“I’m sleepy.” Peridot sat up drowsily. A yawn escaped and she stretched. “Can’t I just stay here with you?” She asked, though she knew she didn't really want to be sleeping all day. “Not like we did much when we first started dating either…”

The frown and pout from Jasper made her chuckle. “I already planned this out, babe. I'm already changed and ready, I've just been waiting for you to wake up.”

“Well, I'm awake.” Peridot smiled. She moved to sit at the edge of the bed, pulling up her bag to pull out an outfit and grab her toothbrush and toothpaste. From behind her, she heard Jasper get off the bed and move to grab the remote from the TV. It was changed to some sort of local channel playing a sitcom that made Jasper chuckle here and now. 

A sudden alertness filled her mind and she quickly put her leg back on and stood up, moving to change in the bathroom, when she felt a hard strike against her butt when she passed Jasper to go. Her face flared up but she didn't say anything about it, moving to change in peace. 

.

“It fills me with so much happiness to be here with you.” Peridot admitted sweetly, smiling at her girlfriend from the other side of the tablet they were sitting at. They didn't go anywhere too fancy, just went to a Denny's near the place. 

“I love you too, P.” Jasper showed off her pearly white teeth and grabbed her hand resting on the table, making Peridot giggle. 

Even though she didn't seem too emotional or sensitive a person, Peridot actually love a lot of cliché romantic things. That didn't mean she wanted to be ‘spoiled’, as Jasper put it, but it did mean that she loved spending any time she could with her girlfriends. Things between the two of them haven't been the best and it's caused a lot of stress, but her being able to be here carefree with her made her smile. 

“You’re so beautiful, P. I can't believe you are _my_ girlfriend. Can't believe you're all mine.” If you listened close enough, you'd be able to hear the edge in her voice. As usual, Peridot was blinded by it and her smile didn't falter. 

“No, no, no.” Peridot shook her head, pulling her phone out and bringing up her documents and making sure to clear all her notifications. She found her file kept on her Drive of all the lists, charts and such she made in their first months of dating and updated every now and then. “Look!” 

Thrusted in front of Jasper's face was her phone and she took in, confused in her hand. Scrolling, she glazed over the document, listening to her girlfriend explain. “These were early analyses, therefore it may not be as accurate. But, I have been doing some updates.” One of Jasper's eyebrow raised in shock. “This is one of the files I made in our early stages of being in love. It explains how _you_ are more than I should deserve.” 

Jasper laughed her deep, low laugh. She read over the list, it talked about mostly the things that Peridot liked about her girlfriend. It ranked her on appearance and athleticism and everything, which made Jasper feel giddy. Then, her phone vibrated and a chat head popped up. 

In the chat head was a selfie of Amethyst and it said a number six. “Oh, who's th-” Peridot tried to reach over to take back her phone but Jasper shot her a look that made her freeze up and her hairs rise. Falling back into her seat, Peridot was only able to stare, feeling physically paralyzed. It's not like she thought she had anything to hide, but she didn't feel comfortable at people reading her messages without her consent. 

“Let's see what you're up to, P.” Jasper's smile seemed fake. “Oh, it's Amethyst, how fun.” Eyes wide, Peridot prayed that Amethyst didn't say anything appropriate because even one remark that was typical of her would get Jasper heated. Moving her thumb to click on the chat head and open it, Jasper was humming the tune for Seven Nation Army. It looked apparent that Amethyst was a multi texter. 

_G’morning Peri!!!!_ A sun emoji.  
_Where'd ya 2 end up going?_ A shocked emoji.  
_i’m going 2 buy some reeds later, u need any while i'm there?_  
_how are things with the buff Cheeto puff?_ A muscle emoji.  
_might make u happy to know Lapi and i broke up._ A crying and broken heart emoji.  
_fineee, ur not up I'm going back to bed._

It was a shocker to Peridot that Jasper didn't seem to be mad at all. She looked unamused and stuff the phone into her pocket, Peridot making a small sound of protest out of instinct. “You don't need it, babe. We’re on a date right now.” 

Nodding along with it, Peridot smiled back, trying to forget about her paranoia and wondering what Amethyst said. “So, am I right to assume that you are to be doing wrestling this year, and basketball?” Peridot inquired, resting her chin on her hand and trying to look interested. 

The smile that overtook Jasper's face was predictable. Any moment to talk about herself was a moment she loved.

.

Saturday's were Amethyst's lazy days. When she'd get to chill out, wake up late, and stay in her pajamas all day. It was 1:04PM currently and she had woken up for the second time from the doorbell ringing. No one else was home, per usual, so she had to begrudgingly get out of bed after the person kept on ringing it to no end. Yawning, she moved to the door and didn't even remember to check through the peephole before answering and mumbling, “I don't wanna join your church…” She didn't even look at who it was before she spoke. 

And when she did see who it was, her sleep crusted eyes widened and she rubbed at them furiously. There stood a tall, slim girl, staring down at the short girl and she was smiling widely. Her medium length hair was pulled in a back braid and she was dressed in a green skater skirt and a plain white shirt, while Amethyst literally just woke up and was wearing her fuzzy, dog patterned shorts and a gray tank top. In all honesty, Jade seemed a little incomplete without her boyfriend with her. 

“Jade?” Amethyst yawned, voice full of sleep. 

At this, Jade pushed past Amethyst and sat comfortably on her leather couch and made a face at Amethyst. “Okay, first of all, it's 1 in the afternoon, how did you just get up?” She questioned rhetorically but Amethyst still tried to answer and tell her that she woke up earlier but felt back asleep but she cut her off. “And second, go brush your teeth. _Please._.” Amethyst was going to question what she was doing in her home when Jade then pretended to gag and she stuck her tongue out before going to the bathroom to fix herself.  
While she was in there, she was able to ponder what Jade would be doing coming into her house randomly in the afternoon. Maybe she forgot to turn in their permission for for state? Or what if she needed to borrow some music from her? Maybe Jade was on her way to a performance before she came by and wanted to borrow grease from her? All the possibilities she was thinking of weren't likely good enough reasons to just drop on by to someone's house. 

After her teeth were clean, her breath didn't stink, and her hair was combed and put into a bun, she walked out to see her friend and woodwind captain. Walking, past the living room, she gestured for Jade to get up and follow her, and she did. They walked into Amethyst's kitchen and Amethyst started boiling a kettle of water. 

Jade sat at the chairs aligned across the counter, kind of like in diners, where you could sit near the kitchen and watch your food be made. She looked around the house and tried not to wrinkle her nose at the smell of smoke around the whole house. She watched Amethyst pace around, looking for food or something, eventually finding some pan dulce and pulling it out. 

“You want tea? Pan dulce?” Amethyst offered Jade when the tea kettle began screeching and she pulled it off the stove. 

“What kind of tea?” Jade asked and eventually decided on a flavor for drink and a bread to munch on. Amethyst moved to sit beside her, both of them just sipping for a while until Jade spoke. 

“So you're probably curious as to why I am paying you a visit.” She started up, taking a bite of her bread. 

“Yeah, ya didn't even text me or anything. I was wondering why you asked me so many questions yesterday about what I'd be doing today.” Amethyst replied, thinking back to the events that happened last night and she tapped her fingers against the counter. “Wasn't last night crazy? That Jasper stole the mic from the dude? I thought Mrs. Jackson would skin her.” 

“Yes… Crazy.” Jade mumbled mysteriously and took another sip. “How are things with Lapis?” She asked, making casual talk. 

“Oh man.” Amethyst laughed nervously and shook her head. “We did a trial run of a relationship. I don't think her and I are really good fit. Our chemistry is sensual but…” 

“That's a shame. Any reason why you two aren't clicking as you seemed to?” Jade questioned, trying to keep her voice neutral. 

“We're both more into the sexual aspect of one another but I don't need that kind of thing. I want a girlfriend. Peridot,” Jade flinched slightly. “Made me realize what I need.” 

“Right.” Jade nodded. “I'm here to talk about Peridot with you.” 

Immediately, Amethyst grew concerned. Her brows furrowed and her eyes seemed to turn lighter. Taking a bite of the basic concha before asking. “Is she okay? What happened?” She was fully prepared for any bad news that might come about her friend. 

A small smile tugged at the corner of Jade's lips. “Peridot's fine. But…” She wasn't quite sure how to bring this up. “Amethyst, what is your opinion on Peridot? How do you feel about her?” The chubby girl was going to question once again but the look in Jade's eyes made her stop. Being a section leader, she learned a lot about how to give commands to people using only her eyes. 

“Well…” Amethyst began. “She’s a really good person. She writes about social injustices on her blog, hoping to educate. She's also super funny, like without even trying. Oh my god, and her laugh is so cute, you know when she _really_ laughs, her face scrunches and she looks incredibly adorable.” Amethyst couldn't stop herself from smiling and she didn't notice Jade's polite smile was turning into a stern expression. “And it's remarkable what she does, she doesn't like that leg stop her from doing anything. She can be stubborn at times but…” Her voice trailed off before she cleared her throat and continued. “Peri's really nice, too. Sometimes she seems pretty harsh but it's not her fault, but she cares about others so much. Not to mention, she puts passion into everything she does. I think she chooses music over anything else. Why? Is Obsidian considering her for drum major?” 

There was silence while Amethyst sighed contentedly at the thoughts of her friend. Then Jade quipped up, shaking her head. “He doesn't decide drum major, but the way you're talking about Peridot reminds me of when I talk about him to others.” 

Feeling her heart racing, Amethyst's eyes widened and she began moving her tea back in circles around her mug, staring down.“What?” She asked quietly, simply, not wanting to look at Jade. 

“Peridot's dating Jasper.” 

“I know.” Amethyst's words came out a little harsher than she had intended to. “What about them?” 

“Peridot is my best friend.” Jade was no longer bothering with her bread, just taking sips and sips of her tea. “I actually first met her back in elementary, I helped her pick out the clarinet as an instrument when she was first joining band. She was in 4th grade and I was in 6th helping out at the stand for band recruitment.” Amethyst was surprised by this information. “She was so cute and smaller than now, timid. She was scared to try, going to opt for percussion until I saw through her lies.” 

Quirking up an eyebrow, Amethyst felt a little more at ease, thinking she was the one overanalyzing what Jade had said. “Aw, any pictures?” 

“A couple.” Jade's smile looked nostalgic. “I’m not here to talk about elementary school though.” She twirled around her braid. “Peridot is pretty much a little sister to me. Of course, I do have little siblings of my own, but Peridot seems like a sister to me.” Humming, she leaned her head down to meet Amethyst's eyes. “And I want to be there for her.” 

“As do I…” It sounded more like a question, Amethyst lifting her head up. “I want to protect her, which kind of reminds me-”

“Jasper is also my friend.” Jade told her. “Initially, I wasn't certain if I enjoyed her, but I do. Jasper, Dot, Dian and I hang out often. We go on dates all the time.” Talking the last sip of her tea and examining the little lines of tea leaf debris left at the bottom. “Jasper and Peridot are in love.” 

“Okay…?” Amethyst's expression was stoic. 

Clearly, Amethyst tried to hide what she really was feeling. “You don't understand. They're celebrating their one year anniversary today. They exist in perfect harmony. They go together like a melody and a bass line.” Jade tried to enunciated their relationship. “They look at each other the way Obsidian looks at fortississimo’s on his music.” She laughed to herself at her typical trumpet player. “Obsidian and I plan to get married after college.” She rubbed her hands together. “I've had my fair share of boyfriends. And I know I'm meant for Dian. Peridot and Jasper are also meant for each other.”

Though this was making Amethyst uncomfortable and she didn't agree with the statements she was making, she nodded along with it. While she did believe that Jade and Obsidian would marry and be together for the rest of their lives, she hoped and tried to believe that Jade was absolutely wrong about Peridot and Jasper. “Why are you telling me this?”

For some odd reason, this was frustrating Jade. “Because I know you have feelings for Peridot. That's why.” 

As if she had been paralyzed, she gasped, holding her breath, staring straight at Jade, her eyes wide and her mouth hung open, cheeks flushed a rosy pink. “I have no idea what you're talking about.” She stood up and moved to collect Jade's empty tea cup, as well as her own almost finished mug. Walking over to her sink, she then moved to stand against her dishwasher, looking at Jade from across the room now.

Rolling her eyes easily, Jade's smile turned cocky. “Oh please, it's obvious.” She didn't dare to avert her eyes from Amethyst's vibrant ones. “I can see it! You whole face lights up whenever you talk about her, I can see it in your eyes.”

Moving over to the fridge, Amethyst jumped up, trying to reach for something at the top, and it took her a few tries but she grabbed at the box and the lighter. Fumbling with the box, she grabbed out one long, fresh cigarette. She brought it to her lips and flicked the lighter to start, the flame was moved to the end. Jade visibly gagged. 

And Jade didn't quite know what to do. She hated the idea of smoking and it made her disgusted. Especially the idea of one of her people, someone in her section, smoking. In past events, she had a few run ins with some of her section members trying to smoke before or after or even during if it was an arranged sectional and she already handled it, but this was Amethyst's and she couldn't tell her what to do under her own roof. She could already smell it before Amethyst lit one up, but it was smelling grosser and grosser with every second. “You know that's really bad for you. Like seriously bad.” 

“Ya know, girl, if I was being honest with you, I don't really care.” Amethyst let out a puff of smoke and held her cigarette loosely between her fingers, letting out a raspy laugh. Her voice was much raspier than it usually is and she usually didn't smoke around her friends, especially the ones in band because they were all mostly against things of this activity. 

“And Peridot doesn't like smoking either.” The remark was intended to cause some type of reaction but it didn't quite do its job. “Neither do I, it's gross and as your section leader, I think it would do good to put it out.” 

“Nah.” Amethyst was being stubborn and she knew it. Sliding the pack over on the table, they stopped in front of Jade. “You can have one, if you want. This is the family pack.” 

With that remark, Jade's heart fell. A family pack? Of cigarettes? Did Amethyst smoke with her family? Did they just not care? “No thank you, I value my lungs.” The jab didn't have much of an affect on the Latina, though. Some of Jade confidence was slipping. “A-anyway…I know you like her, I want you to know that you should stop while you can.” 

“You're not only my friend, but you're also one of my people.” Jade was typical and called everyone in the woodwind section, her people. She thought it made sense and for some reason, it made the section feel more like a close group, which she loved because they had many people and she had always felt a little envious of the brass section, because there were few and they were close.

Not much was said from the other girl who was leaning against her fridge, smoking her cigarette, so Jade continued. “Peridot is a lovely person. That is a fact, and if I was gay, I'd probably go directly to her.” Jade laughed and Amethyst just hummed. “But she has Jasper. And Jasper treats her well, Jasper loves her and provides her with everything she needs. They're perfect together.” 

“So…” The smoker was trying to consider her words wisely. “What if I like Peridot? Not doing anyone harm, am I?” Amethyst didn't know what about this would be such a big deal that Jade would feel the need to go to her house without warning and talk about it.

“You're going to do yourself harm.” Jade's expression was sympathetic. “Dot and Jasper are the kind of couple that will be together forever, no matter what, they'll always go back to each other. And you know why, Ame? Because they're soulmates. Like Dian and I.” Jade began stroking her hands and Amethyst looked down and noticed a shiny new addition to her ring finger. 

“Wait, what?!” Amethyst nearly choked on the smoke and fell into a coughing fit. Once she recovered, she popped her head back up. “Girl,you're in high school and he _proposed?!_ ” 

“Nope,” Jade corrected. “It's a promise ring. Eventually, he will propose, but not yet.” Jade looked super happy to speak about her boyfriend. “You need to stop changing topics, missy.” This made Amethyst's face fall again. “You're my friend, Amethyst, I don't want you to get hurt, and I'm sorry to be the one to tell you but Peridot doesn't feel the same.” 

With furrowed brows, Amethyst studied Jade and the sorrowful smile on her face. “How do you know that?” 

“Because she has a girlfriend.” Jade was beginning to feel quite repetitive and the smoke was starting to burn her eyes. “Do you not understand this?” Her tone was increasingly becoming impatient. “I know what it feels like to have feelings for someone you can't have, you want to scoop them into your arms and kiss then for all they're worth. You imagine Skyping them for hours, just watching their beautiful smile and hearing their voice. You think, ‘wow, I want to grow old with this person’ but you can't, because they're taken. And even me saying this, Peridot's running through her mind, ain't she?” 

As usual, Jade was right. A mental image of Amethyst and Peridot cuddled up, with their legs tangled together and Amethyst singing Peridot's favorite songs to her, came to her mind and she didn't want to unsee it. She wanted desperately to feel Peridot's warmth and to feel her small hands find her own chubbier ones. It wouldn't have taken much, she could've kissed Peridot when she picked her up from that party, or from the cheer thing, could've felt her lips after they got fro-yo. Hell, she even had a chance to yesterday, when she was saying goodbye and telling her to be safe, but she didn't. Because that would be cheating and Amethyst was terrified of what Jasper would do to herself or maybe even Peridot. 

“Don't you think Jasper is a bit… Overprotective?” Amethyst took another long drag before continuing, trying to be cautious of her words. “Whenever I see her, she's polite to me but it's like she gets angry of Peridot talking to other girls and she always has such a tight grip on her…isn’t that like, suffocating her?” 

“She has no problem with me talking to Peridot.” Jade didn't believe her, clearly. 

“But you're not into girls, that's the thing. I feel like, maybe she's a bit controlling.” Amethyst stared down at the cigarette, watching it burn. “Peridot kind of let it slip to me about how she didn't want to tell Jasper no about something. And Peri is really smart and strong, but I can see that it wouldn't be hard for Jasper to take advantage of her and I'm worried.” 

This information made Jade question in her head for minute and she shook her head, slowly in disbelief. “Amethyst, I know you like her, but you can't joke like this.” 

“I'm serious!” Amethyst growled in frustration and grabbed the ashtray that was on the counter, putting out her cigarette. “Something about them doesn't feel right! You may be blinded by it, but I'm not! It doesn't… Seem right. And this is Peri's first relationship and she probably doesn't know what a healthy one looks like.” 

“Don’t make up lies, Garcia.” Jade's voice had the same tone as when she tells the alto saxes to stop fucking around, which Amethyst knew quite well from being in that section. “To imply something is going on that shouldn't be between them is too much.” 

“I'm not lying!” Her raspy voice crescendoed. “Jade, it just seems like she's not giving Peri room to breathe. I'm just a lil' concerned, man.” 

“Okay, if you're going to act like this, I'm leaving.” 

“I didn't even invite you over!” She watched Jade rise from her seat and give Amethyst another disapproving look. “Why do you believe Jasper and not me?! I'm in you band, I can be trusted!” Amethyst felt herself starting to believe that maybe she was over exaggerating things and that Jasper and Peridot were doing fine. 

Jade moved to clean up after herself and was just mumbling under her breath. Amethyst watched in awe. When she was done, Jade moved towards the door, about to leave. “Amethyst, I know you have feelings for her but I would've expected you to be happy for her.” After that, the door was slammed behind her and Amethyst plopped onto the couch in frustration.

.

By this time, it was lunch time, a little later but still. After they had their breakfast, Peridot and Jasper went back to their timeshare to hang out and relax. They were now in a park nearby, sitting and having a picnic, which was obviously Jasper's idea. Also store bought because neither of them were super into preparing the food for it. 

They had just finished eating and were lying on the floor, staring up at the sky. It was cloudy and dark, which Peridot was thankful for that because that meant they could lay like this without going blind, and cloudy weather calmed her down most often than not. 

“Do you ever think about what would happen if we had not started dating?” Jasper asked, her hand gripping Peridot's tighter. She scooted close. 

“On occasion.” Peridot admitted, biting her lip and also moved closer. “I would likely not be romantically involved with anyone. Probably likely to be poked at for fun as well.” Her mind thought back to her freshman year, when everyone had been messing with her and she even caught a group of people talking about her, mostly inquiring about her sexuality. 

“If we hadn't, I would have dated everyone by now.” Jasper admitted and she let out a playful laugh, even though her girlfriend did not find that funny at all and shot her a look. “Having one girl is nice, though. Really nice.” Their hands felt nice in one another's. “And she's all mine.” Jasper's hazel eyes locked onto Peridot's green ones. “No one else can _touch_ her, but me. Correct, sweetie?”

Green eyes stared back, pupils getting larger. She knew Jasper didn't mean any harm but Peridot was feeling a bit scared and wanted to tell her that she could do as she pleases as long as it wouldn't be cheating but she felt a tighter pressure on her hand. “Yes.” She felt pulled into her girlfriend. “I am all yours. Not even a brush a fingertips from anyone else but you.” 

“Alright, babe.” Moving to stand up, she kept hold of Peridot's hand, forcing her to get up as well. “Let's go to our next destination.” 

“Where are we going?” The short girl followed when Jasper started to walk back to her car. 

“Shopping. The mall we passed by. I'm buying you all you want.” 

Forcing a smile, in her head Peridot considered how nice it would be to have Amethyst here for the car ride. She would always sing while they were driving and it continued to blow her mind how she knew the lyrics to so many of the songs that came onto the radio. Jasper listened to Korean pop songs that she called her ‘guilty pleasure’. 

At the mall, Peridot was mostly dragged into stores. Left and right, Jasper was pulling things off racks and insisting she tried them. Many things were rejected and Peridot was quite pleased at what she actually did let Jasper purchase for her. 

Most of it, that is. She got a few new t-shirts of Marvel and cartoon shows, some jeans, a few comics, and new Vans that had been designed by a local artist named after an onion. Of a more feminine thing, Jasper also bought Peridot a dress that had music notes all over it and though she had felt self conscious walking out of the fitting room to show Jasper because her leg was out in the open, she had enjoyed the way it looked on her. A few other dresses of similar style were added too and she also got new, tall boots. 

And Jasper had pulled her into a Victoria's Secret store. Bought her a few things that she didn't care too much for, particularly some underwear that she thought would be uncomfortable but Jasper insisted on it. She also got some sweatpants that said ‘PINK’ on it and were surprisingly not pink at all. 

A couple of random candles and hand sanitizers were bought too, and when they passed by a store called Spencer's, a poster of Spiderman caught her attention and she pulled Jasper in. She should've known something was up at the way she smirked and pulled her to the back of the store. 

Back of the small store, there were ‘adult toys’ and pictures all over, and Peridot questioned why they were in a store that had Spiderman advertised at the front. Red had covered her whole face and she fast walked out of the store, leaving Jasper behind and waiting at a bench until she came back to her, a bag in hand, but it brought a smile to her face when she showed her the Captain America Pop! figure she had bought for her. 

While driving out of the mall parking lot, Peridot spotted a sign for some music store and she asked politely to go, which of course Jasper couldn't say no to. 

“Nyehehe…” Peridot snickered excitedly, looking around when they first walked in. For such a small sign, it was a big music store. “They have a surplus of items here! Oh my stars!” She let go of Jasper's hand and wandered away, but not out of sight and Jasper couldn't stop her smile.

Watching her girlfriend be so excited and giddy over something that seemed so boring to anyone else somehow made her feel more in love. The smile over taking Peridot's face was extremely pleasant and so genuine. Her girlfriend was really passionate about what she did and it's not like Jasper wasn't passionate about football or anything, but she wasn't ever as excited about it as Peridot was with band or music in general. Whenever at band related events, Jasper had always observed the way being in marching band was so much different from football. Football was full of so many different personalities as was marching band, but the people in marching band all seemed happy and nonjudgmental. 

Sometimes, she felt jealous about it. Not of Peridot being in band because it was has been mentioned to her that she should join band and she had already given so much thought as to why that is not a good idea, but because the band knew so much about Peridot. They had seen her at her worse, at her best, and best of all, they got to see her putting so much effort into her work. Jasper had mostly seen performances, except when she called Peridot over to chill and the clarinetist decided to bring her instrument with her. 

Things also made it seem like Peridot was protective of them too. Not in the way Jasper was protective of Peridot, but in the way that she always put band first and stared wearily at outsiders. She was quick to defend her passion or her friends, which wasn't something Jasper saw often in her crowd of friends. Passion was something Jasper had always been attracted to. 

“Oh wow!” Jasper heard Peridot exclaimed when she moved into the short mini aisle she was standing in. There was a book held in her small, bony hands. “I swear this is identical to the one I purchased when I was a child!” She flipped through it. “These arrangements, I am certain! I believe I still have possession of my copy from 4th grade!” Looking at it closer, Jasper could see it was a Star Wars sheet music book and she chuckled. 

Quietly, Jasper pulled her phone out and pretended to be texting out or browsing social media when she was taking pictures of Peridot nerding over the music and there were several more candid pictures taken of her lover showing her love for music with her facial expressions. 

Eventually, they left after Peridot has enough time to look through what felt like all the method and theory books, pick out a sheet music book full of complex clarinet solos and duets. She also picked up cork grease that she said she was running out of. Even had a little time to argue with the counterman about how chamber music should be taught in more high schools. The whole visit to the store left Peridot feeling happy, even if she didn't get much. 

A lot of energy was used in all that smiling and talking. That was the first music mega store she had been to, and it wasn't even that big compared to others. She didn't go often and she loved getting an opportunity to go. She was resting her head against the window, her eyes closed and her hand over Jasper's on her thigh. 

“You're amazing.” Jasper said over the radio music, making Peridot open her eyes too look at her girlfriend with lazy appreciation, not moving her head but squeezing the hand touching her thigh. 

“I’ve never met anyone like you.” Jasper turned for a second to meet Peridot's eyes, then straight back to the road. She had always been scared of getting distracted by Peridot and accidentally putting her in danger. “You’re so driven by your ambitious and I just… I love it, babe, it's wonderful. I love you. I'm glad I asked you out even when you were in that hard hospital bed and that potato sack gown.” 

Those words sent her back down memory lane. Peridot chuckled. “Yeah, well, you kissed me before anything, remember? And I was beyond puzzled because I have a memory of thinking, ‘Stars, this is Jasper, the gorgeous football star! The woman who is breaking all the gender roles at our school! She has her lips on mine! Wow!’” She mocked her freshman self and shook her head. “That was the first kiss that I ever experienced.” 

“I know,” The memory of the two wouldn't stop playing through Jasper's mind. “That was the first kiss that ever felt so right.” She remembered that it had taken her a lot to plan when to kiss her and it went down the drain because even they actually did, it was on impulse.

“I've only ever kiss you…” Peridot's voice trailed away and she felt Jasper's hand move further up while her concentration moved further away from her girlfriend.

Because she never felt like kissing other girls before even when she has crushes on other girls in middle and elementary school. Jasper had kissed her unexpectedly in that hospital bed and the thought of kissing anyone else besides seem pleasing. Not until a certain saxophone had entered her life and her band. As of late, the want to ask Amethyst to kiss her was getting intense and it didn't make sense. She felt happy with Jasper and it's not like Jasper didn't give her a surplus of kissed but she wanted to feel Amethyst's. To taste her flavored lip balm and feel the plush lips moving with hers. 

No soul was told about her urges, though. She wanted to ask Jade about it but she'd figure that she'd take it the wrong way. It's not like she had legitimate _feelings_ for her…right? Jade would probably think she'd want to break up with Jasper or cheat on her, but she didn't, she just wanted to feel her lips. At least that's what she thought. 

That wasn't the only problem she was having. She started seeing bits of Amethyst in Jasper, like their long, unruly hair which was probably around the same length but looked longer on Amethyst's shorter body. The two of them had somewhat similar humors too. Sometimes they would get this smile that made them seem almost feral. Their accents were even similar too, and when they spoke Spanish it was almost music to Peridot's ears.  
From what Peridot had understood, it probably wasn't a good idea to constantly see someone else's face while your girlfriend is talking to you kissing you. She tried to think of Jasper and all that came was Amethyst.

.

It was around 5PM when Amethyst was laying in her bed, her laptop in front of her and she kept going back and forth between two chats on Facebook. Neither of them were active. The conversation that she was having that was active was with Lapis on Skype, but Lapis went off to go swimming, as usual, so Amethyst wasn't talking to anyone. 

One of the chats was with Peridot. She had messaged her per usual, when she had woken up the first time in the morning but she hadn't replied then and she saw it was read earlier, but still no reply. She was going to message her and ask her what she was up to but she was left on seen and she lowkey wanted Peridot to message her first. 

The other one was of Sapphire. It was an otherwise blank conversation. The two of them had one another added on Facebook and shared a history class, other than that they never talked much to another, aside from a polite greeting. At football games and marching band competitions, Sapphire was always there cheering Ruby on. 

Perhaps it was dumb but Amethyst was going to ask her if she saw anything in the future about Jasper and if she had a bad feeling about her too. Usually Amethyst wasn't scared to message anyone but this was unnerving. After a long time debating she clicked out of the chat without sending a word and was shocked when it popped up nearly thirty seconds after it closed. 

_Hello, Amethyst. What would you like to talk about?_

Her blue eyes widened but she smiled, sending back a reply and thanking stars that Sapphire was able to sense it or whatever, even if it was a little weird. 

**Hey girl!!! You're like psychic or whatever? Can ya tell me if Peri n Jasper r one of those ‘forever couples’? :) I think something might be up with Jasper. :x**

_I cannot tell or see things as specific as that. I do not know if Jasper and Peridot are going to elope and get married, but I do understand what you mean with the Jasper part. I am concerned for her as well. Jade didn't take this theory well?_

Feeling a little freaked out by all that Sapphire knew and a little disappointed to get an answer like that, Amethyst sent back a text explaining everything, until she heard a noise indicate that Sapphire was trying to call her and hesitantly, she accepted. 

“Dude, I'm super confused and I don't know what to do!” Amethyst ranted on, leaning closer to the microphone on her screen. “Peri is a really good friend and I don't want to ruin things for her, but I'm worried about her.” 

“I see.” Sapphire's voice was calm and collected. “Something is telling me it is not in your place to interfere. Things could go awry.” Amethyst wanted to smack her textbook against her forehead. “The universe almost always has a plan and if it wanted you to interfere, there would be more signals. My best advice would be to leave it as it is and if things are progressively getting worse, then we can discuss interfering.” 

“What?!” Amethyst exclaimed. “What if she gets hurt or something?! Have you seen how big her girlfriend is? You're telling me to wait?”

“Yes, I am, and you will wait. Thank you for asking me. Good luck on your history packet.” Before she could stop her, Sapphire was gone and Amethyst was more frustrated. 

Though she knew it was mostly paranoia, Amethyst felt herself growing upset about what might be going on, wherever Peridot was. For a while, all she had been able to think about was when Peridot confided in her about how she was scared to say no to her. She was just worried that Jasper was going to or had already manipulated Peridot into doing things physically that she didn't want to.

Cursing to herself in her room, she tried to distract and brought out her saxophone. She brought up some of the free sheet music that was all over the internet and YouTube and played random songs, mostly pop songs that were common. She tried to practice some stand tunes too but those got boring quick.

Sighing to herself, she listened to a cliché playlist called ‘love songs by the alto sax’ and it was cheesy but she listened to them once and then again to try and play along with it by ear. She tried to use that to busy herself from Peridot but she imagined them sitting together on her bed, just practicing and not being able to because they'd be so in love. Yeah. She could only wish. 

.

Peridot was starting to feel weary about her gift to Jasper for their anniversary. It seemed so small and…cheap compared to Jasper's. Although Peridot was not materialistic at all and when Jasper had pestered her weeks before about what she wanted to do, she just said she wanted to have a sleepover with Jasper at her house and spend the whole day with her, this was a great day. She hated that Jasper was spending her money on her but she couldn't stop her because Jasper was always determined. 

Now it was dinner time and Jasper had made their meals, lasagna, salad, and garlic bread. The lights were dimes and they were sitting at the table, facing one another. They had been eating for a while and were discussing their excitement for next year. 

“Yeah, and I am definitely auditioning to be drum major! At the very least, I am likely right to believe that I could get woodwind captain after Jade graduates.” Peridot's excitement for the future was hard to contain and it didn't matter because Jasper also shared that excitement. 

“I’m sure you will. And it’ll be my _senior_ year! Seniors trips and privileges!” Jasper scarfed down her food and moved to the kitchen to grab more, not ending her conversation. “And then after that is college. I can't wait to get out of high school and into college.” 

Some of Peridot's excitement seemed to die down. She didn't say a word until Jasper seated herself back down into the chair. “You cannot wait to leave me?” Her lower lip was extended in a pout. 

“Oh crap,” Jasper forgot that Peridot was younger than her. Sure, she did act like it but that was more of the nerd in her. She always was so smart and she had the same math class as Jasper so she tended to forget. “No no no.” Rushing to reassure, she smiled kindly. “That's going to be the worst part. I don't want to be separated from you but it's gotta happen. It'll only be a year.”

“Please enlighten me on what your first choice college will likely be?” Peridot tilted her head and then took a small bite of her food.

“Not sure, babe, likely AOU. Not too far from here.” 

Sighing, Peridot brought a napkin up to her lips. She took a refreshing drink before speaking. “I hope to gain acceptance into either Indiana University, Curtis Institute, or University of Michigan. Indiana is my number one choice but it does not do harm to have backup plans.” 

“Oh,” Jasper dropped her fork and considered it. “First of all, that won't be a problem, everyone knows you'd get into any of those no problem. Second of all, I'm shocked my lil’ geek isn't planning on Yale? Third of all, that might be a problem.” 

“You do not know for a fact that I will gain acceptance! There are many talented musicians worth of that honors. Also, Yale is a fourth option, but those students can likely suck a hot one.” She heard Jasper snort. “And… Did you expect me to stay here?” 

“I guess I was hoping you would be here with me. I can't even stand a week away from you.” 

“I have made plans to leave this state since I was a young child and there are no appealing schools of music around, and you know I am not going to be a housewife.” Heat came to her cheeks at the mention of marrying. “It will be okay, nothing will tear us apart, correct? In the past fifteen years on my life, you were the only female that has taken a romantic interest in me.”

Future plans were discussed into more detail after that. They figured out that they could Skype every night at least for five minutes before sleeping and they pinky promised to. The two of them were finished and Peridot moved to collect the dishes and begin soaking them. She was humming to herself while she cleaned and nearly broke the plate when Jasper sneaked up behind her. 

Her body was pressed against Peridot's and she had her hands on both sides of her curvy hits. Standing at an awkward angle so she could rest her head easily on her girlfriend's shoulder, she kissed her neck. 

Oh boy. Those neck kisses. Peridot could feel her knees get weak but she continued scrubbing at the dishes. She had to get them out of the way so they did not have much to worry about. “Babe,” Jasper whispered. “You know we have a dishwasher, right?”

The white hand of Jasper's moved to grab Peridot's chin and lightly move her head to look to their left at the appliance and even the dishwasher pods on top of it. 

“Yes,” She shook her head free from Jasper's grip. “But my mother has always discouraged us from using though. She believes in putting in the labor.” Jasper continued working on Peridot's neck. “Though… It would leave us time for ourselves on our celebration of our relationship.” Peridot grabbed for the paper towel rolls and wiped her at hands, turning around to face her girlfriend. She was about to lean in to touch her lips but Peridot slipped out from her grip. 

“But you have to load and start it.” The blush on Peridot's face was only partially because of the kisses, most of it was because she was embarrassed at having never used one. She smiled at Jasper maliciously and reached into her pocket, fishing out her own phone and kiss Jasper before heading off to the room, leaving Jasper confused but she started loading the dishes anyway. 

Walking to their couch, Peridot tried to stay hidden from Jasper's sight, so she moved to the couch of the far end of the room. The first thing she did was check Amethyst's chat head on Messenger. She read over them and smiled, excited to talk about how her day went. She was only able to send pictures to her and a short message.

The pictures that were sent had Peridot and Jasper when they went to get breakfast, their picnic, and the dinner that Jasper had set up all herself. Jasper had been using Peridot's phone the whole day, Snapchat and phone camera to document the whole thing. She typed out a message that explained where they were and before she could say anymore, Jasper appeared and she exited the chat, turning off the screen. 

“Who ya texting?” Jasper's bulky body plopped onto the bigger couple in front of the television and she patted the cushion next to her. Peridot listened and moved to her side, making sure her phone was securely in her pocket. 

“Jade. Nothing too important.” Peridot cuddled up next to her girlfriend and Jasper didn't wait a second to scoop her up and place her in her lap. Immediately, Peridot twisted her head to have her lips touch Jasper's. It felt intense and different from before and peridot was feeling a mix of emotions. She could feel her girlfriend's roaming hands grip her ass and give her a squeeze so she went to tangle her hand in the big, soft hair. 

The big brown hair…Or was it purple? She could imagine it was Amethyst's long lilac colored locks. She pulled at the hair slightly, making a grunt came from the plump lips pressed against her own. Plump lips that always had flavored lip balm on them? The ones that shined or was it the chapped plump lips? Cautiously, Peridot pulled away and had to look into her girlfriend's eyes to remind herself of who it was. 

“I love you.” Peridot was pulled in, her head resting on Jasper's shoulder and moaned out when it was again ambushed with kisses. She held onto her muscular girlfriend, smelling her scent of citrus, but now she couldn't stop thinking of Amethyst's hugs, the lavender and coconut and sometimes strong smoke smell that radiated off her. Weed and cigarette smoke always made her feel sick but for some reason it almost felt like it added character to her. 

Even the slightest touch made Peridot feel tingly. Peridot's hands move to the buttons of Jasper's cute collared short sleeved shirt, it was one that she had helped her pick out one time when they were shopping together. The energy in the room felt sensual and Jasper moved to help Peridot out of her top too. Jasper's chest was revealed after the shirt and sports bra were removed and Peridot could admire it. But in her mind she was wondering what Amethyst would look like with a little less clothing.

“Like the view?” Jasper's voice teased Peridot and she realized then that she was staring. It's not like they've never been like this before but her mind would not get off of Amethyst. “What do you want, babe?”

Shifting slightly in Peridot's lap, Peridot wrapped her arms around the back of Jasper's neck and she pulled her in for a kiss, but not the messy ones that they usually have when in this situation but it was soft and gentle and yet full of so much passion. “I believe kisses are the most unappreciated thing is relationships.” She spoke when she pulled away, the way Jasper's hair was starting to fall and cover her left eye. 

Through her hair, Jasper was gazing at her with a spark in her eyes and it was impossible but it looked like they were illuminating the room. She blushed and something told her this was probably beyond fucked up. But the way she imagined Amethyst, being with her and kissing her this intimately, it lit a spark in her. Even right now, what Jasper parted her big lips and let her raspy, deep voice speak. “You like kisses, P?” 

Throwing her head back when Jasper's strong hands roamed her body, massaged her shoulders and running over her stomach, grabbing at her. She loved being touched in such a loving away and when she opened her eyes, she would've placed money that Amethyst was there with her because she could've even remember her girlfriend's name at this point. 

“Please...Ame-” It was almost like she was tased by the way she pulled away and stared down at the big girl. Between her teeth was her bottom lip, chewing on it. Trying to think quick, Peridot moved her hands to her girlfriends chest and toned stomach. 

“What?” It didn't pass Jasper's attention. 

“Um…” Leaning closer, her brain worked on the quickest level because she knew if Jasper was given enough time to think about it, she would figure out and things wouldn't end well. “Am I glad you're here with me…” She murmured and moved to grab her hands, kissing the palms and the back of them. Internally, she congratulated herself when Jasper smiled lazily and bought it. “But perhaps it would be wise to calm down ourselves.” 

Trying to get out of this situation as fast as she could, Peridot forced herself away from her loved and stood up off the couch. Grabbing at her shirt, Jasper pulled it away when she tried to take it back. 

“What the hell, P? Why?” The athlete complained instantly, watching her girlfriend walk into their open bedroom. It was a few minutes of no response and she reluctantly got up to follow her, not bothering with her bra or shirt. She came in and saw Peridot hadn't put on another shirt, but was just bending down to look at the lowest level of movies and books supplied to them. 

Walking over to go and lay on the bed, on her way she smacked Peridot's bum, making the girl squeal and fall to the group, rather than bending over. “Come on, we haven't had much time to ourselves in a while.”

“Nope.” Peridot stared down, not wanting to argue more and knew Jasper would drop it, picking out a selection of three movies and a book for herself. “I have carefully chosen three movies that seem either hilariously awful,” she paused, picking up one movie with some no name actors on the cover. “Funny,” She continued for a second, showing the next movie to examining. “Or a movie that will seem fitting to our event today.” The last movie looked like it was probably a romantic movie and Peridot was blushing, looking away. 

Curling a section of her hair around her finger, Jasper considered her options. “Let's watch that one.” She smiled and watched Peridot set up the DVD player. Once finished, she walked over to the bed and plopped down, completely ignoring Jasper's completely exposed chest. They moved in closer to cuddle, Peridot barely watching because it felt like she had to relearn her girlfriend. Relearn how her eyes turned darker when aroused, relearn her smell of citrus. It's almost like she forgot despite being pressed against her. Like she had to relearn that Jasper was the one she loved and not Amethyst. 

A lot of their time bad actually been spent watching the moving, or for Peridot, staring at the screen but she didn't expect Jasper to be so focused. She thought they would make out the whole time. When she told jasper to stop, she had only really meant that they wouldn't get in each other's pants, Peridot wanted the kisses. But Jasper had strong libido and anything could get her in the mood, so she didn't mind it that much.

At first, Peridot didn't even realize there was a very uncensored sex scene going on until she heard the shaky breath from Jasper. That's when she looked up and blushed, unable to say anything but stare. Subconsciously, Jasper reached her hand down and pulled Peridot closer. 

This was actually more common than people think. Because Peridot and Jasper were taking things slow, she didn't mind Jasper relieving herself in front of her but for some reason it was painfully awkward currently. 

Stopping herself though, Jasper sat up and turned away from her girlfriend. “I'm going to take a bath, I saw these cool complimentary bath bombs.” She excuses herself and disappeared into the bathroom quick, leaving Peridot to just stare blankly at the TV. 

She stayed like that and knew Jasper took long showers and even longer baths. Things were beginning to feel weird. Luckily for her, her phone vibrated, presenting her with a distraction. Pulling it out, she unlocked it and smiled down at the chat from Lapis, but grew concerned when she blushed at Amethyst's chat head, sitting unopened. It took her a few minutes to finally it.

 _Aw, u look so cute Peri_  
_how are things? u having fun? Jasper treating ya right?_

Fishing out a picture where both of them looked good, she sent another picture that had Peridot kissing Jasper's cheek while she took the picture. She typed out a quick reply along with it. _Yes, I am having oodles of fun with my girlfriend. Her behavior today is splendid and her love for me is overcapacity. Currently she is bathing._

After a minute, she heard the noise that indicated her message was read. She heard the next noise that was signaling that Amethyst was typing, but instead, her phone began beeping it's annoyingly simple ringer of rhythms. Looking down, even though it should've been expected, she was a bit surprised to see Amethyst's profile picture and name. _Video call from Amethyst._

Feeling brave and wanting to talk to someone, she clicked the green button, accepting her call. She tentatively held the phone in front of her and tried not to look like she was trying too hard to look presentable on the camera. 

Popping up on the screen, lagging for a few seconds and somewhat blurry, she could see Amethyst had her phone a few inches away from her face and her hair was up into two big buns that reminded Peridot of Mickey mouse, except for her bangs, which were hanging down and easily covering her left eye per usual. She was smiling and squinting down at something that Peridot couldn't see, but it was giving of a gold shine. Impatiently waiting until Amethyst noticed that the call was accepted, Peridot sat on the bed, staring awkwardly at the screen. 

When Amethyst finally realized and looked up, Peridot's smile couldn't help widening. Whereas Amethyst was staring on the lower half of the screen. She stared for a few seconds before she began to cackle up, shaking the phone as she did. Quickly, widening her eyes, Peridot felt excluded from the joke. 

“Oh man, Peri! Guess I know what you were up to!” She moved her eyes to the lower half of the screen and Peridot tried to imagine what that would be for Amethyst by looking at herself in the little corner-- and then realized what she had been talking about. 

Since they were so nonchalant about it, Peridot had forgotten that she was sitting in her plain black bra, the angle not helping either and making her chest appear bigger than it actually was. Although maybe that wasn't such a bad idea, not like she had much from a normal perspective. Flushing a rosy pink, she shook her head. “N-No! We didn't do anything.” 

Another loud cackle came from the other end and she beamed at the screen. “Nah, I get it. What else have you been up to? I've been so bored without you texting me.” 

Smiling smugly, Peridot got up to move to the other room, for more privacy despite the fact that Jasper was likely relieving herself of what Peridot hadn't given her yet and would be too far gone to notice. Still, she knew that if Jasper heard her talking and giggling with someone else, she wouldn't be too happy. Sitting comfortably on the couch in the other room, she grabbed a decorative pillow and wrapped her arms around it, covering her chest. “We're staying here in this time share thing, I believe that she informed me that this belongs to her uncle.” 

“Oooh, fancy.” Amethyst nodded along, listening. 

“Then she woke me up to get breakfast at Denny's… It… I kind of thought of you there.” Peridot mumbled, hoping that the quality of the sound would make it hard for Amethyst to hear her confession.

“Aw, Peri.” That's all she said at first and Peridot was a little disappointed that there wasn't a bigger reaction, or maybe that was a good thing. “That triple date was interesting, dude. Lapis looked so hot that day. Well, always but.” 

Frowning, Peridot rolled her eyes. “Lazuli looked mediocrely attractive at the most. My girlfriend was stunning, though.” She paused and was grateful that Amethyst didn't rush to defend her lover or whatever. “You looked very nice that day.”

Feeling frustrated at the lag, Peridot watched as Amethyst listened and saw her smile widen. “Aw, you trying to hit on me, girl? You're celebrating your anniversary today.” It was one of her usual jokes but it made Peridot nervous.

“It is not my fault, as a person of high intellect, I tend to speak the truth.” Her heart was beating and she wished that Amethyst would suddenly hope through the screen and kiss her. 

“Gee, thanks, Peri.” Amethyst was sincerely thanking her. “Speaking of Lapis, though, her and I talked about stuff last night.” 

“Oh?” Bouncing her leg, Peridot tried not to look too interested and too curious, though she was a little upset that the topic switched off Amethyst. “Discussed what kind of stuff, may I ask? Stuff is being very vague.” 

Looking at her friend, she saw she was adjusting her position again and that's when she noticed that her saxophone was what was giving off the gold shine. It was sitting loosely on her lap in a way that made Peridot cringe but she didn't comment on it. She noticed Amethyst took off her mouthpiece and separated the ligature and then the reed. She held it between her fingers as she began to speak. “It's pretty long.” 

“My girlfriend takes a little over an hour long baths. I do have a sufficient amount of time, and I'm on my own.” 

On the other line, she heard a scoff. “Psh, okay, nerd.” Peridot rolled her eyes and prepared herself to listen. “At first I was texting her and we got in an argument. So she called me and we ended up not even talking about what we fought over or anything, we just laughed with each other. Things felt fun and carefree but like…” She saw Amethyst's hand move to run through her long hair, but alas, it was up and she had to settle on twisting sections of her bangs, exposing her left eye a little more. 

“Like, her and I really needed to talk and we did. I told her that I didn't feel like things were clicking between us. It was hard to explain to her too.” Amethyst went on explaining the conversation she had last night.

“Was she upset? The two of you are no longer romantically involved?” She had to clarify. 

“Yeah, we're not a thing, still good friends though.” One hand holding her reed, the other still playing with her hair, she looked semi-uncomfortable. “She seemed upset, but she didn't say much else, we kind of just talked about feelings and if we had any for anyone else, as if that was the reason why things didn't work.” After she finished her thought, she put her reed between her lips to rewet it. 

Peridot stared at the screen blankly, at Amethyst's soft, shiny lips and the reed between them. She wished it was her lower lip between those plush, pink lips. Processing what she said also explained the blank look, and considering her words. “Do you? Have any romantic, or anything really, feelings for someone?” 

Now it was Amethyst turn to stare blankly. Her blue eyes, that looked much grayer on camera, or maybe it was the lighting of where she was, stared, moving up and down the screen. The blonde adjusted the phone, trying to find an angle that would make her look better. Of course, she tried to be lowkey about it. She moved to lay across the couch on her belly, the pillow no longer covering her.  
Both of them stayed quiet, just the sound of rustling and very faint static. Reaching for her reed, Amethyst pulled it out to talk. “Not particularly. No.” 

Thankful that Amethyst wasn't actually here with her, Peridot swallowed and tried to conceal her disappointment. Quietly in her mind, she wondered why should she even be disappointed. Her she was, alone with her girlfriend of one year. Why should she disappointed that the duet partner didn't feel the same? 

Not knowing what to say, she muttered something about how she should ‘find someone’ and whatever, wishing that someone would be her. She wasn't entirely sure if Amethyst was listening but she didn't care that much anymore either. Words were just spewing out of her mouth because she didn't like the silence. 

By now, Amethyst was putting her reed back onto her mouthpiece using the ligature. Testing it out, she move the camera somewhere, probably on the inside of her case or something and she brought her saxophone up, now holding it correctly and took the tip in her mouth, blowing. 

It squeaked as both girls expected. She kept trying, just playing random notes and half scales on it. The blonde watched her with a faint smile on her face, now wanting to go and practice on her own clarinet. Considering she practiced pretty much everyday, she felt weird about not having taken it out today. But, she was going to get semi practice when she gave Jasper her gift. 

Contentedly, she observed. The sound of the saxophone had always pleased her so much, even so much that she had considered switching back in fifth grade, when they were actually allowed to expand from their primary instruments. They only had alto and tenor saxes to chose from but she decided to stick for clarinet and thinking now, she wouldn't want to switch. 

“What pieces were you practicing before you called me?” Peridot questioned. 

“Just random crap,” Amethyst pulled away from her instrument. On the side of her was her flip folder and she picked it up to show to Peridot. “I tried playing stand tunes but those got boring fast. So I went on Google and YouTube to find some music.” She easily held her shoulders up in a shrug. “I also played songs as they came on the radio.” 

“That is interesting, but if you are interested in playing currently, why not work on fundamentals?” Her reedy voice scolded.

“Come on, Peri. I was bored, I'm not really _practicing_ practicing.” Amethyst rolled her eyes and brought it back to her mouth. “I'm surprise I semi-dated Lapis and never played this for her. I feel like every saxophonist thinks this while cure their single status.”

Before Peridot could question, she heard the intro of a _very_ familiar song. A _too_ familiar song. One that she had heard through all her years of being in band, one her father had put on for her mother when the two of them would spontaneously dance after some date night because it's the first song they listened to once they got to the United States. The song she heard on the radio her friends played, despite it's old age. 

There was actually a time later year when she had been at a rehearsal with their ‘rival’ high school for a joint concert. After they had finished and many were gathering their stuff up, she had heard in completely and perfect unison, almost all of the saxophonists from both bands playing this song. She couldn't get it out of her head for days and had to play it on her clarinet to stop thinking of it. Amethyst went through its beginning and Peridot could feel her eye twitching as the introduction went on. 

Parting her thin lips to protest, she realized the saxophone part was finished for now and Amethyst pulled her lips off of the woodwind instrument to begin sing. From hearing this played from almost every saxophonist, she nearly forgot that there were even words. “Time can never mend the careless whispers of a good friend, to the heart and mind, ignorance is kind. There's no comfort in the truth, pain is all you'll find..” 

Every time she heard Amethyst's voice, she was memorized. But this, hearing this song coming from Amethyst and her ability to make a song she loathed so much now into something beautiful made her burst out in laughter. The phone even slipped from her hand as she cackled in her high pitched voice.  
Though her own raspy voice was beginning to shake from holding in her laughter, she continued on, now trying different ways to make her voice sound amusing. She purposely cracked notes and hit wrong pitches just to make the clarinetist laugh. “Should've known better, I feel so unsure as I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor. As the music dies, something in your eyes calls to mind the silver screen, and all its sad good-byes.” 

Holding her stomach tightly and still in a fit of giggles, Peridot picked up her phone to look at her friend. “I am so sorry, Amethyst. You sounded great before the lines you just sang but… I just cannot deal with that song anymore. It is dead to me.” She forced the smile off her face to give her a deadpanned look. Unfortunately, she wasn't able to hold it for very long. 

Casually, Amethyst picked her saxophone back up and thought further into the song, playing the sax part again but this time purposely missing keys and biting down on the mouthpiece. The result made then both laugh again. “That's how I sounded learning this in fifth grade! I get you, Peri. I'm not too big of the song anymore either. Darn saxes.” 

Both of them gave one another an apologetic look and Peridot spoke now. “You do have a lovely voice. I am unsure of why I always forget about that.” She pointed her finger to the screen. “You,” She faked a stern voice. “You need to stop being so talented at everything. This is an order from your future drum major.” She was clearly joking and had to smile after saying that to make it obvious. 

“Yeah sure, ma'am.” Though she rolled her stunning blue eyes, she was blushing darkly. “Seriously though, you're probably one of the most talented people in our school. Don't be so modest, home girl.” 

Now it was Peridot's turn to blush from the compliment. “Thank you.” She ducked her hair down, in an _oh shucks_ type of way. They talked for a bit longer before Amethyst announced she had to leave. Reluctant, they hung up and Peridot went back to the room. It had only been 30 minutes since Jasper had gone. Darn, she still had time to kill.

Impatiently, she laid there when she heard a phone go off that wasn't here's. Searching around briefly, she realized it was Jasper's but the phone had stopped ringing and instead a text popped up on her girlfriends iPhone. Trying to resist and be respectful, she soon caved and turned the screen on, seeing the text easily by clicking on it. Why did Jasper have that option on, she didn't know, anyone could've easily came by her phone and texted off randomly to someone. 

The text was from a contact that made her growl in annoyance. It read “Jes” with a smiling blushing emoji. Even that made her angry, even though she believe her girlfriend to be faithful. The message was so typical of her. _Hey hottie, what's good?_ Followed by more emojis. She made a point to gag.

And deep down Peridot knew this was a bad move on her part but she was thankful you could reply to texts without unlocking it. She reasons that if Jasper didn't want her to, she would've turned it off. Her mind was screaming at her but she picked up and typed out a reply to the girl she disliked greatly. 

**Everything's good since she is with her intellectual girlfriend and not you.**

Putting down the phone, she was going to walk away from it buzzed again. 

_Ew, what r u doing. Where's Jasper?_

**She's bathing. Not that it is any of your concern.** She hopped her messages appeared hostile but not too hostile. Going overboard was not what she wanted to do. 

_So ur girlfriend of 1 year is taking a bath alone on ur anniversary? Wow Perisnot, u rly don't understand anything._

The last two messages didn't bother Peridot. She turned towards the bathroom door, staring and dropping the phone down after telling her that she understood many things and that Jes didn't. But that didn't stop the message from bothering her. 40 minute had passed, what if her girlfriend ends her bath early? 

Shipping her clothes off of her body, she didn't even realize what she was doing at first. Her hands were just moving on instinct and she was filled with rage for the irrelevant cheerleader. She realized she was now standing in the cool room, completely naked. 

Swallowing the lump in the back of her throat, she walked over towards the door. She rested against it and struggled to pop off her prosthetic. It came off easily, the socks were discarded to the side, then she opened the door slowly and once inside, it was closed and she leaned against it for support before approaching her girlfriend. 

Jasper looked confused. Blantly staring at Peridot's body, a blush was forming on her cheeks. She was submerged in water and bubbles and it made it hard for Peridot to see anything. The fact that she was being ogled at made her try to appear more attractive and she stared across at her girlfriend. She didn't know what to say. 

“I, um…” Peridot's soft voice broke the uncomfortable silence and made Jasper tear away from her exposed body. “I got lonely.” 

At this, a feral smile striked her whole face and she stood up, letting the water drip from her body to help her amputee lover into the water. It wasn't too big for them but Peridot was laying on top of Jasper, only partially covered in water.

No thoughts of Amethyst were thought of while she was here. It's like there was a button in her brain for the two girls, that it was on for too long while they were in the couch but her focus shifted entirely to Jasper. 

That lasted until Jasper mumbled into her ear while her hands were roaming in her. It really shouldn't have, but it reminded her of all the secrets Amethyst and her had shared. The air against her ear made her shiver and now she was picturing Amethyst. Without causing a scene, she tried her hardest to get the image out of her head, letting herself know that that would never happen. 

Although it wasn't exactly a sexy thought to be having while her girlfriend was touching her naked, Peridot was silently wondering what she was to do. Waiting it out and seeing until the feelings for the purple haired musician faded seemed good. However, she felt like she would go insane if she wasn't able to just record an experiment to feel what Amethyst's felt like. 

There wasn't exactly any other choice though. Because she didn't want to break up with Jasper and to kiss another girl would mean she couldn't be with Jasper. The mere thought of being without her girlfriend made her feel emotional. Then again, maybe being with Amethyst would fill the void. The two of them had more things to talk about and had more similar interests. 

But she couldn't think now because more sounds were coming out of her mouth impulsively. The strong hands were moving on her lower body and she was being filled with pleasure over thought. It was hard to focus now on anything but the sensations she was feeling and the beautiful brute smirking at her. 

Yeah, this could be definitely be analyzed later. A time when she could think of her confusing love for two different girls without being distracted. Love for both of them? Or was it just a great liking for Amethyst? Or did she actually love her and that love was falling out or Jasper? She felt herself freakout but was distracted again by a groan. Finally, she turned her brain off and turned into a puddle of moans. Now wasn't a time to think about why her feelings for Amethyst were starting to feel like love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :0 
> 
> I might write some completely UNRELATED Amedot smut one shots, not entirely sure if I should, if you'd read any lemme know lol :p
> 
> Also, the tag for this is 'dmoyh' on Tumblr. You can share commentary, thoughts, fanart, whatever you want and tag it as that... And again, my Tumblr is justadapperbowtie and you can ask me questions about this fic, discuss or whatever or just send Amedot prompts. 
> 
> Until next time, my loves. Sorry for the late update. :( 
> 
> Comments and kudos are loved. ;P


	13. Kiss Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last bit of Peridot and Jasper's anniversary, then later on Amethyst visits Peridot to copy down some notes and begin their chem project.
> 
> sexual references/very mild sexual content?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to post this on Thursday, but then I couldn't so it's Saturday. Told y'all I'd post either Thurs, Fri, or Sat lol. 
> 
> Half friendly reminder that Peridot is being emotionally manipulated and does not see things as clearly with Jasper as everyone else sees it. 
> 
> Also there's probs a bunch of typos! I'm sorry!!!

It was probably a good indicator that things weren't going to go well when Peridot found herself Googling if it's normal for your friend to appreciate you more than your girlfriend. 

After Jasper and her got out of the tub on Saturday, they dried off and they were going to present one another with gifts they brought for one another. Peridot was sitting cross legged near the edge of the bed, with Jasper sitting in front of her. 

The white box that Jasper pulled out wasn't a surprise to Peridot that much. She was never too big on jewelry just because with some things, she tended to lose it or it just got worn down and didn't look as nice. Not that she was disappointed when she saw that it was some sort of accessory, she just expected something like that. 

Strong hands handed her the box and she took it gratefully. She made sure to thank Jasper before opening it and when she did, her smile grew. Despite her hardly wearing jewelry, she could definitely tell when something was beautiful. It was a necklace, she pulled it out to inspect it more. The chain was pretty short but not choker level short and there was a rough cut orange-red gemstone on it. Her fingers moved to touch the stone and that's when she noticed there was an engraving on it. She held it and turned it around to read what it said.

Engraved on it was their anniversary date and their initials carved into it, like when people carve their names into trees in cartoons and movies. The style of it was cute and her green eyes darted to her bulky girlfriend, who was blushing lightly and had a genuine smile on her face. 

“Here…” Jasper's deep voice murmured and she took the necklace from Peridot's hands while Peridot turned around and held her growing hair out of the way. Quietly, Jasper put it on her and Peridot kissed her intensely once turned around. 

When they pulled away, Jasper spoke again. “Do you like it? The gemstone is actually jasper.” She blushed and raised one eyebrow. “Because you can look at this pretty little gem and think of me.” 

Peridot looked back down at it and then at Jasper and she raised an eyebrow. “That is very sweet.” 

“Because you're mine, you know?” Jasper was starting to ramble and she looked embarrassed. “You're my girlfriend and only mine. You can wear it as much as possible. So you can think of me and of us and how much i love you.” 

Her voice was beginning to sound different and Peridot tried not to let her smile falter. This necklace was basically another way for Jasper to claim her as property and it didn't quite feel good to her. She bit her lip and instinctively moved to touch at her new accessory.

“Thank you.” Peridot thanked her sincerely and before Jasper could move in to kiss her or whatever, she reached for her clarinet case to her left further on the bed and grabbed at it, as well as her music. 

The necklace wasn't what made her go wondering and searching. It was when Peridot was giving her gift to Jasper when she started realizing that Amethyst would've reacted a little better to it than Jasper did. 

“Okay!” Peridot exclaimed, a nerdy smile tugging at her lips as she held her clarinet in one hand and music in the other. She had already set up her portable music stand, but she hardly needed it at all, considering a great deal of it was memorized. After she was warmed up, she was ready.

“What are you going to play for me, babe?” Jasper smiled affectionately at her small girlfriend in front of her, ready for her performance. 

“I have been thinking, maybe since you, um,” Peridot nervously took her clarinet into both hands, fiddling some buttons randomly. “Couldn't make it to the chamber recital,” This was still a soft spot for Peridot. “I can perform the piece that I composed and played!” Her excitement was adorable and Jasper felt her heart bursting with love. 

“Alright, babe, woo me.” She sent a quick wink to Peridot. 

Nerves were starting to build up in her, even though this was just her girlfriend, but for some reason, it was more nerve wrecking than in front of an audience. She decided to do an introduction. “I composed and arranged this piece based off my freshman year. It may be a little rusty, but it's my first real composition.” Her cheeks lit up a rosy pink color. “I wrote the end especially with you in mind. I sincerely hope you enjoy it.” 

After than and a nod from Jasper, she brought her clarinet to her lips and began to play her heart out. During short rests and long intakes of breath, she noticed that he hands were shaking. She could barely hear herself over the sound of her beating heart. Why was she this nervous? In all honesty, it's not as if Jasper would even notice that big a change in quality or if she messed up and concealed it well, she wouldn't be able to tell. 

She played all the way through the whole thing, paying way more attention to the dynamic markings and tempo changes because she wanted to impress her girlfriend. Once she ended, she played the last note as it decresendoed all the way down to a niente. She was breathing harshly through her nose, catching her breath quietly while she absorbed Jasper's applause. 

“You're amazing, babe.” Jasper beamed her pearl white teeth at Peridot, clapping her hands together. This made her girlfriend smile in response. 

“Thank you.” Peridot responded automatically, then added on. “Did you properly comprehend it? You see, the sad, boring intro was supposed to be me at the beginning of freshman year, then the chaotic middle was when I was in the hospital and became an amputee…” Her posture slacked a little more. “Then the other last phrase was composed with the thoughts of the two of us, in love.” The thin lips curved in a nervous smile.

“I got it.” Jasper nodded and her eyes looked up and down Peridot's body, then back up to Peridot's expression. Her green eyes were staring down at the music in front of her, probably while she observed how well she did. 

Jasper stood up from the bed and walked over to Peridot, scooping her in her arms. The blonde in her arms groaned, pulling her arms out from under Jasper to wrap them around her, keeping her clarinet safe from being squished by the muscular woman. Still, she enjoys being held by her girlfriend, until her hands move down to grope her. 

“Got something else for me, babe?” Jasper asked in her husky voice. 

This made Peridot pull away in confusion. “What?” She questioned with her eyebrows furrowed, confused. Her legs moved backwards on instinct and she was back at where her music stand was. “Something else?” 

“Yeah?” Jasper's eyebrows were raised in confusion. 

“But…” Peridot didn't understand it, clearly, despite the hands that were hinting at from the hug. She watches as Jasper moved back onto the bed, laying back, holding herself up on her palms to look at Peridot. “As you are aware, my parents will not allow me to work while I live with them. I did not have enough money and it is quite difficult for me to shop for you.” The confession didn't have an impact on Jasper while she rolled her eyes. 

“P, you don't need money to make me happy.” This reminded Peridot of the conversations the two would have about Jasper complaining about her work but wanting to take care of her and buy her things. And, come to think of it, what she said when Jasper asked her what she wanted for their anniversary. 

“I am not sure if I fully understand what you're implying.” Peridot deadpanned. 

Now Jasper was getting frustrated. “Babe, you don't need money to make me happy, you can _do_ something for me.” She supposed it was beating around the bush still, and being blunt likely would've been better because Peridot was still obviously confused. 

“Did I not just do something for you?” Her vibrant green eyes just blinked at Jasper. “Did…you not enjoy it?” Suddenly, she felt extremely self conscious. One of her hands was holding her clarinet tightly and the other moved up to pull at loose strands of her hair. “Maybe this gesture will be more exciting to you once you understand more.” She forced herself to look positive. “Throughout the process of writing this, I have spent roughly 362 hours, estimated, with just composing. The past month of my concert band class time _and_ study hall have been used practicing after I finished composing it, including making edits. What’s wrong with it? I basically dedicated it to you.” 

It seemed as if Jasper was getting bored. “Aw, so I'm not getting something _extra_?” One of her eyebrows raised and she looked up and down Peridot's body again, hoping she'd understand what she meant. 

And this time, she did. Peridot's eyes widened in realization and she could feel her stomach turning. She looked around the room and crossed her arms. How was she supposed to go about this? “I could try on the…frilly clothing that you purchased for me earlier?” It came out more as a question but it surely pleased Jasper. 

“Maybe later.” Jasper's voice purred. “Come over here.” She raised one hand to motion for her girlfriend to come over and she did, though she stood at the foot of the bed, anxious.

So Jasper took the initiative and moved to the edge to pull Peridot towards her, grabbing her clarinet and placing it on the nightstand. 

“Wait! I should put that aw-” Her shrill words were cut off by a groan when Jasper palmed against her through her jeans. She immediately forgetting all her complaints and enjoyed her girlfriend who was now on top of her.

.

The two of them were drifting off to sleep, cuddled together and ready to leave tomorrow afternoon. Peridot held her hand on Jasper's arm wrapped around her and the other was running at the necklace. 

She looked down at it again, squirming a bit in Jasper's arms, making her groan tiredly when she stared down at the date and had a revelation.

“Oh my stars.” It was said quietly at first before she repeated it again, louder, alerting the tired Jasper. 

“What?”

Twisting in Jasper's arms to face her, she showed her the date. “We're such clods!” She exclaimed and this didn't explain that much more to Jasper. 

Again, she repeated. “What?” She moved to rub her tired eyes and stared down. 

“This is the day we met!” Peridot's naturally soprano voice screeched out. “A year ago today is when we met! Not when we started dating!” 

“Oh.”

Both of them were shaking their heads in disbelief at themselves. Peridot was cackling hysterically while Jasper just let out a single, deep laugh. 

“Whatever. I fell in love with you the day I met you.” Jasper calmed Peridot down about how it wasn't that big a deal and eventually, they did fall asleep together, shaking their heads at themselves. 

.

The week after had been going good between them, a new sudden spark in their love and it was like when they first started dating all over again. Well, that is until one night when Peridot was laying on Jasper's bed, tired and exhausted and Jasper had gone to go cook something for the two of them in the kitchen. 

Peridot never considered herself to be snoopy and she always allowed Jasper space and trust to be loyal. But when her phone was sitting right next to her and wouldn't stop buzzing, she couldn't help but become a little curious and nervous. 

She pressed the home button to turn the screen on and grimaced when she saw Jes’ name sprawled across it. They were pointless things, but Peridot imagined them in her annoying, fake voice and she couldn't stop herself from texting her back from the unlocked screen. 

**Oh my stars, fuck off, she is with her girlfriend.** It sounded more hostile than she had planned it to be, but she had already pressed send. And she didn't care much anyway. 

It satisfied her when the buzzing of Jasper's phone stopped, until she heard her own phone vibrate against her thigh in her pocket a few minutes later. It wasn't the usual text message buzz though, it was the Facebook Messenger message coming through. She confusedly unlocked her phone and expected to find Amethyst, or Jade, when instead in the little chat bubble, was the face of a particular annoying cheerleader that she could not stand for her life. There was a number that indicated eight messages sent. 

Before clicking on it, Peridot swiped down to bring up her notification menu to try and glance at the messages before opening them, to prepare. The first message was uneventful and for the next ones, it just said _Jes Jones sent a picture._

Hesitantly, Peridot clicked on the chat head and first has to accept her invitation to talk, as the two were not friends on Facebook. After that window went away, she scrolled all the way to the top and began reading. 

_Sorz Perisnot for dis, ik u will be heartbroken, poor snot, u don't deserve this lol_

After staring at the message, she clicked on the picture so it could load and when it did, Peridot wished it hadn't. What she saw were collections of screenshots of Jes, and someone else it seemed, flirting with Jasper and basically _asking_ her if she wanted to hook up and one conversation of Jes and Jasper where she claimed that Peridot clearly wasn't doing her ‘job’ as Jasper's girlfriend and in turn was making her frustrated, which Jasper didn't deny, nor did she defend her. 

As for the flirting, that wasn't rejected either and when bashing Peridot was used as a tactic to make her crack, she stayed quiet. All the messages got were flirty more replies, denials of their requests, but still flirty and just thinking about the fact that Jasper was still texting them made her begin to shake. 

She laid there, in the bed, shaking and her eyes blown wide. For a few minutes, she reread the messages and Jes sent her another hateful message that pretty much got ignored over the new found flirting. 

And Peridot had never been in a relationship before, therefore she had no idea what to do about this. Was she overreacting? She had no clue, all she knew was that she had to get out of this room, this house, as fast as she could. 

In a last bit of sudden anger, she grabbed Jasper's phone and considered shattering it somehow, but she didn't. She just tossed it harshly back onto the bed in anger and shoved her own phone into her pocket with a shaky hand. She got to her feet and hastily opened the door, running out to the kitchen, hoping to be out before Jasper could question her, but alas, that was just a wish. 

“Oh hey!” Jasper smiled and she was putting the used pan into the sink and Peridot ached looking at the effort she put into cooking for them at the two set up plates of food. “Where are you going?” She questioned, now growing concerned as she noticed Peridot heading towards the door. 

In all her fantasies, she wished vigilance was praised because she would've loved to go around and flirt with others freely just to spite her, but she wasn't really like that, not at all. So her second plan was to slap Jasper and run, third to just bolt, but she did none of those. Instead, she turned around and she threw her finger to fiddle on the necklace Jasper had given her and that she had taken off only for showering, sleeping, and marching band practice. Without her noticing, she slipped it off her neck and held it in one of her hands while she walked over to her bulky girlfriend. 

Jasper walked closer to Peridot and smiled when Peridot intertwined their hands, which quickly died because she realized the blonde had given her something. 

Peridot quickly pulled away, giving herself a safe amount of distance so that she would be safe if something were to happen and she questioned why she was scared, but forced herself to speak before Jasper could. “I deserve better.” She turned on her heel, ready to leave before Jasper screamed out to her. 

“What?! I thought you loved this! It took me two paychecks to pay for this!” 

“No!” Peridot yelled back quickly and turned to look at Jasper's eyes. “I deserve better than _you_. Besides, I thought I should give it back. Because we are no longer girlfriends.” She opened the door and Jasper began spewing a whole clump of apologies and questions in a sad but angry tone. 

“Please leave me alone.” Peridot basically begged to her (ex?)girlfriend. “I need time to consider my options and the route that I'm taking. Give me time.” With that, as soon as she finished speaking, she left promptly to head out of house and left Jasper in confusion. 

Though she was upset and angry, she couldn't help but feel a small sense of relief. Tears threatened to slip out as she figured out how to walk home, and she shook them away. Jasper was clearly happy about hurting Peridot so she should've have any remorse about leaving her.

.

It had been two days since Peridot had stormed out of Jasper’s house and the two of them argued non stop yesterday. This day wasn't exactly going well for her either. In fact, it was probably one of the worst days ever in a while. On top of that, she also had planned in advance to have Amethyst over so she could collect the lab data that she missed and they also needed to discuss work on the project.

“Amethyst!” Peridot squeaked, appearing out of breath, as if she had ran to the door to let her in. “Come in! Did you bring your work?” She then spotted the black backpack covered with pins of cartoons and quotes on the partner's back, “Oh excellent! Let's head over to my bedroom! We should get to work right away so we do not exceed the necessary time together!” She breathed and began running up the stairs, then turned around to motion for Amethyst to come up. 

Without even saying a word in reply, Amethyst gave her a puzzled look but followed the ranky girl. Peridot went up the stairs surprisingly fast, but then she missed a step and lost her balance, causing her to fall back down the stairs. Trying to catch her balance, she reached for the handrail but it was too late, she was already falling back.

Amethyst was quick to react. She walked up higher on the stairs, holding her arms out and move to go catch her, only a few steps higher than the floor. The last thing she saw was Peridot’s alarmed face and her screech. Amethyst was able to catch her but the weight, though light, pushed her back and cause her to fall back as well, and she tightened her grip on the thin girl, holding her protectively while they rolled down. 

With a loud thud, Amethyst and Peridot landed on the floor. With her back on the floor, the fall hurt the chubbier girl more. Neither of the two girls were seriously hurt or injured, just had a few scratches and pains.

So there they both laid there, at the foot of staircase. They were groaning and stayed like that for a couple of minutes. It was quiet and Amethyst still had her arms wrapped around Peridot protectively. The small girl on top pulled away slightly, her hands down on the soft stomach and she was leaning back on her calves, as if she was sitting on her lap. 

Being so close to Amethyst made her skin feel warm, very warm and her heart beat at presto tempo. The view was breathtakingly beautiful in Peridot's eyes. Both of their eyes were widened and Peridot swore that within seconds, the blue eyes turned into a grayer color. Suddenly, she could feel once again the feelings she's been ignoring the past week, the ones that hit hard while she had been with Jasper. It felt like her lips were tingling, begging to be touched by Amethyst's.

As for Amethyst, she felt similar reactions happening to her. She could see Peridot blushing darkly and it was adorable. It'd be so easy, right her while they were staring at one another with such intensity. Her hands were testing on her lower back and she moved them to touch over Peridot's bony ones. The reaction from the girl on top was stunning, her eyes widened imperceptibly and her face become darker but a smile was threatening to appear at the corners of her mouth. It would be wrong to do anything, she's taken and-- 

Probably out of instinct, Peridot was leaning in, closer and close and Amethyst wanted to pull her down and kiss her hurriedly, but she couldn't. Her mind was telling her that they couldn't kiss, even if Peridot seemed to want to too. She also was too shocked to even move, just stared into the glazed over green eyes.

They were trying to calm themselves down, Peridot still moving at the slowest pace, closer and closer, when Peridot's father came around the corner, going to ask her a question, “Hey sweetie, where did that noise come from?” He interjected from around the corner, his footsteps coming closer, and when he turned he caught the sight of the two girls laying on top of each other, locked into one another's gaze and their faces only inches apart.

“Whoa, slow down, P-Dot, I mean I know you and Jasper broke up but isn't this a little fast? Shouldn't you give her more time?” Her father half heartedly joked and laughed to himself. 

Quickly, Peridot jumped off of Amethyst and glared at her guardian, “Dad! She's just my duet partner, we're just friends! She broke my fall!” She crossed her arms and glared at him.   
“Oh my, are you okay, Peridot's ‘duet partner’?” The short Indian man made finger quotes on the last two words but was sincerely concerned on making sure no one was seriously injured until his roof. 

“Um,” Amethyst sat up, holding her head and didn't want to cause too big of a deal, despite that her head was now throbbing with pain. She glanced back at Peridot, not sure if she should be honest or lie. Eventually she spoke the truth but made it seem like it wasn't a big deal, which it really wasn't, but it did hurt a lot. “I'm aight, dude, nothing to worry about, just a small headache.” 

Peridot cringed at the casualness she showed towards her father but he didn't seem to mind. He smiled kindly and nodded at her. “Alright, you two have fun doing whatever you're doing, that project or something.” His gaze moved to Peridot. “Don't do things you're not supposed to, at least under my roof, P-Dot.” She squeaked in embarrassment.

He chuckled again and quickly went to go back to the living room, murmuring something about ‘just joking’ before she could scream at him. 

There was an awkward tension that the two of them felt in the air. Peridot turned back to the purple haired girl and bit her lip before speaking, “I apologize for the behavior of my father. You can just ignore him. Thank you for your attempt to catch me and also for breaking my fall. Please follow me up the stairs and into my room so we can do what we intended to do: work on academics.” She growled and held out of hand to her, so she could help her up and she led her up the stairs slowly. They were both quiet going up, Peridot having her head turned to hide her blush that was present since they fell down together. 

Amethyst was led by Peridot to what she assumed was her bedroom and she chuckled to herself at the sign on her door. It read, “Peridot's Laboratory! Knock before entering! Jasper allowed always!” And was on a alien background. When she actually entered, it obviously wasn't a laboratory, but simply her bedroom. 

She took in the decor and the things that just screamed nerdy. In the far right corner of the room was a flat screen television with an Xbox and a PS4, along with two full towers of video games and another one that was a quarter full. There were a couple of game posters hung up as well. She had a queen sized bed with green silk bed sheets. On the right side of the bed there was a brown desk that had already her AP Chem notebook and the poster board for their project out. There were also a couple of pictures scattered in many places in her room, with a couple on her desk, wall and nightstand. There were also some chemistry artwork with puns on it hung up. She also spotted a couple of instrument cases, Amethyst recognizing them as a clarinet, bass clarinet, English horn, but also one that looked like a flute, and a guitar that was just lounging out. 

“Wow. If this doesn't scream Peri, I don't know what does.” Amethyst grinned at her, “It's a cute room. Not as cute as its owner but..”

Peridot walked over to the chair at her desk, trying to ignore her compliment, and opened up to her lab data collection chart that her partner missed when she was absent. “I'll just recite to you the data I have collected, okay? And you can write it down. Sit on the bed or something, I don't have another chair for you to rest on.” Then Amethyst brought out her notes and they got to work.

After they had gotten their labs to line up and wrote their own conclusions, Amethyst threw her notebook closed on Peridot's bed during their break. She laid over her bed and groaned. “Now we have to do the project. I hate projects.” She whined and rolled over, holding her head in her hands. 

This actually caught the attention of Peridot. She cautiously put down her phone and pulled her knees up to her chest, the chair barely had enough room but she was comfortable. Buzzes still came from the phone, one after another. She stared for a while and then walked over to her bed. 

“Does your head still hurt?” Peridot asked kindly, her brows furrowed in concern and she moved closer to where Amethyst was lying. Her hand reached out to gingerly rest on the other girl's forehead. “Perhaps it would do some good to get an ice pack, or maybe take some medication?” 

“Nah Peridetto,” Amethyst winced. “I don't wanna bother you. It'll feel better eventually.” 

Rolling her eyes, Peridot stood up and already made her way to her door. “You are not a bother to me, Amethyst. If you were, I would not hesitate to tell you. Stay here and relax.” The door closed behind her and Amethyst was left alone. 

With her thoughts. Again. This never resulted in her feeling good and she didn't want to feel terribly while with Peridot. Today would be hard to resist the temptation of pinning Peridot against the wall and kissing her nonstop, savoring the feel of her lips against her own. After a while of chaste kisses, she'd nibble on Peridot's lower lip. Her love for Peridot would overtake everything that would tell her that she shouldn't kiss her.

What was unusual was that it seemed as if Peridot was leaning in too. Slowly, but her eyes looked hazy and she licked her lips when moving her face is, closer and closer. Her bony hands had tightened on Amethyst's plump fingers, grabbing. Usually, she would've thought Peridot would be absolutely against the idea of kissing another girl while she was dating Jasper, because that would've been cheating and that wasn't right. Peridot's father's statement rested heavy in her head, did Peri and Jasper really break up? Is that why she looked so ready to smooch?

How convenient, Peridot just walked into the room again, holding an ice pack. It was wrapped in some paper towels and she kept switching it from hand to hand, moving back to the bed to sit next to the purple haired girl and held it against her head for her. 

“I'm sorry I brought you down with me.” Peridot wasted no time to apologize again, looking sympathetic. 

“As long as you didn't get hurt, it's all good Peri.”

“But you hurt your head. And it is my fault for being clumsy.” Peridot growled at herself and pressed the ice pack a bit harder against Amethyst's brown skin. She adjusted her own position, momentarily taking her hand off before it returned to where it was. Instinctively, she brushed away Amethyst's bangs, revealing more of her left eye. Blinking rapidly, she adjusted to it and blushed when Peridot stated into them. 

“Your eyes are astonishing. How is it that they appear so blue and so gray at different times?” 

“I dunno, man.” A roll of her shoulders but the compliment made Amethyst fill with happiness. “Just born with them. They used to be a different shade of blue when I was younger, I don't understand how they changed but…” She closed them, to think and Peridot clicked her tongue. “Yours are too, you know…Astonishing or whatever.” The way she said it was supposed to be nonchalant but the green eyed girl knew she was flustered. 

A flattered smile came over Peridot. Her stomach turned to mush from one statement. “Thank you.” Amethyst opened her eyes again and admired the green eyes. They stared down at one another and things were starting to feel fiery again. Rooting for her to lean in, but Peridot didn't. She removed her hand and walked over to her dealing, opening on of the drawers and tossing it to the girl on the bed. Her phone buzzed again. 

Amethyst took two of the pain relief pills and felt only a little disappointed when Peridot plopped down into her chair and took back her phone into her hands. She watched her for a small amount of time then rolled over on the bed, using her hand to keep the ice pack from falling.

Once turned over, she caught sight again on the tower of video games. “Hey dude, can I check out your games?” 

She glanced over to the small girl sitting at the desk chair who was rapidly typing away at her phone, eyebrows furrowed. “Um, Peri? Can I look at what you have?” She repeated, a little louder and clearer.

Peridot jerked her head up, clearly not having heard her the first time, “Sure, whatever.” She muttered and went back to typing rapidly on her phone. Amethyst felt odd about her behavior but decided to ignore it as she got up and walked over to where her stash was. She took in the many action video games she had along with the RPGs. Amethyst was personally more of an RPG girl herself, whenever she did play some games. 

Her blue eyes traveled to the photos on her wall and she walked up to each of them individually. She noticed two of them were of their marching band, from last year events she had missed, as it had been the previous year. She saw one of them was with all the band having a serious face and the one below it was of them doing something silly or smiling. Two of the clarinetists were carrying little light Peri and she appeared to be in mid laugh when the picture was shot. She thought her heart might explode at seeing a smile from her that was so genuine. 

She then walked over to the other ones and realized they were of her with Jasper. One of them showed them at what was apparently the county fair, Peridot hugging Jasper tightly while the beefier girl had one arm rested around her. They both had grins all over their faces. Then, she stumbled across one that showed Peridot wearing what was clearly Jasper's football jersey over her marching band uniform and Jasper was wearing Peridot's shako. In the back was Jade and another football player photobombing the otherwise silly and cute photo.

There was also something hung up that looked like something preserved. It looked like petals and stems of flowers enclosed in a picture frame along with a note that said “ _I never meant to hurt you. - Jasper_ ” So that lead her to believe that she had received those from her girlfriend while she was in the hospital, since directly beneath it was a picture of Peridot on a hospital bed, sleeping and attached to IV’s. She looked so peaceful. Next to her was the football player, leaning against her and kissing her cheek. 

Another was of what seemed to be the school dance, probably the homecoming that Peridot had mentioned briefly to her. It was a picture of the two of them in an unfamiliar background, but seemed to be a dancefloor of some sort. Jasper was wear a stunning orange mermaid dress with a halter neckline. Her hair didn't appear to be made up too much but she was wearing a small tiara that said ‘Homecoming Princess’ on it and Peridot was wearing a simple Audrey Hepburn-like green dress with thigh high boots, long enough to cover her prosthetic. Her bleach blonde hair was curled. The two were clearly off guard, too busy with each other, probably. The smaller girl had her arms around the buff girls neck and the larger one had her arms around her waist, getting close to Peri's bottom, which was hugged obviously in that dress. Amethyst gulped and went to look at the next one when she was caught off guard by a loud groan and what sounded like Peridot falling onto the bed.

She turned around and her assumption was correct. Peridot was laying on her back on her own bed, phone thrown to the side of her and her hands were covering her eyes. Amethyst quickly became confused and walked to sit on the edge of the bed, next to her, sitting cross legged at her side. She still didn't remove her hands from her eyes. Amethyst sighed, and reached out to place a hand on her shoulder, “Hey Peri? Are you okay? You've been acting funky since I got here. What's up?” 

Peridot removed her hands from her eyes and looked at the concerned girl, “Nothing's wrong. I'm fine. Thanks for being concerned though.” She offered a weak smile, hoping the bigger girl would drop the matter and leave it at that.

Amethyst didn't want to get away from the topic of Peridot's well being. “Like, you know you can talk to me, right? You shouldn't keep your emotions bottled in. That's not good, dude.” 

“I'm _fine_ , Amethyst. I do not want to _talk_ about _anything_ because I'm fine!” Peridot's naturally reedy voice was beginning to sound more hostile.

Flinching, Amethyst narrowed her eyes. She had a question lingering in her mind. “Hey, um, Peridot? You know when your dad said that thing about us earlier? Did you and Jasper really break up?” She asked somewhat awkwardly, not wanting to seem like she over stepped.

At the mention of Jasper's name, Peridot's green eyes quickly filled with tears and her face welled up. She threw her phone off the bed and onto the floor. Biting her lip, tears started to roll down her cheeks and even though she was trying hard not to, somehow her high pitched sob escaped her her throat and she hugged herself, feeling more vulnerable than ever, crying again like this in front of someone she associated mostly with school. 

Amethyst didn't have an ounce of judgement in her heart though. She didn't hesitate to scooped Peridot in a tight hug, the ice pack falling to the floor, forgotten. Rubbing circles in her back she whispered, “Shh, it's okay, it's gonna be okay. I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry. Shh.” She murmured, letting her cry into her shoulder. Peridot wrapped her arm around the other girl tightly, the other covering her mouth to stop the loud sobs from coming out. Amethyst carefully took of her glasses from her face and put them behind her. She began stroking her hand through her soft, bleached hair, doing her best to try and calm her. 

This went on for a while, Amethyst comforting her and resisting the urge to give her comforting kisses until Peridot finally calmed down her sobs, her chest still rising but she pulled away from Amethyst ever so slightly. Amethyst also released her but rested her hand on her knee, drawing small patterns on her. “I shouldn't have asked.” She whispered quietly, trying to make eye contact with Peridot but the girl was looking down at the bed, tears still silently falling. She didn't like being the one who caused her friend pain. In fact, she had always been the one to comfort her.

They stayed in the silence for a little while, until Peridot spoke up. “We did break up. I think that it might be for real this time. We have ended our relationship over petty things in the past, but we always found one another again! But this does not feel the same. It is different. And-” She choked, “I'm- I'm scared and worried. I do not want to lose her but I don't know if I can keep this whirlwind of emotions in this relationship up for much longer.” She whimpered.

“Oh.” Amethyst began, “Are you… Unhappy?” She asked genuinely and personally, she had always seen the part where Jasper made her feel terrible about herself but was intrigued to know what Peridot thought about it.

She felt the girl's smaller frame tense up in her arms. “That's the thing! I don't even know.” The clarinetist admitted, “She makes me feel special and wanted and happy but she gets treated as if she is on a much higher social level than me. And when things get bad between us, they get _really_ bad.” Subconsciously, she started picking at her nails. 

Amethysts mind immediately jumped to the worst case scenario. “She...” The words she didn't want to ask because it hurt to think of it but she had to know, “She doesn't like, get _physical_ with you, does she?” Her eyes immediately went to dart across her body to look for any bruises or scars but alas, none were found except for the two hickies on her neck and the scratches she got from the fall.

Peridot shot her head up, and Amethyst was a bit taken back by her eyes that were shining, as gorgeous as ever. “No! Of course not. I would have not been with her for this long if she did. She just… We just…” She could find the words to say how it was, “Some occasions it just feels like we cannot tolerate one another. When we have arguments, she has made it a habit to call me and question why I'm upset, even when she knows why.” She looked away, “Everything is always caused by me and I don't know how to stop messing things up. She makes me feel like a bad girlfriend sometimes.” 

“ _What?_ I'm sure you're an amazing girlfriend. She sure has been lucky to have you.”

The blonde shook her head, “Be serious. Please do not feed me with false data. She was my first girlfriend and I love her. Never in my fifteen years of being alive have I felt feelings this strong. It is just a lot for me to deal with. Not only that, but I am extremely underachieving in this type of situation. Of course, she has had many and many partners, both romantically and sexually. For an example, the first time her and I laid together in bed…” A blush appeared on her face and she sniffled, “When she first saw me without all my clothes. In a reassuring attempt, she informed me that she thought I was the most beautiful girl she had ever laid eyes on, and that my body was pleasing to her. Out of curiosity, I inquired to her about how many girls she _has_ seen naked, and the number… It was probably higher than friends I’ve had in my whole lifetime!” She groaned a little, “I cannot help but feel pathetic. I'm just so new to all of this, still. I don't know how to make her feel _good_ in everywhere. I want to her as flattered and happy as she makes me feel. Not only that, but,” Peridot bit her lip and blushed faintly. “I wanna make her feel good, sexually, too. I don't understand it, though.

Amethyst also blushed at the image of Peridot that came into her mind, but she couldn't let her mind trail to this. She had to focus on her friend's emotional state and she couldn't even dare to think of taking advantage of her, “Peri, that's how people learn. They gain experience. You make her pretty happy, trust me. And I'm positive she wouldn't mind you exploring and learning from her. Have you ever talked to her about this?”

“No, I've been meaning to attempt and communicate with her about it but she never seems interested in deep talks anymore, as if they make her uncomfortable. And I know that but.” She looked away. “Everyone always thinks she's perfect, that she's cool and amazing, which she is! But when they realize that her and I are in a relationship…. They just think I'm a loser, nerdy, virgin. Which I’m not exactly entirely a virgin anymore, but the other things…I don't know ” The tears fell much more again and her insecurities slipped out more. “It is not a good feeling when you get compared to your _girlfriend_. People constantly tell her to leave me and that she deserves _better_ than me. Some days I still worry that this was some kind of sick joke, that she asked me out as a prank and just went along with it. I don't even deserve her.” 

Amethyst desperately wished Peridot could understand that it was the opposite. Jasper was totally and completely undeserving of Peridot. Her lips parted to inform her and prove her wrong when Peridot continued.

“Again, it doesn’t help that I'm inexperienced in every aspect of being in a relationship. Some of the cheerleaders and volleyball girls said that I wasn’t doing my ‘job’ at pleasuring her either.” She did finger quotes and she found herself disgusted thinking back to the messages. Obviously, you weren't obligated to be sexual with your partner and Peridot knew that, but it was still eating at her because she knew that her girlfriend was sexually frustrated with her lack of returning the favor. “You know. That's exactly what they said. I know it's stupid and they're trying to get at me but I can't help but feel terribly guilty about it. I saw her text history, which, weirdly enough I still feel bad about! But Amethyst, she did not even come to my defense. Isn't your girlfriend supposed to defend you? Is it true, Amethyst? Am I honestly a nerd undeserving of her love? She does things…” Red was staining her cheeks more prominently. “To me and I feel uncomfortable reciprocating it. Receiving, excellent experience but am I not putting enough effort into what I do to and for her? Do you think it's bad?”

The lilac haired Hispanic grabbed Peridot's hand. “Peri. That's **bullshit.** Anyone would be lucky to have you.”

“Be serious, Amethyst.”

“I am being serious!” She exclaimed and moved to place both her hands on each side of her face and forced her to look her straight in the eye. “Listen to me. You're the most beautiful, cute, funny, sexy, lovable person I've met. And it doesn't matter if you're a little bit of a nerd. You're so adorable when you get excited about what we're learning in Chem or when someone mentions Zelda and you spark up. You're so cute when you wear your little marching band uniform, when only some of your beautiful green eyes are showing when it’s fully down and after a performance I see them clearer. On top of your appearance and personality, you're also so _talented_. Come on, you completely play your clarinet like a professional! You're extremely smart, I can't even understand how your brain functions because I'm not a very high intellectual. And again, your eyes are breathtaking,” she paused to examine her eyes before continuing, “You're everything that I would personally look for in a girlfriend. If you were single, I'd go for you way before Lapis or anybody else. Anyone would be lucky to have you.” 

They stared into each other's eyes for a long while. Peridot moved to wrap one arm around Amethyst's neck and the other went on her thigh. 

Peridot whispered, “I wouldn't mind if you wanted to kiss me right now.”

The confession felt heavy in the air. Here Amethyst was on Peridot's bed with her hands on her. The statement granted her permission to do what she's been wanting to do for what felt like years and has restrained from. Her fantasies of kissing Peridot until she physically couldn't were being placed in her hands and for some reason, she didn't feel as stoked about it.

Peridot closed her eyes and waited for Amethyst to plant her lips on hers, to feel what she’d been thinking about for days, but Amethyst didn't. Instead, she raised herself up on her knees to place a kiss on her forehead. She snapped her eyes open in disappointment and stated at her. Her eyes looked hazy and she pulled her hand on the other's thigh away and to her own. 

Before Peridot could protest or say a word, Amethyst began to speak, “I'm not going to take advantage of you in this state. I don't care if you think you want me to, you're too vulnerable right now. And that isn't right.” She placed another kiss to her forehead before letting her go and she backed away. “If when you feel better you still want me to, then I will. But not when I think you aren't able to handle yourself, okay Peri?”

Peridot signed dejectedly but then nodded and smiled at her. “I actually really love when you call me Peri. Jasper usually calls me babe or just P. But I almost feel as if Peri is better that that.” She smiled larger, “I think you're great too by the way.” She gave her a small, awkward thumbs up.

They were holding and playing with each others hands while they talked about various topics. Mostly Peridot asking Amethyst about what she's done, how her life's been, about her previous relationships.

“I've had a couple of girlfriends and they all were pretty cool. Don't talk to most of them now. Lapis was pretty cool but that didn't work out. We're still chill, though.” 

“Really?” Peridot asked, almost as if she didn't believe it, the girlfriends part. “I have never been romantically involved with anyone other than… Jasper, but! I get curious, though.” Wonder filled in Peridot's eyes. “What it would feel like, kissing other girls. Now that I'm single, I should conduct an experiment on it!” Her nasally cackle made Amethyst grin more at the goofy dork. “In particular, I have not actually had a feeling to kiss one another's lips until recently. I have had feelings for other females in my lifetime, but never did I feel the need to kiss them.” Her eyes lit up. “I bet it would be as amazing as it felt to lock lips with Jasper. Maybe even better. This is not the first time I have wanted to feel yours lips against mine, Amethyst. Would it be more pleasant than kissing Jasper, Amethyst?” Clearly, she didn't do this whole seductive thing very often and she looked pretty unsure of herself and her boldness, but her smile didn't leave.

While Peridot in this mood, it was surely starting to work on Amethyst. She knew that she wouldn't be able to ignore her desire soon. “Heh, yeah, kissing is great. But I need a solid girlfriend to truly enjoy a kiss.” Peridot pouted and Amethyst ignored it. ‘I wish I was in a band couple, though. I think those are the cutest and strongest couples. Like Jade and Obsidian, clarinet captain and drum major. I think they're so cute.” She laughed. “Because like, band people understand each other, other band people.”

“I get that! I tended to daydream that I could be half of a band couple. It be likely to make practicing more fun, despite that practice already is fun! And they always seem to be so stable.” She blushed. “Almost the opposite of Jasper and I.” This filled Amethyst up with even more sympathy and felt bad that it was leading back to Jasper.

“You know, what you should have observed is,” Peridot continued in a somewhat seductive tone, “That _you're_ in band. You play the alto saxophone. _I'm_ in band. I play the clarinet. I've also been informed I have a high probability at becoming drum major next year. And well, I am aware that you just started getting comfortable being in a much smaller ensemble but you are one of the best saxes so my conclusion is that you have a good chance of being a section leader,” she batted her eyes at Amethyst and she felt slightly exposed without her glasses, showing off her eyes, but she continued on, “Or if our director decides to do the co-drum major thing! Then you could audition for that and we could be, uh, you know,” Her flirting skills were a bit more awkward than she anticipated but she moved in closer, “One of those famous band couples, do you understand what I am trying to get at here?” She leaned close to Amethyst so that she could feel her breath against her skin and it made her shiver. Her back was arched and she placed her hands on either side of Amethyst, getting impossibly close to her lips once again. 

“Amethyst,” She mumbled, causing a somewhat dramatic effect, “Please kiss me. Please hold me and touch me or anything! I no longer want to feel like this. Make me feel okay again.” 

Amethyst was then finding it extremely hard to resist the beautiful girl in front of her. So fraile. It wasn't even that she wanted to get dirty with her but more so that she wanted to _kiss_ her. And she desperately did want to make her feel better. She wanted to hold her friend and never ever let her go. She wanted to hold her and protect her from her unstable relationship ride that was with her girlfriend. She didn't like seeing her good friend being upset like this. 

“Please, if you would, Amethyst. We were assigned as one another's lab partner, would it be so incorrect to experiment?” Peridot continued and grabbed at her glasses, putting them back onto her face. “Do you like me with my glasses better? Come on, talk to me. Tell me how I can be more pleasing to you. Let me know how I can be better, how to make you happy, Amethyst. Don’t be shy.” 

“No. Peri, this isn't right. Not the right time.You're just lonely. You can't think for yourself in this state. I won't let you jump at me! You don't even know if you and Jasper are done for good!” Amethyst practically screamed with more intensity and aggressiveness in her voice then she intended. Great, she thought when Peridot looked disappointed. 

“You said you saw me as sexy...” She frowned at the long haired girl and the hurt seeped through her lowered voice. “I thought I was the great and lovable Peridot...”

“Yes! You are! But you are so much more than that, Peri! I ain't going to take advantage of you! Not like this!”

“Am I just not… enough for you?” She pulled away slightly as Amethyst was about to grab her hand to do damage control but it was proven difficult. Peridot was closing back into herself, going to turn back into her icy cold nerd self, like when she closed out people who tried to cheat off her tests, pulling her knees up and holding them closer to her face.   
“Peridot, you're not listening to me! I want to kiss you, I've wanted to kiss you ever since I gotten to know you! I want to hold you and never let you go. I know I always write poetry, but I can't find words strong enough to express to you the need, or to tell you how enough you are. You're always scared as being seen as nerdy but that’s exactly what you are! And homegirl, it's okay! It’s why I like you so much because you are so you.” Amethyst felt the emotion pouring out of her mouth. “But Peri, this is rebound. I don't want to be a rebound and I don't want you to regret possibly ruining our friendship.”

“What if I want to? What if I want to ruin our friendship? If my calculations are correct, we shouldn't stay friends, I think lovers would be a more appropriate title for us. And you know my hypotheses are almost always spot on. What if I truly, undeniable want it?” She tried to sneak closer to Amethyst again, now on her knees, one hand returning to it's place on Amethyst's thigh, the other caressing her cheek. Peridot was moving in closer and closer while Amethyst was frozen in her spot, feeling paralyzed. Maybe just one kiss… Maybe it really would make Peridot more at ease.

Then, Peridot quickly jumped back when she heard the jingling of the doorknob before it was thrown open, moving as far from Amethyst as she could. She stared at the door and was shocked to see Jasper standing there at the door. 

“Babe, why haven't you answered my texts? I can't- wait.” Jasper stopped suddenly once she realized Amethyst in her bed, “W-what? What the hell are _you_ doing here?!” She demanded, eyeing Amethyst cautiously. 

Before Peridot could do anything, Amethyst snapped out of her paralyzed state and rolled back on the bed and smiled, “Chill, homegirl. We were discussing the data charts in our lab and working on our project.” She gave Jasper a thumbs up and Jasper made a face at her but didn't question her anymore and was about to speak again when Peridot butted in. 

“Not that it's any of _your_ business to know! We are not together anymore! If you can have girls hanging off you and asking to basically have intercourae with you then I can have a girl in my bed!” She screeched, crossing her arms against her chest, “Maybe she can teach me how to give you pleasure and you won't have to be so _miserable_. And what are you even doing here? Who let you in? My mother? You're not allowed in here.”

“First of all, the sign on your door clear says I'm allowed always. And second, don't start again with this bullshit. Peridot, I do everything I can to keep you happy, and trust me when I say I've been faithful. Besides it's not like I'm going to have a bunch of lame band geeks hanging off me! Half the school doesn't even know we have a marching band! Most of those losers don't even like me!” Jasper let the words spill out her mouth before she could stop herself and her eyes widened, she glanced at Amethyst, uncomfortable that she could hear everything and she darted her eyes back to Peridot. 

But it was too late to pretend she hasn't said that, Peridot had heard it clearly. She grabbed at the sheets by her sides and icily stared at her ex-girlfriend and she slugged her shoulders down in defeat, “Is that,” Her voice cracked, “Is that really what you think of me? Is that really what you think of my-” She looked at Amethyst who looked super uncomfortable and also nervous, “What you think of _our_ team? Are you _embarrassed_ by me?” 

Jasper sighed and had no idea what to do. She hasn't meant it in a bad way but she supposed that was the only way it could be taken. But it was the media and the media never paid attention to marching bands. She walked over to get closer to her old girlfriend when Peridot screamed at her to stop. 

Suddenly Peridot's eyes were full of tears once more and both Amethyst and Jasper's hearts broke at the sight. She clenched the blanket at her side and looked Jasper dead in the eye, “Is _this_ what this is all about? Am I not _cool_ enough for you?” 

Amethyst was quick to speak, “I think I'm going to go, it's getting pretty late.” She didn't want to leave Peri in this state but she felt it was best to give them privacy and Jasper looked relieved that she was going to leave but the blonde stopped her. 

“No. I want you to stay. We need to get some of this done. If anyone should go, it should be _her_.” She practically spat out at her ex. Amethyst didn't particularly feel it was right to stay but she would do whatever to make her friend feel better. She stayed put but took out her phone to see uninterested and didn't look at it too much, even though she was actually listening intently.

“Babe, you know that's not what this is about. You're my precious little Peridork. It's just common for football players to hang out with the cheerleaders.” 

“It is 2015 and you still pay attention to social status? You let those…” Sighing, Peridot tried to search for a word. “...those clouds throw themselves at you! Perhaps if you got your _head out of your ass_ and grew up, then you could appreciate me in spite of my own social status. At least I am creating beautiful music, what are they producing?” 

“Hey, the cheer team is pretty good, haven't you seen them?” Jasper narrowed her eyes and defended her friends.

“Maybe,” Peridot's voice was dripping with annoyance. “If you had gotten as defensive for me, when I was your girlfriend, then we would not be in this situation, would we?” Her thin hand reached out to grab Amethyst and she held it right, but Amethyst was snatching it away, not wanting to infuriate the muscular strong girl. 

“You trying to tell me you've moved on already? Come on, I know you still love me.” A smirk formed on her lips and this made Peridot angrier. 

“Of course I am still in love with you!” Her tears fell at a steady rate and Amethyst had to fight herself to not scoop Peridot into her arms. “You do not just...stop loving someone. You were my first love, Jasper. Maybe because you have had _sooo_ many lovers, I do not mean as much to you as you do to me.” 

Instinctively, Peridot moved outstretched arms to Amethyst, asking for a hug but Amethyst shooked her head nervously. Jasper already didn't like that her ex was going to Amethyst for comfort and she could easily destroy her in a second. Peridot pouted but rolled her eyes after a few second and hugged her knees to her chest. 

“Babe, you're being ridiculous. I didn't do anything!” Jasper ran a hand through her own hair and she laughed nervously. 

“You really think this is funny?! And do not call me babe! My name is _Peridot!_ ” The small girl had her bony hands clutching her chest while she screamed at her ex-girlfriend. “And you want to know something? You are correct, I do spend the majority of my time doing a task related to band. Sometimes I put you off because I have to study and ‘studying’,” She made air quotes. “Never has a turnout of actually gaining knowledge of anything other than groping. I might be defined as a nerd! But I'm going places. I have a future!” She felt a bit of confidence in herself and there was a prideful glint in her eyes. “And you know, I can be someone's partner for life. I have been nothing but faithful. I have never once purposely flirted with anyone when we were dating. Which is not the same courtesy you have ever showed me in our relationship.

Jasper felt a pang of proudness for her ex, for sticking up for herself. She walked over to her and no one made a move for her to stop. She kneeled down so she could look up at Peridot. She placed her hands on both of her knees and even though the frail female flinched, she didn't make a move of protest. 

“I just…” Peridot trailed off, “I had not planned on losing you to _them._ You are aware of how insecure I feel about this. And how I feel about _them._ They do not enjoy my company.”

“You're right. You're much better than them. I shouldn't hang out with them if they don't agree with you because _you_ are my _girlfriend_. And I love you. You are more than any of them will ever be. And I love you. You're the most beautiful person I've seen in my life.” She placed a kiss to her knees, one at a time, and looked back up at her. “Okay? I won't text them and let them talk about you like that. You, Peridot Hara Madan, you are my love and you are my girlfriend. I love you more than anything. I can even quit football if you want me to. I don't deserve you.” She reached to grab Peridot's hand and was glad when she reluctantly let her hold it.

They played with each others hands and fingers and Peridot saw the parallels between them and Amethyst. She couldn’t help but think hers and Amethyst’s fit better. A sigh came from her and she looked at her lover, “You know I do not intend to be mean, but they do not like me.” She smiled half heartedly. “Fine. I'm not going to make you quit football. That would be unfair and I will not make you stop talking to them. I do not want to control you. I will entrust that you will be smart. But I swear to you, if you do this again and if you keep flirting with them, we _will_ be _done_. For good. Because I love you but it won't do me good to take too much of this.” 

“I swear, P, I don't want to lose you. I love you.” Jasper grinned and grabbed Peridot's face pulling her in for a kiss. They shared a kiss full of want and a bit of loathing. They kissed for a bit and things started getting intense. Peridot broke away and was out of breath, when she turned around and Amethyst quickly looked away from them, embarrassed to be caught staring. Jasper moved to sit behind Peridot, then pulling her into her lap.

Amethyst didn't say anything and held her breath. This is what it was like to have your heart really shatter. But at least Peridot was happy. Peridot chuckled nervously at Amethyst and her eyes pleaded with her not to say anything about what could've happened between them. She was pleading with her to be quiet and it pained Amethyst to think about what could've happened had Jasper not busted in.

Amethyst smiled at the couple. “Aw, so cute I'm gonna barf!” She joked, pretending to gag, and winked at the two and Peridot just rolled her eyes while Jasper faked a laugh and was glaring at her. 

“I apologize you had to see that, Amethyst.” Peridot looked sincerely sorry and she hoped it was clear that wasn't all she was apologizing for. 

“Oh!” Amethyst looked down at her hands and laughed nervously, feeling the burn of Jasper's sharp eyes on her. “It's cool. Um…” The silence that overtook was awkward and Jasper's lips found Peridot's neck from behind and the smaller girl tried to pull away and was blushing darkly. 

“Um, shall we…” Peridot looked around awkwardly, then down at Amethyst's practically forgotten notebook on her bed. Strong hands pulled her close and sharp teeth scraped against her neck. “Decide what…” Jasper had no regrets about making Peridot turn to goo right in front of Amethyst's eyes, but Peridot did. 

“Stop.” Her voice mumbled quietly to Jasper and reluctantly, she pulled her mouth away and kept her grasp more loose. “Shall we decide which kind of route we'd like to take on this project?” Typical Peri, all she could think of was their work first.

And before Amethyst could answer, Jasper spoke. “Actually, babe, you two can handle this a different time, right?” She was speaking to Peridot in her arms and then turned to make eye contact with Amethyst. 

Their eyes met. Sharp hazel eyes glared into nervous blue ones. Despite Amethyst's nerves and fear from the hostile look, she stared right back. 

“Of course, you wouldn't mind, right, dearest _amiga_?” The fake politeness in her deep voice made Amethyst clench her fists. A cracked, feral smile was lighting up Jasper's face and she still didn't look away from Amethyst even when Peridot tried to argue about how they need to get this done.

“Totally fine.” Amethyst replied back, trying to not sound irritated or scared, which she clearly was. “Nothing wrong with that, I know you two wanna get it on.” She snickered teasingly and finally tore her eyes away from Jasper's fiery ones to look down at Peridot, who squeaked out of embarrassment and her face was red, eyes wide. 

“You know it.” Jasper clicked her tongue and Amethyst did the same back in reply. Perhaps it was good to get out of here as soon as possible, even if she did desperately want to have a conversation with Peridot about how she can't keep forgiving someone who treats her like trash. 

But, the longer Amethyst stayed here looking at the couple, all snug together, the more upset she felt. She moved to collect her pencil, erased, and notebook, dumping them in her backpack.

“W-Wait! Amethyst!” Peridot exclaimed, biting her lip and squirming in Jasper's hold. “Do not leave!” 

This made Jasper shoot a look down at her girlfriend, which she didn't notice because she was too focused on her friend. Amethyst, on the other hand, looked down at her and chuckled. “Oh, Peri.” 

“We barely have gotten any work done!” The blonde exclaimed, reaching her hands out to grab Amethyst's wrist to stop her from leaving.   
Her behavior made Amethyst feel giddy for a few seconds, when she then remembered that Peridot and her were seconds away from kissing, and she chose Jasper after all the crap she has put her through. She hopped off the bed and swung her backpack onto her shoulder. 

“Dude, it's fine, we can start it some other time. It's not due soon, we got time.” Amethyst half smiled at Peridot, more feelings of sadness hitting her. She made her way to the door, walking backwards and waving at the two. 

“Alright…” Peridot sighed and relaxed back into her girlfriend's hold. “Perhaps tomorrow?” She suggested half heartedly and was pulled in close against the beefy girl behind her. 

“Perhaps.” 

“Goodbye?” It came out more like a question. 

“Bye!” Jasper didn't even try to hide her excitement for her to leave.

“Goodbye, you two.” Amethyst winked and her tone was uncharacteristically soft. “Have fun. Nice to see you again, Jasper.” With that, she walked out the door and closed it behind her, but once out, she just stood there.

She hoped no one would find her as she lingered on the other side of the now closed door, listening secretly. 

Through the wood, she heard the sound of lips kissing against skin and heard Jasper inquire about why Amethyst was really there.

_“Peri, you know I don't like secrets. What was going on here?”_

_“Nothing!”_

_“I don't believe it. She seems pretty excited to get in your pants.”_ From the other side of the door, Amethyst flinched. That was the last thing on her mind. She heard more sounds of kissing, they sounded more intense.

_“Who cares!”_ Peridot squeaked out from the other side of the door and she let out a low moan. Amethyst could only imagine what Jasper was doing now. _“She means nothing to me. I was just trying to make you feel what I felt. It's irrelevant. You're my girlfriend, she's my band mate.”_

_“You promise?”_

_“Yes,”_ she heard Peridot breath out, _“I am yours and no one else's. I am yours.”_

_Wow._ Thought Amethyst. _Getting shot repeatedly would probably feel better than this._ She should've known, after all, Peridot was just feeling vulnerable but Amethyst had started sprouting feelings for her since the beginning and being the rebound really sucked. It's almost as if she could hear her heart breaking.

She walked out the house and went to her car and sat there thinking when her eyes trailed back to the house. 

Through Peridot's open window, she could see Jasper attacking her neck with kisses and Peridot had the most precious look on her face. Her face was flustered, full of bliss and she saw her wrap her arms around Jasper and Jasper kissed her neck more aggressively and Peridot pulled her down and all she could see now were the bulky girls broad shoulders. She swallowed the lump in her throat and made her way back home. Once she arrived at her destination she plopped right onto her bed and tried to fall asleep but her thoughts were eating her.

_‘She's means nothing to me’_ Peridot's words floated around her mind. Was this really true? Did Peridot just see her as a school person and not a friend? And why had she insisted so hard on kissing her? How could she go from crawling all over her to saying she meant nothing to her within a matter of an hour? Was she lying to make Jasper feel better? But if Jasper really was as flirty as Peridot said, why would Peridot care about trying to claim her and Amethyst were doing something? 

Time passed and the next thing Amethyst knew, it was 12AM and she still was thinking of it. She hurt so bad and wanted a little distraction but couldn't even bring herself to muster up energy to roll a blunt and light it, so instead she just went on Snapchat and tried to distract herself by looking at people's stories. She saw Peridot posted to her story about 30 minutes ago. Knowing she shouldn't but needing to know, she clicked on it and she should've listened to herself and ignored her curiosity. 

On her phone screen, she saw a dark blurry image of Peridot snug in Jasper's arms. They were both shirtless but covered by a blanket. Peridot was smiling at the camera and the image was captioned by a text that said, ‘Falling back into the same routine is not a bad thing’ and a heart emoji.

A couple of minutes passed of Amethyst staring at the story, replying it, and then she saw a text came through to her phone. It was from Peridot.

_I'm sorry_. It read.

**Yeah.**

_Please do not tell her what was going on. She can not find out._

**It's cool. I wasn't planning on telling her. What am I for besides keeping your secrets hidden from your girlfriend?** Amethyst joked. 

_I behaved very inappropriately. Thank you for helping me and not letting me get out of control._

**I wouldn't let myself sleep at night if I took advantage of you.**

Another text.

**What about you, are you happy tho?**

_Honestly, I feel super happy right now. Thank you for taking care of me Amethyst, you are the best friend I could ask for._

A few minutes. 

_Would you want to come over tomorrow afternoon at around 3?_

This message did not get a reply. An hour ago, Peridot had claimed that she meant nothing to her, and now she was telling her that she was her best friend. And why was it still making Amethyst feel giddy to hear that? She stared down, and suddenly felt hot tears running down her cheeks. For once, she had no idea what to do about this. 

Of course, she wanted Peridot to be happy, but was Peridot really happy? She may think that being with Jasper is who she belongs with and that she's ecstatic with her, but Jasper treated Peridot like shit, whether she saw it herself or not and was clearly undeserving. And today, while she watched the two of them fix their relationship, her mind was yelling at Peridot for her to not forgive her again, but she stayed quiet. 

Plus, this was really hurting her, to not mean anything to Peridot, if it was true. Distancing herself from her was probably a good idea, but thinking of the nerd in her head, she knew she wouldn't be able to. Somehow, she had to find a time and a way to explain this to Peridot, and it had to be quick before it possibly turned physical, but for now, she sobbed into her pillow as quietly as she could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also to clarify, Jasper did not force Peridot, she edged/hinted Peridot on, which was still bad but Peri would not do something she was not comfortable with, even if she is being manipulated.
> 
> ahhh I HATE writing Jasper like this. No, I don't really see her as a monster but it works for the sake of plot. She's actually one of my fav characters tbh. 
> 
> Mi Tumblr is justadapperbowtie and the tag for this is 'dmoyh' feel free to leave stuff related to this into here or just tag something with this that makes you think of it
> 
> Reviews, commentary, art, whatever is always welcome!!! Reviews make me happy *u*
> 
> Until next time, loves.


	14. Talking, Talking, Talking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first days after the almost kiss happened.
> 
> (A lot of this is just dialogue, I swear -n- whatever.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS, THIS TOOK WAY LONGER THAN I MEANT FOR IT TO  
> I had a terrible terrible case of writer's block, kind of. Hopefully the new chapter will come easier! It's currently 4:03AM and I'm really tired, plus my parents are leaving today, and Steven happens tomorrow. Lots of stuff going on.  
> Which brings me to my next thing to discuss.
> 
> As you all should probably know, I am in marching band (and the two other bands but) and I went to band camp pt. 1 earlier in June, but now band camp pt. 2 is coming up! It's 10 hours, and while I don't actually go to a camp anywhere, I will be extremely exhausted! I won't be able to post any new chapters of this during the week of the 25th-29th. :( I'm sorry!!! 
> 
> Also, might I note that this was so hard to get written out, and I didn't plan this out at all, a lot of the things are just from random shoots of 5 second creativity, plus I had five different documents since I always lost inspo and got it for a different scene. I'm so tired so the flow of this is probably shady and the whole chapter I'm not very proud of, but the next one should be much better! 
> 
> I'll likely edit this later today or this week sometime. I'm really tired.

It was nearly an hour after 3PM and Amethyst hadn't messaged Peridot at all, despite the app saying that she was active recently. This angered her more. She had read her first message about meeting up but the others just said delivered. Peridot had even gotten dress a little better than yesterday and cleaned up, hoping to give them a better work space. She had also brought some snacks to her room, in case they got hungry and needed a break. 

But it didn't seem as though Amethyst was coming. She was never late to these things and she never just didn't answer. Her phone was practically on her the whole entire time, so there was no way she hasn't seen it yet. 

Perhaps she was angered at Peridot. But she apologized and was talking just fine last night! Of course, she had been acting immaturely and unprofessionally yesterday. She was practically throwing herself at Amethyst and it seemed completely like a rebound to Amethyst, but Peridot had been wanting to kiss her ever since she realized it the week of the chamber concert. 

But it wasn't just as fresh as that. She had been wondering for a while what she was feeling. All she knew was that she wanted to be held by Amethyst and that the thought of Lapis and Amethyst being a couple made her uncomfortable. She never really realized it until that week of the recital how much she really _likes_ Amethyst. The feelings had been pushed aside because of Jasper but she was acting on them yesterday and she loved the feeling of being back together with Jasper but couldn't help but think about what it would've been like if Amethyst hadn't been pushing it off.

What frustrated Peridot the most about Amethyst being late, or not coming, was that she had spent hours last night while in Jasper's arms about what she should say to Amethyst. It was a pretty weird thing to just ignore. She planned a whole apology and had woken up this morning with charts of why she possibly did what she did and what the outcomes could have been. Being that she had spent her time with her girlfriend thinking of a plan on making their friendship okay, she would be pretty salty if Amethyst actually was ditching out on her.

These were the things Peridot told to herself. That it's why she was beginning to feel upset, she spent all thing time thinking about her, after all, it's not like she had legitimate feelings for her or something. 

Which, of course, was a big lie to herself. 

She'd never dealt with feeling this strongly for someone else other than her girlfriend. And it was wrong for her to think about other girls like this when she was taken. There was no way that Peridot could make both of them happy and be with them. She wouldn't even want to, now that she thinks about it. Either she'd want to be exclusive to Amethyst or be with Jasper. It's bizarre that for some reason, she was beginning to lean more on the Amethyst side, but then why did she go back to Jasper?

Trying not to think of it, Peridot pulled out her phone and went to Amethyst's chat head on Messenger and saw it say _Active now_. Feeling a glint of hope, she sent out a quick text to Amethyst, telling her that she had plans for their project and snacks, knowing that Amethyst loved to eat. But alas, it wasn't even read, despite that it said she was online. Peridot grumbled and sighed, waiting. 

.

Pulling the glass pipe out of her small backpack, Amethyst opened the baggie and started to pack the bowl. She handed it over to Lapis who put the end of the pipe to her mouth while Amethyst lit it for her. 

When Lapis takes the first hit, it's always never as smooth as when Amethyst does, but it makes sense because Lapis doesn't do this as often as her. But this time, when Lapis handed it over to Amethyst, she felt it burn in her lungs and she immediately began coughing out the smoke. 

“Ha!” Lapis laughed at her friend and was smirking maliciously. “Looks like the pro is starting to lose it.”

“Shut up,” Amethyst grumbled, rubbing her throat and watched Lapis snap the pipe out of her hand. “I’ve been lighting up cigs more often recently. Why do you think I still have so much?” Amethyst asked rhetorically, shaking the bag at Lapis, who just rolled her eyes and took another hit. 

After blowing out the smoke, Lapis handed it back and fakes a gag. “Gross, Ame. Cigarettes are nasty.” Adjusting positions on the rock the two of the were sitting on was annoying, it was hard and was pushing into her ass uncomfortably.

“Whatever, dude.” Amethyst let the smoke fill up her lungs and made air rings just to show off. “Still a better stoner than you will be.” She sent a raspy wink to Lapis but her smiled fell to confusion when she felt her phone vibrate and she pulled it out while Lapis took her turn. Amethyst looked at the Facebook message she got and saw it was from Peridot, but didn't click on it, just rolled down her notification panel to see what it said and her heart ached to ignore her but she didn't feel like talking to her. 

And she felt bad for it but she didn't care very much about it, feeling the stress leaving her the more she took in the smoke. After they finished the bowl off, Amethyst contemplated refilling it and eventually did, though not as much as she usually did. 

By the time they finished that off, both of the two girls were higher than an airplane in the sky. They were giggling and Amethyst pulled out her phone multiple times to make Snapchat videos for her story. 

They were various different random videos, most of raspy singing clips and putting various Snapchat filters over herself and face swapping with Lapis. Without hesitation, she posted the different videos, cackling at every one of them. When she went to post another one, she saw she had a message, and it was from Peridot. 

Hesitating, she states at the phone in her hand, her high state making her even more confused. Unfortunately, unlike every other place Peridot had messaged her on, this time it just said ‘Peri’ and that's it. From the corner of her, she heard Lapis making her own videos and gulping down the water bottle she had. Figuring it wouldn't hurt, Amethyst swiped on Peridot's name and saw the single message, a chat to one of her videos. 

_Pleased to have been invited._

Eyebrows furrowed, Amethyst stared at it for a few minutes, holding down and saving the message out of instinct. Typing out a quick reply, she felt anxious. This was the first time she was talking to Peridot all day, despite her continuous stream of texts. **lol you don't smoke**

Peridot's reply was quick and Amethyst could hear her saying it. _No, thank the lords for that. I have asthma, I would not even be able to._

**but u wanted to be invited???**

_I arranged for us to study and work today and you did not show. Common courtesy would've been to let me know._

Amethyst didn't reply to that one. Peridot always resorted to being passive aggressive when she was angry. Though she didn't expect to be, she was glad she decided to hang out with Lapis instead of Peridot. She was having fun and had to deal with less of an aching heart.

Another text came, though. _I wanted to see you._

That one, too, got ignored. 

.

“You could not have at least texted me that you could not come over?”

That was the first thing Amethyst heard when she walked into her chemistry class. Peridot was leaning back in her chair, unlike herself and under her desk was her backpack. Her bleached hair was ruffled and now was the time that Amethyst noticed how quickly her dark regrowth was coming out. It looked like she had bags under her eyes. 

“Calm down.” Was all Amethyst said in return, wanting to stay a safe distance from Peridot but all the desks were pushed together, per the seating chart, so she had no choice but to reluctant plop into her own chair, tossing her backpack beside her after she fished out her notebook.

“I waited for you until five!” Peridot admitted, jumping to rest her arms on her desk, trying to peer at Amethyst who was staring down at her desk. She didn't sound too angry, mostly embarrassed. “I expected you and therefore could not meet with my girlfriend!”

“I had other plans.” Amethyst shrugged her shoulders, trying not to have bite in her tone because she didn't want to have an argument with her, especially not now. 

“What, to get _high?_ This information would've been valuable for me to know.” Peridot glared and watched Amethyst put her head down, facing away from her. 

Why Peridot was mad, Amethyst wasn't quite sure, she didn't seem to care about working with Amethyst when she had that whole drama on Saturday with Jasper. “Obviously. It was a great day for me, had fun. Jeez, maybe I'm not the one who needed it. Guess I should've invited you after all.” She jokes, though it wasn't said in her comical manner.

“I have asth—”

The statement was cut off by the one minute warning bell and before she could finish speaking, Amethyst did instead. “I know, we had this convo yesterday. Remember?” 

“Okay, listen to me, please.” Now Peridot's voice became softer and was less harsh. She lowered her head, moving closer to Amethyst and speaking quietly. Amethyst could practically feel her breathing down her neck. 

“Did you not want to because of the events that took place the night before that?” It was gentle and she seemed unsure of her question. 

Since she was prompted, Amethyst was about to answer before she even finished her thought.

Peridot's wavering voice stopped before her raspy one could even start. “Because I am truly sorry for my behavior, Amethyst. I was emotionally vulnerable and you were very mature for not letting me embarrass myself completely.” 

Oh boy, Peridot really didn't consider her words too much before she spoke. Amethyst frowned even more, though she couldn't see it. Would her actually kissing her be that embarrassing for her? That's how her words sounded to Amethyst. 

She felt a hand touch her shoulder and she flinched, but didn't shrug it off, just let it stay there. “Perhaps it was a foolish move, but I really did—” The bell signalling class had started went off and despite the fact that she wanted to continue, their teacher already began speaking and she didn't sound like she had that good of a class period before them

Sighing, Peridot sat up, focusing her attention on their teacher. She had wished she had gotten her thoughts out before she ran out of time, but she also wasn't even sure where her words were heading. They were just coming out as they came to her and she was about to admit that it wasn't just because of her emotional state, but that she truly wanted to kiss her, which she barely even admitted to herself. 

While lost in thought, she saw her teacher look towards them and the two made eye contact. Nervously, she nodded, not knowing what to say. Then, the words stopped from her mouth and her brows furrowed. Peridot swallowed. 

“Excuse me, Amethyst.” The words came harshly from her teacher’s mouth. “Do not sleep in my class while I am talking.” She scolded, glaring at Peridot's partner.

Clearly Amethyst had heard her and she wasn't sleeping yet, though she wished she was. She barely moved, just turned her head so that she could look back at her teacher. “Listen, I've had a very stressful few days and I gots to have my beauty rest.”

Sweating nervously, Peridot's foot moved to kick Amethyst, lightly. 

“You will do as I say or get sent to the isolation center!” Ms. Gutierrez screamed, making half the class jump. Though she was a pretty laid back teacher, her class before theirs was her least favorite and she also did not like when people would talk over her or ignore her when she was speaking. 

“Ugh, fine.” Amethyst groaned and sat up, letting bangs hair fall over her eye and she rolled them. 

Thankfully, the science teacher didn't notice because she had turned her attention to Peridot, who was no longer paying attention to her, instead staring at her partner. Today Amethyst was wearing makeup, probably to cover her apparent lack of sleep and she looked super cute with her winged eyeliner and faint eye shadow. What Peridot didn't notice before was that her lips were covered, but they were almost identical to her natural lip color that she missed it. And of course, they were glossy with her strawberry lip gloss.   
“And Peridot.” It was said with such disdain and the blonde blushed in return, turning her full attention back to the teacher. “Where is your notebook? You're supposed to be ready for class.” 

Since she had arrived to get class, she had been totally distracted by her plans to interrogate Amethyst. Without saying anything, Peridot reached down to grab her bag and pull out her notebook and when she looked back to the teacher, she sighed with relief that the attention was off of her. 

Their teacher continued on as if she hadn't stopped and explained that they were to discuss project details with one another and to set up dates. She handed out the paper of the dates for the average pace you should be working on it, when you hit a certain point, blah blah. She went off to her desk at the left of the room while the students just began chattering. 

But Amethyst just looked at Peridot for a split second and laid her head down, preparing to take a nap on her desk. Peridot groaned and rubbed her eyes exhaustedly. 

“Do not fall asleep, we already have less time for this because of our marching band schedule, which is why I wanted to get this started yesterday!” Peridot's voice raised as her frustration did. She realized that she was becoming increasingly less calm and she had to pause in her thoughts. “I was not trying to...use you.” 

This topic was obviously making Peridot embarrassed. Amethyst popped her head up a bit, looking at her friend, who looked apologetic. They held each other's gaze for a second and Amethyst could feel her heart fluttering and she wished desperately that she could've felt Peridot's thin, chapped lips, even if it would've been for a few minutes. Even though she felt frustrated about her feelings for this girl, her confused, shy expression made her want to pull her in and kiss her until she went numb. 

“You are a good friend to me and I'm sorry for all the trouble I have put you through. It wasn't my intention to involve you with my drama with Jasper.” Amethyst was looking at Peridot while she spoke, watching the way her lips moved as she rambled. “You’re not disposable or any of that sort. You mean a lot to me and please do not be mad at me?” She pleaded with her and pushed her hairs from her face. 

“I'm not mad, Peri.” Amethyst sat up again, holding her hands together on her desk. “It's fine, alright? I get it.” She forced a smile, her eyes getting slightly less sad. “You’re my friend, I just didn't want think to be awkward, ya know?” At this, Peridot nodded slightly in agreement. 

Though there was still tension, the more they talked, the less it filled the air and after twenty minutes, they were almost back to their normal banter. Peridot was smiling at Amethyst's jokes and the smile brought glee to herself. They got a decent amount of their work done, which Amethyst had mostly expected them to not do anything, but she was pleasantly surprised. 

“Um.” Peridot mumbled after a few minutes of silence, not uncomfortable but silent. “Would you maybe want to meet up again to complete this faster? I promise that nothing like last time will happen. Would you like to?”

Amethyst's mind was shouting that she did, that she wanted nothing more than to meet Peridot up just to be with her, spend time with her, and hear her adorable laugh, with just the two of them, though she felt a little hesitant. She took in the hope in Peridot's eyes and gave in. “Sure, homegirl. I'll text you when I'm free, a’ight?”

“Alright.” Peridot mused, smiling at Amethyst. “I promise, they'll be no Jasper, and no almost kissing. I'm sorry again.” The mention of what happened between the made the air feel a bit more awkward, but it went away after Amethyst cracked a couple of jokes. 

.

If she was being honest, Jasper loved going to school. She loved going because everyone loved her there. On a daily basis, she got to talk with her buddies, the football team, the cheerleaders, but most importantly, her adorable, nerdy girlfriend. Peridot and her shared one class together, which was their math class, the only higher level class Jasper too. It was Honors Algebra 3-4, and Peridot was in it because she was a year ahead of the norm for her grade. 

That class was pretty hard to concentrate. She would always let her eyes wander to Peridot, who was attentive to the teacher at all times, as expected, but when ever they got the chance to move around, Jasper distracted Peridot like crazy. 

Other than that, they'd always meet up with one another after every class period, sometimes during their lunch period. Usually, Jasper had to go to the performing arts building and into the band room where Peridot always stayed, but sometimes she'd go to the gym to meet up a few of her friends in the athletic department. Peridot refused to go there, for some odd reason, but Jasper wasn't complaining too much.

But she did like to keep Peridot to herself. Which is why it angered her greatly to see Amethyst around Peridot. At first, at the triple date, Jasper had gotten along well with Amethyst and she was quite fond of her and her jokes, but she didn't miss the way Amethyst would subtlety hit on Peridot, always touching her in some type of way, looking at her the way she did. It wasn't until the chamber recital when she tried to be sly about insulting their relationship, but Jasper noticed. She noticed every time someone tried to get too close to Peridot. 

And she wanted to protect her girlfriend from them. She didn't want anyone to touch her girlfriend. As a child, she was always pretty greedy but she has the same greed with people too. 

A part of Jasper was also scared that Peridot would find someone more like her and leave her for them. The two of them were surely...different. There was the fact that the only exercise Peridot got was in marching band, whereas Jasper got cranky when she wasn't able to exercise in some type of way. Jasper mostly liked rap music, though she did let Peridot listen to her classical music. Frankly, Jasper wasn't artistic at all. The only type of art she liked doing was painting, and she was mediocre at best with it. 

In all honesty, they probably would not have ended up together or even really met if they didn't bump into each other when they did. They're two very different people. Amethyst and Peridot, however, those two had much more to talk about than Jasper did with her. 

Now Jasper was laying in Peridot's bed, while Peridot was sitting in the desk chair, a music stand in front of her, and her clarinet in one hand while she observe a section of her music that she was having trouble with. She was humming something, probably the rhythms that she was reading. Jasper had been watching her for what was likely an hour now, sometimes going on her phone to browse or take casual candids of her girlfriend to caption it with something cheesy and post it to her story, but for the most part she observed her as Peridot worked.

Taking a deep breath and exhaling loudly, Jasper casually tried to bring up a topic she had been wanting to discuss for a while. “I want to join band.” 

When she started to speak, Peridot had the tip of the mouthpiece between her lips and she blew lightly when Jasper had finished speaking and she hasn't processed her words yet. But when she did, she accidentally bit down on tip from trying to talk while it was there. Wincing at the clashing of her teeth to the mouthpiece and hearing a crush of the reed, she pulled her mouth off it and began taking it apart. While doing this, she was quickly forgetting all about what her girlfriend said. 

So Jasper spoke again. “How can I join?” Her face was flustered at even the thought of actually being with the band. Since she hung out with Peridot very often, most of the members knew her and they considered her an honorary member, but she also felt very excluded from the whole group. All of them were I'm higher level classes for their grades and they understood the little black dots with lines that Jasper couldn't understand whenever she had tried to. She felt left out of their inside jokes they always made and it didn't feel quite good. 

Peridot's green eyes snapped to Jasper, examining her expression while her hands moved to pull apart the instrument. She took in Jasper's flustered and intrigued expression, and she raised an eyebrow. “Wait, are you being serious right now?” Moving her clarinet to the side while she inspected the damage to her reed, sighing loudly when she saw it was ruined. 

Sending Peridot a look of seriousness, Jasper sat up on the bed. “I mean, yeah? Why is that so surprising? You think I'm not smart enough to learn an instrument?” 

Rolling her eyes, Peridot crossed her legs, scooting back on the chair. “Of course that's not the reason. But, to be fair, this wouldn't be the first time you have told me that.”

It was true. There had been three other times since they'd been dating that Jasper had attempted to join band. Mostly due to hints from Peridot that she'd like another excuse to spend more time with them. When Jasper finally said something about being interested, Peridot jumped on board to start trying to teacher her clarinet, but alas, that didn't work out because it wasn't the instrument for her. Then another time, Peridot had brought Jasper in to talk to the band director and he suggested tuba, which she had given up after she had been given a mouthpiece to practice buzzing on, which she had angrily given up on after days of not being able to. 

The last time was what Peridot really thought would be the last time. She was trying to learn the flute since brass and reed instruments weren't her thing, so she had a dainty flute. After a bit of independent practicing with it, she was able to make sound with it, but gave it up after a particular teammate laughed at her and made fun of her for playing a traditionally feminine instrument, which Peridot didn't understand at all because 1. Instruments don't have genders and 2. Jasper is a female, so why was it shocking? 

Shrugging her shoulders, Jasper tapped her fingers against her phone, making a clanking noise. “I think I wanna play drums.” 

Peridot winced at the casualness of the term. “You mean you want to join percussion?” Nothing annoyed her more than when people said drums when they didn't have a set person for the drumset, which is what people always meant when they said ‘drums’ and that there were different types of drums, so it was a very vague term. 

Nodding, Jasper agreed. “I just wanna bang stuff.” She thought for a second a lewd thought entered her mind. “Something other than _you,_ of course.” A victorious smile overtook her expression when Peridot blushed darkly. 

“Anyway,” Peridot ignored the comment and stared at her girlfriend across the room. “Do you really wish to? Why do you want to try again?” She could've sworn that Jasper would never want to join band again, but here she was, bringing it up unprovoked. 

The real reason Jasper had wanted to was because she saw the way Peridot and Amethyst interacted with one another, and she didn't like it. Being in band with her would be an excuse to keep an eye on the two. It's not like she didn't trust Peridot, but she didn't trust others to keep their hands off her. “I wanna be with you more, P. Next year I'm going to graduate and I wanna spend as much time with you as possible.” 

“Jay, we hang out with one another on a daily basis, and we text all the time. Don't join just because you want to see me.” Scolding her was something Peridot was becoming known to, whether it was about being lewd in public or doing things she probably should.

Some part of Peridot was also reluctant to have Jasper in band with her. Band had become something that was hers, something that she got to enjoy for herself and with her own friends. She was free whenever she was in the band room, whenever she picked up her clarinet and played it. Having Jasper in there would add stress as well as her having to be limited on what she can talk about with who, or who could even be near her. 

“But I want to.” Jasper's vitiligo stained face light up in an excited smile and her eyes brightened. “And I really do wanna learn percussion or whatever. Plus, I can get closer to the gang. Jade, Ruby,…Amethyst.” She was planning on leaving out the last name but said it anyway, just to see Peridot's reaction. 

When she heard the name, Peridot narrowed her eyes and looked away. She always tried to avoid bring up Amethyst when it came to Jasper, especially since the incident happened and they were in the same bed together. Trying to not make too big a deal of it, she walked over to the bed and sat at the edge. 

“I suppose if you really want to and are determined to prosper, I can bring you in to talk to Mr. A again, and bring Sour Cream to help assist you in getting started. You'd need to drop a class though, because it's far too late for marching band.” 

Thinking it over, Jasper reached her arms out for Peridot to come closer and she obliged. “I could drop French,” Jasper suggested, knowing how much she hated being in that class. “I can just finish the second semester online or in summer school.” 

Smiling in agreement, Peridot let herself fall into Jasper's strong embrace. “That sounds like a plan. We can stop by after school tomorrow, if you'd like to? Then you can schedule a time to discuss this with your counselor. Sounds good?” In reply, Jasper leaned down to smooch her on the lips, but before it could get any deeper, Peridot was squirming out of her lap and going back to her desk chair. 

“You owe me new reeds, though. This one is done for.” Sadly, Peridot picked up the broken reed and shoved it in Jasper's face. “Look at it!” 

“Don't blame me, blame your sharky teeth!” Jasper grinned back at Peridot and raising her hands up in defense. The times when Peridot and Jasper just got to just be with one another and nothing but laughter was becoming rarer and rarer, but both of them appreciated having a chilled conversation. 

Though Peridot actually really didn't want Jasper to join band, the most she thought about it. Sure, she had when their relationship was fresh and they didn't see as much with each other, but it'd just be like she'd be watched the whole time. Jasper would probably try to distract Peridot during rehearsals, as well as make inappropriate jokes to her friends, and she'd probably have to grow more distant from Amethyst, which she really didn't want that to happen. 

But Jasper knew that something had to be going on in there. Even if it was during marching band, she'd get to hang out more and more with the group, which meant keeping an eye on Peridot. She had to keep what was hers to herself and protect it. Even though she was smart, Peridot was naive and innocent and Jasper wanted to keep her safe.   
Then Amethyst might finally take the hint. 

.

When Jasper and Peridot walked into the band room after school the next day, Amethyst was surprised. She was busy getting the music for regionals (she had found out she was allowed to with permission from teachers) and she usually saw Peridot walk in to get her clarinet, but never with Jasper. 

“Hey guys.” Amethyst greeted when she saw Jasper looked oddly uncomfortable and Peridot held her hand and led her to her locker. 

Mr. A was in his office, more of the back part which was really the library, to be exact and printing her music so she was standing at the podium waiting. It was a little over five minutes since the bell rang ending class, so everyone was pretty much gone, having collected their instruments already. 

“Greetings, Amethyst.” Peridot welcomed while she bent over to reach into her locket to take out her clarinet and music. By her side, Jasper stiffened at Peridot mentioning Amethyst, so she narrowed her cat like eyes at her, then moved them to Peridot bent over. 

“ _Hola, chica_.” Jasper forced a smile and as soon as she finished speaking, she made a big deal of slapping Peridot rear, then chuckling to herself.

The action made Peridot squeak loudly and stand up straight, turning around to face Jasper, keeping her butt away from her. She then looked at Amethyst embarrassingly, who was blushing and was looking away quickly. 

“Don't do that, Jay!” Peridot whisper screamed, looking at the office door nervously. “Mr. A is in that room, I would have figuratively died if he had seen you do that!” 

All Jasper did was laugh again, Peridot shooting her an angry look. Without bending down, she trickily closed her locker back up and locked the lock. As soon as she started to walk, her clarinet in one hand and her music folder tucked under her arm, Jasper pulled her against the wall and kissed her with purpose.

And while Peridot seemed confused, she was leaning into to the kiss. Both of the Hispanic women knew exactly what the point of the kiss was. Jasper was trying to claim Peridot as property. Instead of getting upset, Amethyst cackled and cracked a joke. “Man, gross guys, if I wanted to puke I'd run the show for ten reps non stop with no water.” 

Pulling away, Peridot shoved Jasper off of her lightly and moved to stand by the podium as well, waiting for her director. Jasper growled grumpily but moved to stand in between Peridot and Amethyst, not minding that she had to shove Amethyst to make room for herself, and Peridot oblivious to the tension between them. 

The three of them awkwardly waited, Jasper and Peridot now holding hands and Amethyst with her hands crossed over her chest, bored. Smirking cockily, Jasper leaned down to whisper in Peridot's ear, low enough the Peridot could hear it but Amethyst couldn't, though maybe because she didn't want to. Whatever it was, Peridot's face was a dark shade of red. 

Although it felt like hours, it was probably only a minute until the youthful band director walked out with Amethyst's music and shot Jasper and Peridot a look of confusion. 

“Here you go, Amethyst.” He handed over the music to Amethyst. “I will keep you updated on the further details through Peridot.” Taking it from him, Amethyst smiled, now excited to see the music. 

“A'ight thanks.” She moved to the lockers to study the music for a while, just chilling. Usually she just sat here for a while, or chatted with whoever was still left, sometimes just to the director. 

Their band director wasn't very tall, though still taller than Amethyst and Peridot, definitely not taller than Jasper though. He was a young Korean man, in his early twenties, the students estimated, and they weren't wrong. He was laid back and humorous most of the time, which made it scary for the students to see him angry. He taught all bands, orchestra, and guitar class. 

“Do you guys need something?” He asked, looking up at Jasper and then down at Peridot.

“Yes, sir, Jasp-”

“Peridot, I told you, don't call me sir. Mr. A is fine.” 

Pausing and resisting the urge to scowl, Peridot nodded before continuing. “Yes! Well, Jasper here is interested in joining band.” She gestured to her tall girlfriend. 

The polite smile dropped from the Korean man's face and he just started. “I seem to believe you have tried twice and never went through with your promises.” It wasn't like Mr. A hated Jasper, he liked when she would volunteer and use her popularity to promote the band, but it got on his nerves when students gave up so easily.

“I wanna do drums though.” Jasper pointed to the drum set in the back of the room, next to the drum set. “That one in particular. And I'll be super determined this time!” Jasper promised. 

Her behavior made Peridot cringe, and she avoided looking at her director because he'd probably scold her for not educating her more on the technical things of how their band worked.

“Actually, the _percussionists_ switch, so you won't be able to play that one all the time.” He explained, resisting the urge to facepalm. “But, if you can promise that you'll actually work on it, I can arrange for Sour Cream to show you around a little and teach you about them, after school. Would you be able to attend?” 

Happily, Jasper agreed and Peridot just stood at her girlfriend's side, holding her hand and half listening. When he ended the conversation, the two of them kindly nodded bye to him while they left hand in hand. 

Outside from the band room, Amethyst was listening and grew frustrated. Sure, she wasn't in concert band but why would Jasper be joining? Growling, she walking back into the band room, took her music and went off to her car. 

.

Peridot was pretty satisfied with how the week was going, Jasper had been very calm recently, plus her and Amethyst were making optimal progress on their project and were well ahead of their peers. They made up for the missing days that they were going to be out of class and were nearing finishing. They needed a few more finishing touches so that it would be more stable, but other than that, they were doing well. Peridot was due to go over to Amethyst's house, because her mother was fostering a cat and Peridot insisted they shouldn't stay over, so Amethyst reluctantly agreed they work at her house. 

And Peridot was maybe trying a bit too hard, because she was excited to see her. She had been nervous on the whole bus ride home and when she got home, she immediately looked for something out of her usual attire. She wanted to clean up a bit for Amethyst, even if it was just a school related meetup. Still, looking through her closet, she frowned when she realized she only had her casual wear and her formal wear, including a few dresses that she took to weddings and some of the traditional Indian robes that her parents gave to her for special weddings. 

This would be more difficult than she initially thought. She found a green, short sleeved button up blouse that was a remarkable improvement from her usual ratty t-shirts, but it wasn't too fancy that it'd be that big of a deal. For her bottoms, she found a pair of leggings that she never wore and worried about how her leg would look with that tight material over it, but eventually just threw it on.   
Then, she moved over to her desk, where there was a very small box of makeup. She pulled out a contour palette and used that mirror, bringing out her foundation and then attempting to highlight and contour her face. In the end, she thought it looked pretty okay, and she brushed some mascara over her eyelashes. 

For a second, she considered some lipstick, but then realized that'd be overdoing it and she didn't want to do that, so she stuck with just using her Chopsaver lip balm, just to moisturize them. The thought occurred to her that it didn't matter, because she knew she did it so that Amethyst wouldn't feel her chapped lips when they touched— but that wasn't going to happen. 

Unfortunately, Amethyst wasn't able to pick her up and take her, so her mother was doing the honors of driving her there. After she gathered all the things and she took one last look at herself, she ran down the stairs to get her mother so they could go. 

.

Peridot was sitting on Amethyst's bed, her sprawled out in front of her and she grabbed her part of the project, along with her pencil pouch, which Amethyst did the same, as she sat cross legged. 

“You're wearing makeup.” Amethyst commented, pushing lead out of her mechanical pencil and brought it down to her paper to write her name, which she noticed she didn't do. 

“Oh,” Peridot smiled and looked across the bed at Amethyst. “I was experimenting with different techniques and products before coming her. I must've forgotten to take it off.” The lie was believable and Amethyst nodded in understanding. 

“Looks cute though.” She winked and then cleared her throat, not giving Peridot time to reply as she changed the subject to their work. 

To Peridot's dismay, they actually did work on it. They were practically done and all they had to do was print one last thing, which Peridot said she'd do once she got home. The two of them happily tucked away their school work and Amethyst got more comfortable, while Peridot just observed her surroundings. 

“You room looks more full since the last time I came here.” Peridot commented, noticing only a few boxes and the room was now decorated. There were various canvases hung up, a bookshelf in the corner that carried worn out books. On the walls were white string lights and there were a few photos hung up, but Peridot didn't take too much notice of them. What also caught her eye was the suspicious looking box and she noticed that the smell of cigarettes had overtaken the slight weed scent when she last stayed her. She frowned. 

“Oh, yeah.” Amethyst shrugged, looking around her room too. “Anyway, do you need a ride home? I can take ya, if you need one.” She offered, mostly because the room was starting to grow awkward with their silence and they no longer had something to keep them busy. 

“No!” The reply was said in a much louder tone and the blonde realized it, blushing and looking down at her legs. “I mean, if you could, yes please. But I do not wish to leave yet.” 

“But we finished.” Amethyst replied, not knowing what else there'd be to do. 

Peridot pursed her lips. “I wanted to...hang out with you. We are never really faced with too many opportunities to outside of band related events.” The back of her mind was telling her this was a bad idea, but she didn't care that much at all. “If I am correct, we are friends, and friends hang out with each other.”

“Y-Yeah, I guess…” Amethyst blushed, looking away and staring down at the ground. Only Peridot would ever make her flustered. “Well, what you wanna do then?” Moving off her bed, she walked around her room, back and forth. 

“Do you have a television?” Peridot had to ask, despite that she had seen it when she'd walk through the living room. “Perhaps we could watch something, or talk, if you want. I would suggest we practice together, however, I do not have possession of my clarinet, currently.” 

Thinking over the choices, Amethyst shrugged. “Yeah, I have a TV. We can go out there and watch something, I have cable and Netflix, plus some movies, we could find something you'd like.” 

“Excellent!” A little too enthusiastically, she shouted. She watched Amethyst on the other side of the room, opening the door and walking out, staring at Peridot from the other side, and quickly, she got off the bed, grabbed her stuff and followed Amethyst. They wound up in the living room, and Amethyst had plopped down onto the couch with a loud groan, Peridot joining beside her stiffly. 

Turning on the television and cable box with the remote, Amethyst ask her what she wanted to watch. Together, they decided to watch a few episodes of Bob's Burgers that were on her DVR. For the first few minutes of the episode, Peridot chuckled quietly at the jokes and humor, but she didn't want to really watch. She was more interested in talking to Amethyst.

“So, about this concert band ordeal,” Peridot brought up the same topic they had discussed before: Amethyst's class schedule. It wasn't like she was forcing or guilting Amethyst into joining concert band, because she’d never do that, but Amethyst had constantly complained about how she disliked her physical education class. On many occasions, she talked about how rude the people in her class were, how she hated the teacher who had been talking about weight with Amethyst since she had joined and gotten her physical tests run, one of them stating that she had a body mass index above normal. No, Peridot wasn't only pestering her about this for herself, but also for Amethyst's sake. “You still on board with getting your classes switched?”

Before she answered, Amethyst squirmed in her seat, not noticing their her and Peridot’s thighs were touching, though it didn't escape the attention of the other girl. “Hopefully. I don't really know for sure, though, the school certainly isn't happy about it, switching an athletic class out for music.” 

Frowning at her words, Peridot watched Amethyst's hands moved up to her run her fingers through her hair, and she began braiding her long hair, while Peridot observed her. “I will be hoping that they will allow it. We're ecstatic to have you join us.” 

“Oh really?” A smug expression appeared on Amethyst's face. “I mean, I know I'm hot, but.” Chuckling, she didn't falter during her braiding. 

“While I cannot argue with your statement, your talent is the thing we are most excited for, by far.” Blushing, Peridot tried to act calm and she hoped Amethyst caught onto her indirectly calling her hot, while she also hoped that she didn't get it and just continued braiding her hair, getting off the topic. Was this her way of flirty? She supposed it was, when she was her usual self because her flirting had been extreme when she was emotional and upset over girlfriend troubles that time when she almost got that kiss. 

To Peridot's dismay, or delight, she didn't even know, Amethyst easily understood what she meant and she could see her cheeks heating up. The comers if her mouth were twitching to suppress a smile, which made Peridot smirk in success. “Psh, I'm nothing compared to Opal. She's basically a model. I don't know how you guys can concentrate in there with her.” Although she did believe that Amethyst thought that to be true- and Peridot had found the girl aesthetically pleasing, she knew Amethyst only said this to divert the attention from herself. 

“We can keep our focus because most of us are incredibly dedicated to the music and let our passion overrule our desires.” Something about the way she said it made it feel like she was legitimately mad about it, but though the mention of Amethyst finding Opal attractive had irked Peridot, she wasn't actually angry. “I mean, except for Ronaldo. Not to be...judgemental or any of that sort, but he is creepy and makes me quite uncomfortable.” 

And though Amethyst hated talking trash, she had made her own assumptions about him and she had to laugh about it. Her laughter was cut short when she heard Peridot try to say something else, so she had to quiet down to be polite and listen. 

“Though I must admit, when you join the class, it may be a bit more difficult for me to maintain my concentration.” Biting her lip, Peridot peered over at Amethyst. “Not just your appearance, however! I really like being around you and you make me laugh more than anyone else does, even surpassing Jade.” Laughing awkwardly, she looked away when Amethyst finally looked back at her, and she watched the characters on the screen move. 

“One day you'll regret telling me that!” The smile that appeared on Amethyst's face was malicious and happy. “I’m going to talk to you _all period_ and tell you dumb puns and top quality memes!” From the group chat the marching band had, Peridot had learned that Amethyst's humor ranged in a variety of things. Never had seem been entirely sure if it was all bands, or just theirs that had sent each other Internet jokes and ironic memes back and forth between conversations about music theory or trash talking other bands. 

Rolling her eyes, Peridot smiled but didn't comment on that. Instead, the room fell into comfortable silence, bug Amethyst found herself to be too stiff. Switching positions, she leaned her back against the armrest and cautiously moved her legs over Peridot's lap, giving her a quick look, silently asking if she was fine with this, and Peridot was already nodding before Amethyst voiced what she was thinking. 

Contentedly, both the girls watched the TV with interests, occasionally letting out a snicker or full on cackle if it was funny enough. They watched the adventures of the hilarious family and when Peridot watch this show, her mind usually drifted to what her own siblings would be like, if she had any, but this time was different. Her mind wasn't filled with thinking of how much alike her and her nonexistent little brother would look or how much harder it'd be to have her private gaming time with younger siblings. 

Instead, she was thinking about being in this house- for convenience of imagining the scene, Amethyst standing in the kitchen wearing just an oversized T-shirt and the purple lace underwear she had seen Amethyst wearing at their first competition together, making French toast for her while the room would smell of cinnamon. Even though it was only a daydream, she smirked to herself at the fact that her grandparents, aunts, and uncles had been trying to teach her about how to be a housewife since she was five, but she still could barely cook a decent meal. 

Going back to the fun part of the imagery running through her brain, she imagined walked behind Amethyst while she cooked for them and Peridot would plan her lips of Amethyst's neck, just as Jasper would always do to her. Her body arms would wrap around Amethyst's plush body as she did so, distracting Amethyst but not enough to burn their meal, because she was too skilled a cook for that. Peridot didn't realized that she was signing happily and her hands were moving up and down her leggings, messaging Amethyst's calves and thighs.

“I'm sorry.” Peridot mumbled, stopping the movements of her hands and just resting them on top, trying to look like she was watching the show instead of having her head in the clouds. 

“It's cool, girl,” Amethyst shrugged. “It felt nice.”

“Aha, yeah.” Peridot grew quiet and awkward, but after a few seconds she started up the movements of her hands again, but this time she was actually drawn more focused on the show and watch the ending credits roll on. 

“Another episode?” Amethyst asked, her hands moving to grab the remote. Peridot glanced up at the clock, seeing that it was already seven o’clock. Time had flown faster than she had thought, but that didn't mean she wanted to go, though her stomach did let out a loud growl before she could even open her mouth to speak. 

Another blush rose to her cheeks once again, which wasn't anything new, in embarrassment. “You want to eat something?” Though there was teasing in Amethyst's voice, she was being serious and already pulled her legs from on top of Peridot, ready to head towards the kitchen. 

Nodding bashfully, the two girls got up from the couch and made their way to the kitchen. Peridot, unbeknownst to her, sat in the same exact chair Jade had sat in when she had that talk with Amethyst about her. The Hispanic moved through her kitchen and looked into the fridge for something to make. After a close inspection of both the fridge and the freezer, she closed them and turned to Peridot. 

“I don't have that much ready, I can whip something quick or I have some microwave dinners. Whatcha think?” Amethyst leaned across the counter. 

“I am fine with consuming something so long as it does not contain cow meat. What you got?” With a raised eyebrow, Amethyst turned to her freezer and pulled out a small one serving box of microwavable meatless lasagna, showing it to Peridot in question. 

After a few seconds of thinking about it, Peridot nodded. “That will be adequate, thank you.” Hearing those words, Amethyst took it out of it's package and popped it in for however long it would take. Though Peridot agreed to it, she had wished that Amethyst had been cooking for her, as it would've been a stronger resemblance to her own fantasy, but she didn't want to bother Amethyst too much. 

They talked about various things that didn't matter too much until Peridot's food was cooked and Amethyst handed the warm container to her, sliding into the chair next to her.

“So Amethyst, are you thinking about joining leadership next year?” Peridot hooked a bite of the lasagna watched as Amethyst thought about the question, her brows furrowing in concentration. _How cute._ She thought in her mind and then quickly brushed the thought away, not wanting to get caught up in it.

“Kind of.” Amethyst finally answered, shrugging her shoulders. “It seems like a lot of work though. Don't even know what I'd wanna do.” 

“I think, as I said on…” Pausing, she blushed at what conversation she was going to reference. “Saturday…that you would be a very well fit for woodwind captain, if you would be interested. You should communicate with Jade about it so you can get tips!” Smiling politely, Peridot brought her form to her mouth as she ate another piece of the pasta. 

The saxophonist thought this over for a bit. Jade had been very impersonal. She wasn't completely ignoring her, as she had to instruct them in sectionals and always provided them with tips on how they could make it sound better. Typical section leader stuff. But they weren't interacting as friends anymore. The two of them usually talked when they were both around Peridot, and Amethyst always texted her. Since Jade visited, it was tense between them, though apparently Peridot didn't notice. 

“You're not trying for woodwind captain?” Amethyst raised an eyebrow at Peridot, who was quietly eating her meal happily. 

There was a minute of silence while Peridot chewed and swallowed, wiping her mouth with a napkin. “I will be auditioning for that leadership role too, however, I have heard talk from Obsidian, Jade, and Garnet that they think I will be selected for drum major. Not that I am relying completely on that, but I have a good feeling that I will be drum major, Ruby will be brass captain, and if you audition, you could be woodwind captain.” 

For a while, since she joined, Amethyst was already considered joining leadership next year. She could finally be a captain or a drum major, but having still getting used to this group, she wasn't quite sure if she wanted to. This meant she'd have to attend leadership camps, which usually was costly, be away from home a lot, and be the one to interact with the other bands and create friendly banter. Not that she cared that much about doing so, but it put a lot more stress onto her. 

But she wondered, if she and Peridot were both leaders in the band, would they get to spend more time together? The very thought excited and terrified her. Snapping out of her thoughts, she realized the mentioned girl was staring at her, waiting for her to respond.

“I'm gonna audition, Peri. I actually might audition for drum major too. I-I probably won't get it but it's worth a shot.”

For some reason, Amethyst had expected Peridot to flip out, but she didn't at all. In fact, she smiled at her. “I have been observing a lot of talk of doing the whole co-drum major deal. I would be delighted to work with you.” The genuine compliment was so out of character and it made Peridot blush as she realized. “As long as you do not goof around and can take it seriously.” 

“I take a lot of things seriously.” Amethyst declared proudly, twirling her braid nervously. She felt as if there was a chance in the atmosphere between them and she started heating up. 

“Like what?” Peridot's voice teased slightly, challenging her and raising an eyebrow. She was subconsciously scooting closer to her, forgetting her food. 

And the two of them sat on the chairs, gazing into each other's eyes. Peridot's eyes greener than grass in the spring, and Amethyst's looked like the sky before a storm, blue and gray at the same time. Want was evident in Peridot's eyes whereas Amethyst's were still confused, but she still wanted to press her lips against Peridot's, like she's been wanting to for weeks now and nearly almost did. 

“My relationships.” Amethyst blurted out. “I put a lot of work into them and I feel bad that Lapi and I couldn't make things work. But, I take, um,” Her blue eyes darted around the room, staring intently at the family pack of cigarettes atop the fridge, and then down at Peridot. “I take feelings very seriously.” 

Though she didn't mean for it to, Peridot took it as a dig to herself and her relationship. Growing defensive, Peridot remembered her food and took an angry bite before sipping the water Amethyst gave to her. “What are you trying to insinuate? That I do not take my relationship _seriously?_ ”

Quickly rushing to clarify what she meant, Amethyst shook her head feverishly. “No, no, I just mean that, I meant that I don't mess around in relationships like others do?” 

It wasn't any better to clarify. Peridot frowned and stared down at the table. “But I do not ‘mess around’ either,” She held up her hands to do air quotes. “Jasper and I have a good relationship going. We share mutual amount of trust, respect, and love for one another.”

“And yet you tried to kiss me?” 

Freezing up, Peridot grew very tense and she looked offended, then appalled, and felt speechless, not quite not knowing what to say. She was embarrassed and struggling for the right words. “Her and I were broken up. That is not being unfaithful to her, because we were not seeing one another at the time.” Bringing the glass up to her lips, she took a sip of the ice cold water. Her palms were sweating and she felt her heartbeat starting to speed up at the discussion of the events that took place. “I was vulnerable.”

“I could've just let you kiss me,” Amethyst stole a glance at the other blushing girl, then looked down at her lap. “It would've been easier for me.” 

Seeing Amethyst so serious and flustered was a big difference from her usual self. Her cheeks were red and her left eye was mostly covered, while her right was staring down, avoiding Peridot's eye. “Why did you not allow me to, then?” She ran her hair through her bleach blonde hair, and she looked at Amethyst, who still wasn't meeting her eye. 

“I didn't wanna be a rebound, Peri.” Amethyst's eyes flickered up and she finally was looking straight into the green ones looking at her with interest. 

Instantly, Peridot's mood changed and she growled. “But I needed you to kiss me!” 

Silence filled the air for a couple of minutes, both girls turning so they were facing the front of them, Amethyst tapping her fingers on the desk musically and Peridot eating quietly. Her heart was thumping at a forte dynamic and it was all she could hear, and her face was warm. While she ate, all she could think of was how Amethyst took her words in.

“Believe me,” Amethyst's voice rasped when she saw Peridot take her last bite. “I really wanted to kiss you. Not because you just broke up with Jasper or that you looks especially cute, but I've been wondering what it'd be like to be your girlfriend instead of Jasper.” Peridot watched Amethyst carefully, who moved her hands to cover her face in embarrassment. “I always imagine what it'd be like to go up to you after a performance and just kiss you until you physically can't anymore.”

Her words dripped with nothing but sincerity and honesty. And they made a pleasantly unpleasant imagine pop into Peridot's mind, while Peridot ran her hand through her hair, not knowing what to say or do. She wasn't sure whether she should tell Amethyst that she had been wanting that too, but also that she was in a committed relationship, which she actually didn't want to end, even though she wanted to be with Amethyst at the same time. 

This was stressful. Her hair was probably already turning gray. Instinctively, she moved to bite at her nails nervously, and her silence probably wasn't making Amethyst feel better. Peridot had been trying to flirt this whole time and now she didn't know what to do, with Amethyst practically confessing. She'd been daydreaming about being with her for a while now, and she wished that she hadn't said anything about it.

From her side, she heard Amethyst try to say something, but her voice cracked and she gave up on trying to talk again. They sat like that, quiet, Peridot chewing on her nails when she felt Amethyst grab at in, pulling it away from her mouth. 

“You're bleeding.” Amethyst told her, staring blankly at Peridot's nail, that was starting to drip blood. On the other hand, Peridot didn't really care about it, because the stress of the event seemed more important than a little blood. “And shaking.” Since her hands were moved from her mouth, they were trembling noticeably. 

Peridot's eyes moved to look at her hands, and paid more attention to the chubby hand making contact with her. She furrowed her brows and mumbled. “Shit.” 

That wasn't the response neither of them expected and hearing cuss words come from Peridot's mouth still sounded so foreign to Amethyst. And Amethyst moved her hand, to Peridot's dismay and began cackling loudly. 

And she cackled and cackled, which made Peridot laugh in turn. They laughed for minutes while Peridot's blood was starting to dry, so she had to reluctantly get up to the sink and clean up her finger off, while Peridot went to fetch band aids from Peridot's backpack and before they knew it, they were chilling in Amethyst's living room as if nothing had happened, continuing to watch Bob's Burgers.

They were laying, neither of them mention what happened. The two of them were back to their position before they left to get food, with Peridot rubbing Amethyst's legs that were sprawled out over her. It wasn't until Peridot felt her phone vibrate that she realized the time, that it was well over the time she said she would come home, and it was not the first text she had gotten. 

Her parents had texted her seven times, but she didn't read the ones sent before the one she just received now. Her eyes widened when she looked at the text, announcing that they were outside waiting for her. She gasped in confusion, and wearily pushed Amethyst off of her, then walked to the door. 

“I must leave, my parents are here. I guess I didn't notice their other texts and then tend to worry, so I will see you tomorrow?” Her cheeks lit up in embarrassment and she grabbed at the door knob, though she was still facing Amethyst.

“Gotcha.” Amethyst replied, standing up to move to say by to her. 

“Very well then. I shall be on my way.” Peridot noticed that the air was becoming more tense. Amethyst was now in front of her, and it pleased her every time she was reminded that she was the taller of the two. She stared down into the eyes that appeared more gray at this moment, then down at her plump pink lips. 

Peridot looked like she was going to say something, but Amethyst started speaking before she could. “Did you want to kiss me because of me or because you were upset? Are you mad that I wanted to?” Her voice was raspy and delicate at the same time, and Peridot looked at Amethyst, feeling how close they were. It'd be so easy to kiss her right now and let that be her answer, but she remembered that she a girlfriend and that was wrong. 

“Stop.” Quietly, she wrapped her arms around Amethyst and for a split second, Amethyst thought, she hoped that Peridot was going to kiss her from the way their faces were barely inches apart and she could feel her warm breath, but Peridot instead pulled Amethyst closer and rested her head on her shoulder for a hug. 

Resisting the urge to scream out in frustration, Amethyst hugged her back and was reluctant to let go when she pulled away. 

“I will see you tomorrow!” Peridot smiled and walked out to her impatient mother.

Amethyst was left standing there, more confused than ever before. She could've just kissed her then and there, it would have been a perfect opportunity, but Peridot had a girlfriend and the whole school would throw a fit at her if they found out, plus Jasper would probably beat Amethyst up. Instead of kissing her, she let the girl she loved walk away.

.

“Hello!” Peridot greeted Amethyst when she ran up to her from behind. She had left her first hour as quickly as she could, noticed Amethyst and was glad to see her. Jasper and Peridot usually met up at different location, but Jasper told Peridot that she needed to stay to talk to her first hour about her grades, so Peridot was free to go anywhere. “Just reminding you about the after school rehearsal today! You are going to be present for that, correct?”

Amethyst was shocked to see Peridot, but didn't dwell on it too much, though she didn't know why she wouldn't just tell her in their third hour science class. “I know, I'm going to go, I left my sax in my car to get it after school so I wouldn't have to carry it.”

“That's good, you could have left it in the band room, though.” Peridot pointed out, walking beside Amethyst to wherever she was heading, though it seemed to be in the same direction she would've been going anyway.

“Eh, I was almost late, so nah.” Amethyst shrugged her shoulders easily and noticed Peridot looked like a nerd even when she was just walking, if that made any sense at all. She was standing straight, her hands clutching her ID card (which no one really wore anymore), and she walked with purpose.

“Hm, at least you made it to school.” Peridot pursed her lips as she walked with Amethyst. “Which is your next class?” 

“English.” She answered shortly, nudging to point at the classroom as she walked over to the door, leaning against the wall to not stop traffic, as kids get very salty about that. “See you later?” Amethyst said, though it came out more like a question. 

The three minute warning went off and Peridot looked up at the nearest overhead speaker, then took in her surroundings. “It is only the three minute alarm. How's your day been?” She inquired, smiling politely. 

While Amethyst was confused as to why Peridot was dropping by and talking to her, she answered anyway. “I mean, I got Starbucks on my life way here, and a cake pop for Lapis and I. Overall uneventful, I hate my first hour, but it's been alright. What about you?” 

“Oh, I have not done much either. Jasper has to have discuss her grades with her history teacher, so I have free time this passing period.” Peridot replied. “Also, Jade and a few of the other band people were planning on getting food at that one cute diner by the mall and then just hanging out tomorrow, when we have early dismissal for grade collections.” She explained, moving one hand to her pocket and the other roaming through her hair. “Would you want to come? 

“Who's going?” Amethyst raised her eyebrows in wonder, knowing that I'd she didn't hear about it, it was probably just a concert band thing. 

“Jade, Obsidian, Ruby- I believe she would be going with Sapphire, I am not entirely certain of that. Pearl,” She paused to roll her eyes at the thought of the girl. “Connie and Topaz. And me, of course.” She smiled brightly but it faded as the one minute bell went off and she wished she could stay with Amethyst forever.

“If you guys don't mind, I'll join you. Sounds fun.” Amethyst smiled and looked at her classroom door for a second and the kids beginning to jog to their classes. “You better go if you don't want to be late, though.” She reached out her hand to pat Peridot's bony shoulder when Peridot leaned in for a tight hug, wrapping her arms around Amethyst and feeling her plump body press against her thin one. 

This took Amethyst by surprise, but she hugged back happily, pulling away after a few seconds and gazing into the bright green eyes, that were shining and glazed over. “Bye nerd! See you later!” With those last words, Peridot was left alone in the hallway, feeling giddy and she forced herself to walk to her class. 

But she heard rushing footsteps behind her and she turned around right as a familiar hand grabbed her wrist and would've made her turn anyway. It had a tight grip on her, almost painful and she widened her eyes as she looked at her muscular girlfriend. 

“J-Jasper!” Peridot stuttered and she grew nervous. Her girlfriend had a feral looking grin, malicious and ominous, and her eyes looked darker than usual. The long locks were messy, as if she had been running her hands through them and Peridot gasped when she felt the hand grew tighter, and Jasper quickly switched hands, running and pulling Peridot into a nearby supply closet. 

“I can't miss-” Her words were cut off and lost when she felt lips press harshly against her own, Jasper kissing her roughly, all teeth and tongues and spit. They kissed like that while in the background, the two of them both heard the class starting bell, but neither of them pulled apart even minutes after, when Jasper was the first one to break the kiss. 

“I missed you.” Jasper's personality turned sweet, her voice gentle and the change and her words made Peridot smile. 

“I miss you too. But I can't miss class, I'm going to get in trouble-” Before she could rant on about her worried, Jasper stopped her by sliding down to the ground, back against the wall, bringing Peridot along with her, the smaller girl on top. 

Jasper's heart melted as she looked up at the beautiful girl sitting atop of her. “You’re absolutely stunning, Peridot.” The hand that had been gripping her wrist hard enough to bruise earlier moved up to gently comb through her hair. “You're everything I could have ever asked for, P. You're my treasure, my gem and I can't imagine being without you, keeping me in line.” She continued on, giving strings of compliments while her hand gave light pets through the bleach blonde hair, Peridot practically purring in response. 

Moments like these were what made her so confused. Less than ten minutes ago, Jasper was gripping her roughly and their kisses had been sloppy and harsh, but now, she was showering her in compliments and petting her hair. She loved the moments when she could be content with her girlfriend, where they'd just be.

But the moments where she turned dark, where her anger seeped through, her jealousy taking over, Peridot stood paralyzed watching her girlfriend get like that. It terrified her and though she didn't think Jasper would ever intentionally physically hurt her, she knew that it wouldn't take much to do so. Though, Jasper did always look like she wanted to hurt those who checked her out and Peridot didn't doubt that she would even hesitate to do so. 

Leaning in, Peridot pressed her lips against Jasper's, stopping her from rambling about how in love with her she was. Clearly, Jasper didn't mind being interrupted and she tilted her head to deep the kiss, one of her arms moving around the small of the musician's waist and her paler hand that was running through her hair stopped to gently pull at the hair, making Peridot groan. 

While they kissed, Peridot’s mind was overtaken by the realization of the situation she was in. Here she was, in a cramped closet with her girlfriend, ditching class to make out. The same Peridot that had insisted on doing her classwork even when she was in the hospital for all that time. Now look at her, she's being cool, she's a rebel!

Jasper pulled away from the kiss, tugging at the hem of Peridot's baggy shirt and she blushed, but pulled it off, tossing it to the side. Admiring her soft skin, Jasper's calloused hands ran up and down her body, and she sat up, pulling Peridot by the hips closer as she kissed from her neck, moving down to her chest, while the girl closed her eyes and moaned. Things were escalating and adrenaline ran through her, causing a shiver down her spine. 

Ever since that one make out session where all Peridot could see was Amethyst, what Peridot could see wildly raced between the two girls and it was getting bad that there were many times where it became so realistic that she could almost convince herself that it was real, but she was always brought back to reality when Jasper's voice had been the one saying her name, not Amethyst's raspy, sweet voice. 

She knew that anyone could come in, but she could hardly bring herself to care. Being in here and cutting class made her heart pump faster with excitement. 

.

Somehow, they ended up staying in there after class ended and the next period started. Jasper insisted they stay here and cuddle, and Peridot always liked being held by her toned arms, so she stayed reluctant, but only about five minutes after their third hour began, she began squirming in Jasper's arms. 

“I must go, Jas, I do not think Gutierrez will be too pleased with me coming in late, let alone completely ditching another period.” Peridot protested, furrowing her brows and pursing her lips. 

“Aw, just a couple more minutes, P?” Jasper pouted at Peridot and kissed her forehead, then her cheek, then her lips. 

Pulling away from the kiss, Peridot shooked her head, glancing anxiously at the door. “I must leave, and so should you! We both must maintain greatness in our academics to participate in most of our outside class activities.” She scolded and she caught a glimpse of her wrist, where finger shaped bruises were already starting to form and the stared blankly at them, knowing Jasper didn't mean her too-tight grip. 

“I don't feel like going, babe. I wanna be with you, I hate French, come on, stay with me for just a lil longer?” Pleaded Jasper, and she kissed Peridot's palm, then turning it around and kissing the other side. 

Although Peridot tried to savor every good and sweet moment she had with her girlfriend, she felt uncomfortable in her dirty and sweat clothes and it was starting to get hotter in the small space. Plus, Peridot wanted to turn in her project because she wouldn't have to busy herself with doing anything else in class, other than get ahead on the notes. “Jasper, I cannot and while I do own up to my new label as a ‘rebel’, I can do so while not entirely destroying my academics.” She pursed her thin lips and let Jasper play with her hands while she stared at the door. 

“Also…” Peridot hummed, biting her lip in concentration and she began feeling nervous. “Since we have a few more competitions and rigorous rehearsals coming up, Amethyst and I have completed our project and I need to turn it in with her, she needs me there or she won't get credit.” Her eyes sparked with more interest as she realized that she really needed to go to her third period, and with sudden realization and paranoia, she quickly reached to her back pocket and looked that it was nearing ten minutes into third hour, and she really need to go. Along were some texts from Amethyst, though she didn't answer them and put her phone back in her pocket.

Now she turned her attention back to her girlfriend, who she nearly forgot about in the process of her explanation and her gaze looked like the one she had sent her before, the one that was directed at her when she was first pulled into this closet. Peridot's eyes grew worried and she tried not to hide her fear, gulping the longer Jasper stared at her. 

“Peridot.” 

“Yes?” The blonde replied, looking at Jasper with a nervous smile taking over her face, trying to not let her worry show. 

“Don't talk about Amethyst.” Jasper nearly snarled at her, her lips curling in a dark smile and she grabbed Peridot's hand, holding it tightly. 

“What?” Peridot narrowed her eyes at her, confused. 

“Don't you dare talk about _her_ when you could be talking about me, your _girlfriend._ ” This time, Jasper didn't even try to hide the anger in her voice as one hand clenched her fist and the other held Peridot's bony hand. “I am your girlfriend, you know. _Not her._ ”

Though Peridot tried, she couldn't stop her racing heart as she tried to help Jasper keep her frustration under control and as she piece together what she was saying. “What on Earth do you mean? I am fully aware of that, she's a fri-” 

“Stop!” Jasper screamed and Peridot had to rush to cover her mouth, looking around the room anxiously. She kept them there as she waited a few seconds, trying to listen for footsteps and when Jasper nibbled into Peridot's palm, she withdrew her hands and moved then to grab her shoulders. She had hoped this would calm the girl down a bit but she slapped away her hands and nudged Peridot off from atop her, who didn't mind being knocked off from her girlfriend but was staring at her, fear and anxiety building in her. 

Never before had Jasper gotten this infuriated towards her and she wasn't sure what to do. With a sense of hopelessness and too petrified to move, Peridot sat there and watched the girl bring her long, fit legs to her chest and she watched her biceps flex slightly while she wrapped her arms around them. For once, Jasper looked small and Peridot wished she could scoop her in her arms, but she wasn't able to and it might not be the best idea now anyway. 

“You can't talk to her anymore, P.” The words coming from the person she loved more than anything were said with different tone, but it was clear and demanding. It took Peridot a while to take in what the words meant and she shook her head, lightly at first, before she rapidly swung it back and forth, biting her lip hard. 

Despite the fact that she had stopped believing in a lot of the beliefs she had grown up with, Peridot hoped that she had good karma and prayed she would be blessed with someone catching them, because she couldn't stand the tension heavy in the room.

But alas, no one did and Jasper angrily glared at Peridot, which made her shiver, this time in fright. “No, no, no,” Peridot breathed out and had to hold her head with her hands to think clearly. “You cannot do this to me.” She could feel herself shaking. 

“Me?!” Jasper growled at Peridot, looking at her with pure disdain. “You can't do this to me, Peridot!” Tears built up in her eyes and it was easy to tell that this embarrassed her, from the light blush on her cheeks and she ducked her had down against her knees. Judging from her breathing, Peridot could tell that she was probably now fully crying, giving in to her emotion. Though thick sobs, Jasper tried to speak, her voice sounding drained and unlike her. “I see her...with you and it's like,” Jasper paused when her voice cracked. “Like I'm going to lose you, and I can't lose you, P.” 

Guilt was building up in Peridot as she watched her girlfriend break down in front of her. She had no idea she felt this bad about it, that it was eating at her like this. Initially, Peridot had thought that this was because she didn't like her or something. But seeing her like this, she saw that Jasper was a victim and that Peridot was the one hurting her, so it seemed.

“But I do not have feelings for her!” The statement was whisper screamed and Jasper hesitantly raised her head up to peer at the tiny girl across from her. 

“Clearly she has feelings for you!” Jasper's volume was much louder than Peridot's. Instinctively, her hands moved to tangle in her long mane, pulling at it angrily, getting a few strands out. 

For a little while that ended up being too long, Peridot lingered on that. Amethyst actually wanted to be with her, she actually looked at her the same way Jasper looked at her? This was bad timing to think about the fact that her crush had been feeling the same, but Peridot imagined running into her AP chemistry class, pulling Amethyst out of her seat to press her against the wall- or the desk, or lab station would work nicely too- and kissing her senseless until they were practically glued to one another and both got a referral. Yes, it did make sense with Peridot being a rebel now. 

Yep, she was thinking way too long about it. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes were growing stars and she tried hard, but the corners of her mouth were trying to twitch up in a smile, and Jasper noticed, like she always did with everything. “And you like her too, don't you?! Look at you, all smiling, and look at what you're doing to _me_?” Broken out of her thoughts, Peridot blinked and her heart broke at the sight of her girlfriend and she knew that she couldn't lose her either.

“I do not!” Her reedy voice squeaked out louder than she had meant it to, and she paused anxiously before continuing. “I never have thought of her in that way. You are the only one I want to be with, the only one I love!” Peridot was now unconsciously scratching at her arms, and she looked down noticing claw like marks and rashes forming. 

“You can't treat me like this, Peridot. I don't wanna turn into your side girl.” Jasper's tears were falling freely, though they were now silent. 

“I do not mean to?” Peridot reassured, but it came out more like a question because she was confused. That thought had never crossed her mind that she was the one being wrong, she always thought Jasper was just unnecessarily being jealous. Though, why would she be crying about it here in front of Peridot? She barely ever let herself get too emotional, even with her. Suddenly, Peridot was hit by the thought that she was a bad girlfriend. 

“But trust me! I will never see her in that way!” Lie. “I've never even thought if her like that!” Another lie. “She has never even made any romantic advances towards me…” That, however, was somewhat true. Peridot had been the one begging to be kissed by her, Amethyst had turned her down politely. “I had thought we had a mutual trust with each other.”

Scooting closer, Jasper barely put up any more of a fight, no angry remarks, though her hands were still in fists due to her frustration. Jasper tried to calm herself down by continually clenching and unclenching them, but it didn't stop her tears. 

“I trust you, P. It's others I don't trust.” She explained and felt small hands grab her wrist and pull her arm down, catching her hand while it was in a fist and Jasper's strained hand was held loosely by Peridot's shaking one. 

“I want what's best for us. I really just want to love you. Can't you do this for me? For us?” Jasper let her head fall back against the wall in defeat. 

Regardless of Peridot's protests to the whole thing, she didn't voice them, and she slowly nodded, accepting what had to be done. While the inside of her wanted to scream and cry and talk about how unjust this was, she reasoned that she was hurting Jasper and she couldn't do that to her, because Jasper has never ever hurt Peridot that deeply, not even the whole fiasco with the cheerleaders that sprung more recently. 

“Okay.” _I'll do it for her._ “I will no longer talk to her or text her or anything of that sort.” Peridot wanted to punch herself for letting herself say those words, but she stayed quiet, silently staring blankly, at their intertwined hands, holding Jasper's pale hand. Even if she knew that she'd seem Amethyst everywhere, she had to be a good girlfriend and do this for her. 

“Thank you so much, babe.” The sadness and anger was now pretty much gone from Jasper, she no longer looked as drained. Her stellar smile was back as if nothing had happened and she jumped to her feet, pulling Peridot up with her. 

Awestruck by the sudden change in mood, Peridot could only stare, confused but silent. Jasper pulled her own phone from her front pocket and she glanced at the time. Nearing twenty five minutes after third hour. “Okay, babe, you're going to get out first. Walk out of her and I'll quietly close the door behind you. Have you planner out if you're going to change out of your bottoms and underwear, I know you always have spare clothes in your locker.” Jasper grinned and gave Peridot a wink, who just continued watching in shock. “Knowing you, they likely won't stop you, and if they do, just hold up you ‘pass’ and they shouldn't read too much into it. Text me when you get there, okay?”

Barely able to think at the mindfuck that was going on in her brain, she nodded slowly, kind of processing most of what she said. 

“Okay. I love you.” She took off her jacket, it was old and was from last year's football season, but Peridot let her put it on her. Automatically, she raised herself on her toes and reached up for a kiss, which Jasper leaned down, kissing her with intensity, making Peridot forget everything for a second, but when she walked out of the room and the door closed behind her, she was terrified. 

Quickly thinking, she walked over to the bathroom and into a stall. She already had a change of clothes in her bag planned for after today's rehearsal, but she supposed she needed it more now than later, at least she wouldn't have to deal with it for very long later. Stopping down her bottoms and underwear, she changed into new clothes and just kept wearing Jasper's hoodie. Walking out of the stall, she went to wash her hands and fix her hair, and that's when she realized hot tears were running down her cheeks. Glancing nervously at the entrance, she looked back and quickly went back to the stall, so no one would see her crying. 

It didn't take her long to realize she was shaking as well. She knew Jasper just wanted to keep her to herself, but the thought of not being able to talk to Amethyst made Peridot nervous, especially since she had started being the person she went to to vent about her feelings, even surpassing Jade. Amethyst had always been the one so accepting of anything, the one Peridot knew for a fact she could count on, and it felt terrible to have to lose someone like that. 

Scenarios played in her mind of what it would be like when she'd walk into her chemistry class, what she'd do when Amethyst would try to talk to her, if she'd get in trouble for being late nearly half a period, and how she'd be when they have to turn in their project together. 

But Jasper had seemed so upset about the two of them. She looked so scared of losing Peridot to her and Peridot couldn't do that to her girlfriend. 

If only Peridot would have noticed that Jasper wasn't a victim, that she was controlling her, and that this was manipulation at it's finest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That last few lines were really just because I wasn't sure how to end it. I cut what happens after to put it in the next chapter.
> 
> Tbh I feel so bad for Peri but I also kind of the the way she was acting in the beginning of this and the last chapter, idk. I mostly feel bad for Ame!!! My poor precious bean!!!
> 
> Sorry for continuity mistakes or typos or anything I'm so sleepy
> 
> Check out my Tumblr @ justadapperbowtie.tumblr.com !!! I kind of want to discuss how frequent the updates will be?? Especially since school will be starting in a couple of weeks, and Summer of Steven. 
> 
> Reviews n commentary and such make me v happy!!! Love you!!! Have a beautiful day!!!

**Author's Note:**

> If you have artwork or thoughts or anything related to this, the tag on Tumblr is 'DMOYH'!!! c:


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